Wrong Place, Wrong Time, Wrong Clark TOC can be found Here

I promise you that I didn't write the Smallville arc so long and slow down my posting schedule, so that this part would post at Christmas, I was just lucky.

Also, for any of those of you who haven't read Jolly St. Clark , please let me know if you got lost at all during that last scene? It isn't a prerequisite for understanding this story arc (I hope), but it does explain how Lois knew where Superman would be that night. If it is confusing, I'll know to add in a few lines explaining the transition in more detail. An extra shout out to my beta for "Jolly St. Clark": Joan! Who knew it was a gift that would keep on giving?

Comments?

Yaaaay!!! Christmas part! This was one of my faves! Also, so close to some REALLY great parts in your near future that you do NOT want to miss, so don't fall behind

I'm wondering about the red and green crystals in that bracelet that Luther was trying to give Lois. Nice to see a glimpse of Jack. Leave it to Luther to do a lame version of Christmas.

Nice to see parts of your other Christmas story too! Maybe you'll give us a Christmas present and have Clark 'fess up to Lois??? One can hope.

Joan

*musing* Denny... Now where have I heard that name before?

So I guess Clark set them up with a good place to go if they didn't go here. It was pretty obvious that Clark had helped them get a leg up but I wonder how that happened. I know the Superman Foundation was in it's infancy at that point so I'm not even sure they would have had the connections to get him into a half-way house (which is what I would expect for a brother pairing, one of which is old enough to work in some jobs.)

Wouldn't that have been disapproval? It's not happy she didn't grab a chocolate strawberry.

That's nice Denny, but it's still kinda mean. I know it was with good intent but still.

A penitentiary for unwanted kids. Or at least I'm sure that's part of Luthor's mindset. It will make them stronger for it.

Hiding away the long-term storage foods to fill in the gaps that come from very little unfulfilling food.

Methinks that Linda King's in town. That's not going to be fun for Lois.

One of those things he's never had to deal with. Most of the people Jack had to talk to probably never did have a business card.

I agree and impact statements are a major part of charity life these days. You can't get away with throwing away food like that without rebounding on the charity itself. Then again we're talking about a Luthor charity. I am guessing that he could probably prop it up on his own with no support for others with no great difficulty.

She may have just found her angle. It's still a fluff piece, but the kind of fluff piece she'd do well on.

In other words, Barter.

I love that this was part of Lois to begin with, even when she didn't show it off in "Season's Greedings" much.

Christina, who has taken WAY too many courses in business management lately: Um, that only covers PART of the Maslow's hierarchy of needs. I'm sure you know that Luthor.

Luthor: Ah, but no one actually GIVES you the rest. You have to work for the rest yourself.

I know my voice for him isn't quite right but I still wanted to write him for a sec.

That's a HALLOWEEN tradition in our household, not a Christmas one. Halloween you bartered for your favorite pieces after going over your haul.



A chill's running down my spine. Methinks this is going to be problematic. I know the red K wasn't found until the next season but the green could be what is contained in that watch.

and
and
A vision from Season's Greedings I'm guessing. Going to see Clark's pet project I assume?

I'm guessing she's accepted the "orphaned as a child" story fully. I know she overhead the Kents suggester cover story but it didn't seem like she had fully believed (as in faith believe not logically believe) the story until this moment.

I'm not sure on that one. I do know that in one of the previous cycles she had figured out Clark=Superman but this time she hadn't yet figured that out. Unless this is one story that we never heard. I don't remember him dressing up as Santa in the canon universe.

So sweet until that end part. At least the rest of it helped mitigate this little bit of sad.

Is this Jack's brother Denny?

Much cheaper to bring in homeless children. They won't demand pay beyond the food.

Sounds like I was right. I guess conservation of detail still works in fanfic.

The type of place that Luthor would run.

But if the party is really good it will encorage donations which will lead to, oh wait, with Luthor, probably no inprovement.

This does sound like very poor planning on someone's part.

Linda King?

I think spying devices are more likely.

more rejection of Luthor.

Clark: I guess I like that. I am still jealous of Superman thogh.

Clark: Lois, he is lieing.

Lois: How can you tell.

Clark: His lips are moving.

Although sadly that is not what Lex hears.

Clark: He also seems a little too knowledgable about it.

