FDK- Stranger in Our Midst Part 9 - 09/20/11 08:32 PM
Good chapter! The character interactions in this part were very interesting and well done- Clark and Lois was sweet. 
Re: FDK- Stranger in Our Midst Part 9 - 09/21/11 01:28 PM
Very interesting developments! Looking forward to where you take this. 
Just a couple of words I noticed which I think you might want to change:
I believe the word you want is "bravado" instead of "bravo".
I believe you need "worse" there.
Hope this is helpful and doesn't seem nitpicky to you.
Just a couple of words I noticed which I think you might want to change:
Quote
“Doing what any good reporter would do… saving my story! My bag… where’s my bag?” She tried walking into the living room searching for the item, than stumbled, all her previous bravo drained away.
Quote
Inwardly he sighed; thanking the heavens, she was now safe, the outcome could have been much, much worst .
Hope this is helpful and doesn't seem nitpicky to you.
Re: FDK- Stranger in Our Midst Part 9 - 09/21/11 06:35 PM
Pete's appearances are few and far between in this story. I am planning on using him a little more in another story.
That little scene was included into the story almost three months after the part was written. There was a decidedly lack of romance between Lois and Clark. This was the perfect place to inject some!
Yes! Perry was a better Father than Sam could ever hope to be. But in this story, Perry still gets to 'walk down the aisle' with someone...
Evelyn, so glad you picked up on those errors! I made the adjustments!
Thanks so much for the comments!
That little scene was included into the story almost three months after the part was written. There was a decidedly lack of romance between Lois and Clark. This was the perfect place to inject some!
Yes! Perry was a better Father than Sam could ever hope to be. But in this story, Perry still gets to 'walk down the aisle' with someone...
Evelyn, so glad you picked up on those errors! I made the adjustments!
Thanks so much for the comments!