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Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 966
Features Writer
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OP
Features Writer
Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 966 |
I'd love to hear what you all think! Thanks!
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Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 1,686 Likes: 1
Merriwether
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Merriwether
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 1,686 Likes: 1 |
Once again, you've bridged parts of an episode so flawlessly it's hard to tell script from the new parts. Lovely insight into Clark's doubts - after having super powers, Lois may think he's not really super. Love this part: "Superman is having who you are taken from you and given away to someone else, yet still retaining your gentle grace. Superman is supporting someone you could so easily resent or envy and selflessly teaching them how to take your place. Superman is refusing to be embarrassed at a lack of power while still doing what you must to ensure that justice prevails. Superman is stopping a mugging with powers or without, protecting someone else's life even at the cost of your own, and persevering even when I'm sure you felt too tired or weak or, I don't know, *human* to keep going. *You* are Superman, Clark Kent, and I don't think that has ever been illustrated so clearly to me." Can't wait to see what you come up with next. Joan
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Beat Reporter
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Beat Reporter
Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 351 |
 Awesome job! More more!!!!!
EvelynC
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Joined: Sep 2004
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Top Banana
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Top Banana
Joined: Sep 2004
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i'm so impressed with the smooth beauty of your writing. But it's not just that - it's the insights too, and the L & C characterisation. Liked Lois' little chat with Jonathan.  c.
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Joined: Sep 2010
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Hack from Nowheresville
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Hack from Nowheresville
Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 186 |
Loved it! You captured such a sweetness and vulnerability in both Lois and Clark. Wonderful insight into this episode. 
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Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 1,200
Top Banana
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Top Banana
Joined: Jun 2010
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 Nice work! Looking forward to more! Fanfic challenge for you -- I'd love to see what you'd do with them getting back together in 'Just say Noah' 
Reach for the moon, for even if you fail, you'll still land among the stars... and who knows? Maybe you'll meet Superman along the way. 
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Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 4,058
Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 4,058 |
Clark: “If we can be born in an instant, and die in an instant, why can’t we fall in love in an instant?”
Caroline's "Stardust"
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Feb 2008
Posts: 2,823 |
Just wonderful. She had hurt him, though, Lois knew. She had seen it, no matter how he had sought to hide it. Unused to the powers that had so briefly infused her body, she had seen him hide a wince from the clasp of her hand in his or the tap of her palm against his chest or the caress of her fingers against his cheek; she had seen him bleed when her temper had gotten the best of her and his powers. Showing how much control Clark has to have, every day, every time. In fact, it was only since Clark that she even *realized* there was anything to life besides work. Another great line. That's very much Lois's character before she gets to know Clark. ...She was also struck anew by how desperately Clark protected his secret identity. It had probably never occurred to him to call her to his side, not even when the timer was only seconds from frying him. Not if the cost would be the end of her private, *normal* life. This is probably even more important these days than it was in the 1930's. Nowadays we have so many more ways to keep track of people; frankly, Big Brother is already here. No wonder Clark is so intent on keeping his "civilian" identity separate from Superman. He would never again have a moment's peace if his secret got out. I believe that the secret-keeping has been a subject of many good fics. But then, he was used to lying about his alter ego; it was, in Lois's experience, the only thing he ever lied about-or at least lied *convincingly* about. Hee hee hee! She hadn't needed to know he was Superman to know he was a hero. I love this line. But now she knew, firsthand, just exactly how *not*-normal he was. And she knew that anyone with his powers could be a hero. And she knew that without those powers, he was nothing exceptional. I also love this bit. Great Clark self-doubt. His view of himself is certainly skewed, but then, how couldn't it be? Clark couldn't quite convince himself that his vibrant Lois would be happy to return to the deaf, blind, slow, and feeble world of normality. A really interesting point. Lois, no doubt, feels the powers are a burden. But Clark sees them as normal, and being without them is a burden. It's all in the way you're brought up, I guess! A gust of superbreath knocked the two criminals to the ground, well away from Lois; a flash of heat-vision caused them to drop their weapons before they could land on them and damage themselves; a burst of superspeed saw both of the criminals bound together with a length of rusted pole that had previously been leaning against a garbage dumpster. Don't get on his bad side.  "No, Clark, they couldn't." Lois's voice was filled with such assurance that Clark couldn't help but meet her eyes. "Superman is more than a distracting Suit and some extraterrestrial powers. He's more than saving people from mudslides or bombs on planes, more even than taking down greedy robbers with a stash of red Kryptonite and a knowledge of lasers." She reached up to cradle his face between her hands. "Superman is having who you are taken from you and given away to someone else, yet still retaining your gentle grace. Superman is supporting someone you could so easily resent or envy and selflessly teaching them how to take your place. Superman is refusing to be embarrassed at a lack of power while still doing what you must to ensure that justice prevails. Superman is stopping a mugging with powers or without, protecting someone else's life even at the cost of your own, and persevering even when I'm sure you felt too tired or weak or, I don't know, *human* to keep going. *You* are Superman, Clark Kent, and I don't think that has ever been illustrated so clearly to me." Just awesome.