And sleep together.

Lois: We didn't even arrive together. I brought Jimmy as my date.

This is totally true. Hmm, she did not even make the "arrived seperately claim".

How does Lex know this?

Lois: It was for my birthday. Some people really lavish their friends on their birthdays.

alarms are finally going off.

I guess technically they have not been on any dates since the Keth Awards, despite having slept together.

Lois: We did not sleep together.

Reader: You were sleeping, and you were in the same bed.

Lois: That is not what the phrase means.

Lois: Not when your work partner spends the nigth with you.

Now he thinks he is making headway. Of course Luthor does not know the meaning of the word no.

Nothing if she was on a date with Luthor.

She is starting to truly understand Clark.

At least she realizes this.

Clarkie bear has made his appearance.

Hopefully he does not have to find out.

The same way she knows his name is Chuck.

Good question. I am unsure on the matter myself.

He even borrowed Jonathan's suit like canon-Clark did (ok, in Virginia's own incarnation of canon, but there is no 1st season contradiction of that per se, so I will call it canon).

Lois: Who is this brunette?

Clark: You, of course.

Lois: Oh.

Clark: So did Lois think Santa was Superman, or is she just acting for Samantha's benefit, and knew it was me all along?

Thanks for the plug! Good luck on your exam!

Hmmm. *Was* it just a Christmas watch?

I figured I'd give Denny and Jack a good reason to be out on the street come canon's Foundling.

Leave it to Luthor to promote himself as the savior of Christmas?

LEX: But I *am*!

As I mentioned before, when I originally wrote "Jolly St. Clark" I wrote it for this story, but then switched it to canon dimension, because I wanted to contribute *something* for my Christmas challenge (write a S1 Christmas episode). But so much has changed in Wrong Clark since my earliest inklings of it last year at this time, that I couldn't add it into this story as it had been. I also wanted to give another reason why canon Lois might have decided to continue to date Luthor after his treatment of her and Metropolis during MoSB. If Lois hadn't had all these bad feelings about Lex (also been shot by him, or had him buy her as a escort at the Metro Club), would she have fallen for his smooth persuavive lines on why they should date?

I did give Clark a Christmas miracle, Lois's forgiveness. Perhaps I'll give him an extra gift in tomorrow night's part. The only Christmas gift I give you is another twist or turn on this roller coaster come Christmas Day.

Christina: Thanks for the long FDK.
The Foundling. Jack's little brother.

Um... No. Clark hasn't met Jack and Denny in this story. Actually, I wasn't going to include them due to leaving the Globe in Smallville.

Approval of the desserts being served. I'm not going to have Lois taking food from homeless kids, Bobby Bigmouth, maybe, but not homeless kids.

Well, she did take 5 from the plate, leaving none for Lois.

Let's train them to be minions from an early age.

And table scraps for his brother.



Actually, it was the shaking hands with him that he thought odd. He didn't know about the business card until she passed it to him in the handshake.

Well, they throw out the food after a big catered party, so he wouldn't think of it as being any different, since this "gift" was over and above their usual.

"Lex Luthor Plays Santa Only to Good Children" . I don't know. I think Lex could spin that as a positive.

Pretty much. That's how it is on the streets.

This Lois has more (repressed) life experience than S2 Lois.

Sounds like him. At least he got the bottom level covered, according to him.

Well, Lex was orphaned at age 10 like Clark. Where had *he* ended up to get where he is today?

Just because Red K wasn't found until Intergang looked for it in canon, doesn't mean that this Lex's minions haven't found it.

Nope, visions from my last year's S1 Christmas story "Jolly St. Clark." Clearly, I need to add more for those people who didn't read that story (or remember it a year later).

She *wants* to believe it now. Superman gave her an excuse when he said that from a certain point of view Clark's story was true. So, she believes most of what Clark tells her is true, only WHERE it took place (and with major details missing) is the lie.

Another flashback from "Jolly St. Clark." He mentinoned previously in his flashbacks to his earlier life that he used to stay on Campus at Kansas State and get a job as mall Santa before he started dating Lana. And after being included in the Lang family Christmas party, wished would have much rather have been back at the Mall as Santa than spend it with her family.

Thanks. It had to be bitter-sweet due to where Clark is at the moment. Don't worry, the night's not over yet.

