Feedback here.

Many thanks

Ha! First!

OK, I'll probably do this better tomorrow after I've had a little sleep, but my first impression is that Ching and Nor are tossing the 'sample' into the first bin they can find. Neither of them want Kal and ZaRa to have an heir - Ching because of his jealousy for ZaRa and Nor because of his power-hungry scheme to take over the world.

Lois is already suspicious of Nor (Yay!), so it shouldn't take long for her to figure out the lack of an heir is not due to Kal's "bad seed".

It was a sad scene. We knew it was coming, but it was still difficult to read. Kal asked seven times, when he probably hasn't even needed to ask for anything more than once his whole life. He just couldn't understand why Lois wouldn't agree.

I love it that this experience has made them both determined to move forward. Kal is going to investigate the law and Lois is going to get her paper to the people and (I suspect) start investigating the other Noble Lords. Nor and Ching better look out!

Rats! Now I have another two days to wait for the next post.


Brenda

What is Kal's secret?

~Sheila

I love this Lois! She is determined! Poor Kal has to do that every month! Yikes. Poor guy. It seems hard to believe a leader would be so naive? Still loving the story. More soon. laura

We don't know what Kal's secret is yet. That will be revealed in part 18... I can't wait!

One thing I have noticed. Every Kryptonian seems to have a one syllable name. Is this a coincidence, or is there a reason behind it? Then Lois comes along with a two syllable name.

I love the fact that Kal allows Lois to decide where she's sleeping. He is the Supreme Ruler. If he said that she had to sleep in his room, she would have to obey him. Yet he wants her to choose to stay with him.

This was SO heartbreaking!!!

Brenda said:
That's what I was thinking, too. And I really hope that Ching is jealous and wants Za for himself. That way, it might be possible for Kal to divorce her and allow her to marry Ching instead. And then, Kal would be free to marry Lois.

Kal's proposal to Lois reminds me a little of Mr Rochester's proposal to Jane Eyre in the famous novel by Charlotte Brontë. Poor Mr Rochester is already married, but his wife is insane, and he has locked her up in the attic. (And that was not very nice of you, Mr Rochester.) Also, back in England at that time, a person was forbidden to divorce, if his or her spouse was insane. (I guess the general idea was that society needed someone to take care of the poor lunatic, and that task fell on the spouse.) So Mr Rochester couldn't divorce his first wife, but he implored Jane Eyre to marry him anyway. "My wife doesn't matter," he insisted. "It is you that I love! We can leave this cursed house, leave England, go travelling all over Europe!" Well, Jane refused to listen to him, and she fled from his house so that she would not be tempted by him. But while she was refusing him, she could see that she was breaking his heart. Just like Lois could see that she was breaking Kal's heart when she turned down his proposal.

I have more to say about this chapter, but I just have to leave for work now!

Ann

Is anyone else just over this whole part? I can't wait to see how this gets resolved!

Great part,
JD

This is so sad for both of them: But as hard as this part is, Lois had something else to deal with: To me, this is more significant than all those marriage proposals that were turned down. Here was her real lasting "Yes" that has more meaning that all the times she says "No."

Bob

I reread this part twice, and I had a completely different take on the specimen. Poor Kal just doesn't get the whole concept, and for all we know they are getting him to spit in a vial. I don't think he has the slightest idea of what causes a baby. It might be that Za-Ra doesn't have any more idea than him, so she thinks it is all on the level. The rest of New Krypton knows about the birds and bees, and will never believe that their Supreme Ruler and his wife didn't understand what to do.

I think also that as sheltered as Kal's upbringing has been, his "secret" that has him embarrassed is probably something minor that one of the nobles has convinced him is a major character or moral flaw. IMHO

Pat

Pat said:




And, saving the best for last, this:

Wow!

This entire chapter just broke my heart.

PS - Have I told you lately how much I LOVE THIS STORY?

I agree with Bob, the fact that Lois promised to stay on New Krypton with Kal meant more than the seven times she turned down his proposal.

And I lolled at the spitting in the vial. Well, who knows?

Ann

This was heartbreaking. Beautiful, but heartbreaking.

But...what a different way for Lois to have her heart broken than what she's used to. Yet it produces the same result - she's going "Lois Lane" on the entire planet of New Krypton. And for that, I have to cheer!

This story has been amazing so far, and I think it's about to get even better!

Amber

OK, I have a theory.

