Wrong Place, Wrong Time, Wrong Clark TOC can be found Here

My characters suggested this comedic interlude in their saga. They hope you don't mind that they got a bit distracted from the A-Plot, while they took a leisurely cruise down denial (pun on The Nile).

Comments?

I have mixed feelings about this whole fiction. Unless Clark can somehow merge with the Clark of this world in a way that merges the two universes, this can not have a happy ending. Either the Clark of this world really stays dead which would be very sad, and the Clark we now love gets Lois or he loses everything for her happiness. I just don't want him to end up miserable. But he is building a love relationship with this Lois. 6 months is more then enough time to fall in love.

I can't believe Clark hasn't spilled the beans yet under all that temptation.

Joan

So he's watching the video Cat gave him. I wonder what it is, excatly.

Lois: Does something have to be wrong for me to come to your place?

Lois: Readers, remember this is just a cover to my true goal, investigation Clark.

PR: Anything you say Lois.

Lois: I am not scared. Not at all. I just want to advance my investigation, and this was the perfect cover. That is all that is going on.

Clark: You would be welcome if no one had threatened you at all.

PR: True her with your secret.

Clark: What's the point, I will be leaving in about two months.

Lois: If I admit Tevino called, I will look too much like a wimp.

I think he would be better off just admitting what he is doing. It just looks suspicious to deny it.

PR: Wis move Clark, Lois would find out anyway.

Lois is not going to give up until he shows her what he is doing.

she used his full name.

PR: I said this was a bad idea.

He is going to have to tell her all about it.

Well, at least he has made the wise decision now. He should have just told her what he was doing at the start.

I figured that was Lois' first assumption.

I was more thinking she was subconsciously trying to send him a message that she wanted an Italian man.

Lois: That thought never crossed my mind. I in no way contemplated it, not at all.

Just kiss the girl Clark, she will be OK with it.

Clark: If it is hands on education.

Lois: What?

Clark: I mean, that sounds good to me.

Clark: Not the things my mind is on right now.

I don;t think he will make it through two months.

At first I thought this was an "awkward apart pose" but since their knees meet, it isn't that.

You write such fun Lois/Clark interaction dialogues.

Well, this is not really a lie. It is teasing misdirection. He does not really want anything but her to realize he likes her in all possible ways.

This is extremely thin ice there Clark.

He actually got her to agree with him.

It would also make her argument be total jibberish.

This is technically true, although some were said in a tone where her believing them was not at all expected.

He has not told her he was at one point engaged for one thing.

I guess I understand why Clark is doing this, but I still wish he would flirt with Lois more.

She likes being with Clark.

Clark: No, I prefer not to have Lois go balistic on me. Plus, she might accept, and I really cannot sleep with him in good conscious, not when her Clark will be back soon. No, better not tempt fate.

Clark: Asking her to bed would just be all wrong. No, I am not going to do it. Even if I thought I could stay here I would not do it. It would be taking advantage of Lois, and more likely cause her to run away than anything else. It is not a good idea. We have not even kissed in months.

Clark: Lois, you like being in charge. I am letting you be in control.

I believe that should be "an ever-growing".

I love it when Lois protests too much.

This is a good question, although the answer is, most of what he says is truth, even when said in jest.

she is touching Clark.

Because Lois does not tell him how wonderful he is enough.

I was hoping this was his plan.

Lois: This is going to put a major crimp in my snooping plans.

Clark: So do you want us to sleep together, I mean just sleep in the same place, I did not mean anything else by that suggestion. Not at all.

Lois: Than hold me.

Clark:OK.

Lois: Clark, you didn't hear anything. I did not say anything outloud.

Lois: Are you deaf, I said I didn't want to be alone.

He is holding her. We are getting more of that than in canon, although since in canon they skipped most of the night, and Clark did hold Lois right when she arrived, maybe there was as much holding and we just did not see it.

NR: In canon Clark put his lips to Lois' in this episode.

PR: To give her mouth-to-mouth resciciation. It was not a kiss.

canon Clark: It felt like a kiss to me.

canon Lois: I do not clearly remember it. It did not count as a kiss. Let's try it again Clark.

Lois is doing an awful lot of protesting in this section.

I was hoping this would not happen.



Clark: See offering to share the bed was not a good idea.

Clark: That would be nice. I mean, ah, it is OK by me, I won't be here, so it does not matter to me. That is all I meant, really.

