CC, it looks like two separate plotlines are heading towards each other faster than a speeding bullet. Isn't it fun?
I loved this line, because it exemplifies what you've been so good at: giving us a completely different culture and worldview. Of course people growing up venerating LnC wouldn't think there's something bad about aliens! Good for Elise, because this has been troubling me about your depiction of Utopia from day one. A society that needs to be taken care of, that needs to be shielded from the Not Nice (tm) things in reality, isn't Utopia; it's little children, being babysat by their betters. Silas is just a darn cute guy. And Madge is soooo cool!

Can't wait to read the next part, CC!

Hazel

Hmmm.... you've got me going HMMMMM, CC

Are there two separate bakery time zones in place here?

NAHHHHHHHH

I'll keep my thoughts to myself until the next post!

Yay! It's back! ) Hank notices that he can speed, and he worriedly points this fact out as a Bad Omen. Utopia is starting to come unravelled. With the new timeline, the anti-speeding technology was never put into effect. Very cool. Very subtle. I love the idea. But... If the timeline changed so that the speeding thing was never put into effect, how come Hank is able to remember that it existed? Shouldn't his memory of what happened change along with the reality of it not having happened? Cursed time paradoxes...

Or does Hank get special dispensation because he's a time traveller and thus somewhat disassociated from the timestream? If that's the case, though, it still doesn't quite explain Silas's confusion about the lock on the bakery (unless it actually is normally locked for some reason).

Anyway, that's just two tiny little things amongst a sea of goodness. (I told you I'm loving this story, right?)

Sorry I'm not going into more detail about the good things, but it's kind of hard to pick out the especially good bits from amongst the whole series of really good bits. So, for now, I'm just going to have to leave it at this:

Thanks again for brightening my day. We're only halfway through the year, but I think I can safely say that you can expect a "Best Overall" nom from me when the time comes.

Paul

P.S. Please don't tell McDonald's how close I came to abusing their trademarked slogan. I didn't mean it. Really...

Quote:
“True,” she answered. “But the world survives. And in surviving is a little wiser.”
<snip>
Elise was quiet now, watching him. Waiting for him to tell her more, or to let her idea take root, he didn't know which. &#8220;So, Utopia finds out and... grows up?&#8221;

&#8221;Yes.&#8221;
Endquote

Perfect

Quote:
&#8220;And in a way, he will have succeeded,&#8221; Elise ventured. &#8220;Because Utopia's citizens will know a peaceful society doesn't just happen. It's a façade. We are reaping the benefits of the hard work of others.
Endquote

Very good

Quote:
You, Madge, Andrus--&#8221;

&#8220;Not Andrus!&#8221; he said a bit too forcefully.

She raised an eyebrow at that. &#8220;There's a story there.&#8221;

&#8220;A novel,&#8221; he said dryly. &#8220;A tragedy. Epic length.&#8221;
Endquote

AWESOME!

We're on our way to a new, improved Utopia! Thank you so much, CC, for not unraveling all of your wonderful work. I LOVE where this is going!

Oh, and Elise's idea of offering Tempus notoriety/fame: absolutely pure genius.

I love it all. Looking forward eagerly to the rest. Thanks again for writing & sharing with us.

/me shakes head in awe

Phenominal! So worth the wait and thanks for making sure that I'm back from vacation! It is my bday fic after all!

We are on a collison course and I so can't wait to see which events unfold first or if they just smash into each other head on. I would love to see a scene where Elise and/or Madge meat L&C!

Oh CC!! SOOOOOO happy you're back!

~Liz

Ditto everything above to infinity and beyond...

possible solutions to Paul's nitpicks..

Maybe organic memory takes longer to rewrite?(lame, I know)

As for the not being tied in the first place, maybe there is a Dangling of the Jaws of death room in the museam???

James

From Paul:
First:


quote:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
&#8220;She's right. That's the first rule. The second is- don't actually get yourself tied to the chair, but Lois has a little trouble with that one.&#8221;
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Okay, I have to say I love this line. One amongst many that I loved. The only thing is... L&C have only known each other for about a week (give or take a few hundred years...). Clark has seen her tied to something which is about to explode... precisely once.
____________________


The very fact that she HAS that rule reveals a predeliction for getting tied to the chair in the first place.

LOL. Clark is so weird sometimes. I love it.

He told her!

Poor Silas.

And good old Madge. She and I would definitely get along well.

God, you're killing me! I can't wait for them to charge inside the bakery and start hammering questions at people. But uneasy silences and being scared, eh. Lois, can't you just take your usual option of kill first and ask questions later? And then I tell myself, "C'mon, Jen, they're trying to save the world and themselves here. Wouldn't you be scared?" I guess. The future hottest team in town still has some learning to do, grasshoppers.


JD

Yay, you're back and posting! Great!

