Lois & Clark Forums Forums Fan Fiction Lois & Clark Fanfic FDK: Don't Tug on Lois's Key Ring

Story can be found here

Thanks in advance for the feedback and story advice.

Ha! That was great! I liked the explanation for why Lois would tell someone to take the keys. Using her keys as a distraction so that she could rout the bad guys while Clark just stood there still deciding what to do -- it was so perfect for her character (and his too, really)!

Yup. Who else?

Hmm. A wee bit ironic, that. <g>

BTW, I loved the way you tied this in with Superman's drei-fight against Nor. It was the perfect ending! Thanks for the laugh.

Thanks for the feedback. BTW UL--You may have noticed I borrowed your disclaimer (but with attribution). Thanks.

I debated whether Lois would have a repeat performance if the police taking her keys as evidence but figured that'd be too far.

It always bothered me that Clark could pick up a drei and practice for a weekend and fight competently against someone who had been doing it most of his life. There is a storyline between the jewelry store that winds through Chi of Steel and arrives at the end but RL isn't giving me much time to do it justice.

Great story

Really liked how you used the above line to start the story and how the keys are made into a distraction. Creative!

Loved how you wrote Lois here--sounded very true to her character....liked the 'chump' part, also

Thanks--enjoyed it!
Laura

I'm glad you liked it (and thought it was worth using)!

I totally agree!

I look forward to reading your version, if RL ever gives you the time to write it!

That was cute until the ending and then it was AWESOME! The ending with Superman twirling the drei and going to fight Nor was the perfect touch.
Excellent. Speaking of Kerth's, this needs to go in the short stories.

Artemis

No one can beat Lois when it comes to smelling out a story! Henderson learned that long ago! thanks for the chuckle.

Hi Shallowford!

Lois going to use a distraction?

Clark probably needs a fresh set of underwear, though.

Michael

Hi Michael,

Thanks for the feedback.

About the Kevlar...I was thinking about two losers who found the vests secondhand and decided (based on that alone) that they could take their criminal enterprises to the next level. No more Quickie Marts and stealing from the tip jar at the local bar for them. They've moved on to better things. Big bright future. Not much of a getaway plan. No fence to take the stolen jewels to. No brain, no pain.

Deleted double post.

Ooooh! That is a great idea! Michael

Actually S, that sounds like a good idea from Michael. Just a thought.

I liked this story, although Clark seemed to be largely an observer. I really loved the line about Clark being hesitant about going to a jewelry store with Lois. Although part of me finds it odd Lois would buy her mother a gift.

It's probably some significant birthday or something like that, where if Lois doesn't get her a gift, Ellen will give her guilt for the rest of Lois's life.

Excellent story!

I also like that Clark realizes he has to up his game - he can't count on Superman saving the day all the time. He needs to work on martial arts so he can explain any slips.

Darth Michael--I like the Church tie-in. I'm planning to expand the story and I'll include it.

John--The longer version that goes from this scene through the fight with Nor would be primarily from Clark's perspective. I actually wanted him to be useless here to give him the impetus to develop other skills.

IolantheAlias--Yep. Guilt is what I had in mind. I didn't do much explanation for the gift because I wanted to keep the flashback short and I wanted to devote some time to Clark's reaction. I liked the opening line challenge and wrote it with the cuts to make the line work but I will probably rearrange them in a rewrite.

Thanks for the feedback everyone. I intend to keep working on this story but I can't promise any timelines. I have one idea that I haven't really seen before that goes with the story and I'd like to do it well.

By the way, I'm really surprised that no one has commented on Clark's sandwich. Did everyone assume Lois was being sarcastic?

Oooh! Looking forward to it on the archives Michael

More proof that truth is stranger than fiction. (As if we needed it.) Edited for length, link to full story below:

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(A) man, grabbed (the victim's) purse and held her at knifepoint. He then began to force her down the street with him toward her bank's ATM.

As they headed for the Wells Fargo bank that morning, they could have been mistaken for any ordinary couple walking down the street.

That's when a Good Samaritan showed up.

A woman nearby saw the two people heading for the ATM. She heard a scream and immediately realized something was amiss.

She asked the woman directly, "Are you OK?"

The woman replied, "No."

But the man with the knife, interjected, "Yes, she's OK,"

But for the Good Samaritan, this was not good enough. She flung the car keys she was holding directly at (the attacker) -- who became flustered. In that split second, the victim was able to break free and run off. The Good Samaritan then called 911, alerted authorities to what had happened, and described the attacker.
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Good Samaritan stops armed robbery with her car keys