John: Another 3 part FDK. Have I been forgiven for bringing Lex into Lois's Christmas, then?



In the Pilot, the White Orchid Ball was a fundraiser for this Luthor House for Homeless Children charity. I thought it might be fun to see what life was like at one of Luthor's charities.

Conservataion of detail? Is that where you bump into familiar characters out of time and place? Well, in "Soul Mates" Lois and Clark kept bumping into the same set of people, no matter which place they landed on the timeline. If they are MEANT to be in your life, or you in theirs, I guess the universe will make it so.



Also the "party" is for the kids, not the donors. It's about P.R., which is why he invited Lois, to give it a good spin for him.

Was it? Or was it misunderstanding what they saw in the dumpsters?

Could have been.

No, don't worry. He'll make more.

Pretty much.

Mrs. Cox doesn't like anyone to home in on her spot. She's jealous because Lex keeps paying Lois extra attention. Lois feels this animostity and mirrors it right back.

True.

Possibly.



After their third date (way back before he shot her), he kissed her and invited her to stay the night back at his place. She refused (i.e. challenge issued in Lex's mind), went back to her apartment and took long scalding hot shower to get the taste of him out of her mouth and to scrub herself clean of how he made her feel. What Lex saw on the video. Lois went home and took long hot shower after their date. Oooh-la-la. There are those that aren't so blind as will not see.

Yes.

I'm sure Ellen and Sam could make even those petty arguments personal.

"It's a Wrong Christmas"?

He strides into the room like a benevolient dictator.

Maybe she was just being facetious.

Because the number of children at an orphanage should be recorded somewhere publically, and can be double checked.

That, and he really doesn't care.



True. Clark's "lies" seem more believeable after Lex's misdirections.

Nope. It's just a watch. Okay, it MIGHT include a tracking device on it, but it might not. I think to be on the safe side, best to keep Clark AWAY from the watch.

- Response to John’s FDK – Cont.

I like these kind of games.

Possibly. Or maybe he doesn't really care HOW he spends time with Lois as long as he does.



LEX: Very funny, Kent, but I was trying to save Lois. Just not from Menken.

See, she doesn't only give Clark the ordinary man speech.

Hence the skin crawling.

LOIS: It was just that one time. Or was that the second time?

Doesn't need to.

LEX: Everything about Lois is upmost of importance to me. <<he has spies everywhere>>

LEX: I took you out for a really lavish lunch.

LOIS: Damn, Clark. I can't concentrate since he installed these anti-BS detectors.

CLARK: Yes, Reader, you are making my life sound much happier than it is.

Hmmmm. It seems as if John really liked that scene from a couple of parts ago. I hope he doesn't self-combust when PML starts in a part or two.

LEX: Of course, I do. When I say it, it means "Get away from me or you'll die an ugly death". When a woman says it to me, it means "I'm playing hard to get. Catch me if you can, and my screams will be of passion because I like it rough."

She's thinking, if she were able to sneak away to the "rest room" once or twice.

Nothing like an evening with Lex to make her want to give Clark the benefit of the doubt.

CLARK: Well, I've mentioned it once or twice.

LOIS: It could have been a lie. This is more hopeful optimism.

CLARK: You can be optismistic?

Better late than never, apparently.



Pretty much.

I haven't prepped 70, yet, but I believe Lois may answer this at some point.

Thank you.

CLARK: You're right. I shouldn't have thought "favorite brunette", instead "favorite person".

LOIS: Yes, that would have been much better.

It's also possible that she thought it was Clark and then when he disappeared up the chimney by just lying a finger beside his nose, she realized it wasn't Clark but Superman. But that might imply she might confuse the two men.

You're right! I was being greedy, wanting more. But...I've been really good this year.

Joan

Glad to hear it, Joan. I'll pass word to Super Santa that he needs to step up to the plate.

CLARK: What? Now?

Well, since Lois rejected Lex, you are forgiven.

It makes sense to me. I also think you went with the logical balance between Luthor's awfulness on the one hand, and the fact that even Luthor can't get away with too open outrages on the other. Although since he did kill a man, maybe he can.

