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Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 4,393 Likes: 1
Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 4,393 Likes: 1 |
I like it! I have some ideas of where this story may be headed, but I am definitely looking forward to reading the remaining parts.
Do you have a particular posting schedule in mind?
cheers,
Lynn
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Joined: Dec 2004
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Beat Reporter
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Beat Reporter
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I love it! Very different take on that story. I am looking forward to the next part. Kathy www.chili-everyway.com
robinson
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Beat Reporter
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Beat Reporter
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Top Banana
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Top Banana
Joined: Aug 2007
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Terrific intro, Sue. Three parts is about my speed right now. Looking forward to the rest. 
This *is* my happily ever after.
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Feb 2008
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"Cut it out," I tell him. "I'm still me. Don't treat me any differently just because I could squish your head the next time you irritate me." Tee-hee! and LOL! "Do you have any idea how useful this is going to be? I can see through walls and hear conversations now. People will start calling me 'super-journalist'."
Superman looks like he's fighting a smile as he answers. "Yes, it's very useful." When is Lois going to figure it out? She'll probably be mad that Clark was "cheating" all those years. "Right? Set what right? Did you miss the part where I said that I enjoy having these powers?" That's great! In the show, she was all nervous about it. Here, it's "Hey! I've got powers!" It's the oddest sensation, being surrounded by the noise and din of humanity and yet feeling completely isolated. A poignant reminder of what Clark goes through every day. "You went to high school?" My eyes are wide open now. "Here? On Earth, I mean?"
For a second his expression looks horrified and I wonder if he's regretting his decision to tell me this story. With this clue, it won't be long before Lois figures it out. She probably would have it figured out by now anyway if she weren't so distracted. I fly - FLY! - in the direction of the one person with whom I simply have to share this. Uh-oh.... Eagerly awaiting more!
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
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Clark: “If we can be born in an instant, and die in an instant, why can’t we fall in love in an instant?”
Caroline's "Stardust"
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Nobel Peace Prize Winner
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Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 5,797 |
Lovely! An old new Sue fic!  This fic shows Sue's ability to be completely inside her narrator's head and see everything that is going on from the narrator's point of view. Sometimes that makes the readers smile, or at least it makes me smile, because I know more than the protagonist: I don't try to hide the irritation in my voice. After all, he did abandon me halfway through dinner last night. Sure, he was paged by a source and had to leave. Clark almost always has a reasonable excuse for ending our dates early. His excuses aren't always lame! I give him a skeptical look. "And you'll stick around for the entire date? You won't suddenly decide to adopt a puppy or buy gym socks or renew your driver's license?" But sometimes they are, and Lois knows they are, but she hasn't figured out why he keeps abandoning her and has to come up with excuses. Hah! I know more than she does! But because I am an LnC TV show illiterate, I didn't recognize or even remember the episode that is the inspiration for this fic, and therefore I didn't know what was going on here: I barely have the words out before Superman drops the doll and grabs my shoulders. For a dizzying couple of seconds I think Superman has finally realized that he's desperately in love with me. He pulls me decisively against him and turns us swiftly. I want to say something, but there's a roaring sound in my ears and the world feels pink and fuzzy around the edges. Almost as quickly as he grabbed me, Superman releases me. Wow! If you don't know what is going on here, that description packs a punch, I can tell you! Suddenly I'm being Lois, locked inside her head, desperately trying to understand what is happening to me and failing. And suddenly I can almost forgive her/me for not seeing through Clark Kent's many miserable excuses. Then the oddest thing happens. Superman makes an odd skipping motion and then hesitates, as if he's feeling as out of it as I am. He bends down and picks up a camcorder that appears to be smoking. He glances around and then directly at me. His mouth opens like he's about to say something, and then he shrugs and walks away, still holding the camcorder. Here, of course, I should have realized right away that Superman - Clark - has lost his superpowers. But I didn't realize it, not straight away. I could see, like Lois, that something had happened to him, but I didn't know what. (I have to admit that it didn't dawn on me that Clark's powers were gone until they manifested themselves in Lois. Then when the truth dawned on me, I had to go back and read that part again, marvelling at how Superman's "odd skipping motion" had to mean he was trying to take off and couldn't.) Even after that, I was still very much inside Lois's head, feeling her discombobulation. (What a word! Gotta love the English language for coming up with such a word! Thanks for teaching it to me, Sue!) I'm about to enter STAR Labs when I hear my name called. I turn around to see Superman jogging across the plaza toward me. We get through Security a lot faster than any of my previous visits to the Lab. There's a perk of being Superman that I don't think he shared with me. But here I was sort of wondering if Lois shouldn't be wondering why Superman was jogging instead of flying. On the other hand, I can see her attributing his jogging to a desire to acknowledge to her that she is now his equal, so that it is no longer quite proper for him to carry her. But since she can't fly, he politely jogs with her. Dr. Klein stares at me in open-mouthed horror for a few seconds. Then he turns accusingly to Superman and asks, "You didn't tell her?" Yes, well, Superman is usually open and honest with Lois, isn't he? :rolleyes: (Maybe he can't help deceiving her because she seems to enjoy being deceived?) "There was a quarry, not far from where I grew up. That was one of the greatest boasts that you could make at my high school - that you had jumped into the quarry."
