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#66637 10/12/09 10:05 AM
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Thanks to Michelle, Nicole and Becca for letting me use their internet.

I have limited time to check, so hope the part isn't too full of typos.

Thanks

Corrina

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*squeeeeeeeee* /erm/ yeah blush

Okay, be back here tomorrow, as you managed to dangle this in front of me just before bedtime. mecry

Michael


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Very nice. Am a bit surprised that a. Clark hadn't noticed the drawing before and b. that a drawing would convey that much unless there was more information in the text.

And then... when exactly is 18 - and the secret - going to be posted?

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This story just keeps getting better and better. This part was so romantic and lovely and long. I loved it. The secret is teasing at my brain. Not sure what it is but I am sure you left several clues.

Looking forward to the next part. I hope you are enjoying your trip

Kathy
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That was a great chapter!

I'm sorry for not posting any comments for the previous chapters ... I didn't have much time in the previous weeks. RL kept me busy.

Clark's ideas are great, he shows Lois his love with everything he does.

I am glad that Lois had found a friend in Riz.

And the secret finally comes out... I'm really curious if my suspicions are right ... why does Kal think his secret will shock her... ?

Kathryn (who hopes that the next part will be up this week while I'm still on holiday)


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Corrina,

Add me to the ever-growing list of people who have commented that this story just keeps getting better and better! What a great chapter. I was laughing out loud at Kal honestly and openly explaining his plan for getting Lois to marry him.

And I was right about his not having seen the diagram! Well, to be honest, I wasn't sure, but I had my suspicions that he might not have seen it. And his reaction was just as I suspected: "I want to do that with Lois." laugh It will be interesting to see if he is as honest about his desire to do *that* as he was about his plans to woo her!

I think that, even if there wasn't much as far as written explanation, the diagram itself would be sufficient. After Lois's first touch, Kal looked to see if it had left a mark. He definitely knows how his body reacts to Lois's touches. And he knows how it reacted to a hug. (Which reminds me that I didn't mention back in the feedback thread for the hug how much I LOVED the way he described it as Lois draping her body along his.)

Kal quickly figured out that skin-on-skin was better than skin-on-clothes. (Which reminds me that I didn't mention back in the previous feedback thread how much I appreciated the way you had Kal reflect on how he *really* wanted to run his hands through Lois's hair, as well as how if he were to put his hand on her neck when they hug, there would be no clothes to interfere. Their next kiss is told from Lois's point of view, and as they kiss she feels his hand combing through her hair before coming to rest on her neck. drool )

I think it's reasonable for him to figure out that the sort of intimacy illustrated in the diagram would be amazing. And to be able to do that with Lois, would be mind-boggling.

And the secret! I'm going crazy trying to figure out what the secret is! How long do we have to wait for chapter 18?????

PS - I'm still curious to find out how Lois is communicating with the kids. Despite Kal's claim that only adults have translators, the interactions between Lois and Tek's kids read as if they had translators, too. You said there's an explanation for that, and I'm wondering what it could be.

PPS - I forgot to add that I hope you made it to Montreal safely and are enjoying your visit with your daughter. You mentioned going to Toronto. If you drove back from Toronto to Montreal, you probably went through Kingston, Ontario - so that makes up for missing Kingston, NY. (If you've seen one Kingston, you've seen them all - or something like that.)


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and here i am supposed to be doing research for a school project, and all i can think about is kal and lois and this secret and diagram...eagerly awaiting more!!

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Wow. I was checking every night for this story and it felt like I was waiting forever!<g> I was so happy to see it here tonight! And what a part! Holy Cow! I still am not sure how the heck you are going to manage this without a single nfic section. All of it seems to be leading there. I would think it would have to lead there at some point in the near future. I am dying to know what his secret it too. Was he kept in some kind of frozen state until he came of age to protect him? Was he sent to a desolate place to survive without contact of another person. What is it? I hope you post more soon. I can't wait to find out! I love this story! Laura


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Thanks for the FDK everyone! I really appreciate you sticking with the story despite the posting infrequency.

I've just had my first-ever Thanksgiving!

I'm now settled in Montreal for a couple of weeks so should get more internet access.

I received part 19 back from Iolanthe and she liked it! Part 20 is half written. As soon as I get 20 to my BR, I'll post 18.

Thanks

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Delightful.

