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HatMan Offline OP
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Well, I hope you enjoyed that. smile

I'd like to remind you that, as I said in the author's note, in the first draft of this story, Lois's introspection was woefully neglected. So, if you enjoyed the way it was written in this draft, you'll have to thank Bethy for making sure I wrote it in. smile

That's all for now. Off to update the TOC.

Paul


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Merriwether
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Paul, that was amazing. goofy

Paul, you never cease to amaze and impress me!


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Kerth
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What a twist!!! eek

Jose thumbsup


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Paul,

Everything Rivka said, and then some.

This is another one of those "if I quote everything I like, I'll have to quote it all" stories.

Each new line sent me into another fit of laughter, but here are a two I particularly liked:

Quote
Indignation, abandoning its previous companions, joined Curiosity and Determination. The three worked in practiced unison to set up an impenetrable fortress.
I love that Indignation, Curiosity, and Determination have joined together so often that they now work "in practiced unison". goofy

Quote
Curiosity had never really been on particularly good terms with Patience anyway.
thumbsup

- Vicki


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Ditto all Paul..as usual everyone is way ahead of me...so many things were pointed out in the comments that didn't even occur to me! blush

Great finish and I have to say that I tend to love those straight forward revelations. They really satisfy me! thumbsup

~Liz


Lois: Can I go?
Clark: No.
Lois: Oh come on, Clark, why do we go through this? We both know I’m going to go.
Clark: Then why do you ask?
Lois: I’m trying to be nice.
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Beat Reporter
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Lovedlovedloved Lois's POV and introspection. That's what made the story for me. Also loved that (1)she took responsibility for appearing dead and (2) he took responsibility for telling her the ck=s thing...and how nicely you defused the hurt feelings about the proposal by straightforward communication!!!
Short, sweet, funny and a great read.
THANKS!

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Hi,

Beautiful! drool


Maria D. Ferdez.
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Don't like Luthor, unfinished, untitled and crossover story, and people that promises and don't deliver. I'm getting choosy with age.
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Nan Offline
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Very nice, Paul. This was a very well-thought-out story and I really liked Lois's solution to a desperate problem. She was also perfectly in character. Write more of these, please -- and don't forget your poll-driven story. The rest of us haven't.

Nan


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Having just survived the day from hell (all-day department meeting help ). So I'll just tell you that I have just added this story to my Kerth 2005 list, in at least two categories to be going along with. thumbsup

Thanks for writing it!!


Wendy smile


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Wow Paul that was a great twist. I loved Lois's babble in her letter to superman. Mostly I loved her thoughts not being able to catch up with her during Clarks story about superman. It was a very logical way to deal with both sides. I thought the ending was cute as well. Great job. Laura


Clark: “If we can be born in an instant, and die in an instant, why can’t we fall in love in an instant?”

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Thank God you saved her!
Very satisfying ending BTW. Lois is not mad at Clark for being Superman and not telling her and Clark is not hurt, because Lois rejected his proposal.

clap clap clap

Julia

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Very ingenious solution. I'm impressed.

This falls under that category of, 'Why didn't I ever think of that?". Which should also include the writers of the show. After all, Ressurection had aired only a couple of months before. 'Gee, we need Lois to appear dead. How can we do that?' - 'Say didn't we just use some fake deaths to spring some criminals out of prison? We could have Lois take some of that ressurection drug and then she would appear dead. How about that?'

'Nope, better off using a something much more believeable like... oh, freeze drying her with Superman's super breath'.

Nice revelation, Paul. A solid example of the newer trend toward calm and rational revelations (at least calm and rational outwardly wink )

Tank (who wonders at this new found surge of fic activity by Paul)

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Aww.... Paul, that was so beautiful.

The revelation soliloquy/monologue was really touching...

When I was reading the first part, I kept asking myself where the connection to Persephone comes in. Haha, now I get it.

Quote
Logic threw up its hands, turned around, and began beating its head against the wall.
This, though, made me pause and start laughing. smile

The only place where I kind of frowned, was where she told him to put the box away. I mean, what kind of a thing is that to say to your boyfriend? Trust Lois. goofy But that was more directed to Lois than to the author, so I'm not complaining really. After all, no story is complete without Lois doing something... unique. smile Though she did already with the pill. *me sensing myself rambling*

Julie smile


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That was certainly worth being late for class! goofy

Quote
Somewhere in the background, Love was jumping up and down, babbling incoherently.
rotflol

Great idea for bringing Lois back to life; I'd completely forgotten about those pills.

JD


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That was FANTASTIC! You terrified me with the ending of the first part, but completely made it all better with the second! smile1 I also completely adore the parts that were like this:
Quote
Logic threw up its hands, turned around, and began beating its head against the wall. Curiosity, however, was soaking it all in, like an eager child at story time.
It was just so sweet and sooooo hysterical! Thanks for a truly great read!
~Lauren


Clark: Lois, you're kinda babbling.
Lois: I know. See, I never babble.
Clark: Are you kidding? You're a brook.
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Wow Paul,

I echo everyone's wonderful sentiments. This really was amazing.

At first I held my breath as I read it. because I have a WIP that's close -- but then you went in an entirely different direction -- one that was beautiful, warm, and incredible.

I loved this!!!!!


Barb.

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Paul,
wonderful
just read both parts
ditto others
merry

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HatMan Offline OP
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Wow, okay. What do I say to this? This has been some of the best FDK I've ever gotten. Thanks!

