Wrong Place, Wrong Time, Wrong Clark TOC can be found Here

My hubby's a chef at a fancy restaurant (yes, I know, I live the hard life) and the guys made this for us the last time we came for dinner. The kids loved it! I figured this was the kind of dessert that Clark would use to impress Lois for her birthday. It's quite an impressive show - live. Here are those links again:

Liquid Nitrogen Ice Cream - Long Version (19:19) - More safety precautions.

Liquid Nitrogen Ice Cream - Medium version (4:18)

Liquid Nitrogen Gelato - Short Version (1:19)

See how deftly I distracted you from the fact that Clark not only broke down sobbing in tears (back at Lois's apartment), but also ran from the table to throw up, during his date with Lois. Well, he knows how to make a first date memorable, doesn't he?

Next up: Lois's POV of these events.

Oh, right, feel free to comment how much you'd like Clark to take *you* out for your next birthday.

He is an "Almost (canon) Clark."

Lois: Oooh, he's handsome. He's gorgeous. I can't help finding him perfect now.

Even without the fact that he's from a different universe entirely (hence him avoiding talking about his past) this is true.

Then again, if I'm not mistaken I'm fairly certain that part's canon.

Go Martha! Honestly, my hubby was the one who helped me learn to cook. I could bake (cookies, cakes, etc.) but for some reason never learned to cook much.

There's a lot of information in that one snippet. His father worked with his hands and his mother wanted him to know his way around a kitchen.

It is when you're a foundling and they don't actually know when you were born.



Awww...

Clark certainly knows how to please Lois. *snerk* Sorry, as soon as I wrote that I realized the second meaning of that. *opens up her head and pours bleach over it.*

It's fruit, Clark! It doesn't have any added sugar. Take it! Eat it!

Oh the temptress. How sweet she is.

At first I was going, *rwar* (in a good way) and then... oh no. Not a rescue!

So he's having a psychosomatic reaction to the sugar. Oh poor Clark. *hugs Alt-Clark*

*waggles eyebrows* Something tells me that Clark would be in too much of a doghouse for not telling her though.

Threaten to pull back on a kiss....

Huh? When would he been told that?

Aaaaaand Luthor's trying to make good with her. *eyeroll*


Enjoyed it, can't wait to read more!

I was surprised it was Clark, and you did not throw in some complication.

Well, Cat seems to be a good friend. She has helped Clark impress Lois.

At this rate the story may need to be renamed.

He should have checked on this being the same in both universes.

I guess he is up on things and she is not. I did not know it was possible to forget your own birthday.

He seems to have found a way to at least make it appear he did not listen in.

Is this where he decides to shift it from a date to a birthday get-together, or is that only later on to cover for his rushing?

I am surprised she is this daring, what with all her premonitions of late.

Does that really work?

What? Lois not demanding to open it right now? Has she been replaced by a clone?

He is really opening up.

If he was to lie to her face he would make up something believable, not something that obviously won't work.

Well, this is not precisely true, but does Clark know what really happened?

He has told her a lot more than she knew before.

I don't buy this explanation. He acted like it was a real date. He told her it was a real date. If he wanted her to think it was just a birthday celebration he should have mentioned her birthday, otherwise her remembering it would be irrelevant, since the issue was only did he know it was her birthday, and if he said nothing she was safe in assuming he did not know.

She has a very good point.


I am surprised she did not commit to memory his license number and check to see if such really existed.

Oh, NO! Roses! From Luthor no doubt.

I think it was primarily Lana who told him to get over his sweats aversion. This has to be one of the most negative versions of Lana possible. Although, they really did not leave much room for a positive version of her in the show.

I was hoping the flowers were not from Clark. I doubt it. He learned what was up with the roses, so probably has almost as much of an aversion as does Lois. Plus, it just does not seem to be his style. He believes in being there for Lois, not just giving her things.

Anyway, red roses seem a bit much. White or yellow maybe, but not red yet. That is going a little too fast, even without the negative associations with Ms. Taylor's illegal business.

Lastly, I figure that if Clark wanted to give her flowers, he would do so in person, not send them by delivery.

