FDK--The Green-Eyed Mad Dog (3/3) - 10/27/10 10:33 PM
I'd love to hear what you think. Thanks for reading.
Re: FDK--The Green-Eyed Mad Dog (3/3) - 10/27/10 11:26 PM
Loved it!! 
Oh, and btw, I love your tagline:
Where'd this quote come from?
Oh, and btw, I love your tagline:
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"Women frustrate men because they're too complicated. Men frustrate women because they're not complicated enough."
Re: FDK--The Green-Eyed Mad Dog (3/3) - 10/28/10 12:04 AM
WOW, QueenOfAces,
What a great ending to a perfect story. I've been waiting for it for a while.
I loved how jealous Lois was in this story. In my opinion, the show didn't really explore this emotion as much as they could have (and should have). In the show, it seemed that, with few exceptions, Clark was the one always trying to get Lois to pay attention to him, always him being the one thinking he's going to lose her for one reason or another. So I loved how you turned the table on her this time. Fantastic job!
I'm certainly waiting for an epilogue as well.
P.S. I agree with Mozartmaid. I also love your tagline. Every time I read it, I keep laughing and thinking how true it is. I also mentioned it to a roommate of mine, referencing you and this site.
What a great ending to a perfect story. I've been waiting for it for a while.
I loved how jealous Lois was in this story. In my opinion, the show didn't really explore this emotion as much as they could have (and should have). In the show, it seemed that, with few exceptions, Clark was the one always trying to get Lois to pay attention to him, always him being the one thinking he's going to lose her for one reason or another. So I loved how you turned the table on her this time. Fantastic job!
I'm certainly waiting for an epilogue as well.
P.S. I agree with Mozartmaid. I also love your tagline. Every time I read it, I keep laughing and thinking how true it is. I also mentioned it to a roommate of mine, referencing you and this site.
Re: FDK--The Green-Eyed Mad Dog (3/3) - 10/28/10 07:17 AM
Awwww sigh... happy endings. I love them. Laura
Re: FDK--The Green-Eyed Mad Dog (3/3) - 10/28/10 08:45 AM
Very sweet ending. I like how you brought it around to the "This isn't dancing" line at the end of the episode, only having Clark say it instead of Superman. Nice low drama revelation, too. 
And, of course, a nice romantic end to the story.
Though epilogues are always great, I'm not sure what you'd include in yours -- you wrapped it up very nicely at the end, and it doesn't feel like their reunion was incomplete. Unless ... maybe Mayson's reaction to L&C becoming a couple? (Always a favorite of mine.
) Beyond that, I'm not sure what else there is to add, but I'm betting you have an idea in mind or you wouldn't have mentioned it.
Oh, and as an aside, I caught one minor thing you did in your dialogue that the editor in me had to mention (especially since I did the exact same thing when I first started writing fanfic ):
I'm sure your GE would have caught this when you submit it to the Archive -- you will be submitting this, right?? -- but just so you know, you don't need a comma after ellipses in dialogue like this. It's double punctuation. Just leave the ellipses where they are and remove the commas.
Glad you stuck with the story and shared your efforts with us!
Kathy
I like how you brought it around to the "This isn't dancing" line at the end of the episode, only having Clark say it instead of Superman. Nice low drama revelation, too. And, of course, a nice romantic end to the story.Though epilogues are always great, I'm not sure what you'd include in yours -- you wrapped it up very nicely at the end, and it doesn't feel like their reunion was incomplete. Unless ... maybe Mayson's reaction to L&C becoming a couple? (Always a favorite of mine.
) Beyond that, I'm not sure what else there is to add, but I'm betting you have an idea in mind or you wouldn't have mentioned it. Oh, and as an aside, I caught one minor thing you did in your dialogue that the editor in me had to mention (especially since I did the exact same thing when I first started writing fanfic
):Quote
“Clark…,” she entreated him, shaking her head.
Glad you stuck with the story and shared your efforts with us!
Kathy
Re: FDK--The Green-Eyed Mad Dog (3/3) - 10/28/10 11:01 AM
Great part (and I love your tag line too!)
Also loved the whole "this isn't dancing part"!
Also loved the whole "this isn't dancing part"!
Re: FDK--The Green-Eyed Mad Dog (3/3) - 10/28/10 11:17 AM
Brava!
Ditto re: the "This isn't dancing" line.
I'm game for an epilogue.
Joy,
Lynn
Ditto re: the "This isn't dancing" line.
I'm game for an epilogue.
Joy,
Lynn
Re: FDK--The Green-Eyed Mad Dog (3/3) - 10/28/10 09:14 PM
I liked the bits when she was asking about all the times he loved her.
That was a great line!
Quote
She pressed her lips to his ear and whispered, “And when I was high on the pheromone?”
