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One of my favorite chapters -- and of course, Luthor just can't keep from getting between our favorite couple!
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Pulitzer
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Wow, this was a really good part. Can't wait for the next chapter!  Artemis
History is easy once you've lived it. - Duncan MacLeod
Writing history is easy once you've lived it. - Artemis
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Nobel Peace Prize Winner
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 I thought too by the part's title that they'd be heading for Smallville, but you defended Clark's decision to take her to Clinton St. very well. “Look at all the good you do,” his mom had told him early on when she’d found him in his tree-house after an anonymous rescue gone bad, curled up tightly, rocking back and forth, staring ahead blankly.
“If you save even one life, son, that’s reason enough to do what you do,” his dad, a callused hand resting on his shoulder, had told his teenage son the first time Clark had begged to go answer a plea for help.
“Whatever he *can* do, it’s enough,” Lois had said, her eyes hazy with adoration for her absent hero. I liked this section. It shows how Clark progressed in his decision to become Superman. While his folks were supportive, they weren't pushing him in one way or another. It was *his* decision made after very deliberate thought. He tried to remember those words, really he did, but it was so hard when the cries for help never stopped drowning them out. Truly, the hardest part of being who he is. So now he didn’t try to push away his guilt and regret and terror and desperate desire to go back in time and fix all his mistakes; instead, he took them and placed them in a little box and left them where they touched everything he did but stayed close enough to the surface so that the feel of the ocean waves, the touch of the sun, the smile from a casual passerby, the gift of holding the door open for another, the kind word of a friend--anything and everything that could cause joy and inspire delight--left them where those tiny gestures would cause the raw emotions to soften and relax and eventually evaporate. It was a slow process, but it worked, and it had been what had always let him leave a terrible rescue and walk into work with a smile on his face and a greeting of his own for his friends and a coffee in his hand for Lois. I worry about this "box". It seems as a tentative storage spot for so much emotional angst; a spot much too easily accessible to a Lois in the know. How much outpouring of grief would he experience, should a supportive Lois were to ask about the Box? Would that be a good thing or an uncontrollable thing? Although, in the end, having someone with whom he can share the items in this "box" would be the closest to healing these wounds. He had promised he’d return to Lois. He couldn’t take back his revelation, couldn’t take back his admission of love, couldn’t take back the lies he’d told while they were partners…so he had to live with it. He had to accept it, just as he had to accept that he couldn’t save everyone every time. There's so much in every line, I could discuss each one separately (but then this would be longer than your part). I wondered if he would return straight back to Lois. I'm glad he decided he would, but I can see why it was a decision. No, he couldn't go back into the past and take it all back (Herb Wells aside). He now had to live with the choice of telling her. That he compares telling Lois to the horrible pain he suffers whenever he is unable to save someone is so telling at how fractured his heart currently feels. Look at the good--he now had a chance to convince Lois to stay away from Luthor, or better yet, see if there was any way he could get her to help him find the evidence he needed to convict the monster.
Save one life--he would be able to protect Lois now without having to worry about keeping his secret, without having to hold himself back, without having to hide just how afraid he was of Luthor. There's our little optimist! I like how you go back and echo this advice from his folks. Whatever he did do--well, if only that really were enough to make her love him. But even if it wasn’t, he still had to be there for her. He’d promised he would be, hadn’t he? He wanted to be, didn’t he? After all, it wasn’t her fault she couldn’t love him, wasn’t her fault he’d had to split himself into two personas in order to live with himself, wasn’t her fault his life was so messed up that just a Park Bench, Window, and Fountain could completely overset him. He could be there for her. He could pretend whatever their relationship was now was enough for him. He could be there to help her and protect her and encourage her and yet step aside whenever she didn’t want him there. It was what he had been doing for eight months now, practice enough to ensure he could continue to do it the rest of his life. Oh, poor Clark. You show how clearly and lifelong his love for Lois already is. It's amazing how he could ever decide to cut her from his life, which he does for her own good (or once or twice, his) which too much frequency. And if he sometimes felt like sharp, jagged pieces of something resided inside his chest instead of a whole heart…well, that was no one’s business but his own. If he sometimes were to look at Lois with all the longing he truly felt…well, as long as he didn’t say anything about it, it could surely go unremarked. If he sometimes dreamed dreams of a future with someone who accepted him wholeheartedly and loved him unreservedly and smiled at him and held his hand and teased him with intelligent banter and looked a lot like Lois…well, no one could completely excise his own heart. Ah. Unrequited love. The worst blissful torture in the world. Luthor was what was important right now, and Clark couldn’t afford to forget that again, not if the criminal mastermind had Kryptonite in his possession. I had forgotten at this point HOW Clark knew that Luthor had kryptonite. Then I remembered that Lois had seen him with it.  Beautifully done. “This is your apartment. I’ve been here hundreds of times.”