Oh, so that was her plan. In an apartment with a half-wall between the living room and the bedroom.

I was hoping he kept the supersuits in that drawer. OK, so I knew he didn't, but it would have been really fun if he did and she found them.

she touched him again.

Clark you are not the only one who thinks there are double meanings.

She really does want to make sure he still likes her.

Lois: I like it when you look at my legs Clark. What, no, I did not say that.

Clark, are you sure you will be able to leave this universe when you figure out a way to bring Clark back.

How could he ever go back to a loisless world?

I am surprised he has not gone and kissed her. Clark is a stronger man than many.

he is there for her in reality as well as in her dream.

Well, no, and maybe Clark should suspect that it is more.

Clark: Why would the right Clark not have protected Lois as well as me?

They are going to sleep together.

Lois: Not the way I wa... I mean not the way people normally mean when they use that phrase.

I guess this makes sense. It is not like she would believe that this memory is really real if he told her, and she might get scared if he started believing.

"...Adult video?"

So no Marilyn Monroe in his universe I guess?

Waggles eyebrows. I'd say it is sweet torture but considering he thinks he'll never have that opportunity then it's probably more along the lines of terrible torture.

Fun, loving and intelligent.

Missing his kisses, Lois?

Lois: *muttering* No comment.

I can just imagine Lois beginning to physically melt into a sigh on this.

I can just imagine Clark breathing in her scent and memorizing it in an attempt to hold onto every possible memory available to him. Love that Lois is relaxing into him too...

...aaand she burst that bubble.

*choking on a laugh* I can just imagine Clark imagining just that. Beet. Red.

Ah, that irritable soulmate bond going "mine, mine MINE!"

Oh the poor souls calling out for each other but no longer allowing themselves to match up. You've really really got me wondering whether they are denying themselves for naught or if Wells will legitimately figure out a way for Canon Clark to be saved.

Laura: I'm glad I haven't scared you off. Thanks for sticking with me and my story. I can reassure you that Lois and Clark are both married satisfactorially (to a Clark and a Lois) by the end of the story, but I cannot be more clear on which one they will each end up with. Hold on! Another twist coming up.

Joan: Let's just say his resistance is weakening. Thanks for reading.

John: Thanks for the indepth FDK.
That's exactly what I wanted you to be thinking at this point.

CLARK: Um... yes. After you practically pushed me out of the newsroom earlier.





Pretty much.

And, frankly, she doesn't want to think about it too much.

He was embarrassed, and it was a naturral response. Unfortunately, he's used up with 'white lie' points with Lois.

Not worth the fight.

CLARK: Geez, aren't I allowed *any* secrets anymore?

LOIS:

CLARK: Guess not.

It wasn't that important.

CAT: I watch other types of movies.

It possibly crossed her mind once.

Her feelings about him aren't what's stopping him.

Hands on education about Marilyn?


Slightly awkward.

Didn't he?

Thank you.

It's very hard to say the right thing when you have a crush and you don't think the other person recipercates. Especially, when he believes she belongs to someone else.

He did mention he preferred mad Lois to flirting Lois.

Semi-canon from 'Foundling'.

Probably.

LOIS: Sory. Nope. I'm not going to accept "technically true", I want bald faced truth!

Hence "for the most part".

LOIS: So would I. I mean, we're just friends.

LOIS: Well, being with Clark is better than being alone. I mean...

They haven't kissed in months. There was no reason for him to ask her to sleep with him.

LOIS: Still, it would have been nice to be asked. What am I saying? No, it wouldn't. I mean... I want him to want me, but I want to also tell him no.

CLARK: Good thing I didn't ask.

She might like being in charge with Clark, but she likes being swept off her feet by Superman, and romances (where that's more than often the norm).

Thanks.

LOIS: I didn't say any of that outloud, did I? Phew.

LOIS: I just want a straight answer.

CLARK: You wouldn't believe it.

LOIS:

And he doesn't have parents who tell him all the time. He's still working on that self-esteem.

LOIS: I *think* it. Doesn't that count for something?

You can take Clark from another dimension, but he'll still be Clark.

- Response to John’s FDK – Cont.

LOIS: Tripping over your tongue a bit there, Clark?

He IS holding her.

CLARK: But I need some fresh air, maybe a dip in some Arctic waters, do a quick patrol, I could swing by your apartment on the way back.

LOIS: What?

