Lois & Clark Forums Forums Fan Fiction Lois & Clark Fanfic Chapter 17. Nighttime in the Daytime

Previous chapters: TOC

Perry has just hired Clark at the Daily Planet, but not as Lois’ partner until he proves himself with his stories. After the good news, Lois and Clark go to her apartment for a little celebration. Both are awakened by the arrival of Lucy Lane, an evacuee from the Nightfall B threat to Albuquerque. Lucy fled to Lois rather than her parent’s house because she was afraid of Admiral Sam Lane’s unhappiness at both be awakened in the too early morning and finding out she had been dating an Air Force officer at Kirtland AFB in Albuquerque after being dumped by her Marine boyfriend. She called it “inter-species dating,” much to Clark’s shock.

Previously:
Clark froze with his cup halfway to his mouth, eyes wide. ‘Inter-species dating? What the heck did she mean?’

Motoring on, Lucy continued breathlessly, “Then the asteroid came and I was evacuated with the rest of the city. Jerry had to stay and work the evacuation. I don’t know where he is. Then, after Superman saved the whole city, I hopped the next bus out of the area and here I am.”

Taking Lucy’s hand, Lois took control. “What do you mean, inter-species dating?” ‘Geez, did a tendency for such things run in her family?’

Lucy grabbed some tissues from a box that had suddenly appeared on the table and explained, “Well, he was a nice guy from Kirtland. But he’s Air Force! Dad would eat him alive! At least Harry was a Marine and hence Navy related!”

Lois heard the thump of Clark’s cup on the table and turned to look at him, noting his surprised expression for the first time. She knew what he was thinking. If Admiral Lane couldn’t stand one of his daughters dating an Air Force officer, what would he think about the other sister marrying an alien from another planet?

*+*+*+*+*+*+

Chapter 17. Nobody Knows You When You’re Down and Out.

In the early hours of the newborn day, Superman was on patrol, keeping the city safe. The stormy night was full of lightning and thunder in the sky and snow was beginning to fall. It was the seldom seen phenomenon of thunder snow! Lucy had been very lucky to make it walking to Lois’ apartment before the weather turned growly.

As he flew, he suddenly cocked his head to one side and dove lower between the buildings, following the sound of a woman’s voice. “Help! Help! He stole my car!”

Then he heard tires screeching and saw a late model car roar down the street. Without warning, the carjacker stood on the brakes and brought the car to a sudden stop. Before him stood Superman in his iconic pose, arms folded across his chest and legs splayed apart. Maybe it was just his mood, but his face looked carved in granite in the glow of the streetlights. Snow fell on his hair and shoulders and simply melted away.

The carjacker tried to back up, but Superman grabbed the front bumper, lifting the car off the ground while the rear wheels continued spinning, trying to move backwards.

Superman shook his head at the thief and said, “You are NOT going anywhere.”

In response, the carjacker jumped out of the car and started racing away, down the street, the gun he used still clutched in his hand.

Suddenly, Superman was before him there, too. The perp brought his gun up to bear on the sudden sight of Superman. For his part, Superman coolly noted it was an SG 552 commando semi-automatic rifle with a 30 round magazine sticking out below. That could irritate even Superman; it also was the type of gun being smuggled by the gun runners operating through Metropolis. His mind idling spooling the facts, Superman noted it was originally of Swiss manufacture and had probably been routed through the USA. He would have to keep tabs on this gun through the Police evidence logs.

With a feral expression on his face, the carjacker used his weapon to rain a barrage of automatic weapons fire against Superman. His expression changed to astonishment when Superman coolly began catching the bullets, crushing them and dropping them to the ground. His arms were windmilling nearly too fast to see in the dim light. As the smoke cleared, Superman was still standing before the car thief with not a rip in his spandex uniform.

The carjacker was visibly shaken and dropped the empty gun. It clattered to the pavement and he slowly raised his hands above his head. “Man, don't nothin' hurt you?”