“I know, Lois. I love having you here all the time.” He stepped inside, giving a cursory glance to the interior of the apartment as he flipped on the lights. Lois followed behind, stumbling back a bit when he spun into his regular clothes, eager to be out of the grimy, soot-stained, blood-scented Suit. Out of the corner of his eye, he caught Lois gaping at the Suit he casually tossed into the laundry hamper, would have grinned in other circumstances at the way she shook aside her shock and glared at him lest he admit he’d seen her discomfiture. This is perfect. Him showing who he really is. (And, of course, wanting to get out of the dirty uniform.) “This apartment is who I am, Lois, and yes, it has a secret closet that hides Superman Suits. But this closet is exactly how much of Superman I am.” He stopped, shook his head, knowing he wasn’t making sense, started over again. “This entire apartment is Clark Kent’s, and only one tiny compartment is Superman’s. You say you don’t know me, but that’s not true at all. You’ve been in every room of this apartment except this one closet. And the truth is…the truth is, if you take away Superman, Clark Kent will still be here. More afraid, more constrained, maybe having to move on after too many anonymous rescues--but still *me*. But if you take Clark Kent away…there is no Superman. There’s no one, nobody, nothing.” Nice analogy.  “You do,” he insisted, his own voice almost as quiet as hers. “This is just one secret, Lois, and I know it’s big, but…but it’s just like Claude.” Open mouth, insert foot. “I told you about Claude only days after first meeting you. It took *you* almost a year before you told me this secret--and if it weren’t for Lex, I doubt you would have told me at all!”
“How long have you been keeping Claude a secret?” he asked with more calm than he felt. “Four years? Five? My parents and I have been hiding this secret my entire life! And the consequences of people finding out about Claude are nothing compared to what would happen if they all knew I was Superman!” Hence why Claude was a bad analogy, Clark. Lois hiding that she's a wonderful, loving, emotional fragile person is closer to Clark being Superman, than her secret regarding Claude. But that one is harder to bring up to Lois than Claude. “I thought I was your *best* friend!” she cried, and underneath her fury, there were tears shimmering in liquid eyes, turning Clark’s insides to dandelion seeds that fluttered in the pull of the vacuum in the pit of his stomach, sending his rational thoughts spinning into oblivion. “I thought I meant something to you! I thought…I thought I was special to you. To both of you.” Nope. Sorry, Lois. Even best friends can have secrets from one another, especially best friends who haven't been best friends all that long. “You are. You’re infinitely special to me. I lo--I’ve never had a better friend than you, and I did want, so many times, to tell you. But this secret…it’s huge, Lois. It takes over your entire life and it never goes away. It’s a burden that’s almost heavier than I can bear! It means you have to lie every day about even trivial things--have to do things like remember to grab a coat even if you’re not cold just so no one will look at you and start seeing a creature instead of a person. It means you can never let your guard down, never answer anyone honestly when they ask how your day went, never commit to a full evening with someone because you never know when an emergency will come up. It means your world is forever divided between those who know and those who don’t and there will never be a time when the former equals the latter.” I love how he lists all the negatives to having a dual life here, and how hard it's been keeping a part of himself separate and having to always lie, even about, the little things, like "how your day went". And, yet, it was important enough that Superman remain that he was willing to risk it all to continue. “It means,” Clark added quietly, “that no matter how much you want to, you can’t tell your best friend that the man she’s dating, the man she might marry, the man she hopes will make her happy, is in fact a monster. Because if you told her that, you’d have to tell her how you know he’s a monster. The secret isolates you and cuts you off from everyone else and turns you into the bad guy when you give your vague, watered-down warnings to her about her boyfriend and possible fiancé. Why…” He pulled in a ragged breath, slowly let it out. “*Why* would I wish that kind of burden on you, Lois?” Because being burdened with the truth is less horrible than blindly marrying Luthor without knowing the truth? “That’s somewhat ironic--hiding his skeletons in your closet. I mean, you’re both hiding the two biggest secrets in Metropolis, maybe in the world. You’re both daring the same reporter to find you out, both lying through your teeth with a charming smile. You’ve even both been the recipients for the key to the city! I mean, on the outside, you’re completely the same, and yet there’s no--” Ouch. I see what she's getting out here, but the difference is that Clark DID tell her, and he kept his secret to protect Lois and the Kents. Luthor kept his own secret, because he knew it would make Lois hate him and it would ruin him if it got out. “What?” Clark stared at her, stricken, unable to breathe.
