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#72352 06/20/10 10:01 AM
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This is by far the longest straight-forward, non-gimmicky, A-plot heavy story I have written thus far. ("The Case of the Flying Man" doesn't count, since it used the gimmick of a crossover; moreover, half of the story was simply a Sherlock Holmes pastiche in which I got to use Dr. Watson's voice.) It proved to be a fun learning experience for me.

I wish once again to thank my BRs, Female Hawk (Corrina) and Ray. It amazes me how much better this version of the story is than the original version; and the vast majority of the improvements are attributable directly to them.

As always, feedback welcomed.

Joy,
Lynn

#72353 06/20/10 03:33 PM
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Cute story. Thanks. Keep em coming. Laura


Clark: “If we can be born in an instant, and die in an instant, why can’t we fall in love in an instant?”

Caroline's "Stardust"
#72354 06/20/10 04:32 PM
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"Cloark"

Tee-hee!

#72355 06/21/10 01:23 AM
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Fun fic. I was glad to see Lois and Clark share the spotlight in this one.

Ann

#72356 06/21/10 07:50 PM
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I always hated that Lois turned Clark down in this episode. I always wanted him to just propose and provide that consistency and permanence that she so desired. But, I didn't write the script.

I've always known that Luthor was capable of so much more than he didi on the series. He was a creep!! I mean what normal human being without an evil soul would have a stand off with a cobra just because?

Anyway this story was a great display of how Lois stands behind Clark and sees through Luthor. This was their thick and thin. I loved it, Lynn! I'm glad that you tweaked this episode!

~Sheila


I'm a firm believer in the fact that God doesn't put any more on us than we can bear. He does however make us come to Jesus every so often.
#72357 06/22/10 09:28 AM
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My thanks to the four of you for leaving me feedback.

Laura, thank you for asking for more stories! You gave me one of the highest compliments - possibly even the highest one - that an author can receive. There is a very quirky story in the works right now; it is not post-worthy yet, but I have hopes for it.

Iolanthe, Why should Clois get all the fun? ;-)

Ann, Then you'll really love the aforementioned quirky story. It is almost entirely an extremely-early-S1 Lois story. Version 1.0 of the story does not even have Clark or Superman in it - at least, not directly. That may change as the story is edited; but even if it does, they will at most make a cameo appearance.

Sheila, I suspect we have Deborah Joy LeVine to thank for Lois' rejection of Clark as a suitor. At least they did get together eventually in canon; I just expedited the process a little in my story.

I must admit that I never really got that cobra scene. confused I mean, I can see it showing that he enjoys a challenge, even a deadly one; that he likes to live on the edge; perhaps even (if one wishes to read Biblical allusions into it) that he is more evil than the devil himself. But somehow, the scene just doesn't seem to me to mesh with everything else we know about him. IMHO, having a showdown with a cobra "just because" is an act of insanity. And Lex may be many things - evil, ruthless, conniving, egocentric, and so on - but he does not strike me as insane, and he seems to me to have a very (overly?) healthy desire for self-preservation, at least at the start of the series. huh

In any event, I am glad you liked my story. smile

Joy,
Lynn

#72358 06/22/10 10:41 AM
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I love it when Lois sees through Luthor - this was cute and fun, Lynn.

As for that cobra - I always thought the idea behind that was to prove how evil Lex was. The cobra slithers in, he stares at it, it backs off and heads off in the other direction. I always thought we were supposed to surmise that even a cobra spots how dangerous Lex is and decides that retreat is the better part of valour.

I think Lex's reasoning was supposed to be that he enjoyed proving his dominion over everything and everyone, even a cobra. It's something dangerous and it recognises something in him that's more dangerous than it is and that appeals to his ego.

Which doesn't make it an any less dumb scene, but there you go.... laugh

LabRat smile



Athos: If you'd told us what you were doing, we might have been able to plan this properly.
Aramis: Yes, sorry.
Athos: No, no, by all means, let's keep things suicidal.


The Musketeers
#72359 06/23/10 04:57 AM
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I don't know why, but this line made me LOL:

"And he did so dislike asset depreciation."

Keep writing, Lynn!


This *is* my happily ever after.
#72360 06/23/10 06:03 AM
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Quote
As for that cobra - I always thought the idea behind that was to prove how evil Lex was.
If you read the script online here (page 178), you'll find the following exchange.

Quote
Superman walks back onto the terrace, Luthor following. As
Luthor watches, Superman begins a slow vertical ascent.

SUPERMAN
One other thing. If you ever need
to find me, all you have to do is
look _up_

Luthor does, indeed, have to look up as he watches the Man
of Steel go ever higher, then disappear into the clouds.
Luthor turns, walks back into his study, his anger
building. At that moment, Asabi enters carrying a wet
suit, oxygen tank, and harpoon.

ASABI
The tank is ready sir. The Mako is
a particularly fine specimen.

LUTHOR
Send it back to the aquarium.

ASABI
Sir?

Luthor slowly walks to his desk, sits down in his chair,
swivels it toward the lights of the city.

LUTHOR
I have bigger fish to fry.
The part about Asabi, the scuba gear, and the shark didn't make it to the screen. But this shows that Luthor's intent was to test himself against every conceivable opponent - until Superman showed up and became his number one obsession. (Lois, of course, supplanted Superman in Lex' personal obsession list in "Pheromone, My Lovely.")

I don't know why. Either Lex was a compulsive sociopath or he just felt lonely and needed a really good hug.


Life isn't a support system for writing. It's the other way around.

- Stephen King, from On Writing
#72361 06/24/10 01:26 AM
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LabRat and Terry, Thank you. I understand the scene a little better. I agree, Labrat, that it doesn't make the scene less dumb - only more intelligible.

HappyGirl, I was smiling when I wrote that line. I had hoped that it would strike others as amusing, as well...albeit in a nervous-laughter sort of way. (After all, it is showing just how depraved Lex really is.)

Joy,
Lynn

#72362 07/17/10 07:12 AM
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Lynn, this was a great story! The romantic in me (oh wait, that's all of me lol) loves that Lois reciprocated Clark's feelings when he first expressed them...it would've been so nice if it had happened that way on the show, but I guess they just had to keep us in suspense for longer. :p Lex is so evil! (Like that's news to anyone haha...well, maybe to Lois, but we FoLCs weren't fooled for a moment!) Can't believe Clark was about to tell Lois his secret when the police showed up...talk about rotten timing! I love how you got inside his head while he's in prison...how upset he is about not being able to help anyone, while at the same time worrying about more trivial things like shaving and floating. And I loved the line about Lois's definition of "foolish" including fewer things than Clark's - it's so true! Also, the way she almost figured out his secret, but then dismissed it as far-fetched, was a nice touch - it's hard to believe that such a brilliant reporter as Lois Lane wouldn't have had even the slightest suspicion in two years of working side-by-side with Clark and being closer to Superman than anyone else! Having the suspicion but dismissing it seems a lot more logical, to me anyway. (The fic I'm working on at the moment actually deals with that concept, lol) Loved, loved, loved Lex singing from the Mikado!! My roommate (the same one who hooked me on L&C) is also a big Gilbert & Sullivan fan, and she's shown me several of their videos, so that was a nice touch. I love how Clark didn't hesitate a moment to tear off the anklet when he heard Lois's call - definitely in character for him! And the revelation scene after that was really well-done. Thumbs up! thumbsup


~*Monica*~

"Being with you is stronger than me alone."

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