“Not so far.” Superman looked invincible at that moment as lightning continued to split the sky overhead.

Superman grabbed the carjacker and proceeded to transport him to the nearest precinct of the MPD as snow continued to fall.

*+*+*+*+*+*+

A very worried Lois Lane sat at her desk and attempted to work on her Luthor investigation, but her mind was having none of it. She was preoccupied with Clark’s abrupt exit last night. He had seemed really upset about Lucy’s comment on so called “inter-species dating” and left hurriedly. Granted, it was time for a Superman patrol, but she had been pretty sure she could persuade him to forgo it that morning if Lucy hadn’t arrived.

As far as she knew, Lucy was still asleep on Lois’ couch. She had been really tired last night, but Lois wasn’t about to share the one bed in the apartment with her. They hadn’t shared a bed since they were teenagers in Italy. At least her new couch was more comfortable than that old white hard-as-a-board couch had been. Even Clark had had trouble sitting on it, and he was invulnerable.

Lois was planning to go by and get some groceries and see how Lucy was doing at lunch time. Then she was going to drive Lucy to her parent’s house, whether Lucy was willing to go or not.

Lucy had talked with her after Clark left early in the morning. It had taken her four days to make the bus trip from Albuquerque to Metropolis. The normal trip was a little over two days, but things had been disorganized in Albuquerque and the three required route transfers had not worked smoothly in the aftermath of the threat of Nightfall.

For the umpteenth time, Lois looked over at Clark’s empty desk. She hoped he was out finding a story to impress Perry. She looked up at the always-on news feed TV, muted to closed caption, hoping to find a Superman rescue that would give Clark a story to show Perry. So what if it was about himself? A story was a story and who knew better than Clark the details of any rescue? Thinking further, though, Lois realized that too much direct connection continuously with Superman might put themselves in danger from enemies of Superman.

That started a thought train. Who were Superman’s enemies? All he did was help and save people from natural and manmade disasters. Aha, manmade disasters. Who created these disasters? Why criminals, who wanted to rob people, take their goods, cheat them out of their livelihoods and possessions and just enrich themselves at the expense of others.

Then there were the people, such as that “3” and “9” group, who wrongly thought that Superman was the advance wave of aliens who wanted to conquer the Earth.

Hmm, that phrasing was just awkward. She needed a better name for the mysterious cult. As was her habit when thinking, Lois whetted her #2 pencil with her tongue and started writing on her pad of yellow legal paper. She wrote the numbers “3” and 9” and then “9” and “3”. In front of each set she put “Group.” No, that looked lame. So she wrote “Agency”. No, too government sounding, legitimizing the nutcases. Then in rapid succession, she wrote “authority, board, commission, committee, department, division, office, front office, service, shop, store” and ending with “salt mines” just to be snarky. Chewing the eraser, she thought back to Clark and looked up at the TV again. What did they call the FBI? That’s it! Bureau!

Writing down “Bureau 39” with a flourish, she looked at it in satisfaction. That was a much better title for the group that had confiscated Clark’s spaceinnette and stored it in the warehouse on Bessolo Blvd. Where had they found the spaceinnette? How had they found it? Well, it held Clark as an infant on his long journey from Krypton to Earth. The Kents found him in Kansas near Smallville. So that must be where they had found it.

Most of the old Project Blue Book files had been in that warehouse, plus some random stuff that looked like trash. So the Air Force or someone related to the Air Force must have searched the area. Turning to her computer, Lois searched for “Project Blue Book” because she didn’t remember the date the agency had been disbanded and General Newcomb hadn’t given them a specific date. Old trusty Infonet Encyclopedia popped up with the information.

Continuing her thinking, Lois realized that Project Blue Book couldn’t have much to do with Clark, because he was “born” June 10, 1978, nine years after Blue Book was shut down. But General Newcomb had hinted that remnants of the group carried on under their own power. Such efforts needed funding and access to information, though.
Further thinking led her to the man they suspected of being the biggest crime boss in Metropolis if not the country. Since Perry had separated them as partners, it was now her story alone. Although she was counting on a little Superman help with the further investigation required. Also she continued to hope that the FBI had found out some things and Clark could point them in the right direction. Clark was a double asset in that way.

