Eep! You caught me. I was supposed to be writing... actually, sleeping, seeing as it's 3 am. And under no circumstances was I supposed to start reading anymore posted stories - I'm way behind as it is. But alas! I peeked and saw that HoL scene... Love that scene... and that this was your first fic... so here you are. Lovely fdk, which does come at a price... I'll need more story.

You know, sometimes I really wish he would.

Ouch! And Clark's just hurt enough that I'll believe that.

Eeep! This doesn't sound good!

Awww!! ) to Clark making his very cutting remarks to Lois "Get in bed with the devil." My poor boy is hurting. And now he's probably kicking himself for being so cruel to Lois, but at the same time wanting to hate her. Yipes, what I really meant to say, was great job describing the emotions! And I'll just reiterate that fact that you can't leave us hanging like this!!

More please.

Sara

Mouse, you're off to a great start with your first fic!

Great to see Superman actually warn Lois about Luthor. He's still not giving her much but at least he's done it. Nevertheless he didn't do it with much grace, which is fine because that still gives us that sense of resentment that was so strong in the orginal scene.

quote:
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What about Luthor? Do you *know* him too? He’s a criminal, Lois. A murderer. But all you see is what he wants you to see – the charming, *rich* man. Is that all you’re after? His money? My glamour? If that’s what your love is, I’ll pass."
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Yep -that's S1 Superman all right.

Loved Lois's destruction of her scrapbook - she had a good time <vbg> Cathartic even! And then her more reflective thoughts in the morning and her decision to "act" rather than play the victim. So Lois.
But this surprised me:

quote:
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Whoever Alice had thought might be standing at her door, she was not prepared for a tear-streaked Lois Lane.
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Why was Lois 'tear-streaked'? Guess she did a bit of backsliding in the cab on the way over. Understandable.

Really liked what you've done with Alice! In the show we never had a sense of her as anything other than "wife of" so it's nice to see her backstory too. And it's quite a backstory!

Really enjoyed it, Mouse - looking forward to finding out what happens next.
- How will Lois procede to "investigate Luthor"? Will she accpet his proposal as a means of going undercover (god, I hope that's not a pun <g>) ? Will she enlist Clark to help her or will she avoid going t o him, mindful of "the hurt" she'd given him?
- Will Superman continue to be as vindictive as he was when he left Lois's appartment? Or will he, like Lois, have better thoughts in the morning?

c.

Wow so far you have me hooked! I can't wait to see what happens next. Laura

Mouse, absolutely ditto Sara and Carol! This is fascinating, and so far very well put together. Superman's bitter, angry comment to Lois is perfect - just what we all wish he'd said to her in the episode, I'm sure. Well done! )

Great start. I love that Clark couldn't help but shoot his mouth off about Luthor and that Lois believes him.

Wow! Looking forward to next post, everybody else covered most of it, but really well described and extremely intriguing storyline. See this is why they should have had a messageboard back when Lois and Clark first aired, then they'd have plenty of storylines to keep the show alive and awesome writers to pick from. Bravo!!

TEEEEEEEJ

Yah! Yah! Mouse wrote a great story and everything, but I should really get the credit because I told her to post it. Otherwise, I'd be the only one reading it.

Told you so. Told you so.

And there's more great stuff to come.

gerry

This is nicely cleaned up from the original post, but the great concept is exactly the same. I want to see where Lois goes from here. Interesting explanation for why Perry kept quiet about Lex.

Nan

Mouse,
Look at all these wonderful comments! I think we have a new addition to the list of wonderful LnC fanfic writers. Great job!

-Seema

Wonderful characterization of Alice.
The subtle "only two" was ingenious

-Ankit

Mouse,

I am so glad to see you are back with this story!

I liked this when you first posted way back in November (all my original comments still apply), and I like it even more now. I wish Lois had investigated Luthor. Interesting premise - I can't wait to see where you take this.

Please POST MORE!

- Vicki