He closed his eyes, “God, yes.”
He closed his eyes, “God, yes.”
Re: FDK--The Green-Eyed Mad Dog (3/3) - 10/28/10 09:47 PM
I love the ending of this.
Favorite quote.. "This isn't dancing"
Favorite part... When she finally admits that she loves him.
Favorite quote.. "This isn't dancing"
Favorite part... When she finally admits that she loves him.
Re: FDK--The Green-Eyed Mad Dog (3/3) - 10/29/10 10:43 PM
Smooth!!! So glad you were able to finish your story. Enjoyed it very much. So romantic in part 3; lovely ending. 
Re: FDK--The Green-Eyed Mad Dog (3/3) - 10/30/10 08:49 PM
Wait a minute! Lois gets to curse him, kiss him and keep him. That aint fair.
Re: FDK--The Green-Eyed Mad Dog (3/3) - 10/31/10 09:03 PM
I'm sorry for the late reply to your feedback. I've been out of town for a family Halloween celebration.
Also, since it was mentioned in so many responses, I thought I'd give an explanation of my signature here. It's not really a quotation, but I thought it looked more interesting that way. Those statements actually came out of a conversation I had with my grad school boyfriend. We were talking about our general frustrations about the opposite sex, and that "quotation" is the result. I've been using it as my signature ever since. I'm glad to know that it resonates with people.
mozartmaid: Thanks so much for the feedback. I'm so glad that you enjoyed the ending. The line you mentioned was one of my favorite ideas, though I'm still not entirely happy with the phrasing. I'll get to writing that epilogue when I get a chance. Thanks again.
True Love: Sorry about the wait...glad to hear that it was worth it, at least! Sometimes the muse is cooperative...sometimes, not so much.
I agree with you about jealous Lois. Though they did explore the theme on several occasions (Cat, Toni Taylor, Linda King, Mayson Drake), Lois was always able to resolve it quickly. I wanted to explore the theme in more depth without giving Lois the opportunity to brush off her jealousy.
Thanks for the thoughtful feedback. I'll get to work on the epilogue when I get a chance.
Laurach: I'm a sucker for WAFFy endings as well. Glad to hear you enjoyed it.
KathyB: I learn something new every day. I'm not really new to the fanfic game, though. I've written several stories for other fandoms over the past few years, and I've also penned a couple of nfics on this board. My goal is always to improve, however, so I appreciate your constructive criticism.
I'm glad that the "This isn't dancing" reference seemed to work. I wanted to keep the basic framework of the episode, but explore it in a different way. I wasn't really interested in creating a whole lot of angst, but I hope that the low anxiety ending seemed true to the characters.
I know that the ending stands well on its own, but I got a fun little idea that will tie up some loose ends. Not sure when I'll have time to write this week...we'll see.
I've never tried to submit a story to the archives, but I'm assuming the process is not that hard. I definitely would like to have this one posted there one day, though.
Thanks for taking the time to leave feedback. I'm a big fan of your work, so I consider it an honor.
DW: I always loved that line, but I wanted Clark to say it, not Lois. I never understood why Clark didn't go to her apartment after the ball rather than Superman. So, I took the liberty of changing that little detail. Thanks for responding!
Lynn S. M.: Thanks for reading! I'll get to work on that epilogue as soon as I can.
IolantheAlias: Aw..I'm glad you picked out that part. It was one of my favorites in the story. Thanks so much for the feedback!
Plain Jane: I'm so glad that both of those choices seemed to work well. Thank you for all of the comments you have left on this story. I greatly appreciate it.
EvelynC: I'm glad I was able to finish it as well. I hate leaving stories up in the air. I was definitely attempting to create a romantic little story here, so I'm happy it worked. Thanks for the support and the comments.
SJH: Hey...some girls have all the luck!
Also, since it was mentioned in so many responses, I thought I'd give an explanation of my signature here. It's not really a quotation, but I thought it looked more interesting that way. Those statements actually came out of a conversation I had with my grad school boyfriend. We were talking about our general frustrations about the opposite sex, and that "quotation" is the result. I've been using it as my signature ever since. I'm glad to know that it resonates with people.
mozartmaid: Thanks so much for the feedback. I'm so glad that you enjoyed the ending. The line you mentioned was one of my favorite ideas, though I'm still not entirely happy with the phrasing. I'll get to writing that epilogue when I get a chance. Thanks again.
True Love: Sorry about the wait...glad to hear that it was worth it, at least! Sometimes the muse is cooperative...sometimes, not so much.
I agree with you about jealous Lois. Though they did explore the theme on several occasions (Cat, Toni Taylor, Linda King, Mayson Drake), Lois was always able to resolve it quickly. I wanted to explore the theme in more depth without giving Lois the opportunity to brush off her jealousy.