Lex Luthor certainly had money and connections, but did he have that kind of power or obsession? Guns, drug trafficking, grift, graft and theft, she could see, but alien obsession, not so much. But she didn’t dare write that name down in public, so she just wrote “NSJ” for his apparent henchman. Then she added another column for Alien Obsession, “AO.”

On a fresh page she started over with AO with Bureau 39 underneath and then a second column headed by “NSJ” with a dollar sign underneath.

Then, of course, there was whoever had fired the nuclear warhead at Superman after he had saved the Earth from Nightfall the first time. That smacked of military connections because not everyone, even Luthor, could fire an ICBM. So she put that under ‘Bureau 39’ and called it “use of weapons,” meaning big weapons.

Lois was just drawing the “S” symbol in the center of her list, intending to try to connect the diverse groups, when she heard a soft voice behind her say, “Interesting. Very interesting.” If she had Clark’s abilities, she would have been up to the ceiling in surprise. Instead, she jumped and looked over her shoulder at Clark and whispered frantically, “Don’t startle me like that! I’m having a heart attack here!”

“Sorry,” he smiled and didn’t look repentant at all.

“Where have you been? I’ve been, ah, waiting for news of you.” The meaning of either “you” was clear.

Sitting comfortably in her guest chair, Clark smiled proudly and answered her question. “Why, out getting a story, of course.”

Lois leaned close to whisper for his ears only, “A Superman rescue?”

Clark mirrored her actions and leaned close to her and whispered back, “Not exactly.” Then he sat back and smiled again and explained in a normal voice, “There was a bank robbery at Metropolis Federal and I interviewed the police who responded to the scene.”

Raising and eyebrow, Lois pointed to the “S” symbol on her pad of paper.

Clark shook his head in the negative and his smile grew wider. “Nope. Superman didn’t appear. The cops were already there in response to the silent alarm. The robbers weren’t too bright in that they picked a bank near a Police precinct.”

“I’ve been watching the news,” Lois pointed her pencil at the TV, “and there’s been no mention on the news.”

Shrugging, Clark surmised, “Well, it was taken care of quickly and the robbers didn’t get away with anything. The whole planning didn’t seem to be very well done.” He didn’t feel the earlier carjacking incident was worth mentioning.

“Oh, O.K. I thought maybe you were…”

Clark shifted his attention from her luscious lips to her hand, which was making a weird undulating gesture, going upward.

“What’s that?” Clark asked perplexed.

“That’s Superman flying, silly.”

“Oh. Know Superman well, do you?” Clark smirked.

Whispering the response, she said, “You mean in the biblical sense?” She enjoyed Clark’s responding blush. “Shouldn’t you be writing your story?”

“Already did,” he responded quickly. In explanation he continued, “I went by home right after so I could work quickly and already sent it to Perry.”

No sooner were the words out of his mouth than Perry’s door opened and he bellowed out, “Kent, in my office!”

Smiling at Lois, Clark said, “Time to go. Let’s see how the teacher grades the student.” Getting out of Lois’ guest chair, he walked quickly but at human speed into Perry’s office and shut the door behind him. Perry was already back at his desk. Sitting across from him, Clark waited silently for Perry’s verdict.

Perry sat silently for a moment, then quiet said, “Nice story, Kent. Not Earth shaking news, but nicely written. Probably page 10 material. No sight of Superman though?”

“No. Maybe because the Police had things quickly resolved since the precinct was half a block away.”

“More fool they, then. Well, that’s all.”

Looking surprised, Clark asked, “Can I ask a question?”

“Sure, Kent. Go ahead.”

“Why did you call for me out in the newsroom if everything was O.K.?”