Maybe Kal's secret it that he is really the son of the mystery earth woman. Maybe his seed isn't "bad", it's just incompatible. Maybe Dr. Klein was right about Earth people and Kryptonians being incompatible for reproduction. When the truth comes out, Kal is rejected as leader, Lt. Ching assumes command and marries La, and Kal and Lois fly back to earth to live happily ever after.

Of course, this doesn't answer the question of who Ard is. Or what Nor's plan is. Of why anyone would kidnap an earth baby and take him to Krypton. Or why Kal's parents would pretend he was their natural son. Or how Lois and Kal could get back to earth. Or.....


PS - on a more serious note, I did want to say that in this chapter in particular, Clark just shone through. I was reading "Kal", but in my mind's eye, I was seeing Clark.

Ok, this was me driving home from work today knowing I had a new part to read when I got in

Well, I was dancing on the inside anyway!!

This is me now I know it's not really funny in this context, it's sad. It's just I can feel Lois' awkwardness at having to spell this out to a grown man, and a grown man she's very attracted to at that!

That is so 'earth Lois' creeping back in. I could just hear her saying that as if speaking her thoughts out loud, then realising straight away it is not how she usually speaks to Kal, so blunt and to the point. Plus, of course, poor Kal doesn't even really understand what she means.

Ours, and Lois' suspicions are finally confirmed. And poor Kal, he's never asked either. It must be hard being Supreme Ruler and realising you don't know something so fundemental. I guess he thought he knew all he needed to to perform his duty. This is a man who didn't even know about hugging - I can't imagine what weird and wonderful ideas he must have had, but I doubt they would have come remotely close! He's in for a shock, but I'm sure he'll be keen to try it - with Lois! I wonder what methods Kryptonians have for contraception. Do they have any with it being such an underpopulated planet?

How awkward!

But be careful and don't be apart from Kal too long!!!

Arggh!! Where's part 15 already?!! We are so lucky to have this story but it's a good job you're so on top of posting, it's hard to wait a day, never mind longer. You've made us all so impatient.

Still loving it Corinna!! How cruel was the trick you played at the end of part 13's FDK by the way!! I totally fell for it. I read it just before I went to bed and went 'noooo!' It felt just like when you have to wait until the New Year for your favourite show to return, except it was worse cos I love this more than any TV show around at the moment!

Emma

I was driving in my car and thinking if she isn't Tek's wife or daughter, could she be his sister?

Ard is a definite mystery. I hope we get more clues about her soon.

I was also thinking that the childish pictures don't necessarily mean that a child drew them. If Ard was 4-5 years old when they left Krypton, these may be pictures drawn from a memory of the pictures she drew as a child.

I still maintain that there is nothing nefarious about Tek's visit. Colorful representations of a happier time could draw many of the New Kryptonians to her door.

Brenda Thanks, Brenda. Good point regarding Kal never having to ask for things more than once.
See note at the end of my thread.

Sheila See part 18 (I've just sent it to Iolanthe)

Laura

Now she is recovering a little from the shock of being on a new planet, Lois is becoming more Lois.

lcfan99

Jor, Kal, Trey, Ching, Nor - a lot of the males of NK seemed to have one syllable names. I decided to copy, but extend it to females as well.

*After* I had written a lot of the fic, I had the idea that there could have been some north/south differentiation in the names ... but it was too late by then.

Thanks for your comments.

Ann

That would certainly solve a few problems.

Thanks, Ann.

Shadow Yeah, it was a sad part - but there were hints at the end that things will get better.

Thanks.

Bob You're right - Lois promising not to leave Kal is a big step forward.

Thanks, Bob.

Pat Your idea put a picture in my mind of their wedding night!! Oh, dear.

I'm not saying one thing about the secret, but I am enjoying everyone's ideas.

Thanks, Pat.

Vicki I'm glad you're still enjoying it, Vicki. Thanks for all your wonderful FDK.

Re - your theory - dismissing all thoughts of my fic for a moment ... that had the beginnings of a great story. For me, the crux would be this ...

If you could think of an answer to this and also why the NKers would make him their Supreme Ruler and why Nor would allow it ... I see real possibilities.

So ... Kal is becoming more Clark and (see Laura's comment), Lois is becoming more Lois!

Amber Yes, it was a sad part - but there haven't been too many sad parts so far.

Thanks, Amber.