You know, this totally sounds like something Lois would do.

Ooooh! She’s an entire year (or more) early!

Oh dear. Settling is never a good idea.

Although, it might be fun together with Clark?

/imagines Lois sighing and restocking the cameras in her bedroom/

Because he now thinks that Lois is a very … unrelaxed woman?

Not directly. But it was made from the bones of the limbs Doc replaced with artificial ones.



Hippies. They don’t live by Western calendars.

Huh.

Duh! Doesn’t mean he’ll eat it.

/Clark files away sound sample for later reference during different kinds of satisfactory behavior/

Ooooooh!

Huh? This sounds like. Is someone having an accident?

Hey! She’s not even halfway done eating.

Okay, so it took me a moment to realize that it’s not because he’s actually spilling his beans and keeps spilling for days.

Michael

No, it's not up.

Christina: Approx. 36 hours and counting.

Love the fancy ice cream and desserts! Can Clark take me out?

I like the understanded way you handled the scene at Lois' apartment.

I have a feeling those roses are from Luther.

Joan

John: Wow, more long FDK. You guys are spoiling me. Keep it up.



He's only teasing her, trying to make jokes so that she forgives him for running off and throwing up after sucking on her fingers, which really embarrassed him. He's trying to save face. He never really thought it wasn't a date, but if it makes her feel more comfortable with it not being a date, since he's humilated himself, he's more than willing to try again. I didn't say it was a sucessful joke, but he's trying to get her mind off his problems with sweets. It's called distraction.

She usually does.

I don't know about driver's licenses in other states but in ours it's a mishmash of letters and numbers, probably not easily rememberable, plus he snatched it away before she could focus on it more.

2 Points. Lana. Actually, I just finished reading Female Hawk's The Accused and that Lana is pretty bad. And there's a scary Lana from an old fic (Shane Terry's The Family Hour ) where she had actually married Luthor. SHE was really scary. My Lana is more manipulative than evil. More on her coming up soon.

True on all accounts. Plus, at some point Clark says he'll never be able to look at Roses again the same way.

Am I the only person who doesn't associate flower colors with meaning? I would never have gotten uncomfortable with any guy (I was dating) giving me red roses, nor would I have assumes that they meant "love" as in actual LOVE. But, hey, that's just me. Flowers are nice, but not really a gift, IMO, more of a gesture. We even had kind of yellowish, peachy roses at my wedding. Does that mean my husband and I didn't love each other? We're only friends? Oh, dear.

Yes, kind of tacky, since they work together and he's sure to have seen her at the office to have them delivered. Much more romantic to hand deliver them. Unless, of course, he doesn't want the whole office to know about their date.

There was nothing from Lois about them having different backgrounds in "Lucky Leon". Lois does not even ask Clark about his growing up per se, she asks him about if he had any big fights with his parents. That leads to Clark making the remark that people are only fully open when they are passionate, like in fighting, and Lois then adds "or when they make love".

So, this date discussion was very different from the one in canon. Also, since they share chocolate in canon, it is very, very different.

I was remembering that in canon at the end of "The Prankster" or whatever they call that episode, Clark does send Lois some yellow roses, and not even sign the card. Of course, the only way to explain that is because it is more funny to have Lois freak out and wreck them. It is part of go with funny not logical.

While the "he does not want the whole office to know" might explain not giving them to her in person, not signing the card always just seemed odd.

I guess you are right your Lana is not half as evil as the one from "Accused", although I would say that Lana is more mentally unbalanced. Actually when she does show up in fan fiction, the canon universe Lana does seem worse than alt-universe Lana. Your fireworks story had a Lana who was cheating on Clark, which this alt-Lana has not been accused of.

Great part, Virginia!

Lois doesn't remembers that it's her birthday! So in character!

Clark as a little boy in the kitchen with Martha. So cute!

I love Martha and Jonathan!

CLARK: Of course! YOU love chocolate!

Poor Clark! I want to give him a hug!

Not Jerome?

Luthor? No, please!


Yes! Yes!

Wow, more FDK!