I meant that general people and things that appear in a work of fiction matter, and totally extraneous things don't matter. I thought they went over-board with repeating characters in "Soul Mates" myself.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"> again for Lois rejecting Luthor.

quote:
Luthor is a Santa suit. This is just sick and wrong.


I dig it

This is the inverse of the odinary man speach. The ordinary man speach is "SM, I would love you the same even if you were an ordinary man." This is "Lex I would react differently to you if you were an ordinary man".

Clark: I will let Lex get this ordinanry man speach, I don't want to hear Lois tell me this, in or out of the suit.

Lois: I chose out of the suit, wait, no I did not say that, I am not implying I want to see you in less clothing.

Clark: The audience does not think "unclothered" when they see "Clark out of the suit".

Lois: Huh? Why?

Clark: Well, I could tell you, but then the EW would not have any more fun writing dialogue where we speak around each other.

Clark: Well, it depends how we define "sleep" and "together". However we have only once slept both of us in the same bed.

Lois: I do not have to answer to Lex for whether or not I am dating Clark. Why am I even telling him this much?

Reader: I know that. I am just pointing it out, hoping that Lois will take notice of it.

Lois: I am begining to wonder why Lex has been gathering so much information about me.

Reader: Will this Lois be properly creeped out by Lex having a facsimile of her apartment in ASU, or will we not get there?

Lois: Relative to your income, you have never done such. It means more coming from Clark because he has to work longer to afford the lunch.

Reader: Clark, I think you need to accept that it is happier than it is. Lois will trust you, now just tell her the truth already.

I was going to ask for clarification, but I decided I really did not want to understand.

I said a date with Luthor. He would not tolrate her leaving fotr an unreasonable amount of time.

Clark: she is giving me the benefit of the doubt.

Lois: Yes, otherwise I would have no hope you would ever tell me the truth. As it is I know I have to guide you to telling me the truth, but with enough nudging you probably will.

Lois: I still want the big bear. Wait, I did not say that out loud. None of you heard that. I like this Clarkie bear very much. Even if he does not produce warmth like the Clarkie, wait, I did not say that either. I like this very much.

On the other hand, since Santa was not wearing glasses, he couln't possibly be Clark, now could he?

Oh course now, there is no better time than the present. It would be a perfect Christmas, and a righting to all the wrongness Luthor has introduced into it.

LOL! Mrs. L!

No good? Perhaps this will be more to your liking:

Thanks.

And which man did Luthor kill again? <This sounds like a specific reference>

The only overboard they went was with Jimmy's "Soul Mate" who they never showed again after he asked her out on a date. <<Oh, no! Jimbo the serial killer! And we were all so worried about Tempus.>>

I'll let you decide if that was the straw or what happens next will be.

Well, Lois was marrying Lex, and Mrs. Cox was acting as if it didn't matter, because she and Lex would continue to be intimate. I think Lois had every right to hate her for flaunting this information into Lois's face. I'm surprised that she caved after getting Lex to say he'd fire her. <<Probably why Mrs. Cox turned on him in the end.>>

Well, she was only doing it to make Superman jealous.



You're right, but since he delegates the running of the Luthor House to others, who might not be so devious...

Anything to make a Reader happy. Well, within reason.

Hmmmm. I guess you're right. Although I meant with that comparison the implication (because here the Reader knows she's not saying that) that she'd be still love him if he were an ordinary man.

I don't know. Lois has a good point. Superman doesn't wear much under his super suit.

Hmmmm. Nope, I'm thinking it was the second time... <<searches story>> Back from when Allie died...

Yep, second time they spent the night together.

She's trying not to be rude.

Actually, she's wondering why Lex is so interested in *Clark's* activities

We'll have to see if Herb arrives before then or not, and what he says regarding Clark.

Yes, offering her lunch at the restaurant he owns isn't quite the same thing.

CLARK: But Herb could arrive at any moment and tell me it's time to go save Lois's True Clark. How is this happy?



That was her findings in "Jolly St. Clark".

You’ll have to read Part 70 to find out. <<I was going to mention it, then I remembered that this was the FDK for 69>>

That's the one.

Menken. I believe he is the only person Luthor is publicly known to have killed. Although, I guess Luthor only shot him in this universe, so maybe I am confused. Yes, w know Luthor was responsibile for instigating his death, but I guess publicly there is no evidence that the shooting caused the death, since it probably didn't, so I guess I was speaking a bit out of line, confussed by canon, and inprecsion and other such things.

