Wrong Place, Wrong Time, Wrong Clark TOC can be found Here

Oooops. There I went and posted 15 minutes early again. I hope you can forgive me.

Clark's line about couples getting married by checking into a hotel's honeymoon suite was inspired by Erin Klinger's epic fanfic The Accidental Husband .

Nothing like the romance of being in a honeymoon suite during Valentine's Day to put a couple in love in the mood to... talk.

I'd love to hear your thoughts.

This reason to not do it makes a lot of sense.

Clark: That would just be cruel and wrong.

Lois: Actually, it was your cousing, but close enough.

Perry: I do understand how to get what needs to happen to happen.

Clark: she cares about me. And she is jealous.

Clark: I would do this, if not for the curse.

he is going to tell her all his secret. OK, I only have a little bit of hope of that happening.

He has no idea.

I figured she had come to join Clark in bed.

Lois: Actually, it is wonderful, but I am not going to tell him that.

They are kissing.

They are making out.

I still think he should stop believing Wells.

and this time he can't blame it on the pheremone.

I am glad they get this moment of happiness.

she has forgiven him.

He will have to explain this soon. I think it is time for him to tell her the full truth.

He is far too believing in Wells' theories.

Well, at least she sees what is going on. The thing is, she has no way of knowing why.

she has admitted that Clark is right.

Oh, so she does not believe them. She is speaking the words to get him to talk. Well, I think it is her wisest move yet.

Good point. Hmm, he really should tell her everything.

I just re-watched "Honeymoon in Metropolis" last night, and I was wondering if you would include this line. I am glad you did.

I love how Clark actually made a sensible response here.

Why can't he use his x-ray vision to look through the wall?

Again, Lois fails to notice what he looks like with his glasses down.

Oh no, she is going to try sneaking over there.

Lois: At least he is sorry about this.

Wait I though he had said he had sex but it was not making love because it was not with her. How exactly was that wishy washy?

John: Thank you for reading, and the FDK.

It does?



I figured it was for the joke.

That's why he's the boss.

Slightly.

Quite the conundrum, huh?

I thought you might.

Plus, canon Clark says something similar to Lois in HiM, although he's teasing.

Thanks. <<see above note for story referral>>

CLARK: Could you please stop rubbing that in?

She really doesn't want to be married to any of the men she went to the honeymoon suite with, let alone all of them.

Instead of Clark knowing he'd sleep on the couch and Lois assuming he'd just give her the bed?

Well, marriage vows aren't to be taken lightly, John.

Clark's already broken that vow with that little white lie about Cat by the end of the scene.

No, he doesn't. Actually, that's what she said in canon.

Oh, dear. Trouble ahead.

About as much as they did in canon at this point. The making out really starts AFTER the maid leaves.

CLARK: And risk Lois's life just to get sex? I don't think so, John.

Nope. She's sober and she wants him.

Yes, a moment, and then reality sets back in.

LOIS: Clark's kisses have that affect on me.
Patience, grasshopper. Patience.

And he won't have any doubt in them without cause.



I think you missed something in that section. I highlighted it for you.

LOIS: Are you saying everything I've done up until now has been stupid?

One track mind much, there, John? It makes me wonder if you'll keep reading AFTER she finds out. Don't worry, I won't reveal too much too soon.

Thanks. I thought it a good segue into talking about Lana.

-- Response to John's FDK - Cont.

CLARK: There's no winning here, is there? Do I even get a point for mentioning Lana? Well, not by name, but that really wasn't necessary...

Er... no, it was the 800 lbs gorilla.

Lois can be focused when she applies herself.

2 points for being close-enough. Actually, the word was "you".

Well, yes, her and a new dimension to save, and that new houseplant to water. Oh, shucks, he left that in the other dimension. He'd have to mention it to Wells next time he popped in and tell him to go water it for him. <<ducking>>

Don't worry, answers will come, whether or not they are the correct answers though...

Um... No, Clark knows that Lois WANTS him sexually, but not that she loves him.

Hmmmm. Yes, how will he explain his previous actions?

CLARK: One little thing or two, really.

Good thing she's a professional interviewer then.

Good point.

Hence the "if he was born in 1966" disclaimer to this theory.



Her name really isn't necessary at the moment and more likely to clam up.

Right, that too.

Darn A Plot.

I always thought Clark's response was lame-o and should have clued Lois in. Who else can't see through lead? Duh!

Nope, she only catches him pushing them back up.

Well, how else are they going to solve the A Plot? Clark goes?

LOIS: Gee, Clark's apologizing. What a shocker. Please note sarcasm.

His initial response was:

That's what she meant by "wishy-washy".

This entire scene was included in the first break up of parts. But when I shortened the extra long parts to reasonable lengths again, I had to break up this scene, so I picked this spot. Sorry about any confusion.

