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Kerth
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Kerth
Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 2,122 Likes: 1 |
Mr Kent had finished his lunch. He brushed his teeth and used water from his bottle to wash his face and hands. He even tried to finger-comb his hair but gave up when it became obvious that he was achieving very little.
It was almost as if he were preparing for company.
He couldn't be expecting her ... surely.
Once he'd finished his 'preparations', he went to his place against the back wall and continued with the crossword puzzle.
Lois filled her lungs and slowly released the air.
She felt good.
Ready.
"Let's do it, King," she muttered as she locked her office door. When she reached the bottom of the stairs, she checked that the external door was locked.
Then she went to the cell door, unlocked it, and pushed it open. She dragged a chair into the doorway to ensure that it couldn't shut and lock.
Then she stepped into the cell. Thanks! Corrina.
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Blogger
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Blogger
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Such a great story, but I think you next part has the moment I have most been waiting for. I am torn whether he isn't talking out of disuse and conditioning or if from the surgery. There was another story that talked about sterilizing aliens and this too crossed my mind. Although, with him healing, is there any physical wound he can't heal with the sun and reduced K exposure?
I love that she is trusting her gut. She is trusting him, but more importantly she is trusting herself again.
Kyla
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Kerth
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Kerth
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Delightful part. She would walk into the cell - without a rod - and she would speak to Mr Kent. Face to face. Why do I get the feeling something bad is going to happen?
Framework4
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Beat Reporter
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Beat Reporter
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How fast can the next 2-3 days go till you post again? Not fast enough! Loving this story and every part has me yearning for more. Please post soon!  Cheers Elizabeth
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Merriwether
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Merriwether
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First of all, I want to say that the staccato style of this chapter, with all the single line paragraphs, works very well here. It really heightens the sense of Lois's indecision, both in her thoughts and her actions. Nice choice. Lois snatched at a packet of size 34-36 - one pair blue, one pair red Heh, super color choices.  Surely, other women bought male clothes. Surely, wives bought male underwear.
But she wasn't wearing a ring. Wait ... how long has Lois been out of the country?? Men and women live together all the time without being married, and it was certainly common by the early-90's. Her recent traumatizing assignment aside, I would think an experienced CIA agent wouldn't even blink at something like this. Not to mention one tough enough to stand up to Moyne. She stood. She waited, watching him, her hands on the doorjamb, one foot just inside the cell, the other in the staffroom.
Mr Kent didn't move for what seemed like a long time.
Then, his hand flattened against the wall, and he rose slowly to his feet. My eyes widened at this change and things went very still in my mind ... She put the piece of paper on the table and quickly folded it into a paper airplane. Then I started reading faster ... He backed away ... into the far corner of the room.
Then he slid down the wall and sat.
Lois's legs felt like hardened concrete. Her heart was pulsating in her eardrums. Her lungs couldn't seem to get enough oxygen. And faster. But you know what? Now it's Lois whose heart is pounding when I read this story, not mine. Because I now have hope. Yay! 
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
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I haven't commented lately - real life has become something of a bear - but I'm still following this one closely, Corrina. I really like the short, choppy sentences you're using, and I like the opposing points of view between Lois and Clark. You're like a boxer throwing jab after jab, just setting up your readers for the crushing power punch we can see coming but against which we have no ability to dodge or even brace ourselves.
When Lois walked to the cell and spoke to Linda as if she were still there, it was a sign that she's made real progress in dealing with her partner's death. I think the only way you could have made that relationship more poignant would have been to make Mayson her best friend and partner.
They're learning to trust each other. And they're both learning to trust the future. Even though there are probably some really serious difficulties ahead for each of them, there's a light at the end of their respective tunnels. What neither of them realizes yet is that the light is fueled by the other person, and that their journeys have a common destination.
I wonder if Lois will ask Clark to work with her as her new partner? I can't imagine Clark agreeing to that, unless he does it completely under cover (no pun intended) and totally outside the agency's control. Even then, he'd want some influence - if not control - over where Lois goes and what she does when she's there.
We still don't know what happened to the Kents. We don't know why Clark doesn't speak. We don't know what that "operation" was all about. We don't know what influence Moyne still has (or believes that he has). And we really don't know which side of the fence Scardino is on.
Ready for the next chapter! I'm waiting for the face-to-face meeting. It's gonna be a hum-dinger!
Life isn't a support system for writing. It's the other way around.
- Stephen King, from On Writing
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
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Pins and friggin needles! I cannot wait for a face-to-face confrontation. A million questions Lois could ask. I may just tear my hair out in the interim. JD 
"Meg...who let you back in the house?" -Family Guy
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
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Oh I am loving this fiction. I am so impatient though! I want the next chapter to be now! LOL. I can't wait. More more more! Great job. Laura
Clark: “If we can be born in an instant, and die in an instant, why can’t we fall in love in an instant?”