*You’re completely the same.* Her words ran through his mind like a mantra, obliterating the noise of Metropolis, the sound of the waves in the harbor, the passage of the planes overhead. He had just called Luthor a monster, had given her proof--it had seemed she was listening to him, appeared that she believed him--and yet…yet she thought he was exactly like Luthor. When I first read this I read the *'s as quote marks and thought that Lois had repeated these horrible words, but on this second reading I saw that she doesn't respond to his "What?" and he moves to leave without her responding to his question at all. A monster. She thought he was a monster. Not an ordinary man, not a superhero, not even her friend. Just a liar. Someone who used her, taunted her, dared her to see the secret hiding right in front of her. She hadn’t listened to a word he’d said, hadn’t seen anything he’d tried so hard to show her…and it was all his fault. Oh, no! This is the worst possible thing Clark could think. If he left now, she would never see him, and possibly never see Superman either, again. “If you think I’m just like Luthor, then…” He choked on those words, kept talking anyway because if he was talking, if he was filling his apartment with words, it meant she couldn’t say anything else to scar him. “If you think that, then clearly there’s no reason for me to stay, nothing more for me to say.”
“What?” Pure emotion flooded through Lois’s large, dark eyes, and she reached out her hands to place on his chest, as if trying to hold him in place. “Stop! That’s not what I was saying. I mean, it is what I said, but it’s not what I meant! I was trying to say that you could be like him--you could be *just* like him--but instead you’re--” *NOT!* Just say the word, Lois. You have time to say it! Don't let him go on thinking you think he and the criminal mastermind that is Luthor are one and the same. A sharp, imperative knock on the door interrupted both Lois’s impassioned speech and Clark’s attempts to step past her. Both of them froze, both looking toward the door, and it would have been almost comical if Clark hadn’t slipped his glasses down, looked through the door, and seen Luthor on the other side. What?! No, not HIM. Anyone but him. How about Jimmy, instead? “Shh,” he hissed, reminded of the long ago night when she’d followed him back from the Metro Club and then protested when he tried to hide her from Toni Taylor. “If you were supposed to meet Luthor earlier and then didn’t, he might be suspicious of you.”
“He doesn’t know I’m here,” Lois retorted, though at least she kept her voice low.
“Then why is he at Clark Kent’s apartment at five in the morning?” Clark asked her matter-of-factly. “Please, Lois, if it’s nothing, you can always come out later, but if it is about you, it’s better if he doesn’t know you’re here.” I'm going to have to agree with Clark. It's better that she eavesdrop first before giving away her advantage. Also, Lex, haven't you ever heard of a telephone? Did you THINK that Lois would be cheating on you with Clark? CLARK? Someone you don't consider more of than a pestering mosquito? Another knock sounded imperiously, echoing through the living room. Clark cast a quick glance around, noted the brewing coffee that proved he’d been awake, ran a hand through his hair to tousle it, and took a deep breath as he moved to the landing to open the door on his arch-nemesis. ARGH! No! Don't end THERE! I want to know what's going to happen next! What a cliffhanger. You've got me on the edge of my seat. What a rollercoaster ride this part was and then you end it with THIS. ARGH. My impatience is killing me!
VirginiaR.
"On the long road, take small steps." -- Jor-el, "The Foundling"
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"clearly there is a lack of understanding between those two... he speaks Lunkheadanian and she Stubbornanian" -- chelo.
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Top Banana
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Top Banana
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Seriously, the longer the part, the better the part  ) And now enter Lex Luthor...things are getting dicey 
"Where's Clark?" "Right here."
...two simple sentences--with so much meaning.
~Lois and Clark in 'House of Luthor'~
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Hack from Nowheresville
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Hack from Nowheresville
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I've just caught up with this story, it is heartbreaking to see Clark torturing himself. Beautiful description of his feelings towards Lois and about being Superman.  Please, don't keep us hanging, post soon. 
KateB
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Another great part (as usual). Gosh, I love the angst and drama here. Everyone else has already written (and written it better) what I wanted to say, so I'll just make a trivial comment about the laundry hamper - I sure hope it has a cover, and that it's not just a laundry basket. Because nothing would be worse than Lex Luthor seeing Superman's dirty suit in Clark Kent's laundry basket. 
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Top Banana
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Anti-K said: One of my favorite chapters Yeah, I liked it, too. I think my favorite part was when Clark took her back to his apartment to show her that she really does know him. For some reason I also found it amusing when Lois said she remembered his first tsunami, and then pressed for confirmation that it really had been his first. Oh, and I liked the Claude analogy. Well, I guess pretty much I liked the whole chapter! Looking forward to more...
"Hold on, my friends, to the Constitution and to the Republic for which it stands. Miracles do not cluster and what has happened once in 6,000 years, may not happen again. Hold on to the Constitution" - Daniel Webster
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Pulitzer
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Clark almost imperceptibly flinched back from her hand reaching out to touch his arm. He hated that she had seen him during one of these kinds of rescues where so many things went wrong no matter what he did, where he made such a terrible, almost fatal mistake. He hated even more that she was still looking at him with that expression he couldn’t read, that she was still trying to interview him, that she still wouldn’t call him by name, though of course she couldn’t, not in front of all these people. This description makes perfect sense of the cacophony of emotion Clark is feeling right now. Save as many people as possible during a very difficult rescue. Save Lois from Luthor's machinations. Save himself from further pain. Those a lot going on and for a man with super powers it is more than he can handle. Oh, let's not forget that after all the stress of the rescue, Lex comes to Clark's apartment in search of his wayward girlfriend. Talk about a busy night! Whew!