"You went to high school?" My eyes are wide open now. "Here? On Earth, I mean?"
For a second his expression looks horrified and I wonder if he's regretting his decision to tell me this story. But while Clark enjoys playing his two-personas-game with Lois and Lois enjoys being fooled by it, Lois doesn't tolerate any slips on Clark's part, because then he is going to spoil the game. No wonder Clark is horrified. I close my eyes and try to picture Superman as a teenager; free and happy as he subverts both the law of gravity and his parents' rules. For some odd reason I'm imagining that his parents look like Clark's. I can easily imagine Clark coming home dripping wet and pleased with himself, even though he knows he's about to catch hell for being reckless. Of course, there is a joy in seeing through Clark's identity game, too. Lois is close to seeing through it. On the other hand, I don't know if she is being closer now than she was before, or if she has been teetering on the edge of clarity all the time. After I get home, it takes me almost half an hour to work up the courage to climb outside my window. My knees shake as I crawl out onto the ledge. I take a deep breath and let my feet dangle. I can't do it. I know I can fly - really I do, but I just can't jump. What a description! You put me in Lois's head and body now! I can completely feel what it would be like to try to jump from that ledge! And now Lois is going to take Clark flying, right? Or maybe she'd prefer to whisk Superman off his feet? Ann
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Beat Reporter
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Beat Reporter
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Delightful! I hope you will post the rest soon!
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Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 3,145 Likes: 3
Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 3,145 Likes: 3 |
This is a very sweet adaptation of the Ultra Woman episode, complete with Newtrich sisters trying to steal Superman's powers. And Lois' reactions are both natural and believable here. Had she gained those powers before Superman went public (don't know how that might have happened), she would have been freaked out. But since she's seen Superman use those powers and not injure anyone, she knows they can be controlled. She understands that the powers enhance her but they don't define her.
I like the first-person present tense POV here, too. It's very difficult to pull off, but you're doing a great job. It gives the story an immediacy and an impact different from a third-person POV, or even first-person past tense. I eagerly await the next chapter, certain that it will be as exciting and fun as the previous.
Life isn't a support system for writing. It's the other way around.
- Stephen King, from On Writing
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 2,837 |
Great story Sue. Post more soon!  Artemis
History is easy once you've lived it. - Duncan MacLeod
Writing history is easy once you've lived it. - Artemis
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Columnist
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Columnist
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Yay, a new Sue fic!  This was a great part 1, but can we get part 2 soon coz I cannot wait to see/read what happens next 
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Beat Reporter
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Beat Reporter
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I love this! It's great that Superman is giving flying lessons to Lois, heh. I loved the dramatic nature of this section ender: "When Dr. Klein said that my powers had transferred to you," Superman says haltingly. "He meant it literally." Superman's "Clark" story was great, and Lois's imagining that Superman's parents look like Clark's is also wonderful, heh heh. I was actually thinking the other day about how it would be nice to see Lois with powers more often, so this really came at a great time for me! I can't wait to read the rest. 
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Top Banana
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Top Banana
Joined: Jun 2003
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You posted! You *know* I love the story! I probably already told you this (if I wasn't so lazy, I'd go find my previous feedback to verify if I mentioned it or not ) but I'll repeat it here: You do wonderful 1st person. I completely agree with Ann's and Terry's comments regarding this. It seems almost mean to admit it, but as Ann said, it's quite amusing to read Lois's comments, knowing what we know and Lois doesn't. I dusted the story off, made some changes and I'm now reposting it Either the changes come in later chapters, or they were quite subtle, because I didn't notice any. I'm looking forward to reading what you post next; I've challenged myself to see if I can figure out what you've changed! So, when do we get 2/3?