Thanks for reading. I'm glad you liked the mock-wedding.

OK, maybe on the scale of "catch Harrington in a crime" verses "expose me and Clark to office gossip", it does not make sense that she objects. Still, I like how she is at least acknowledging the whole Revenge inicident. The failure to do so in the show made the episodes too close to no net change, zero-sum episodes.

Hey, he was on the verge of telling her 4 sections ago or so, I lost most patience at that point. Actually, he almost told her 15 or so sections ago. So he has been so close, so often, I have just decided to constantly push for it.

I think you missed something in that section. I highlighted it for you.[/Quote]

Even if she is lieing, she still admitted that Clark is right.

Of course I still will read after she finds out. Even if they get married the next scene. Somehow I doubt that it will happen like that.

On the issue of what Clark told Lois before, we had this back in part 72.

So, yes, his first response was wishy-washy, but then he added more clarification back there.

That was Perry's point.

Well, being that here it was only a week ago. Yes, I couldn't believe canon they just brushed that under the rug, before sending them off on a honeymoon. But, welcome to television, where a character can have a broken arm one episode and be off playing football (American style) the next.

Actually, he first tried to tell her back about part 20, when he thought she had kissed him on Trask's plane because she liked him. So, what you're saying is that as a theme, this one bites the big one? Or has dragged on too long? Oh, dear.

Thank you! And, no, it won't happen like that.

But he isn't supposed to know that she remembers that. As far as he knows (from what she told him), she had a total blackout of those two days.

LOIS:

But it was Lois thinking that his previous response had been wishy-washy and unclear.

As far as Clark knows she has no memory of ever asking this question before, but we were discussing that Lois should have a clear answer, not what Clark thinks of the whole matter.

LOIS: So, what you're saying is that I'm not allowed to think his previous answer sounded wishy-washy, and ask him the question again to see if he -- the great liar -- would give me another answer, being that HE doesn't know that I remember the first one?

What is Mr. Fredericks going to think when Lois and Clark Kent are now staying a couple more nights at the Honeymoon Suite after Lois got a cheap first night alone?

Lois:
PERRY: Lois!
LOIS: I’m still *thinking* about it! Geeeeez…

So, incest?



Alt Lois?

/decides to just scrap any further ambitions of writing own fic/



Uh-oh. Perry’s a licensed minister, isn’t he? Does that mean Lois and Clark are now accidentally legally married? There was once a comedy about a priest accidentally marrying the bride and the stand-in groom at a rehearsal ceremony.

Also, mad Lois is always extra sexy, so all beds(sic) are off.






Of Clark?

Needing a moment before turning towards her?

I wonder what housekeeping would think about the well-built couple first setting up a video camera near the living room couch and then next to the Jacuzzi.

She could always have sold her body…

/wonders what happened to them/

I think that’s not in the script…

Sucks to have killed many babies in a previous lifetime. And blown up a planet or two. I mean, that guy’s got worse karma than Tarkin.

Poor dear. She’s finally found a guy who does it for her and then he *can’t*. Just her luck.

Maybe if she tied him down with a tie of his?

Michael

He will think it was worth charging her the lower rate to get her to actually show up, because obviously she liked it so much she went and got married so she could experience it more.

Michael: Until I'm fully awake enough to write, I'll work on my FDK. Looks like you've been updating your smilies list again. Thanks for the feedback.

That they decided to get married after all?



PERRY: aw... shucks. Thanks. I like to rib my reporters so.

Alt-Lois wasn't married at the time of her death.

She's not paying for the room, she's "and guest".

You mean this one?

I try my best to surprise you.

What? Why? I love your stories!

I vaguely remember that plot somewhere. And...

Only couches, sofas, floors, and ceilings?

Lois denies emphatically resembling that remark about spying on Clark.

Of course. He wasn't wearing his glasses.

Well, they took it down before going into the DP, after that first night, so housekeeping didn't notice.

Well, that would be a new way to play fake-Monopoly. /Michael runs off to pen a new scene for his HiM fic/

Duh! Lois ate them.

Ooopps. Did Lois go off-canon again?

It was bound to happen eventually.

-- Continuation of Response to Michael's FDK --

And here I thought you were saying that Clark was the reincarnation of Anikan.

LOIS: <<sniffles>> Isn't it? Well... <<stretches her muscles>> we'll have to see about that. I do like a challenge.

Actually, there's a new fic about that...

Really? Lois lying to him? Or Lois apologizing?



I see that line about Clark living with someone from canon is one of your favs too.

Either ER is excited about Clark telling Lois about being engaged, or he's enjoying EW metaphor about the gorilla punching Lois in the face. Either that, or he's drunk and just popping in smilies willy-nilly for fun. I'm going with a).

So, there's Lex's opinion and that's it? Not even a highway?

Clark shrugs adorably.