A large smile blossomed on Perry’s face. “Because if I didn’t, people would think you were not doing good work and weren’t part of the Planet team. Think of it as a way of announcing your arrival as a reporter.”

“Interesting strategy. I don’t think I’ve ever seen that before. You must like Lois a lot then.”

“I do, Kent. But don’t tell her. Her ego is big enough as it is.” Perry noticed a dreamy smile appear on Clark’s face and pointed his red pen at him. “That said, don’t let me find that you have ever done anything bad to her. She’s like a daughter to me.”

Then, apparently thinking twice about what he just said, he continued. “Not that she doesn’t already have a father. What do you know about Sam Lane, Kent?”

Clark noticed Perry’s narrowing eyes and penetrating gaze and shrugged. “Well, I do know his wife calls him ‘The Admiral’. I met him at the hospital after Lois’ car wreck on the I-95. And I know he is a Navy fighter jock now flying a desk in Metropolis.”

“Un Hunh. Nothing more than that?”

“Nope.”

Noticing Clark’s poker face but ignoring it, Perry continued, “Well, if you ever need my help on anything other than story editing, just let me know.”

Surprised at this turn of events, Clark was bewildered. What exactly did Perry mean? “Yeah, sure, I’ll..unh…keep that in mind.”

“Good. Now dig me up some Superman stories. He’s the hot topic of the month, maybe the year, ever since Nightfall. Things like when and how he knew about Nightfall’s danger. Wasn’t the nuclear option enough? You’re a science guy, Kent. What are the scientific answers? How did he move it away? He didn’t just say ‘shoo’ and it was gone.”

“On it, sir.”

“Call me Chief.”

“On it, Chief,” Clark replied, the rose at Perry’s dismissal nod and stopped, hand on the doorknob and looked back at Perry when he started speaking again.

“Oh, and Kent, I didn’t get to be the editor of a major metropolitan newspaper because I can yodel.”

“I’ll, unh, keep that in mind, sir…er, Chief.” He turned the knob and left the office more than a little perplexed and bewildered.

Lois watched Clark leave Perry’s office and come over to her.

“So how did it go? I wish I had superhearing,” she whispered.

“Let’s go find a conference room and I’ll tell you.” Looking around the bullpen, he saw the small conference room was open and ushered Lois that way. When they were inside and the door was closed and locked with a decisive click, Lois leapt into Clark’s arms for a kiss.

Catching her firmly, he kissed her thoroughly, then pulled his head back, still holding her gently in his arms. “Hmm, I’ve wanted to do that all morning. I wasn’t really ready to leave you when Lucy arrived.”

“She did come at an inconvenient time.”

“Most definitely. I had other plans for waking you up.” He waggled his eyebrows mock lecherously.

Even behind his glasses frames, Lois could see the movement and laughed. “I’ll just bet you did. And I would have enjoyed it. I had already started thinking about it before you woke me up fully.”

“I noticed when you pushed back into me.”

“I noticed that you noticed.”

They just grinned at each other like the fools in love they were. Then Clark set Lois back on her feet and they moved slightly apart.

Lois broke the happy moment first. “So how are you now?”

“Fine. Why?”

“You seemed a little upset by Lucy’s remark about ‘inter-species dating’ and then you left quite abruptly.”

Removing his glasses, Clark rubbed a hand across his face, admitting, “Yeah. It shook me up a bit. But our mood was broken, I had to patrol – which netted me the story by the way – and I felt you were the best person to deal with Lucy and her problems with her boyfriend. I didn’t really want to stick around for the details.” Clark shrugged and put his glasses back on. “I don’t know. Maybe that’s a man being a chicken thing.”

“Sort of like not putting the seat down?”

Startled, Clark looked at Lois and saw her eyes were twinkling. “Yeah, sort of like that. Males seem to have a resistance to the gooey stuff.”

Lois moved toward him and walked her fingers up his chest. “They don’t seem to resist when it’s their own gooey stuff.” She raised her chin.

