Lois & Clark Forums Forums Fan Fiction Lois & Clark Fanfic FDK: The Vampire Murders: Conclusion Pt 2

FDK if any, goes here

Nan

Here's some.

Good story, Nan. As always, you've given us a tightly plotted and coherent narrative flow without drowning us in data dumps anywhere along the line. And you've shared some insights about Lois and Clark that not all of us have developed. And you've done that in an original setting, complete with tense "reader enhancements" at the ends of the chapters to leave us hungry for more.

I'm glad you've mentioned an epilogue, because there are still some important plot threads dangling in the wind. Where's the coffin? Who was in it? Who took it? Is that legend of the spirit protector the actual explanation or a red herring? How supernatural is the mysterious benefactor? How much does Henderson know? How much does he suspect? How deeply is he involved in the "good guy" side of the supernatural (assuming our impressions are accurate - because all the events of this story could turn out to have a perfectly rational explanation. Not likely, but - )? How much does Lois know about Clark's side job? How much does she suspect? How much will she deduce when she sits down and thinks about it later? You could write another entire story just answering questions like this.

I'm sorry that real life jumped on you and delayed this story, Nan. I suspect that's why more FoLCs haven't rushed in to comment, because you've given us a well-constructed, well-written, and quite gripping tale. But I'm glad you managed to (almost) complete it. Your stories are always entertaining and informative, and I like the addition of the Native American history behind - or, in this case, under - Metropolis. With your permission, I may borrow that concept some time. Maybe the city will expand an existing underground walking tunnel system and find something both interesting and terrifying. Who can say?

Thanks for giving us this additional glimpse into the lives of our favorite couple, Nan. Well done.

That was a wonderful story, Nan (as always!). Lois' guardian was just incredible,I loved every time he appeared. You had me on the edge of my seat all the time.
Looking forward to the (long I hope) epilogue.
Thanks for that great story!

Hi Nan! You made it!

But isn’t Breaking and Entering? What about removing stereo-systems from the cars parked in that alley so the nice gentlemen in the leatherjackets can tune them for the owners?

But aren’t the fouled up underwear and bruises on his chest punishment enough?

They could even use it to promote shopping at Costmart – shop for 100 bucks and get a ticket to the museum for free.

Can’t wait!

Michael

I'm back from my cruise on the USS Nimitz. You have no idea what life is like on an American warship until you've been there for a few days, and 4 days on an active nuclear aircraft carrier was a real eye-opener. I'm told that the food was upgraded for the crew while we "Tigers" were on board. It was okay -- nothing fancy, but nobody is going to starve while eating it. When you wiggle into the tiny bunks at night, however, you'd better remember not to sit up suddenly. The next bunk is about 8 inches above you. <g>

All in all, however, it was fun. I talked to one young lady who works on the actual bridge of the ship. She took us up there on tour. She guides this monster (the length of 3 football fields and 101,196 tons) as it sails the ocean. She's 19. A year ago at this time, she was a waitress. She said emphatically that this is the best thing that ever happened to her.

Anyway, on to the feedback. Thanks to all of you who left feedback. I know I took much too long to write the story, but it couldn't be avoided. I'm only happy that some of you stuck with me to the end. If I have time, I'll write the epilogue within a few days. I'd like to finish before the New Year if I can.

Terry, you absolutely may use the concept I used to base this story on for your own story. I certainly haven't any patent on it, and if experience is any guide, I'll be very entertained by the result.

Nan

So this vampire does not seem to be deterred by the crucifix. Is that because he's a pre-Columbian, pre-Christian, Native American?

Oh, is that what that was supposed to mean? /Although, technically Angel did give Buffy a crucifix in the pilot of Buffy, too, but his came in a box./

I'm still here and reading, Nan. I just read this at a point when I couldn't comment, and then my brain went to mush... which really isn't too difficult for it nowadays. Anyway, I'll be sure to be the good reader and comment fully after you post your epilogue.