Well, good point. It did not motive Lois to actually proactively investigate Luthor.

I guess it never really made sense to me why Lois would want to marry Luthor. He saying "I can't" at the altar was one of the few logical things in that regard she did. I am surprised the whole Mrs. Cox manner was not a bigger turn off to Lois. I guess there is a reason why there are stories in the archive where Lois ends her engagement to Luthor when she catches him with Mrs. Cox being much more than friendly.

Lois: Plus, I have to start somewhere. If the head claims that there are only as many children at the house as recieved presents, I will know he is lieing because Jack didn't. If he gives me any number greater than that of those who recieved presents, I have something to go with on their limited disbursement of presents. It might not be the whole story, but it is somewhere to start.

He Lois is not dating Luthor, she wants to be with Clark. OK, it could be better, but it could be a whole lot worse. We are about at canon, more or less. Lois and Clark have had more highs and lows, but they are roughly at the same spot.

Canon Clark: I like "Jolly St. Clark" better though, Lois kisses me.

Hmm, he might have a point. Still, they are pretty close to the same spot.

Lois: Superman? When did he come into this discussion? We were talking about Clark taking off his suit.

They slept together in the same bed back then, I forgot. I was mainly thinking of when Clark slept in the chair, sort of holding Lois sleeping in bed, the night Luthor shot her.

Hmm, maybe I will have to reread the whole story so I do not miscount the number of times they have slept together.

Lois: Oh, right, Luthor does have some influence in this city. Still, he is making it very hard not to be rude to him. He is not really heading my wishes at all.

Lois: When you put it that way, especially since it was during the time he does a private eat there anyway, so I don;t even cut into his potential profits by being there since there are none, Clark's date dinner seems to represent caring about me even more. Especially since he got me things he does not like eating, something Lex would never think to do.

I won't stop you. And you can tell me if it works, flow-wise, as an steady progression or if something feels off.

Nope, but I'm hoping most of Lex's smooth lines would have fooled canon Lois into dating him. <<still trying to find rational for that >>

Yep, Clark's gifts meant more... especially since Lex sent over the bouquet of red roses, before "replacing" them with other flowers.

I will tell you if the story flows once I get around to reading from the start. I think it will flow, but I will tell you if anything really doesn't.

What a nice holiday gift! Thanks.

Huh, what’s he doing here?

Very strange. What if one of those kids steals the reporter’s money?

Odder and odder.

Those go well with champagne, a Jacuzzi and a Clark in swim trunks.



Not even a pearl necklace?

Uuukay?

Let’s keep Clark away from those, shall we. Otherwise he might slobber all over Lois during the PML incident. And Lois would slobber right back. And…huh… What have we been taking about again?

That way, Clark will never warm to his mother in law.

Another Lex was much less tacky with a Kryptonite studded wedding band.


“I saw Mommy kissing Santa tonight”?

Nah, never.

That’s what her new steel-capped knee-protectors are for that Clark got her for Christmas.

Maybe if she had thrown up all over Lex?

He’s not paying enough?

You mean, it would be like when Ralph tried that thing with the slobber?

He had indeed.

Ooooh! Ooooh!

Oooooh! Ooooh!

After reading the FDK and rereading this bit, things finally click with Jolly St. Clark. At first I just thought she was going for memories form Season 2.



after too much

Then how are they going to learn how to be good all year. And to barter.



Actually, it’s only now that I get it that this was Jolly St. Clark as the lost S1 Christmas episode which Lois now remembered. Some biiig hint for this being the lost S1 ep would help ginormously in the archived version. I just don’t know how to do it.

Wouldn’t that make a great frontpage? /holds up both hands in a banner-headline-move/ “A Tale of Two X-mas” and below you get the side by side of the two Christmas events, show the staged one for what it really is. Or, even more fun, putting the Superman-one above the fold and the Luthor-one into a little blurb text on the bottom right corner below the fold and with a reference to page 7.

She wanted a Barbie instead of a ragdoll?

Michael

There is still more Chistmas stuff in the start of Part 70, you can't give up on Christmas smilies yet.

Michael: Thanks for all the Lex who?