Like others have said, I loved this line:

Very Lois, LOL. I also enjoyed Clark's response to it, and it didn't raise any eyebrows for me even though they've only known each other a couple weeks. Clark surely has heard all about Lois's reputation for getting herself into trouble; this defined her character even before Superman showed up. And yes, they've both been going through the Museum, or at least parts of it, so I didn't have a problem with Clark teasing her about this character trait. After all, that's what you do when you tease -- you pick up on something, even if it's minor, and act like it's a big deal. So either way, I thought it was cute.

I *loved* the fact that the timeline is shifting slowly, in bits and pieces. As for whether the current residents of Utopia should recognize the changes, though, I chalk that up to there being no real answer to time-travel paradoxes and in a light, funny story like this, it doesn't raise any flags for me. And hey, we already know that Silas, Hank and Madge are all special. <g>

I was really hoping that Hank and Madge would show up at the bakery just as L&C&S were grilling the elders about Tempus, LOL, but I also love that Hank is nearly giddy with the newfound freedom of going against the "rules" and is thinking they might just be able to do what needs to be done without asking first. (What is it they say? It's easier to ask forgiveness than permission? LOL.) And speeding -- whee! So much fun, LOL!

(And I'm still trying to figure out how the Peacekeepers have cloaked their offices in the bakery from Super-vision. It makes sense if they are trying to conceal their existence from the family, since there is still the occasional Lane-Kent with powers, but I have no idea how they may have accomplished it!)

Can't wait till Saturday, CC!

Kathy (who also laughed at the bear claw line ... great stuff all the way around )

TEEEEEEEJ

Oh fun part. I like Silas! More soon. Laura

*stops twitching* Phew! That was getting tiring.



Marge is no longer my favorite character. She has been displaced by Elise.

And since we're nearing the end (*sniffle*), I won't even complain about the length of the section.

This is Utopia?

Tank (who thinks that Lois may just ditch Clark once they make it back just to make sure that this Utopia doesn't come into being)

Yay!!!

I've just realised why I love Madge so much. She's like a buttoned-down amalgamation of Granny Weatherwax and Nanny Og from Terry's Pratchett's Discworld.

All commonsense and decorum on top with an underedge of rebellious teenager about her. LOL.

I'm going to be surprised if some of these original characters of yours don't turn up heavily in the Kerth noms next year, CC. They're all like old friends already. I'm going to miss them when this one is done. Would it be terribly bad form to demand The Further Adventures of Madge and Her Peacekeepers, before you've even finished the first lot?

LabRat

Yes, Tank. This is Utopia. It doesn't always make sense or seem perfect (to me, anyway), but it's still the best, most logical version of Utopia that I've ever seen. ("That's wonderful, Mr. Kirk, but if there's no money at all and everyone does the jobs they feel like doing, then how can you have businesses which are open with any kind of reliability? For that matter, how do you get anyone to do the scutwork? It's not like you have robots to do it. Come to that...") It's also a very lighthearted version which means you don't have to take it completely seriously.

There's no crime, no pollution, no one left homeless or uncared-for, and the people are happy. It also fits the in-canon descriptions of Utopia, both Wells's sappy idealism and Tempus's utter boredom.

Looks like L&C's visit is going to improve matters, though. Whatever happens to them when they go back "home," they'll have had an impact on the future. Maybe Utopia has become too complacent and such, but L&C's presence (not to mention their absence elsewhen) is definitely stirring things up.

So, yeah. It's not a pefect representation (as noted above, I do have my nits to pick), but I don't know that one's possible. One of the things that struck me after reading Part One was how ambitious it is of CC to even try writing a story with Utopia as the setting (few have dared, and with good reason), and I, for one, have been very impressed with how she's managed to pull it off.

Paul, who, for some reason, is stuck on the idea that, in following with the Dilbert Principle, Andrus should be promoted to a nice cushy desk job with a title along the lines of "Captain, Ministry of Idealized Sociology, Helper And Protector." (Captain MISHAP for short.)

Loved Clark and Silas's conversation whilst watching a disappearing Lois. Kind of like the best father and son dialogue you could imagine combined with the best buddy dialogue you could imagine.

Can't wait to see the faces on the bakery staff when Lois and Clark walk in. Oh, and Kathy, I'm sure we were told that the headquarters was shielded by lead - something they did way back when as a means of hiding it from any family members with powers.

Elise is a hero, but I still love Madge. Silas is cute, and, well, I like Hank, too. I don't think there's anyone I don't like, come to think of it!

But my most favourite bit was when Lois held out her hand for Clark. The poor guy has only just become Superman, yet Silas keeps expecting him to behave like he's been doing the job for years. Loved that Clark didn't want to spoil Silas's cherished images, and loved even more that Lois recognised all of this and automatically gave Clark the support he needed. My heart melted.

Yvonne

CC

This continues to be absolutely brilliant.