Caroline's "Stardust"
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Beat Reporter
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Beat Reporter
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Yes, I'm dying for the next part, too. But you really gave us so much in this part that I am very happy! I am, however, hoping that nothing bad happens, that Moyne does NOT come back, but I'm sure there have to be some bumps in the road ahead of them; I hope they are small ones. I would imagine that it would be best to introduce the new underwear to be given to him while one of the others is there to put it in the room, so they won't suspect her of going in by herself, enabling her to keep at least some of her pretended aloofness-- She could say that she doesn't want to see his nakedness and his shorts are falling apart-- could sound plausible maybe...  What an incredible story!! 
EvelynC
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Freelance Reporter
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Freelance Reporter
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As always, another great part. I keep trying to wait to read it so there isn't so much time in between but I just can't! Ha! A few minutes later, Mr Kent rose from the floor and began to run. For the next half an hour - while he ran, and did push ups, and sit ups, and stretches - Lois managed to read not one word of the book.  this line made me laugh. I have to say, I'm completly with Lois on this one.
I heart Clark Kent.
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Beat Reporter
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Beat Reporter
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This part was amazing, Corrina. I really liked Lois's conflict and how she's chosen to trust her gut. I'm not sure how to explain it, but you wrote it in such a way that it's really easy to get inside the situation. You can follow Lois's logic, you can understand just exactly how Clark is feeling and why he chooses to act the with her so careful. I can't wait to read the next part! Is there anyway we can bribe you and make you post sooner? 
Cris
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Top Banana
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Top Banana
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Cris said: I can't wait to read the next part! Is there anyway we can bribe you and make you post sooner? I'll chip in! Do you accept paypal? I loved the scene with the paper airplane. And the fact that Clark sends it directly to her each time. And, even though it's not technically in the part I'm supposed to be commenting about, I also loved Clark's "preparations". hehe. But you are  How could you end it there? Are we really expected to wait 2-3 days? Nooooo!
"Hold on, my friends, to the Constitution and to the Republic for which it stands. Miracles do not cluster and what has happened once in 6,000 years, may not happen again. Hold on to the Constitution" - Daniel Webster
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Boards Chief Administrator Nobel Peace Prize Winner
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Boards Chief Administrator Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 8,948 Likes: 28 |
A ridiculous idea.
An unrelenting idea. Male stripper’s underwear? A young man - probably in his early twenties - walked into the aisle and began perusing the rows of briefs. Would he think she was ogling the half-naked male bodies on the packaging? But what will happen once he gets 8 hours a day of Lois-time? Surely, his proclivity for neatness didn't extend to – One never knows. After all, he does regularly back up his hard drive, too. Lois groaned as comprehension sparked in her brain. He was bored. And so is she. What could a bored Lois and a bored Clark do while they’re alone for several hours? Was this too much like he was the patron in a restaurant? /nods emphatically/ Reminds me of room service He hadn't checked her little squares, but he had written:
'Either. Tea - milk, no sugar. Coffee - milk, 2 sugars. Thank you.' He certainly wants to talk. Oh, and while I read the last part’s tea episode, I couldn’t help but wonder if he might respond with a ‘Thanks, but please get me some Oolong tea the next time. Use a tea egg and pre-heat the teapot.’ Lois reached into the tray and picked out a fork *and* a knife. A small part of her reared up in protest at the thought of giving an accused killer a knife, but she refused to be swayed. But he doesn’t need a knife. He has hands. She would walk into the cell - without a rod - and she would speak to Mr Kent. Face to face. Ooooh. What would happen if she managed to lock herself inside? This was wonderful surprise first thing in the morning! Michael
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Columnist
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Columnist
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Have I mentioned before that you are a very talented writer? Because you are - it felt like I was inside the compound and prison with Lois ... my heart also beat faster when she was in there, because even though we know the prisoner is actually a good person, there still remains some element of surprise  I loved that Lois got him the clothes and can also understand why she hasn't given it to him yet ... there is an imaginable boundary that she doesn't want to cross, for very good reasons (like Shadbolt and Longford not running to Scardino), but she will inevitably cross them anyway. I, too, loved their communication and exchange of notes and the aeroplane idea was really inspired And I am looking forward to their face-to-face meeting - maybe some of the questions we readers have regarding the prisoners lack of speech will be answered? More please (and I hope soon too - if not, the time should pass quickly until the next part!) and ... I can't wait to read the next part! Is there anyway we can bribe you and make you post sooner? I'll chip in too? But what to bribe you with? Clues will be appreciated!