CLARK: Fine, I'll stay. Mind if I take a cold shower?

LOIS: Can I join you?

CLARK:



In other words, if she sleeps naked, there will be a Clark sized hole in the wall?

Well, techinically, it was the plan that was formed while she was speaking. Darn, leap before she thinks attitude.
He keeps them in a secret compartment behind his armoire. So, the cabinet needs to be pulled out for anyone to find them.

CLARK: What? The Readers think so too?

Well, he hasn't acted on his liking her in months.

CLARK: The problem isn't the looking, but what the looking makes me want to do.



Because it's the right thing to do? <<ducking>>

Just the knowing makes him happy at the moment. Plus, her admitting it to herself, and her admitting it to him, two very different things.

Plan: Go back to my 5 Point Plan. <<ducking>>

Darn eidetic memory.

Yep.

How she was feeling in the moment (in the dream).

Actually this dream sequence was taken pretty much vertabim from "Another Lois", but she wakes up and she's alone, no Clark. This time, he's there.

Good question.

CANON CLARK: Differently. Not worse.

ALT-CLARK: Yeah, buddy. You keep telling yourself that.

Yes, well, she's going to sleep.

Telling her that she might have known him, only not him, in a previous telling of her life might get him a one-way ticket to Luthor House for the Mentally Insane.

Christina: Hi, there!



Back when Clark went to Cat's apartment the first time, he found a biography on the actress and didn't recognize her name, so he sped read the book.

Sweet in as its real, not imaginary, and live, not memory. The terrible torture would come when he recalls this evening in the future and realizes he should have kissed her and didn't.

Isn't that Lois?

For the record I was sure it was not a pornographic film. Cat knows that Clark would not stay her friend if she tried schenanigans like that.

Lois: Just because I don't want you hovering like a bodygaurd on my walk home does not mean I don't want to see you.

Clark: With Lois filling the title role.

Clark: Well, I am not the right man for her. I will just be her friend, at least while I have no hope.


Clark: I'm not telepathic. It only works when you say it, outlouad.

Sometimes it is better to not show what is going on, and jsut leave it to the imagination.

We can even infer kisses between Lois and Clark in PML from unshown scenes.




Clark: What? No. I am sleeping out here in the living room. Thus I will not be "there" in the bed. In the bedroom either. So her being naked is not affecting me.

Lois: Well, that won't be all bad. Wait, no, what did I say. Clark, I did not say anything at all. You did not hear me speak, I did not say anything. Not at all.

There is a reason why I waited a long time to read "Another Lois", reading lots of "Wrong Clark" before I gave up during the Smallville arc to make sure I was not missing anything important.

CANON CLARK: Well, Lois and I had never been on a date. I did not feel like pushing her to let me stay overnight, and she was mad at me for pushing her to the ground in what she thought was over-reaction to the motorcycle backfiring. Anyway, I mad it in there really fast and saved her from Mr. Make-up, so I was there for her, just not as close as maybe she would have liked.

Clark: I can't trust myself to sleep, holding Lois who is just wearing my shirt, and no shorts. No I have to stay awake, if I fall asleep something awkward might happen.

Probably not if he also tells her he is Superman and from another dimension. However that would be a lot to tell her at any point, and when she just woke up from a nightmare is probably not a good time, even if he felt there was any point in telling her.

Hopefully since he knowns the truth he can point her away from her thinking herself crazy.

On the other hand the very fact that Superman exists makes her dreams about him and Clark not seem so crazy. In "Another Lois" people treated the stories of Superman as total craziness and her attraction to Clark as a sign of mental illness. Here, even if she tells someone her dreams in full, they will at least consider them within the range of believability.

CAT: Thank you for thinking of me as being a better friend than that.

EW: I don't know. I could see Cat giving it to him as a joke, but Clark not watching it after realizing (2 minutes in) what kind of movie it was. It would be the kind of thing they would both laugh about later... much, much later.

CLARK: So, I can walk you home as long as you're blind?

CAT: What are you talking about, Clark? She IS blind.
LOIS: You want me to play patty-cake?*

Piggy the Snake - from Gentlemen Prefer Blondes Watch the "clip" from the IMDb site to know what I'm referring to.

<<which is spoofed in "Who Framed Roger Rabbit?" by Jessica Rabbit playing patty-cake with a someone and it being photographed to frame Roger Rabbit>> /I couldn't find a clip of that scene/

Oh, Clark, *any* man can sweep a woman off her feet. He doesn't need super strength.