Tricia

Actually,Paul, I completely agree with your take on this Utopia. I think CC has done an exceptional job of decribing a society that on the surface seems 'perfect' and fits very nicely with the clues that were given in the series.

I also know that any society that would appear Utopian to a ninteeth century fellow like Wells would absolutely horrify Lois.

Marge and her crew may be fun and interesting but I'm really looking forward to the inevitible fallout. Once Lois and Clark manage to escape this Utopian institution how is Lois' knowledge of her involvement in bringing such a place into being going to affect her relationship with Clark.

Lois, especially at this point in her life, is not someone who likes to be told what to do. She can become contrary just to be contrary. It might not matter what she has begun to feel for the hapless, but cute, superhero. She might just distance herself from Clark to save the future from itself.

Tank (who thinks that it would be funny if Lois becomes a champion of Tempus' cause)

I know I've mentioned the love, haven't I? Because you guys are just so, so, so wonderful. Your comments and issues raised are so, so... well... wonderful!! And this posting thing is down right addictive; I'll almost be sorry when we're done! Thank you for being here. Sit back, because this will be a really long reply!

I went back and fished this out, AnKs's comment from part 5. It registered with me then, and is so smart and really relevant to the discussion on this part:

Love that. And this:

And, while we're on the subject, all of these:

I don't want to say too much about any of this. Just... Yes! Exactly! Dead on! (At this point I'm no longer worrying about showing my POV since it's pretty much out there...)

Ok. Our Mind Reading Department features three readers. This first comment had one BR emailing me, demanding to know what sort of black magic Chris was using to gain access to my HD.

Heh. And gads...

Yvonne answered this correctly, KathyB. Lead-lining, but you are so dead on is asking about the cloaking, since technology would have advanced over the years... And that's all I'm saying.

I have no comment on this comment. I just really like it. And... ok... this was one of the main ideas that started me writing. Who would hate Utopia as much as Tempus...? Hmmmmm

Now, the Mind-Boggling Part of our comments. Hats off to Hatman for this:

Cursed time paradoxes, indeed! I have thought myself so deeply in circles on this whole thing, often to the point of losing the plot altogether. One afternoon I drove ten miles past the turn off to my daughter's soccer field- making her late for her game- because I was completely absorbed with working out the details on this. Poor Margie. That's sort of a weird excuse to give your coach. But I digress...

Anyway, James said it way better and in far fewer words, and I was already indebted to him for the high school locker, but now even more so:

That's what I'm shooting for. That it will start with technology, on the fringes. The first ripple in the pond. And it will spread from there. Also, you'll notice as we go, I took a everything *and* the kitchen sink approach to what the demise of Utopia might look like. Tossed out every theory I could think of! And I should thank Tank and Labrat here for fielding each and every theory so neatly and without complaint.

Nearly done. I know this is far too chatty!

The line with Lois being tied to a chair. Clark seeming to have a knowledge of her he might not have in their short acquaintance.

Love both of these! I do think Clark would have been fairly familiar with Lois Lane's reputation, been filled in by co-workers in the short time he was there. So, that was one angle I was working off. Also, love the 'Jaws of death' room. And, really, can I prattle on some more? (Skip ahead if I'm getting on your nerves...)

I didn't come right out and say so, but I think it's an Interactive Booth. Like you find at Epcot Center in Disney World. You can sit in a simulator that places you in famous Lois Lane scrapes and you do your best to escape, the one who can go longest without yelling 'Help Superman!' wins a prize.

(I couldn't work that into the narrative without dragging things down, just like I'm doing with these comments.)

Also, I think there's an x-ray vision booth, too. Stand inside and watch the walls dissolve just like you're Superman!

Ok. Sorry. All done.

Last thing, I swear...

Oh, Lab. Don't encourage me. You have no idea...

If you made it to the end of these comments, give yourself an extra from me. Thank you for indulging me. Part 14 is on its way!

CC

/me encourages CC with all the nudges, nags, cookies, free flights to Disneyworld and everything else she can think of.

I mean, all great authors should have a character series of stories to their name, CC. It's practically traditional. Required, even. A must.

LabRat (who still thinks Chris is practising the dark arts. Either that, or you're just one of those frighteningly clever FoLCs we seem to have in abundance here, Chris. )

Great part

Karla

*whew* Long swim to catch up with the boat... (that metaphor died, didn't it? <g>)

LOL!!!!

Ooh boy... keep your mouth shut. <g>

ROTFL!!! That's great, really great!! First hand experience for Silas of the "jumping in without checking the water level first." And don't think I didn't notice that nickname, CC, I really like it.

You know those gems of yours I'm always going on about, CC? That's one of them!

That is just so smart!!

EEEEP!!! The part hadn't quite loaded all the way for whatever reason, but when I went to reload... this happened!!!

Sara