Michael: Sorry for the delay in responding, I needed to send 54 to Beta and start in on 55, and prep 45 for posting tonight. YIKES! My cushion is down to 10. Not good.

Well, being that she's going out with entirely the wrong man, I don't think it counts as early.

But canon Lois settled for Luthor and almost settled for Dan... Oh, THAT's what you meant.

CLARK: I may be the wrong Clark but that doesn't mean I don't like burgandy. I do, I'd like Lois is almost any color. Geez, I'd like her in nothing at all. Um... I didn't mean that like it sounded.

LOIS: You wouldn't like me naked? I'm getting a fairly good idea on your hesitancy now.

CLARK: No, of course, I'd love to see you naked... I'll prove it to you, get naked and...

LOIS: Uh-huh. <crosses arms> I don't think so. How about you get naked instead and I'll decide if I like what I see?

CLARK: Maybe we should just get back to the FDK.

LOIS: Spoil sport.

ELLEN: That my daughter has gone out drinking and went home with some man she wouldn't talk to if she had been sober.

Because Ellen is so kind to her daughter and never mentions her short-comings.

(only because the correct answer cannot be posted on these boards. BTW: 2 points)

CLARK: Um... thank you. No.

To show her sister?

Um... because those weren't really phone message type things to say.

No, real pearls.

The arrival of the package happens off page (I believe. It's been a while since I've read these next few parts.)

Poor Clark, and he was trying to do something nice so it didn't look like he had listened to the message.

Nope, this is different.

Good thing nobody likes a mad Lois.

ELLEN: Exactly!



Was there no leap year in 1900?

Well, I always thought alt-Martha and Jonathan looked a bit more hippish than canon M&J, but that might only because their photo was from the 1970s from before they were dead. Plus they were fore-runners in the Re-Earth (Organic) movement in Smallville, so yes.

I accidently hit "post" so, off to the next screen.

FDK Reply - Part 2

She thought he didn't like it, so he wouldn't encourage others to eat it either.

Compare it to the failed pasta night?

Chocolate is an aphrodesic.

LEX: That isn't what I offered her for dessert.

Stomach upset.

She lost her apetite when she realized her teasing made him bolt for the rest room.

Actually, he's kept so much from her it might take days, but no, he was referring to the fact that why would he tell her the truth if he got to stay with her in her apartment as punishment for NOT telling her.

Just joking.

He was only teasing her.



It's his real driver's license, but it's from alt-dimension.

What if he has a big nose and small feet?

CLARK: My feet aren't THAT big.

Um... he did.

More on Monique Kahn developement later on. BTW: Luthor's manor house isn't in Metropolis.

More on M&J coming up in a few parts. More on Clark's gift later. I've already addressed Lucy's gift above.

CLARK: Yeah, that's the perfect way to impress a girl. Refuse to leave on the first date.

Yep, Lana.

CLARK: I really need to search for those sphere-shaped sports equipment. I know I had two of them at one point and time.

Not important to the story, so possbily.

Coming tonight (or tomorrow, your time).

Joan: That sounded like a good dessert to me too. I love chocolate lava cake (I've even been known to lick the plate AT the restuarant. ), so I figured she needed something to go with the ice cream.

Do you mean before the date? Or afterwards? More on afterwards coming up.

Maybe from her Daddy in hiding? That's right. He'll get around to her birthday gift by Thanksgiving.

John: Thanks for double checking Lucky Leon for me. It had been a while since I read (the script) or watched the episode.

Well, she shared her raspberries.

Yep, that was the episode (or Return of the Prankster) I was thinking of per the Roses.

I agree.

Not yet.

CLARK: ooooh. Another hug! This FDK thread is the greastest!

CAT: <pout> I offer you hugs all the time.

CLARK: Yes, but you cop a feel each time you do.

CAT: <shrugs innocently>

He's joking, people! (Jester meaning jokester or comedian)

He's back!

CLARK: <checking schedule> So, I need to take Joan and Sydney out for their birthdays, and Lois, and probably Cat. I'm going to need a second job. Oh, wait, I still have a little gold left from when Herb brought me here.