Rivka, I'm glad you forgive me. Good to hear. smile Thanks for the compliment about the seeds. Oh, and based on your comments, I've made a slight alteration in the text to clarify things. It now reads:

Quote
There was a note that said "Superman" in large letters, and, next to it, a dark bottle labeled "pomegranate seeds." Curious, he checked with his x-ray vision. The seeds had been cleaned out. In their place were five pills. He picked up the note.
As for the "greek chorus"... I hadn't thought of it that way, but I like it! ... Uhm, that is... Of course I meant it that way! Brilliant of me, wasn't it?

Not so sure about that dent in the wall of Logic's favored corner. I think, in Lois's head, Logic tends to spend more time practicing the hurdles...

Jose, thanks for posting!

Vicki, wow, thanks! (Must... resereve... smilies...)

Quote
I love that Indignation, Curiosity, and Determination have joined together so often that they now work "in practiced unison"
Hey, who do you think is in charge during most investigations? <g> actually, come to think, i might just change the phrasing there..

Quote
Indignation, abandoning its previous companions, joined Curiosity and Determination. The three worked in practiced unison to set up the impenetrable fortress which others had named "Mad Dog Lane."
Quote
On a final note, the revelation scene was wonderfully written. It has been added to my mental list of all-time favorite revelations.
Wow! That is saying something! Thanks!

Liz, thanks for posting! (I'm going to be saying that a lot, aren't I?)

Quote
Great finish and I have to say that I tend to love those straight forward revelations. They really satisfy me!
Yeah, me too. That's why I try to write them. Glad to hear I'm not alone.

Joy, glad you liked it so much. Thanks!

(Starting to rush now, because Mom's getting impatient... Sorry.)

Maria, thank you!

Nan, I'll try. smile Don't know what the muse will come up with next. As you can see, though, I haven't forgotten the poll story. Now please excuse me while I savor the bit where you told me one of my stories was "well thought out"...

Wendy, thank you!! Sorry you were so tired, but I'm glad you took the time to post. Wow, directly to the Kerth file! That's... wow.

(Okay, rushing through this isn't fair to anyone. I'm going to head out now. Be back to edit this post and respond to the ficlist letters later.)

(I'm back. <Begin babble mode.> I just wanted to make it clear that I did not pay any less attention to the replies above or skip saying anything I would otherwise have said. I simply tried to tell myself to read and write faster, which didn't really work very well. Mostly, I sat there replying as usual and feeling guilty for it because Mom was waiting impatiently downstairs. The whole problem started because I hadn't been sleeping well in the past few days, so I woke up even later than usual today. That just threw everything off. Anyway, I'm back, I really appreciate all this wonderful FDK, and I'll be sending this story in to the archive shortly. <End babble.> We now return you to your regularly scheduled FDK response.)

Speaking of babble, glad you enjoyed Lois's, Laurie. smile That's another one of those things that wasn't in the original draft. Bethy suggested that I put some babble into the note (though she had a different idea of where to put it), and it seemed like a fun idea, so I put it in (at the same time incorperating her suggestion that I give the readers a bit more information about why Lois happened to have a bottle of pomegranate seeds in the back of her cupboard and why she wasn't afraid that someone would try to eat them or throw them out). So, again, thanks to Bethy for making the story better than it was.

In any case, I'm glad you enjoyed it, Laurie.

Julia, thanks for posting. I'm glad you enjoyed the ending, too.

Tank said:

Quote
Very ingenious solution. I'm impressed.
Thank you! That's very gratifying to hear, especially considering that you've come up with some pretty impressive stuff, yourself.

lol on your comments about the writers.

As for the revelation, I've always preferred that type. I've written a couple like that before. I didn't realize there was a trend. Hey, maybe I managed to start it! wink I just don't like things to be too drawn out. Sure, there's a lot of confusion and some hurt from the lies (which were hurting Clark, too, btw), but the bottom line is that they love each other and now there's no one in the way of that. As an added bonus, Lois gets Superman along with Clark. I don't think Lois should be extatic (though I did write one like that once, just to be silly), but I never thought it was cause for days of anger and rejection, either. Something in the middle is good, like we saw in TF. She was angry, but she got over it (in a few hours or slightly over a century, depending on how you look at it...).

Anyway, I'll just step off my little soapbox and take a look at what Julie had to say... blush

Quote
Aww.... Paul, that was so beautiful.
Thanks!

Quote
The revelation soliloquy/monologue was really touching...
I'm glad you liked it. There was some worry, especially in the first draft, that it would seem boring. Most of it is information the readers already know, even if Lois doesn't. I'd hoped that breaking it up with some introspection would help. I'm glad it worked for you.

Glad you enjoyed the rest, too.

As for the proposal... what else should she have said? It always seemed silly to me that Clark did that in the ep. Actually, I heard that the writers only made him do that because they were having trouble getting the higher-ups to let them move things forward. In any case, it was the wrong time for him to propose, and I think this was a much gentler way to let him know that. That's the way I see things, anyway. (Ha ha! I can ramble better than you can. :p )

Jen, thanks. I'm sorry I made you late for class, but I'm glad you thought it was worth it. <g>

Lauren, thank you! I just can't get enough of comments like yours. I'm glad I made up for that evil teaser, too.

Barb, glad you enjoyed. Thanks for posting. Glad, too, that I didn't interfere with your WIP. We all do tend to go in different directions, don't we? Makes for some pretty cool reads. Good luck with your story.

Merry, thanks for posting. Good luck catching up with everything else. Good to see you around again. smile

Looks like that's it. Thanks again, everyone! smile1

Paul


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Brilliant woman. Beautiful revelation. Happy, happy sigh.

Wonderful story, Paul!

Hazel


Lois: You know the deal.
Clark: Superman gets the guys in capes, Lois and Clark get the guys in suits.

-- Action Comics 827
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Paul

WOW! I love this story. smile1

Tricia cool

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