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Hack from Nowheresville
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Hack from Nowheresville
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Loved every bit of this part, having said that I can't wait to read the next bit. Maybe the only reason Clark hasn't spoken yet is that he's simply waiting for Lois to do so first? He is after all always the gentleman. This morning when I was showering, I found myself thinking about the fact that it's been over 7 years since Clark has had a shower, and then I realized how much this story has taken over my random musings.  I'm chalking it off to its brilliance I want to echo others sentiments about the pacing and style of this section. I found it worked well mirroring the state of Lois's mind. To me Lois's shopping insecurities fit the essential character of Lois Lane - hard-nosed on the job, be it reporter or agent, but able to feel deeply and perhaps be embarrassed by the novel experience of buying male underwear. Always glad to get inside Clark's head. Now he felt as if the most precious thing in his life had been ripped away. *sniff* Worst part about hope is that it can be taken away again. Poignant that Lois is musing on the same subject, acknowledging that she eventually will have to leave him.  *hopes this is never the case* Things to give him back a small scrap of self-worth - a haircut, socks and shoes, the means to shave if he wished to, scissors so he could cut his nails instead of having to bite them off. I've been wondering when this would come up, concurrently trying to diagnose the "state of Clark's powers". Will he or won't he be able to employ the traditional methods for his shave and haircut? I can imagine the awkward "Um, I need a mirror so I can shave with my heat vision" note. The paper airplane interlude was adorable. It rekindled a spark of youthful vitality that she'd thought had gone forever.
And engulfed her with playfulness ... frivolity.
It was powerfully persuasive ... and Lois found that she didn't want to resist. Glad that she is able to regain this part of herself. She would walk into the cell - without a rod - and she would speak to Mr Kent. Face to face.  Can. Not. Wait.
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Hack from Nowheresville
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Hack from Nowheresville
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One more thought on the talking... Shadbolt said that the prisoner had talked in the beginning, but his attempts to communicate had already ceased by the time Shadbolt arrived a week later. But the surgery didn't occur until over 6 months later so the two aren't related? Then that of course begs the question what other horrible things could the surgery have involved? *shudders*
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Top Banana
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Top Banana
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Exactly. That's my confusion, too. If the prisoner spent day and night yelling to be set free, screaming his innocence, etc. I can see Trask taking drastic measures to shut him up. But, if he hadn't spoken a word in over a month...? Yet. I can't shake the feeling that the operation is the reason he doesn't talk.
"Hold on, my friends, to the Constitution and to the Republic for which it stands. Miracles do not cluster and what has happened once in 6,000 years, may not happen again. Hold on to the Constitution" - Daniel Webster
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Kerth
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Kerth
Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 2,122 Likes: 1 |
Wow! Thank you all for the lovely FDK. I have just a couple of minutes while I eat breakfast - I'm heading to the other side of the city to visit my son Part 5 is shortish and ends on a horrible cliffy, so it was always my intention to post parts 5 and 6 not too far apart. My suspicion is that it is part 6 that will finally give you what you want. I've just done another fic-long edit and the good news is that 5 and 6 are ready to go. The bad news is that my buffer is shrinking because I'm still working on 14. So - here's the deal. I'll give you 5 and 6 reasonably quickly - and then there will be a break of 4-5 days while I rebuild my buffer. Sound OK? I really appreciate your interest and enthusiasm for this fic. I'm having fun writing it - and it's just so amazing that others are enjoying the ride, too. Corrina. PS definition of 'reasonably quickly' - best case - 5 tonight, 6 tomorrow morning. Otherwise 5 tomorrow morning, and 6 within 24 hours.
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Top Banana
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Top Banana
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LOVE THIS STORY!! Now he felt as if the most precious thing in his life had been ripped away.
*Had* her nightmare been about him?
Had contact with him freaked her out completely? Poor Clark! 'Thank you for everything you have done for me.'
The word 'everything' was underlined twice.
His handwriting was neat and flowing. Again, I want to weep... Why didn't he speak?
Had Trask and Moyne done something to ensure that Mr Kent would never speak again? To guarantee that he could never tell of their atrocities? Yes indeed! Why doesn't he speak?? The mystery of the age... or at least one of the mysteries of this story! I feel like Lois is slowly coming back to life as well with the little things she's doing for him. Which is why she suddenly decided to play paper airplanes, I think. It's all so sweet and heartbreaking at the same time... She would walk into the cell - without a rod - and she would speak to Mr Kent. Face to face. Oh, yes, please!!  Love this story!! Can't WAIT for the next part!!
Reach for the moon, for even if you fail, you'll still land among the stars... and who knows? Maybe you'll meet Superman along the way.
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Hack from Nowheresville
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Hack from Nowheresville
Joined: Aug 2008
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I am loving this story so much!! I also noticed the color choices... Red boxers and a navy blue shirt??? Hmmmm.... I've noticed that in Lois' mind, she doesn't refer to Clark as "the prisoner". She says that when she's around Shadbolt or Longford, but she doesn't say it when she's thinking about him. She thinks of him as "Mr. Kent". This shows how far she's come. She thinks of him as a person with a name. Not just someone she has to guard. I'm looking forward to when she finds out his first name. As for the talking (if there's not a physical reason), it must be difficult to start speaking when you haven't for seven years.....
Perry: (To Lois) Honey, this could be greatest story since Superman came to town. By-the-by, where is that husband of yours?
--Faster Than a Speeding Vixon
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