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Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 966
Features Writer
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OP
Features Writer
Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 966 |
Thanks for reading and leaving feedback! Watching this episode, I was always struck by how gracefully Clark handled his 'powerlessness,' and how mature Lois was with the powers. Before this story, I wasn't planning on writing any Lois&Clark stories, but I felt so much watching the episode that I just had to write this down, and now I'm having too much fun to stop! I'm glad you guys comment on the characterization since I try very hard to capture them in the right way. If I ever get it wrong, please don't be afraid to say so!  And I also love putting in those small details--it makes it a lot funner for me. Since you've mentioned it, Mozartmaid, I have now been thinking about a story set in Just Say Noah--as if I didn't have enough to think about with the other three stories I'm working on! I'll see what I can come up with! I love all the quotes--it's great when people like your words so much they'll actually repeat them! Thanks again, everyone, for commenting!
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Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 1,194 Likes: 1
Top Banana
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Top Banana
Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 1,194 Likes: 1 |
You have a real gift for internal monologue, deep insight into these characters, and a flair for illustrative detail. I liked the fact that you had Lois talk to Jonathan rather than Martha. Martha gets the spotlight more often, but you took her out of the picture in order to let us see the normally quiet Jonathan rise to the occasion. Well done. Keep writing, please.
This *is* my happily ever after.
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Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 966
Features Writer
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OP
Features Writer
Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 966 |
Thanks for the compliment! I've always loved Jonathan, and though I didn't mean to completely leave Martha out, I couldn't think of a way to squeeze her in there without making her the focus of the conversation. But, since it was so cool seeing Lois receive the same treatment, advice, help, etc. from the Kents that Clark did, I wanted to show a bit of it. Thanks again!
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Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 8,948 Likes: 28
Boards Chief Administrator Nobel Peace Prize Winner
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Boards Chief Administrator Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 8,948 Likes: 28 |
Very well done! And special kudos to the mugging scene. It made me go check out the episode again, trying to figure out if it was in there. But no, it wasn't. So, double kudos, it was just the right amount of action mixed into it Michael
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Top Banana
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Top Banana
Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 1,384 |
This was so sweet! I hadn't thought of it before, but it does seem reasonable that Clark might start to doubt. I enjoyed seeing this episode from inside of both of their heads. It was a nice read. Thanks for sharing.
"Hold on, my friends, to the Constitution and to the Republic for which it stands. Miracles do not cluster and what has happened once in 6,000 years, may not happen again. Hold on to the Constitution" - Daniel Webster
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Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 966
Features Writer
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OP
Features Writer
Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 966 |
Thanks for more feedback--it's always nice hearing what you all think of it! I did incorporate the mugging into it because, as you pointed out, it did need a bit of action mixed in with all the introspection. I had to slightly rewrite the scene with Perry at the Planet to cover for Lois's absence, but I tried not to change too much. Why tamper with greatness? And I'm so glad you enjoyed reading it--that's what I hope for when I write them. Well, that and enjoying them myself!
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Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 4,393 Likes: 1
Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 4,393 Likes: 1 |
I'm a little late to the mix, and I don't have much to add that wouldn't be a repeat of what others have said.
I do like the small touches you include -- the bit about Lois pulverizing pencils, for example, and how something as mundane as holding a writing utensil requires incredible control on Clark's part.
Joy,
Lynn
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Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 966
Features Writer
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OP
Features Writer
Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 966 |
Thanks! The small touches are sometimes what it's all about, and I try to get them right, so I appreciate the comment!
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