Clark obediently lowered his mouth to hers for another kiss. As they pulled apart again, he admitted, “Yes, we like our own helping of gooey stuff. But,” he raised his index finger, “I always put the seat down when you’re around.”

Lois was back to business when she asked, “So, what did Perry want?”

“He wants Superman stories. I think maybe he thinks I have some inside knowledge from my former job, but I really don’t. The Bureau didn’t really have anything on Superman and were taking a wait and see attitude on whether he was good to his word about helping. They do have jurisdiction, since he does cross state lines. Frequently.”

“Maybe I should write those.”

Clark warned, “If you’re seen to be too close to Superman, you might be a target. He’s invulnerable. You’re not.”

Clark laid out his best reason, “Besides he wants a scientific analysis of how Superman dealt with Nightfall. I think the public still doesn’t really understand all that went on there.”

“Well, that does sound like your forte.”

“I think I’ll go interview Professor Daitch. I can’t involve Pete in the story.”

“That’s right. We should go back to work.”

Clark pulled her to himself for a goodbye kiss while they still had their privacy.

*+*+*+*+*+*+

Meanwhile, Jimmy had just come down into the bullpen admiring the new bright shiny hi-tech watch in his hand. Going to her desk, Cat noticed Jimmy’s new watch and couldn’t resist a typical Cat comment. “You start being on time, Jimmy, it'll ruin your reputation.

Immune to her barb this time, Jimmy just smiled and slipped the watch on his wrist and then held it up proudly for her inspection. “Morning, Cat. What do you think?”

Closely examining the metal expandable band, which actually looked rather cheap to her, Cat answered, “I prefer... leather.”

“I wasn't talking about fashion.”

With raised eyebrows, Cat purred, “Neither was I.”

Staring at Cat and blushing slightly, Jimmy just shook his head. If only she meant a small portion of her innuendo, life would be different. Tapping the watch, Jimmy proudly announced, “It's a S.T.A.R. Labs prototype. The Air Force needs help finding their lost pilots, but I was thinking we could use it to get in touch with Superman.”

At the mention of Superman, Cat looked closer with increased interest. “May I see that?”

Jimmy slipped the watch off and passed it to her, ostentatiously pressing the button on the side.

Suddenly inside the conference room Clark heard an ear-piercing shriek and suddenly jerked away from the kiss with Lois. A look at Lois’ puzzled face as he clamped his hands over his ears told him she didn’t hear it. Frantically he looked through the wall to the bullpen. He could barely hear Lois ask, “What is it, Clark? What’s wrong?”

Clark saw Jimmy continuing his show-and-tell with Cat by pressing a button on the wrist device.

Lois asked Clark, “You okay, Clark?

“Just a minute. I need to fix something.” Practically tearing the door to the conference room off its hinges, he tore out toward Jimmy, Lois following quickly.

As Lois emerged she saw Cat shake her head at Jimmy in disappointment. “I can't hear anything.”

Jimmy was explaining in a really excited tone, “You're not supposed to. It's hypersonic!”

“The man's a super-hero, Jimmy, not a dog,” Cat protested.

Suddenly, Clark rushed up to Cat and grabbed the watch from her, finding the button on the side and pushing it off. He heaved a sigh of relief when it was silenced. “What is this thing?” He had barely restrained himself from crushing it.

Jimmy explained enthusiastically, “It's a signal watch. Superman has super-hearing, right? We need him, we call.”

Cat said to Lois as she came up beside Clark to see what was going on, “I’d rather call ‘Help Superman.’ Wouldn’t you, Lois?”

Clark said, “It's like my mother always said, Jimmy, ask first.”

Jimmy replied, looking slightly hurt, “Smart mom, C.K. Will do.”

*+*+*+*+*+*+

Two weeks later…

In Wichita, Kansas, Mrs. Koon walked briskly through Sheffield’s Department store to the Designer Bridal Gown store. She asked the nearest sales clerk, “Is Rita Ross here today?”