Good thing Lois is brunette.

CLARK: I knew I shouldn't have hooked up with Rachel again, after she returned from her stint in the military... while I was still engaged to Lana.

Yes, she's adding up details now: 2+2+1+1=9

or a "yes, dear."

You aren't accusing Clark of rape of Lana are you?

And? She wanted *him*?... over Clark? No, impossible.

No, a mic pointed in that direction.



Lois knew he had answered the question before, but since Clark has a habit of lying... And this is a subject on which grown men in their late twenties are apt to lie...

BTW: I also found: and and on the cheeky page.

I know that feeling.

Kinda sorta. Just opened the happy page and tried for some variety.



Yes, but after the gorilla I realized why should I even try. It’s like selling 5th-hand stuff in front of uuuu Macy’s? /mutters about needing to try and finish valentines vignette sitting on harddrive for 3-4 years…/

Hey! That was just a joke…

Yeah. Well, not the ceilings, unless he wants to tell her a secret.

Rrrrrrright.



Hey! Actually… /imagines Lois pulling a community card “you’ve spent all your rent money on shoes/computer stuff. To ensure you can pay your rent, you have to sell your body to another player for 500 monopoly dollars”/

I know. I was going for subtle recognition of joke to match subtly of joke-presentation.

She’s a naughty girl!

Also, Anakin.

/goes and waits over yonder for scene to appear/

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Michael

Variety is the spice of life.

FREDERICKS: Maybe Mr. Kent likes that in a woman?

LOIS: No Comment.

Is this just a warning that you're going to disappear again in the beginning of... April?

Um... I know. It's one of the perks of "Evil Writerhood". Alt-Lois wasn't married to Lex or any other man at the time of her death in the Congo.

When do hotel registers require a signature from all guests in the room? I often register for a room for the whole family while my hubby unpacks the car and kids.

Which bride called off the wedding in the middle? There was that bride who found sleep more enjoyable than a honeymoon, but she was part frog, so she was already kind-of weird. Perhaps Perry has never stayed at the Lexor and didn't know about the chocolates, or being that he knows that Clark doesn't like sweets, that it would be more of a headache to include them in the vows?

please do! The gorilla was inspired by those 800lbs Gorilla commercials from a few years ago (this one was the only one I could find on youtube).

On my romantic comedy plot list, I have a couple, who HATE each other, go to Vegas to be Best Man and Maid of Honor at their best friends' wedding and accidentally wake up the next morning to find themselves married... They decide to stay married, because he's Canadian and needs a greencard, and she wants to shut up her nagging mother, who never expects her to get married. Hijinks and true love ensue. I never wrote it up... maybe someday. Perhaps that's what I was thinking of when you mentioned that plot.

CLARK: Oooops.

She was protesting too much.

But... but... but... that WAS the reason. Do you think that there was another reason he needed a moment of Lois not looking at his face?

EW thinking she might need extra sleep due to being extra slow today.

/EW goes searching on dark side for sequel to Michael's HiM story/ <<Hey, I can always dream, right?>>

Hmmmm. Didn't I mention I was half-asleep while answering this FDK?

LOIS: What? I just kissed him!... maybe there was a bit of propositioning involved, but nothing happened. Nothing happened! Nothing happened.

Um... Busy writing story from HiM... so Lois hasn't yet had time to stretch those muscles. You'll just have to read on.

My bad! I thought you'd read that one already. Sorry.

He might make a reappearance later in the future when nobody is expecting him.

He's been reading too much Twilight FanFiction?

MARTHA:

CLARK: Why are you mad? It was before I met you and it fell into the bounds of the "relationship closure loophole", right?

LOIS: Because if you cheat on one girlfriend, you might on another!

CLARK: Sooooo, that whole 'relationship closure loophole' doesn't exist in this dimension. Good to know. Good to know.

That kind of evilness shouldn't be applicable to a good Clark/Lois fanfic.

Oh, just awkwardness. Gotcha.

<<EW points to her college degree in Classics and to Lois's degree in non-scientific journalism and wonders why ER would think we would know better?>>

LOIS:

So, Clark should vary with Mayson and Cat and Linda? That would make his life with Lois more spicy?

Michael

Funny thing about that word "spicy", in my son's preschool it's a euphanism for "conflict" or "difficult negotions".

LOIS: So, in other words, YES!

Sorry, thought you were referring to the next book in the series.

I'm not sure where (or if) Arianna would fit into Alt-World, but from what I know about alt-Lois's character I'm going to say "no comment".

Can one sheepishly

Thanks, I'm currently working on my second (since starting this FDK responsing) cup of coffee. So, all wide awake.

That's one of the problems with liking a guy with a sugar phobia.

I didn't mention the title on purpose.

That would be quite a feat for an imaginary 700lbs gorilla, (I was thinking he might sit on Lois later on, causing her to suddenly become breathless?) so "no comment."