Emma Thanks again - you are almost beta'ing this fic!

Re Kal and his continuing proposals - in some ways he did a Lois Lane and jumped right in without thinking it through. He could see so clearly what Lois had described and knew he wanted it with her. So, he went for it before getting it totally clear in his own mind exactly what he was asking.

Of course, Lois was looking at it from a different perspective.

Actually, most of what I said was true - I had realised there was a problem with part 15 and I did intend to fix it and then get 18 to Iolanthe.

But everyone had asked so nicely for the next part, I was swayed towards getting it posted first.

And I did 'fess up straight away!

EDIT - Laura and Brenda nice ideas ... keep them coming!!

OK ...



There have been a few comments about how I've mostly posted every other day (despite me saying right at the start that I would try for twice a week).

Well, there's going to be a bit of a slow-down in posts for the next few weeks. The reason is that myself and my 10yo son are traveling to Canada to visit my daughter/his sister.

She has a computer (so I can write) and some internet access (so I can post) and I have a long, long flight to get the rest of this story finished.

I still intend to continue posting this fic, but it won't be EOD.

When I first started posting, I knew that the wise option would be to leave it until I returned from Canada. However, I was just so excited about it, I couldn't wait.

Part 15 has a horrible, deliberate, evil cliffhanger at the end. My plan is to post that part, then, rather than leaving you hanging, try to post at least part of 16 before I get on the plane and have no internet access for 32 hours.

I really appreciate all your FDK - please keep leaving your comments/speculation/ideas ... but please understand if my replies are brief. If I have to choose between posting a new part and replying to FDK, I'll post the part ... but please don't think I don't appreciate the FDK. I do, more than you could realise.

Corrina.

thanks for the update! have a safe flight, and can't wait for the next part!

Yes, it was a heartbreaking conversation, but, as has been said, necessary. What Kal doesn't understand, and what Lois never explained to him in so many words, is that all the wonderful things that Lois described are the *private* aspects of a marriage--the love affair part, if you will--but that a marriage also involves a *public* dimension.

A marriage is not *only* a relationship between two people. It is also involves the public recognition of that relationship because that relationship confers rights bestowed by the society. What Kal is asking for--a private marriage--is a contradiction in terms.

Some of those rights involve the children, some involve things like property rights, some, in a feudal society like NKs, involve status and protection of the wife. But one of those public rights is the right to expect other people to leave your spouse alone. Lois expects that of herself where Za is concerned; she has too much respect for herself, for Kal, and for Za to allow herself to be the other woman. Obviously the NKers don't have the same expectations of their nobles, else why would they have concubines?

So it seems to me that Kal and Lois have only had *half* of the conversation they really need to have about marriage. What Kal is asking for, but Lois can't accept, is an affair, not a marriage. Kal is asking in all innocence, but Lois is not that naive and can't accept what he is offering.

Never fear, though, because, Kal being the determined leader that he is, something tells me that he will find a way to give her what she needs--a true, legal, monogamous marriage. He's going to dig up some obscure Kryptonian law of divorce or annulment. Perhaps there is some law that the marriage can be disolved if no heir is produced within a certain time frame? Then Kal can marry Lois and get busy producing the heir the old-fashioned way.

Come to think of it, disolving Kal and Za's marriage through infertility may have been part of Nor's plan, but he didn't reckon with the appearance of Lois Lane.

I will say that Kal's self-image reinforces my idea that Kryptonian ideas of beauty are different from ours. Maybe Lois is the only woman on this whole planet who is drooling over the Supreme Ruler. The others are just trying not to gag when they see him at the Report every month and Za is relieved that she never has to actually touch him. Either that or someone has deliberately undermined his self-image. And the way he phrased it himself, that he couldn't do anything about the way he looks, but he hoped the rest would be enough to make up for it was just precious.

Lois's comment about how awake Kal will become brings up a delicate topic. With all this awakening going on, Kal will soon be in need of a certain conversation that most dads have with their boys when they get to be 12 years old or so. I'm thinking about the one involving embarrassing loss of control over a certain body part. I'm surprised the subject hasn't already come up. Oh, what that poor man has lost with the disappearance of that globe! This Clark is in desperate need of a Jonathan.

Excellent part, Corrina. It's painful, but that will make the reunion that much sweeter.

Have a safe trip and a good visit!

Very good points about the private and public aspects of marriage, HappyGirl.