Morgana
A writer's job is to think of new plots and create characters who stay with you long after the final page has been read. If that mission is accomplished than we have done what we set out to do, which is to entertain and hopefully educate.
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Thanks, artemis -- hope the next chapter doesn't disappoint! Wow, Virginia, you may like longer parts, but I DEFINITELY like the longer reviews! For whatever reason, I never even considered Clark taking Lois to Smallville, so I'm glad that decision made sense -- his apartment just seems so much more like Clark to me. When I imagine him, I imagine his place. I am so glad you all noticed that Lois's shiver had nothing to do with the cold -- trying to show a character's POV through another character's eyes, particularly a character who doesn't understand, is one of the hardest things to do, so it was a relief to hear that it turned out here. And no Jimmy -- he does seem much more preferable than Luthor, though, doesn't he? Puts things into perspective!  Thank you so much for the detailed review -- it's always helpful, not to mention a delight, when readers take the time to show me how they read the scenes! Same to you, LMA! I was grinning like a fool when I came back from work to find your feedback! I wish I could vindicate your belief that I'm descriptive in these fdk replies, but I'm afraid that it doesn't work at all in personal life! So glad the capitalized places are still working -- I wasn't sure that the concept would be conveyed well enough in the first place, so sticking with it through the story was a long shot for me, but I liked it too much to leave it! And yay! Glad the bit about Clark throwing Superman's suit into the laundry showed perspective! That was one of my favorite bits, too! I've always particularly loved the way that Clark just wants to connect. He could be such an isolated character, but he reaches out so well -- especially to the love of his life! And yeah, very bad misunderstanding there, but I had to work the title of the piece in somehow or other.  Thank you, KateB! I'm glad you're enjoying -- but Luthor always has to show up at the exact wrong moment, right? It's pretty much his gift!  Glad you like the angst, Iolanthe! There's a lot more where it came from, trust me. And yes, the hamper has a lid -- is there a name for one of those things? Hmm, more research, I guess. That Claude analogy was dubious, Vicki, and I almost took it out, but then it seemed to fit so well, and I'd already written it (which is probably what saved it, to be honest; I hate rewriting), and now I'm very glad I left it in! Thanks! "The cacophony of emotion" - I love that, Morgana! Thanks so much for all the work beta-ing you do for me! Thanks for the great reviews, everyone!
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AntiKryptonite posted: I was grinning like a fool when I came back from work to find your feedback! Funny, I was grinning like a fool when I saw you posted another part today Talk then, Laura
"Where's Clark?" "Right here."
...two simple sentences--with so much meaning.
~Lois and Clark in 'House of Luthor'~
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I forgot to mention this when quoting my favorite lines: “Are you okay?” she asked softly.
<...>
“I’m fine,” he said slowly, and spared a moment to wonder what she thought could possibly have happened to him. Poor Clark. Under other circumstances, his misunderstanding of her question would be almost humorous, but with things as they are, it's just so sad.
"Hold on, my friends, to the Constitution and to the Republic for which it stands. Miracles do not cluster and what has happened once in 6,000 years, may not happen again. Hold on to the Constitution" - Daniel Webster
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Hack from Nowheresville
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Hack from Nowheresville
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Aaaarrghh! You can't stop here! ...... I'm biting my nails right now.
Clark: "So what are you saying? I should go crawling back on my hands and knees?"
Martha: "No, honey. Fly back. It's faster!!"
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Brilliantly put, LMA! That easiness between Lois and Clark, when they can take off their masks, are my favorite parts of the show!
Aaahhh! How do you find all my own favorite lines, Vicki? That was actually one of my favorite 'throwaway' lines, the bits that I put in and hope people catch on a re-read (should they like it well enough to do so). I'm starting to think you can read my mind... :rolleyes:
Sorry, chelo -- but hey, more's coming very shortly!
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 Lois is believing Clark. She wants to learn about him. I like how Clark showed her his apartment. I was really afraid he would run away, and am glad Lois talked him out of it. I'm not sure why Luthor is there. I hope he has not become suspicious that CK=SM.
John Pack Lambert
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Glad you're still enjoying, John! And yeah, Lois is beginning to listen -- that's one thing I love about her, that if you give her a bit of time to process her anger/disappointment/surprise, she'll come through for you in a big way. Or rather, for Clark, I should say. And Luthor's never good news, is he?
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