"Hold on, my friends, to the Constitution and to the Republic for which it stands. Miracles do not cluster and what has happened once in 6,000 years, may not happen again. Hold on to the Constitution" - Daniel Webster
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Kerth
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Kerth
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And now for the moment I've been waiting for all day - a long enough stretch of free time to be able to try and do justice to the very kind comments you guys have left me. In a way, I envy you not knowing the episode - that way it's all new to you. <g> For me, it was very fun getting to see it through your eyes, with not knowing that Supes had lost his powers to Lois, etc. Thank you so much for taking me along for the experience. I was hoping that part of the fun for the reader was knowing the truth all along and trying to guess when the other shoe is going to drop for Lois. cookiesmom - Thank you! I'm hoping to post the parts every few days. Terry - Woot! You always leave such thoughtful fdk, it makes me grin as soon as I see your name pop up. I'm delighted you like the first person POV. I used it for exactly the reasons you pointed out - there's an immediacy that you can't get any other way. For something like this, where Lois suddenly has Superman's powers, it seemed like it would be wasted if we couldn't be there with her as she tries to figure them out. I'm so glad it's working for you. Thank you for the encouragement! Artemis - Thank you - I will be posting more soon. The second part is up and the third will go up Wednesday. DW - I'm glad you're awaiting the next part. Thank you! Déjà vu - Great minds, I guess. <g> I agree, it would be nice to see more Lois with powers stories. Thanks! Vicki - Oh, I definitely know how much you like this story. I will never delete the long and lovely email you sent me.  The changes to part one were just tweaks. I took out a couple of things in part two and added a few small paragraphs. Part three, though, I totally rewrote. You alone will know the difference.  Thanks again to everyone who has commented. You guys, as always, rock my world!
Lois: You know, I have a funny feeling that you didn't tell me your biggest secret.
Clark: Well, just to put your little mind at ease, Lois, you're right.
Ides of Metropolis
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Top Banana
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Top Banana
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I will never delete the long and lovely email you sent me. Actually, I thought you were saving that email just because you got a kick over my pitiful attempts to remember the story's title. :rolleyes:
"Hold on, my friends, to the Constitution and to the Republic for which it stands. Miracles do not cluster and what has happened once in 6,000 years, may not happen again. Hold on to the Constitution" - Daniel Webster
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Boards Chief Administrator Nobel Peace Prize Winner
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Boards Chief Administrator Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 8,948 Likes: 28 |
Hmm… let’s see. And this was posted once before?  Obviously, the central idea in this story belongs to Gene O'Neill and Norren Tobin, the original screenwriters. I thought it would be fun to put a different spin on things so this is taking place near the end of the second season instead of in the third season. Wonder which one it is… "Hey, CK," Jimmy calls from across the newsroom. "There's a kid down the well in Centennial Park. The Chief wants you on it." Sounds familiar, but… Superman looks up from the bundle and, for the briefest moment, he seems almost amused to see me there. "They would be -- if this was a real child." He tugs the blanket aside to reveal a doll with a still-wailing tape recorder strapped to it. Yeah, I do know this story. Definitely seen it before. This is the one with the red-k laser and Lois getting powers. I think they even adapted one of the fanfics for TV, didn’t they? Only I can't seem to stand up and I'm horrified to realize that I'm about to faint. While he certainly has an effect on me, Superman's never actually made me faint before. I sway forward and he catches me, pulling me firmly back against him. I can faintly hear him asking me what's wrong above the static in my head. I try to tell him that I have no idea what's going on, but then everything goes black. /cackles manically/ Wonder how this is going to play out. Besides the noms for Best Ep Adaption 2011 and Best Mid-Length 2011 since a three-parter indicates 60k. I shake his hand carefully and quickly release it. I already made him wince earlier today when I grabbed his arm without thinking. /waves arm/ I think I smell a setup. Later on, Lois is going to see Clark’s naked arm and besides having a Lethal Weapon (The ep, not the movie) moment with role-reversal, she will connect the wince from Superman with the bruise on Clark’s arm. For almost a minute I stay there, watching the cars and people pass below me. Then I lift higher, above the roof of my building, my confidence increasing with every passing second. I fly - FLY! - in the direction of the one person with whom I simply have to share this. Dan Scardino. Yay for new Sue-fic. Hope you are able to put part three back together soon. Michael
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Kerth
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Kerth
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Vicki said: I thought you were saving that email just because you got a kick over my pitiful attempts to remember the story's title. Nah, that's just a bonus. :p Michael, you have no idea how freakin' hard I laughed at this: OMG! It took me a few minutes to dry my eyes and quit giggling long enough to be able to type. I'm thrilled that you're reading this one. I was working on part 3, but then my ADD kicked in and I just had to see what was shakin' on the boards. Back to the salt mine now. I'll most likely be posting the final part tomorrow (I prefer to sleep on a story, just in case I feel compelled to tweak again).
Lois: You know, I have a funny feeling that you didn't tell me your biggest secret.
Clark: Well, just to put your little mind at ease, Lois, you're right.
Ides of Metropolis
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