LOIS: It's more implied than said.

CLARK: Still doesn't count.

LOIS: Well, *you're* an investigative reporter! Figure it out!

You think they actually kissed? Is that why Clark is looking so sheepish when Lois is "humilated" after the night of the 7 veils?

Knowing about it might.

CLARK:

You really do like the over-protesting, don't you?

It's not necessary to read "Another Lois" but more stuff will pass you by if you don't.

Canon LOIS: Nah, I didn't mind being choked until I passed out, Clark. :rolleyes:

Floating?



He doesn't know either way, so best not to suggest it.

Not any more real than your or my dreams / nightmares, unless she tells them that she sometimes has pyschic visions / feelings / dreams, then MAYBE.

Actually, I would not be surprised if he gave in that much at some point. However, actually I was more thinking of when Lois drags Clark below screen level at the end of the scenes from the first day.

Well, until Lois and Clark start actually admitting to each other how they feel, yes.

Interestingly enough, the biggest issue that I was trying to learn about was not really addressed, so it didn't help me understand that. Although I guess I then realized that I was not missing any key information on that issue.

Canon Clark: OK, you have a point. I am sorry about that.

Canon Lois: Just don't let it happen again. Not that I normally need your protection. I will be fine. Mr. Makeups in jail. You go home, and don't let me catch you hanging outside the planet building when I leave.

Clark: I was more thinking of subconscious hand drifting while asleep, but floating probably would be bad too.

I don't recall that happening. She pulls him around by his tie, he notices that Perry is "drunk on love too", they end up in the conference room with Lois still attacking him, he sees Cat in the copier room, and then Lois drags him off by his tie. My guess, he never succombed.

They've admitted it! Oh, to EACH other. Well, where's the fun in that? There's no UST in that.

Now, you've got me curious what the "big issue" is that wasn't addressed was. Have I missed something?

Canon CLARK: Okay, I won't let any more strangers choke you. Is it okay if Superman freezes you to death to save my folks?

Canon LOIS: Next!

Oh, yes, that would be dangerous as well, for a completely different reason.

The Superman freesing Lois was entriely Lois' idea, she did not tell Clark what she had in mind at all, she just asked him to get Superman. In fact Superman tried to talk her out of that crazy scheme.

Detail schmetails.

Oh, this déjà-vu is going to be fun during PML

That came up before, didn’t it?

So, you’re saying that someone born in a penal colony would not be used to lying and slitting people’s throats but instead should be aware that it’s not okay to do so? Or a Lois raised in a Kryptonian harem wouldn’t be expected to be a sexually adventurous person who’s main goal in life would be to please First Lord of Krypton Kal-El in every way he could imagine?

She thinks that’s a safe bet, huh?



Umm…

Right. :rolleyes:

Sex?

/points at bullet-hole-shaped scar on her biceps.

Umm…

Have Clark stay between the door and the bedroom?

He went to a perfume shop the other day and got a new aftershave for use when he goes undercover at the homeless shelter?



Yeah. Didn’t she get the memo? Gentlemen prefer Blondes.

Right. Completely forgot about that angle. My bad.

/recommends checking out Dandello’s The Moaning After over yonder/

Michael

Michael: Michael's back! RL didn't eat him alive! <<or something not so obviously excited>>

Don't worry. It's different. Lex catches Miranda before she sprays anyone and turns her over the authorities. So thrilled by his about-face change of personality, Lois begs to date Lex, but he's decided to become a Hari Krishna instead. Clark, so depressed by this development, steals a vile of 100% Revenge from police evidence and accidently sprays Cat instead of Lois. He is never heard from again; although, Cat still sends Christmas cards to the Daily Planet of them and their 14 kids. Oh, dear, did that have too many spoilers?

LOIS: This sounds like a doable plan. What do you guys think?

CLARK:

True CLARK:

Possibly.

Or vice versa.

CAT: Oh, dear, did I put the right movie in that box?

Fine! Ruin the ending for me.

Hmmmm. Lois? What's in that envelope you're sending annoymously to Clark?

LOIS: Oh, nothing.



CLARK: No, not what I meant at all. I meant that angry sexy-kitten Lois is much easier to be "just friends" with, because her willpower is her super ability.

Huh?

With his track record?