“Yes, Ma’am. She’s over by the dressing rooms.” The clerk pointed the way toward the back.

“Thank you, young lady.” Mrs. Koon carried her small box and approached Rita with enthusiasm. “There you are, Rita,” she exclaimed on finding her quarry.

“Oh, Mrs. Koon,” Rita replied politely. “How did the wedding go? Was Emily happy?”

“It was wonderful and Emily was very happy. The gown was perfect. The only problem was some rain, but that was to be expected and the large pavilion saved us all!”

“Oh, I’m so glad,” Rita replied. She liked Mrs. Koon. She had that old time Kansas flair.

“In appreciation for your extra work on the gown and your very good suggestions for the fit, I want to give you this.” Mrs. Koon extended the box out to Rita. It was a white box wrapped with just a simple ribbon and bow.

“Why thank you, Mrs. Koon! I didn’t expect anything like this. How generous of you!” Accepting the box, which seemed like a jewelry box, Rita slid off the ribbon and opened the box and then exclaimed, “Oh, it’s gorgeous!” Lifting out the necklace, she examined the beautiful green stones, one large one surrounded by two smaller ones. A gold chain linked them together. “Why this is just lovely, and so cleverly designed. And earrings, too!”

Smiling in pleasure at Rita’s appreciation, Mrs. Koon leaned forward and confided, “I have a friend who makes these jewelry pieces. The stone is Kansas quartz. It comes in many colors from rose red to this bright green. Although, I must say this is the deepest green I have ever seen. It almost glows on its own. There’s a little card in the box that explains the stone.”

Reading the card, Rita said, “It says it is prasiolite from Marion County. Oh, Marion County! That’s home. I’m from Smallville.”

“Well, then you’ll really enjoy it. It’s made from a piece of home.”

After Mrs. Koon left following more expressions of thanks, Rita looked again at the necklace. The earrings were long and dangling and the stones were really large. She wasn’t sure where she would wear something like this. “Maybe I’ll give it to Lois as a present,” she mused. Thrifty farm girls regifted. It certainly was pretty.

*+*+*+*+*+*+

It was a scene out of a cold war movie. Two middle aged men were sitting side by side on a park bench in Centennial Park at night in the snow all bundled up in trench coats. They spoke with wisps of warm breath meeting cold temperatures to the air in front of them, not turning and looking at each other, as if somebody would mistake them for random strangers, all alone with each other in the deserted park. The snow of late February fell on their bare heads. The bare trees, stripped of their leaves by the winter, did nonetheless provide them some relief from the inclement weather.

Finally, the shorter of the two sighed a world weary sigh. “What are we going to do?”

The taller man snorted his disgust at the world situation. “Dammit, he survived the nuke and then he had to go save Albuquerque! Actually, I was hoping it was going to hit Los Alamos. That would have been fun! I really hate those pinheads there.”

Waving his gloved hands, the shorter one continued voicing his frustration. “Since then, he’s been rescuing people all over the world! The public adores him and calls him a hero! Now all his buddies are going to come and take over.”

“Not if we can help it!”

“That’s nice to say, Track, but what are we going to do? We already took our best shot – literally – and it failed. Even the President thinks he’s hot stuff. I don’t know if I can work those inside channels anymore.”

Peevishly, the tall one said, “Don’t call me by my Academy nickname, you fool. We may have the same graduation date inside our hats, but I outrank you 3 stars to your one, Robby the Robot!”

Robby just shook his head and leaned forward, elbows on his thighs. “We need a weapon better than a nuke. Well, something that works on him better than a nuke. Why’d you pull that stunt at the last minute?” He really wanted to add ‘out of your ass’, but he really couldn’t say that to a superior officer, even if they had been roommates at the Air Force Academy.

“Maybe there’s something in that pile of UFO junk Thompson has in storage. I don’t know what it would be, though.”

“Well, he did an inventory check and one of the spaceships is missing.”