Thanks for the thoughtful feedback. I'll get to work on the epilogue when I get a chance.
Laurach: I'm a sucker for WAFFy endings as well. Glad to hear you enjoyed it.
KathyB: I learn something new every day. I'm not really new to the fanfic game, though. I've written several stories for other fandoms over the past few years, and I've also penned a couple of nfics on this board. My goal is always to improve, however, so I appreciate your constructive criticism.
I'm glad that the "This isn't dancing" reference seemed to work. I wanted to keep the basic framework of the episode, but explore it in a different way. I wasn't really interested in creating a whole lot of angst, but I hope that the low anxiety ending seemed true to the characters.
I know that the ending stands well on its own, but I got a fun little idea that will tie up some loose ends. Not sure when I'll have time to write this week...we'll see.
I've never tried to submit a story to the archives, but I'm assuming the process is not that hard. I definitely would like to have this one posted there one day, though.
Thanks for taking the time to leave feedback. I'm a big fan of your work, so I consider it an honor.
DW: I always loved that line, but I wanted Clark to say it, not Lois. I never understood why Clark didn't go to her apartment after the ball rather than Superman. So, I took the liberty of changing that little detail. Thanks for responding!
Lynn S. M.: Thanks for reading! I'll get to work on that epilogue as soon as I can.
IolantheAlias: Aw..I'm glad you picked out that part. It was one of my favorites in the story. Thanks so much for the feedback!
Plain Jane: I'm so glad that both of those choices seemed to work well. Thank you for all of the comments you have left on this story. I greatly appreciate it.
EvelynC: I'm glad I was able to finish it as well. I hate leaving stories up in the air. I was definitely attempting to create a romantic little story here, so I'm happy it worked. Thanks for the support and the comments.
SJH: Hey...some girls have all the luck!
Re: FDK--The Green-Eyed Mad Dog (3/3) - 11/01/10 07:22 AM
Huh, looks like I'm a tad late for the party 
Now that Mayson's exonerated even to Lois, she must feel really defeated. After all, as long as Mayson was a crook, all Lois had to do was to prove to Clark that Mayson's a bad apple. But now, all she can do is fight fair (or not so fair) or just accept the inevitable. Huh, suddenly I'm reminded of a certain visit to Centennial Park a view months earlier.
Huh, Clark's here? That's a new one. Wonder how things are going to play out.
Now, would you look at that
Research, huh...?
Hmm... 
Awwww
Sweet ending, befitting the rest of the story
Michael
Quote
“May I cut in?”
Mayson, she thought as her heart sank. Lois looked to Clark, hoping that he would send the blonde DA away.
With no such refusal forthcoming, Lois mustered her most gracious façade. “Of course not,” she replied, stepping out of the way. She would do what was best for Clark because she loved him.
Mayson, she thought as her heart sank. Lois looked to Clark, hoping that he would send the blonde DA away.
With no such refusal forthcoming, Lois mustered her most gracious façade. “Of course not,” she replied, stepping out of the way. She would do what was best for Clark because she loved him.
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“Just a minute,” she managed, scrubbing at her eyes to remove the evidence of her tears. “Clark,” she said in surprise. “What are you doing here? I thought…I mean….”
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She saw just a trace of some unidentified emotion cross his visage before he returned her smile in earnest. “This isn’t dancing,” he ventured.
“It’s not?” she asked, wondering where he was going with this conversation.
“No, this is dancing,” he told her, gravity disappearing at his command.
“It’s not?” she asked, wondering where he was going with this conversation.
“No, this is dancing,” he told her, gravity disappearing at his command.
Quote
“I see,” she managed, the implication making her a bit dizzy. “Is that your only secret?”
“No.”
“No?” she asked wide-eyed.
Seeming to sense her fear, he replied soothingly. “I have only lied to you intentionally about one thing, Lois, but there are some facets of my life that you don’t know about yet.”
“Like what?” she asked, her curiosity piqued.
“Oh, no,” he said, smiling as he warned her off. “You’re going to have to do a lot more research if you want to find out those details.”
“No.”
“No?” she asked wide-eyed.
Seeming to sense her fear, he replied soothingly. “I have only lied to you intentionally about one thing, Lois, but there are some facets of my life that you don’t know about yet.”
“Like what?” she asked, her curiosity piqued.
“Oh, no,” he said, smiling as he warned her off. “You’re going to have to do a lot more research if you want to find out those details.”
Quote
and I've also penned a couple of nfics on this board.
Quote
“I love you, Lois,” he told her earnestly.
“I love you, too, Clark. Always.”
“I love you, too, Clark. Always.”
Sweet ending, befitting the rest of the story
Michael