Good thing Clark didn't test that theory by taking a hot shower and leaving the bathroom door, not only unlocked, but wide open. Oh, wait, the night's not over yet.

-- Hey, look, MORE from Michael -- Huh?



No, Ralph. <<ducking>> Jimbo? Right! Superman.

Yeah, that sounds like it wouldn't lead to prision / asyalm over in Gotham City where all of Batman's enemies live. Oh, wait, not Batman in Alt-World.

But that wouldn't be living, now would it?

Now now, Lois, before you get all angry with them, for not jumping in with all appendages, think about how you would feel if Clark had multiple Loises. Right, Loises die too easily for there ever to be a surplus of Loises around.

CLARK:

LOIS: Sex-kitten?
ER: And Clark’s her Kryptonite

LOIS:

True. But what’s the forfeit if she does keep up?

Hey!



/points at surplus of Clarks/

Michael

Oh, dear. You do realize I was joking, right?

Interesting smilie interpretation there.

CLARK: No, that's NOT what that raspberry meant!

CLARK: Now, wait a cotton-picking minute. I'm only "sad" but her True Clark is balling his eyes out? I don't think so, bub! I'd be much more distraught <<so distraught I might be in a Mouserocks story by that name>> being that I've already lost ONE Lois to death, and another to marriage to another guy, just like him!

TRUE CLARK: Really? You think this is a competition?

LOIS: Hello? Guys! I'm not dead! I'm still standing right here, being ignored over which of you would grieving me more. Plu-eese. <<pulls out mobile phone>> Hello, Lex? Yes, I will have drinks with you.

Both CLARKs:

CLARK:

Really need to read that. It's on my to-do list.

Musicals?



Okay, my bad. Point to you.

Michael

You didn't think I'd actually do that, did you?

CLARK: No! That's the other guy. <<points at canon Clark>> I'm more of a realist.

LOIS: Spoiled? Spoiled? What does that mean? I'm not spoiled? Or do you mean like garbage?!

TRUE CLARK: Shall I take care of him, or do you...?

CLARK: Nah, go right ahead. Remember to remind him of the Golden Rule. <<EW Note: that would be "do onto others, as you'd like them to do onto you".>>

TRUE CLARK: I'll do that.

I'm currently procrastinating on writing 85, that's like 20 more parts than this one. That's not enough for you?

Um... No. If you replaced Cat's picture here...

CAT: Hey!

And put in Lois's picture instead...

LOIS: Hey! Oh, wait, I look good. This is for Superman? Okay.

CAT: HEY!

Because they have Clark cooties, not Cat cooties.

CLARK: Um... Yes? I mean, I'm here to fulfill my fantasy, like on Fantisy Island, right? So, I'd like the real thing, please.

Michael

LOIS: EX-cuse me! I shower plenty, if you must know. I spend LOTS and LOTS of time in the shower. I'm cleaner than I've been since visiting that Met. Sew. Rec. Fac.!

Well, since Tempus killed True Clark, and if True Clark was to do Tempus what Tempus had done to him...

TEMPUS: <<looks at watch>> Look at the time! I've got a interdimensional time machine to catch.

Actually my cushion is at 7 parts at the moment, only 20-ish for those readers who haven't caught up yet.

CAT: That makes sense. I could see Lois doing that. My body is worth stealing.

LOIS: I most certainly DID not! If Superman... we are talking about Superman, here, not Clark, right?... is going to fantasize about me, it's going to be with ALL of me!

CAT: So, you want ALL of Metropolis to see your scantally clad body on a billboard?

LOIS: Uh... er... um....

CAT: I thought not.

LOIS: I'm never going to win, am I?

CLARK: I can attest to that. I mean, she doesn’t smell bad. Umm…she keeps all crevices clean? Err… Michael

LOIS: You BETTER go into hiding, bub! How exactly do you know that I've been taking several showers a day?

But didn't he ask for it?

LOIS: <<This is just my assumption if Lois doesn't get to win by the end of this epic>>

CLARK:
ER:

And since when do you give a bad guy what he wants? For all you know, he could be possessed by some alien that requires the host’s body to be killed in an excruciatingly painful and violent way to complete its maturation cycle and break free so it can take over the planet.

Yes, I can see how that would be awkward for EW.

Michael

I know the correct answer is "never", but come on! The guy deserves it. How about if Clark accidently kills him and then is all:

I always knew Tempus was evil.

No no, I think he just wants to play.

Michael