LOIS: <Slurp> Huh?

That's only M-F, Sat and Sun, they avoid the "mystery meat" casserole, because that's where all the bodies disappear into.

LEX: <shrugs> Sometime we outsource for the govn't.

Oh, so solitary is another name for "recovery"?

Deep pockets.





LOIS: I still don't want an exclusive THAT badly.

LEX: Well, yes... I mean, I have no comment to make on those completely ungrounding accusations!

Yes, indeed. Was Denny wrong? Or was he right?

Those school loans had to be paid off somehow.

Less lights, more big red round balls.

No, this is a good Christmas memory.

That's the one.

No, no. That was his father Luthor and his great-grandfather Luthor's mentality. Luthor prefers his as labrats.

You thought he always bribed? Or used the reward system? <<Pst. These are children and shouldn't be held to the same standard as adult flunkies>>

Exactly!

Sounds about right.

There were green crystals too, though.

As if he ever does anyway.

LEX: First, she has to date me again.

"I saw Mommy fighting off Santa Clause, underneath the mistletoe last night..."



It's never good to throw up in a crowd of people; it ends up being contageous.

-- Response to Michael's FDK - Cont.

It's the jewelry, Lex. Not enough gold, rubies, and lapis.

LOIS: That's a good example.

Just because he wasn't alone in bed, didn't make it any less lonely. It wasn't as if his bedmate was there for conversational purposes.

I did make an author's note at the beginning of 68 about it.

Possibly. <<There's another reason Alt-Clark doesn't eat sweets>> But more likely, just him in a Santa suit.

Superman = unconditional love. Lex = not so much.

Well, I did put that note at the beginning of 68, which I could include in the Archived version (although they'd have to get pretty far in the story to get to it). Originally, I didn't include Lois's flashback from "Jolly St. Clark", but when the readers started to get all

But that isn't our Superman. That's only that comics / Reeve version.

Uh... er... um...

Hmmmm. Doesn't work if she doesn't call the bear Clarkie?

LOIS: THANK YOU! It's about time someone finally acknowledged this fact.

Oh, dear. Would Lois think Clark had been exchanging mistletoe kisses with Superman?

Um... Good examples?

Krypto! Just joking.

LEX: Sounds like my usual Christmas gift. I'm not understanding the analogy.

John's right. There's more to come.

Maybe he’s Lex’s son and ran away from his gilded cage?



Which is why the DP will fall to the brink of bankruptcy.



LEX: I *knew* she wasn’t at the Metro Club for a story!

And his facial expression really is just like Lex’s, isn’t it?


LEX: But then how will they learn to be productive members of the society?



Enough to make him weak and unable to fight off a pheromoned Mad Dog.

I just meant, he could have made it look less like drug-lord bling-bling and more like fancy emeralds and ruby inlays.

Wouldn’t that be a traumatic childhood memory to have.
Dr. CARLIN /hands over card and books architect for house remodeling/



(Lex and Mrs. Cox)



Michael

And Denny is only his half-brother. Ooooh. And Jack's in solitary? Is Mrs. Cox going to be punished tonight? Or rewarded for catching him and putting him back in his cage? I love this idea! Especially since Lex tries to kill Jack in the vault during Foundling. Michael! I'm trying not to be distracted from my story.

LEX: That sounds reasonable.

LOIS: What? It's Cat's fault for disappearing after the hostage situation. She brought in more revenue than I ever could.

LOIS: Don't be ridiculous, Lex. My school loans were paid off ages ago. Mama needs a new Jeep!

LEX: Grandpa!

Example?



It's still early yet.

Oh, lookie! There was more.

Better to become an unproductive member of society with.

Well, I currently have it so she's remembering something that flashed into her mind when she was writing up the article on the Luthor House. Perhaps I need to make that more clear. Or elaborate more.

Ooopps. I see. I thought you meant without the help of a time machine.

Just the same family, family.

Oops? Michael

LOIS: No, I'm saying that Cat's a bigger whore than I am.

No, but Lois felt like pulling the rug out from under Mr. Kent just for the fun of it.

Well, that explains things. Lex is from 1850.

So, tempted.... must resist D.E.... just and move on...

Naughty girl! No Superman for you tonight, young lady.

LOIS: He's *that* old?



Michael