I believe that Hugh Hefner (or someone like him) has had two (or three) "official" girlfriends for a long time. By allowing themselves to publicly enter into such a relationship, Hefner's girlfriends are saying to the world that they think it is all right for a woman to have to share her man with one or more other steady girlfriends on a regular basis. In my mind, that means that these women are degrading not only themselves, but other women too.

However, while the American society certainly allows Hefner to have as many girlfriends at the same time as he and the girlfriends want, it does not allow him to be married to more than one woman at the same time. It also does not allow him to register any of his girlfriends as his legal concubine.

The American society says that a man is only allowed to have a legally accepted "binding" relationship with one woman at any given time. Women, says the American law, are not like pets. You can not own more than one of tehm at the same time. And they own you as much as you own them. Marriage is an equal partnership, or more or less equal at least.

That's another reason why Lois should insist that Kal can only have one wife at the same time. Because otherwise she helps keeping a woman's public status low.

And Corinna, while you leave us reading meaning into your fic, have a nice trip to Canada!

Ann

Uh oh. I think I know what's coming. Of course, I've been wrong about Nor so many times now it isn't funny. But this, time, I really do think I might know what is coming up in Chapter 15. And if I am right, it's going to be one heck of a cliff-hanger!

I won't say what my thought is, because if I'm right, I don't want to spoil the effect of what's in store for us, and if I'm wrong, I don't want to embarrass myself yet again with my crazy ideas. :rolleyes:

Will we get Chapter 15 tonight? Please? Pretty please? Pretty please with sugar on top? I can't wait to read it.

Thanks for thinking about us, and for letting us know about your plans. When are you leaving? Have a safe flight and a wonderful trip!

Sarah Thanks for your FDK and good wishes.

Happy Girl Great points regarding the public and private aspects of a marriage.

I think Lois will ask a lot of the questions you asked.

Your FDK went places I avoid in the fic.

Well, it probably has, but this not being nfic, it had to stay private.

Ann Great points Ann. I have a feeling that whatever Lois decides to do, some people will agree with her and others won't. As the writer, if people understand her decision (even if they don't agree with it), that's what I'm hoping for.

Vicki From what you said, I don't think you have this particular cliff hanger correct. Whatever you're thinking - that may come later - but not this one. Maybe!

I have loved your 'crazy' ideas.

Part 15 - uhm. I hardly had any time to write today (pesky things like packing had to be done), and I received back 18 from Iolanthe and *had* to see her reaction to the secret because I was very worried about how she would react.

It's late Thursday here. I hope to post 15 tomorrow, then 16 (even if it's only the first scene to bridge the cliffhanger) on Saturday. I leave my home 2am Sunday


Thanks everyone for your good wishes for the trip. Clearly I'm *really* looking forward to seeing my daughter again and my son is one *very* excited young man. They miss each other a lot, so will want to do some things together - leaving me a few minutes to write/post ... hopefully.

Corrina.

Loved the part but feeling pretty much under the weather so no deep FDK. Sorry

Michael

Well, Ok then. But if what I'm thinking does not happen later, all I can say is you are seriously underusing Nor! Email me and I'll give you a slew of ideas for getting oh, so much more mileage out of your villian.

Just kidding. Seriously, I wouldn't want you to change a single word of this wonderful story! I am in awe of your writing ability, and am thoroughly enjoying the ride.

Sorry, I know I go on a bit! I do try to be concise, it's just so tricky when there is so much to say. The fic is just too good!

Don't worry, we've been spoiled with your frequent posting. We're lucky you're going to be able to post at all while you're away. And on the very bright side, the fic will last longer I don't think any of us like the thought of it being over! Thank you so much for making the time when things must be so hectic for you getting ready to go away. Hope you have a safe journey and a fantastic time.

Em

I have to work in 2 hours.

I'm going to try to get 15 posted before then ... assuming the kids stay asleep, the computer behaves and when I re-read 15 I don't hate it.

Corrina.

Michael Thanks for leaving FDK, Michael. Just knowing you're still reading is great.

Vicki Thanks for the offer. If the Nor of this fic doesn't live up (or down) to your expectations, you could write something more evil!!

Emma Don't be sorry! I'm am stunned that you take the time to leave FDK in such detail. I get so much from your comments - humour, insight, a hint that something coming needs a little more explanation, the assurance that what I'm trying to get across is working ...

Thanks so much.

Corrina.