Really? And here I thought it was Lana would told Clark about said "loophole". Silly me.

But WE don't want CLARK to be evil! <<Hmmm. I wonder if there's a fic out there where Lois and Clark are evil, and Luthor is the good guy whom they kill off?>>

So, Clark can't plead equally as clueless and say "Hey, that's not why?" I guess I can add an "I bet those shutters are lead lined" to make it more denialable.

Michael

That's one of my favorite Buffy episodes! I'm blanking on JMS though. Yes, I forgot that cable TV also thinks in the same manner as the Brits. Thankfully LnC did not.

Well, better that he takes his time than rush through it, right?



I didn't meant this particular FDK thread, I meant in general. Speaking of which. Time to refill my cup.

Yes, but that only works if Lois is evil right back at him.

CLARK: So, I can't plead "lunkhead"?

J Michael Strazinsky (spl), main writer of Babylon 5.

Yes, PML and HiM could have been less family friendly that way.

Yes. Plus, it’s great he finds the time to consult on the TV series and write an episode a season. Do tons of conventions. Develop additional productions for HBO. And do a lot of other stuff unrelated to writing. He’s actually sometimes thought of the zen master of procrastination. Michael

Okay. Not on my watch list.

I meant season length wise. Hmmmm. I wonder if they had made TV-M PML... <<Thoughts wander to the dark side...>> So, you ever going to finish that fic?

So, is this just fanboy rambling, or a big hint I should let my parts age longer, and I shouldn't crank them out like a Harlequin Romance, and reduce my posting schedule to once a month?

Michael? Oh, my, he's passed out.

Oh, dear, is that John sicing on me?

Guys! Please, I was just joking.

Michael?

I have to say I am very glad this story posts multi-weekly. I like "Once Bitten" but waiting a whole week between installments is tough.

I just have to say again that the flow between parts is a lot better here in Wrong Clark than it was between episodes in canon.

While there might have been a thematic connection between PML and HiM, you could watch them in reverse order and very little if anything would change. I like how you have Lois actually bring up the previous events to justify her present actions.

Eventually? Meaning, I haven’t given up on the idea but the mind is currently not willing to do it.

Fanboy bitching.

Writing time for ER. And reading time for other fics! Michael

Actually, that was me whipping you to get back to work... so, in other words, shut up? Gotcha

Me and my big mouth.

Hey, nobody said you *had* to read my little epic that will never end. <<sniff>> If you have other, more important things to do <<sniff>> I completely understand. I mean, I do have other readers and my betas, who like my vignettes.
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You do know I'd miss you, right?

Okay, I'll keep posting for you.

Thanks. That's part of the fun. Trying to make things that felt stilted or rough in canon make sense and be smooth (in the illustrious words of S1 Jimmy). It's kind of why I re-wrote all of S4 in "Missing Lois".

Says the drug peddler while dangling fresh stuff in front of ER. You do realize that should I ever manage to catch up with reading *and* FDK, things will get Michael

Edit:

Let's see, you just posted FDK for 84, and I just posted #91, so you're only 7 (or 8 counting this Friday's posting) behind so....

Did I write that?... Um... er... I did mention this epic was nicknamed "The Soap Opera" right? My goal is to submit this story to the Archives in 2013. But there's always Book 3 to look forward to.

85 FDK had also been posted by that time. Hmm…Now I need to catch up on my reading. Didn’t finish a part today. Am still in the don’t-get-too-far-ahead mode. In theory, I could catch up with reading within a week and FDK within two weeks.

/waits for Lois to have a torrid affair with Cat only to find out that she’s her slightly older half-sister/

Huh, is that Labby generating a huge dust cloud over there…



Michael

So, you're saying we're living in reality not in theory? Where's the fun in that?

Hey, look, 92 is all ready to post.

Is that in running away or cleaning up space?

So, this means I actually do have to catch up before there’s a new pope?

You do realize I still need to finish 86-91 first, right?

Huh. Right. Cleaning. Should have thought of that. Why would Labby be scared of fitting another monster into her closet.

Michael

Hey! I just emptied that inbox. Thanks for refilling it for me.

Well, if you happen to have some free time between now and then, I wouldn't complain.

Yes. Also, I meant that your suggestion might have reminded me of the content for 92...

MRS GRANT: No, I didn't have relations with that handsome doctor in the coat closet, when I worked as a cocktail waitress all those years ago. I have no idea to what you're referring. That wasn't me. That was my twin sister.

Phew.

Michael

Feeling better now.

No, but I did.

I meant Cat's mother and Sam, but yours is funnier.

Ooooh! Does that mean that Cat is Lois’s older half sister?

Michael

Isn't that what you said in the beginning?

It is? /goes looking for some Ginko/
Michael