“Missing? How can something be missing? Who took it?”

Still with his elbows on his thighs, Robby elevated his hands in an open shrug gesture. There was barely enough light from the far off streetlights to see it. “Him, I suppose. The little supply ship had that “S” logo on it that he wears on his chest. The ship was too small to carry him to Earth from where ever he was hatched. Also the file from Smallville is missing. That file explained exactly where they found that particular ship.”

“Smallville? Doesn’t sound like a big place to search.”

“It’s a farming community in Kansas, not too far from Wichita.”

“Tell Thompson to take his boys and go search there.”

“For what?”

Incredulous, the taller man turned and looked down at the shorter man, “For anything connected to the flying freak, you idiot!”

High above them, clad in his black leather flying gear from the time before he became a public hero, Clark watched in consternation as General Jason Trask and General Robert Zeitlin left their separate ways from the park bench, each in different directions. As if that would fool anyone!

But Clark was worried. Was there something out there that could harm him? So far, he’d been pretty tough to kill or defeat. But maybe there was something. It would bear watching. He would have to thank Professor Daitch for the tip on Trask and Zeitlin.

*+*+*+*+*+*+

The next morning, Lois and Clark emerged from the revolving doors into the lobby of the Daily Planet. Lois was frustrated. “How many is that,” she asked Clark.

Clark replied with a triumphant smile, “Six.”

Lois counted on her fingers, “Dancer, Prancer, Comet, Blitzen, Dasher, Cupid... Donner...”

“That’s seven,” Clark replied not so helpfully. “One more, Lois, just one more.”

“Donner...,” repeated Lois, frustrated.

“You're stuck.” Clark grinned as they crossed the lobby to the elevators.

“I am not stuck,” Lois denied as they entered the empty elevator. Then she relented, “I’m stuck.”

“Five bucks. 'Bucks', get it?” Clark pushed the button for the newroom floor.

“Okay, okay. Just tell me the name.” Lois turned to Clark in frustration.

He grabbed her around the waist and brought her lips up to his. “Vixen,” he said softly, and then kissed her hard.

The elevator started to ascend and Lois asked, “Double or nothing?”

“Okay. If you loose, you kiss me? How about – the Seven Dwarfs?”

“You're on. Piece of cake.”

Clark breathed, “Go.”

Lois pulled back a little to unfog her mind and began reciting, “Happy, Dopey, Doc, Sneezy, Sleepy, Grumpy...”

“That's six.”

“Sleezy?”

Clark laughed and shook his head, still holding Lois around the waist. “Only in the porno version,” he winked.

“Dippy, bippy, sloppy, wheezy...Joe, Steve...” Lois reached to kiss Clark anyway, but he held her back.

“Time's up. That's ten kisses you owe me.”

“I hate this, I hate this. Tell me.”

“It's so obvious. Bashful.” He leaned in for another kiss. They remained lip locked until they slowed to a stop and turned to face the door to look professional as they emerged. As they walked to their desks, Clark recited in an undertone, “Doc, Grumpy, Happy, Sleepy, Bashful, Sneezy, and Dopey.”

As they reached the coat rack to hang up their coats, Lois protested, “You and your eidetic memory! No fair.”

*+*+*+*+*+*+

No sooner had they hung up their coats, walked to their desks and Clark had brought them both coffee done just as they liked it, when Perry emerged from his office and bellowed, “Lane! In my office now!” As an apparent afterthought, he also said, “Oh, and Kent, you come too.”

Lois and Clark left their coffees and came into Perry’s office and sat. Lois, with her long experience with Perry, calmly said, “What’s up, Chief?”

Clark, not so calmly, just wisely remained silent.

Perry leaned back in his chair and simply looked at the two of them for a moment, then leaned forward. “Well, I said I wouldn’t partner you two up on a story …” Perry’s right elbow sat on his desk and he metronomed the arm, pointing from one to the other, back and forth, driving Clark crazy but Lois remained apparently unfazed.

