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Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 1,371 Likes: 1
Top Banana
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OP
Top Banana
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 1,371 Likes: 1 |
 Only one part to go. Feedback here, please. Bob
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Joined: Feb 2008
Posts: 2,823
Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Feb 2008
Posts: 2,823 |
Really liking this. The dream was so realistic, I was wondering if Clark had been exposed to red K - why else would he act like that?
The holding-hands scene was great.
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Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 9,509
Nobel Peace Prize Winner
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Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 9,509 |
I loved the holding hands. I loved that he didn't want to let go and she accepted that. I hated the blonde bimbo!  You had me going there for a minute. I said, "Hey! Wait! No, Clark. NO! Bad Boy! Get your hands off that woman."  Then I said, no this can't be real. Clark's getting her back for telling him she was moving to London, that's what this is. Clark wouldn't REALLY do this to Lois, not after that cute hand-holding scene. Then you got me! DREAM! Ooooh. You got me good.   So, Lois, whatcha going to do about it? Happily awaiting Part 5.
VirginiaR.
"On the long road, take small steps." -- Jor-el, "The Foundling"
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"clearly there is a lack of understanding between those two... he speaks Lunkheadanian and she Stubbornanian" -- chelo.
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Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 966
Features Writer
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Features Writer
Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 966 |
Boy, I have to say I was confused when this started! I almost went back and reread the last part, thinking I'd missed something or missed a chapter! I was even more confused when Clark was so open about keeping hold of her hand. I mean, he's so careful about never pressuring her or making her think he wants to be more than friends. Then Lois hugged Clark, and I knew it had to either be a dream or I had missed something very big. When the blonde girl showed up--and Clark didn't politely but quickly get rid of her--I KNEW it had to be a dream. But well done! I went through so many thoughts while reading that first segment that I had to reread it just to get everything i had missed the first time. I love the subconscious conclusions Lois was drawing--and I love even more that she realized them herself while awake. It would be very disturbing to realize Clark could move on without her (though the show did it through Mayson instead of a dream). I cannot wait to see how Lois chooses to confront this. I can just see her striding up to Clark and commandingly saying 'You're mine. You better not let any blonde hood ornaments hang around your desk anymore!'  Looking forward to the next part!
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Joined: May 2011
Posts: 6,142 Likes: 2
Nobel Peace Prize Winner
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Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: May 2011
Posts: 6,142 Likes: 2 |
Of course, this was her Clark. Special was a way of life. HER Clark. I LOVE it!!! He looked like his favorite toy had been taken away. Because it has! Clark asked his… hood ornament. /me wipes up the spewed Pepsi all over the screen It took only a moment for Lois to realize that Clark was kissing back… with enthusiasm! If this isn't a dream, I am going to beat Clark up just a bit. Unless that blonde is me. It had been a dream. She didn’t have breakfast dates with Clark. They didn’t stroll the streets of Metropolis hand in hand. Clark hadn’t taken up with that… girl from the office. And so it is a dream! /me drops the lead box of Kryponite and the metal baseball bat and innocently strolls away It was time for Lois Lane to act. Yes! Hurry! Run Lois Run!!!! Awww, this was way too short! I want more! Great chapter though. I loved it. 
Battle On,
Deadly Chakram
"Being with you is stronger than me alone." ~ Clark Kent
"One little spark of inspiration is at the heart of all creation." ~ Figment the Dragon
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Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 4,393 Likes: 1
Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 4,393 Likes: 1 |
It was time for Lois Lane to act. Oh, this is going to be fun! Joy, Lynn
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Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 2,532 Likes: 6
Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 2,532 Likes: 6 |
I Imagined the blonde bimbo was Lois's dream (or nightmare) but the holding hands seemed so real that I thought Lois had fallen asleep at her desk and dreamed about Clark and the floozy. Glad that it shook her enough to make her decide to take matters into her own hands.  I look forward to what she is going to do to make the rumors come true. Andreia
"My wife's love is what unites Krypton and Earth in my heart. Without it, without her, I truly would be in hell."
~ Superman: Man of Tomorrow #15
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Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 1,688 Likes: 1
Merriwether
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Merriwether
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 1,688 Likes: 1 |
Glad to see that Lois is starting to figure out her feelings about Clark. When Clark started kissing Jenny at work - I knew something was up!
Joan
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Joined: May 2009
Posts: 746
Columnist
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Columnist
Joined: May 2009
Posts: 746 |
I also thought that I missed something big from a previous part or some chapter. You really got me until Lois saw Clark holding Jenny's hand and kissing her. It was time for Lois Lane to act. This will be good! Cannot wait for tomorrow 
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Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 397
Beat Reporter
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Beat Reporter
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 397 |
Darn right it is time for Lois to act! Loved this - thank you so much and looking forward to the last chapter!
LOIS:I don't like you.
MAYSON: Really? Oh god, that is such a relief - I don't like you either.
LOIS: That makes me feel so much better
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Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 1,194 Likes: 1
Top Banana
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Top Banana
Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 1,194 Likes: 1 |
Originally posted by VirginiaR: You got me good.
That's exactly what I said. Well done, Bob!
This *is* my happily ever after.
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Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 1,371 Likes: 1
Top Banana
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OP
Top Banana
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 1,371 Likes: 1 |
I’m so pleased that the dream wasn’t super obvious. I decided to use a dream sequence because of the reference in the song (take a look at the second line in the section I quoted for this act.) I was sure that everyone would read that verse and immediately realize that this was a dream.
Again, thank you all for the feedback and I’m so happy that so many are enjoying the story.
Bob
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Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 2,837
Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 2,837 |
snork. "hood ornament" I loved it. Cute story. Now to read the wrap up.  Artemis
History is easy once you've lived it. - Duncan MacLeod
Writing history is easy once you've lived it. - Artemis
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Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 8,956 Likes: 28
Boards Chief Administrator Nobel Peace Prize Winner
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Boards Chief Administrator Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 8,956 Likes: 28 |
Being together… holding hands… it just felt right. These sorts of moments were some of the best parts of her relationship with Clark. Woah, there. They're holding hands and Lois actually thinks they're just friends? Lois had to admit that negotiating the door while holding hands was fun. They impeded the progress of a few other people trying to get into the building, but once the others realized what she and Clark were doing, they didn’t seem to mind the minor delay. What am I missing  Lois practically jumped out of her chair and hurried across the room. She reached his desk just in time to be there when this blonde hussy plopped down on Clark’s lap. Michael
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Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 1,371 Likes: 1
Top Banana
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OP
Top Banana
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 1,371 Likes: 1 |
Artemis: Re: Hood ornament. That was the image that came to mind. I'm sure that in Lois's dream, the girl looked very... ornamental. Michael: I'm glad the dream sequence held up. When I wrote the first pass and vetted it by TFB, I asked over and over if it was too obvious. In light of the song quote for this section, I thought everyone would pick it up by the end of the first paragraph. Bob
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Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 8,956 Likes: 28
Boards Chief Administrator Nobel Peace Prize Winner
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Boards Chief Administrator Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 8,956 Likes: 28 |
Yeah... I didn't really make the connection with the song  Michael
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