Thanks! I didn't know. I never learned that word when I took English in high school.

I'll try to catch those earlier and place a note at the end of the story. My apologies.

CLARK: Anything to please the Readers.

LOIS: Oh, the "READERS" huh? *I* read your work. What have you done for ME lately?

CLARK: Um... er... oh, look at the time... I believe I need to... uh...

/hands Virginia emergency chocolate/

Michael

Thanks. Is this to make me feel better or to get my fingers to move faster?



CLARK: /appears sheepish/

CLARK: Go back to Gotham. She got it wrong.

Thankfully, I've forgotten more of that movie than what I remember.

LUCY: Ewww. Why would I want to watch a movie of my sister sleeping. That's creepy and boring.

Kind of like Meg Ryan's family in "Sleepless in Seattle"? Well, with her mother a nurse and her father a doctor, I'm not surprised. Hmmmm. I bet Lucy would make a great massage therapist.



CLARK: I'm okay with extra bursts of energy.

If he doesn't know without checking his notes, let's just say it's a 'no'.

LEX: Why, yes, that *is* what I offered. <<dramatic sigh>> but she says she doesn't eat dessert.

Or remind her of Ralph from Another Lois?

CLARK: There's my problem. I left them over in the other dimension.

Sorry, it was only a thought.

LEX: Anyway I can have her thank you. As long as Superman gets a copy of the video of her moaning my name afterward.

Oh. Right. Well, Clark can't do that now, without seeming to be copying Lex, now can he?



Martha and Jonathan have a sense of humor, but not THAT big.

Under the Gregorian calendar only years that are 100 years divisible by 400 are leap years. Thus 2000 was a leap year, but 1800 and 1900 were not. In the English colonies in North America 1700 was a leap year because they were still using the Julian Calendar, but in New Mexico it was not a leap year because they were using the Gregorian Calendar, being good Catholics and all.

Oh, dear, wouldn't that mean that the poor people of New Mexico are off by one day from the rest of us? How sad.

To take the edge of. And make you less sympathetic to Clark’s and Lois’s plights.

Seen it once. Lots of random details still stuck in the form of abstract notions.

She’d have Clark with her and would be breaking her own rules about approved activities.

Michael

You confuse me. Less sympathetic? Do you not want me to get them together? Are you of the ghost Clark camp?

LUCY: Nope, on the video she sent me, Lois was alone in her bed asleep. Why would I want to watch that?

Sorry, not in this story.

LEX: Well, there was a reason for the video surrvalience.

No. /gets more popcorn/

CLARK: Michael

Oh, so you want more loop-de-loops. Gotcha. Take your motion-sickness pills because I just prepped Part 47.

Speaking of which, I really should finish this story arc and move on to the next one... Back to work on part 57...

I love that comic. Adam keeps his suits in the same place as Clark. <face palm> At least he's got security installed.

CLARK: I don't keep videotapes, anyway. It's a rule in the manuel.

CLARK: I wonder how Lois knew about those videotapes.

Adam? Oh, you mean Mark. Also, the creator modeled LnC after LnC.

Michael

Sorry, I was running out the door when I wrote that.

Because he *never* floats out of the cape.

/appears unconvinced/

Michael

Oh, so you think that Lana broke him of the habit of floating while happy. Got it.

/rereads it all again/ Those were sarcasm asterisks, not *emphasis* asterisks? Oh my.

Michael

You *don't* emphasize sarcasim?

/refuses to comment/

Michael

Sorry, Michael, that was universal "you" not specific "you".

*G*

Michael

Clark is not alone in having an impossible Feb. 29th birthday. I recently came across a death certifiacte that gave the birth date of the person as Feb. 29, 1875.

I think you just want to say "a tall metal container."

I think you want to say "the chef".

Two things. Firs generally it would be Gotham City limits, you usually don't directly make it possessive. Also I think it should probably be "He lowered the paper" or "he set down the paper."

Interesting. Yep. Odd year, not a leap year. Hmmmm. I wonder if Tempus or Herb Wells was involved.

Thanks. Fixed.

I did. Thanks. Fixed.