“But we just got a news feed from Wichita, Kansas that some government agency is in tearing up the ground around Smallville with bulldozers and kicking the farmer and his family out of their house.” The metronome stopped and pointed to Clark. “Isn’t that where you are from, Clark?”

Clark was surprised. He hadn’t heard anything from Pete or Rita or his Mom, Sarah. “Yes, sir,” he replied automatically. That earned him a glare from Perry. “Er, yes, Chief.”

Perry nodded in satisfaction. “Evidently they are concerned with excess pesticides around the farms of…” Drifting off, Perry searched his desk, and then continued. “Dr. Roger Ross and a man named Clark Kent. You haven’t heard of this, Clark?”

Lois and Clark looked at each other in consternation. Clark replied, mystified, “No, Chief. No one called me.” At Perry’s stare, Clark explained further. “The Rosses are my foster family and raised me from the age of 10. Dr. Ross handled my estate and returned my farm to me when I reached my majority.”

Perry replied, “Any idea about excess pesticides in the farming?”

Clark snorted in derision at the very idea. “Dr. Ross is a General Practitioner for the area and farms organically. My farm has been fallow for the last several years. I’ve been trying to lease the farmland to earn income, but there haven’t been any takers.” Shrugging an explanation he continued, “That’s why I joined the FBI and why I’m here. To earn some livelihood. I can’t exist on air.” He patently ignored Lois’ almost inaudible snort. Inaudible, that is, to anyone but him.

Perry pointed to them one after the other. “Sounds like a story to me. Lois here is the experienced reporter, but it involves your farm, Clark. So you should both go and find out what the feds want. Can you find out anything from the FBI, fed to fed?”

Shaking his head no, Clark replied, “No, all my links are severed since they fired me for losing my memory.” His tone told Perry and Lois he still wasn’t happy about that whole situation.

Lois replied, “Let Clark go then. I'll stay and watch for Superman and write up his stories here.”

Clark turned to look at Lois in puzzlement and then noticed a hand gesture that indicated she would explain later.

Perry continued. “Now, Lois let's keep an open mind here. 'The Poisoning of America.' I'm seeing a Planet special investigation!”

Gesturing dismissively, Lois continued in the same vein. “Really? I'm seeing guys in overalls discussing hog futures.”

Now it was Clark’s turn for a soft cough.

Perry countered her argument with, “Private property rights versus the public good.”

Continuing her fake protest, Lois reposted, “We've got that story here in Metropolis.”

Slipping into an apparently familiar cat and mouse game, Perry said, “Urban and rural. It's the same story. Same problem. Sometimes it's easier to understand in a smaller setting. A microcosm as it were.”

Lois returned serve as if the dirt of the farm was clinging to her feet. “It’s Smallville! I can see having a glimpse of ritual crop worship and going to a ‘Corn Festival’.”

“Hey there,” Clark protested softly.

Slamming the previously waving arm, Perry slammed it onto his desk. “Okay. I'm done arguing. Yeah, I got you, Lois. That's probably how the first reporter at Love Canal felt. Say, didn't that reporter pull in a Pulitzer Prize?”

*+*+*+*+*+*+
Tbc
Artemis

Lyrics:
Nobody loves you when you’re down and out
Nobody sees you when you’re on cloud nine
Everybody’s hustling for a buck and a dime
I’ll scratch you back and you scratch mine

I’ve been across to the other side
I’ve shown you everything, I got nothin’ to hide
And still you ask me do I love you, what it is, what it is
Everytime I put my finger on it, it slips away
Everytime I put my finger on it, it slips away

Well I get up in the morning and I'm looking in the mirror to see, ooo wee!
Then I'm lying in the darkness and I know I can't get to sleep, ooo wee!

Nobody loves you when you're old and grey
Nobody needs you when you're upside down
Everybody's hollerin' 'bout their own birthday
Everybody loves you when you're six foot in the ground

--John Lennon