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I really liked the idea behind this story, but I wasn't too sure about the actual execution of it; specifically, the pacing. I hope it wasn't too slow.

cheers,
Lynn

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Kerth
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Kerth
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Well, of course it's a bit slower than usual, he's not using super-speed ;-)


Marcus L. Rowland
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Hack from Nowheresville
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thumbsup Great job, Lynn! And, of course, enjoyed the "Ah ha"! moment that you inserted in the hour after the coffee break.

clap Lola


"We're both barefoot, both flushed, and we both look guilty as hell. Clark has finger-combed his hair but I'm positive mine looks like I was just f… fished out of the river."

<3 this fic!
'The Next Step' By Sue S.

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Hack from Nowheresville
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Enjoyed reading this story.

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No plot. No relationship progress. No personal drama (unless you count the subway and the coffee). Nothing really happened. It was almost like an episode of Seinfeld.

But it was also a fascinating insight into the mind of Superman. You showed us how he was tempted to break his self-imposed vow (the car wreck, the coffee, the mugging) but stuck to his word to himself, demonstrating his innate honesty and integrity. You also showed us his compassion and understanding in the closing, when he wondered how "normal" people get through the day.

All in all, this is an excellent story. It's just the right length, and the almost-hourly journal entries bring an immediacy to the tale. You've also captured Clark's Boy Scout mentality early on when he berates himself for "cheating" on the island with the water and the tiger. You held my interest all the way through and left me with a smile. Good job.


Life isn't a support system for writing. It's the other way around.

- Stephen King, from On Writing
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That was a fun little read! The mention of Tempus definitely made me laugh. And I loved this:
Quote
2) I never realized how tough the rest of the world has it -- and they call me Super?!?
You did a great job of showing just how much Clark takes his powers for granted!

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Deja Vu beat me to it, but never mind:

Quote
I am glad the day is over and that tomorrow I can go back to being me. Two things I've learned today:

1) Metropolis really can survive a day without Superman.


2) I never realized how tough the rest of the world has it -- and they call me Super?!?
The fic was good, but the punchline was worth almost any sort of fic, Lynn!
smile1 notworthy

Ann

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This was a really cute idea! very good! Laura


Clark: “If we can be born in an instant, and die in an instant, why can’t we fall in love in an instant?”

Caroline's "Stardust"
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My thanks to all who have taken the time to leave me feedback! :-)

Quote
Originally posted by Terry Leatherwood:
No plot. No relationship progress. No personal drama (unless you count the subway and the coffee). Nothing really happened.
Yup. That was precisely why I was nervous about the pacing...I realized that this was hardly an edge-of-your-seat read.

And I must admit that I was getting a little nervous about reading that, admittedly accurate, summary of what is NOT in this piece. I was therefore quite relieved to see what followed:

Quote
It was almost like an episode of Seinfeld.
Although I personally never liked the show, I recognize that it was extremely popular for a very long time. I am therefore honoured by the comparison!

Quote
But it was also a fascinating insight into the mind of Superman.
Thank you. That was exactly what I was shooting for...I was aiming to capture Clark's attitudes towards himself and others, and to see how they gradually changed over the course of the not-ordinary-for-him day.

Thanks again for all of the comments. I have become a full-fledged FDK junkie. wink (Didn't take long for me to get hooked...)

cheers,
Lynn

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I love the ending, because it shows how Clark has never needed to prioritize.


Elisabeth


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