I have horribly little time to comment, but I want to say that it is natural for a human adult, even a totally inexperienced and innocent adult, to react to a drawing of a couple making love. There are enough deep-seated instincts inside us - Rac called it a biological imperative - to respond to images of lovemaking when we see it.

I loved how Kal realized what the lovemaking picture was - an image of how babies are made, and an image of what he wanted to do with Lois. I also loved Kal's sweetness and deep respect for Lois here - no matter how much he wanted to do this with Lois, he couldn't do it unless she wanted to do it with him.

I can see that there are good reasons for Lois to accept Kal's proposal of marriage, and I realize, too, that Kal can't divorce Za just like that. The consequences for Za might be grievous. For all of that, I wonder what it might be like for Lois to be Kal's "special wife" instead of his "only wife". Imagine, once a month he would have to leave Lois's bed to go away somewhere and produce a "sample" while Lord Nor was watching him. Horrible!!!! And while I agree with those who think that Nor has probably been throwing away Kal's "samples" until now, that may change if Kal marries Lois. Perhaps Nor will want to create tensions in Kal's marriage to Lois, so that he decides to give Za the samples after all. Imagine Kal finding himself having two pregnant wives at the same time! I wouldn't wish that situation on Lois.

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I love this bit with her thoughts first:
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Did you understand the diagram? “Because you weren’t interested in a second marriage until now?”

“Yes ... and because there are no Disputes requiring me to research the part of the Law dealing with marriage of the Supreme Ruler.”

Have you thought about doing that? “How many wives are you allowed?”

Kal looked uncomfortable. “More than one,” he admitted.

Have you thought about doing that with me? “How many more than one?”

“Lo-is,” he said on weary sigh.

Have you wondered if I think about doing that with you? “How many?”
I also love the simple declarative sentences that show two people beginning to communicate.
Keep it coming!
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I've just had my first-ever Thanksgiving!
To confused folcs in the US: Canada has their Thanksgiving on Columbus Day.
Corinna: Here in the US, Thanksgiving is the fourth Thursday in November. So if you wanted you could have two!
regards
Artemis


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Re: The section Artemis quoted. I loved this part, too. Lois carrying on one conversation with Kal while having another one entirely in her head made me smile.


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Good to hear you're having a good time, Corrina. And still time to look after us, too hyper clap

And I'm starting to truly believe that Kal's secret is the same as it was on the show. The thing about the intimacy threshold. Only, why Kal would assume that after all their talks Lois wouldn't already assume as much is beyond me. The only other idea is that Kal is an import, too.

Michael, anxiously waiting for the revelation in part 18 wildguy


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Fantastic part!! hyper So....

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“Would you like to walk with me along the beach?” he asked.
I was surprised by this, I hadn't thought of there being a beach nearby, but we've heard about the sea before so I don't know why. I just imagined miles and miles of empty bleakness. Then again, you've also mentioned farms etc so I should have known there were different landscapes and terrain.

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Lois quickly changed into another gown, put on her coat, finger-combed her hair and applied a little of Riz’s face cream.
Don't forget the aphrodisiac face cream now Lois!!

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“Kal?” Lois said. “Are you sure it is wise for you to be seen so openly with one of your concubines?”

“I don’t know,” Kal said. “But I do know what you mean to me and I’m not going to hide it.”
I like the boldness Kal is showing here, he's doing his best to show he's not ashamed of Lois though he can't have her as his only wife. Even though concubines are accepted, he is showing a great fondness to one and braving the opinion his people may have of this. I know it was the early hours, so he's hardly taking out an ad yet, but the intention was there. He's trying so hard to work out what Lois wants him to do, and I like that he says 'he doesn't know', he's trying to break a little from the restrictions of what the law books tell him.

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“What about in private?”

“They usually lead completely separate lives.”

Even when spawning children, Lois thought. “But you’re not a Regal Noble.”
It does seem an odd culture for the nobles to lead separate lives even if an heir is produced. I can see that a lot would choose not to associate as they haven't married for love, but you would think the contact would be a little closer bearing in mind what they're trying to achieve! I know Kal doesn't really know the full story.

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“So Za won’t mind?” Lois asked incredulously. “I mean, if you were my husband, I would hate you being out with another woman.”

“If I were your husband,” Kal said gravely. “I would not be out with another woman.”
Good answer Kal. laugh He'd be ok if asked the question "does my bum look big in this?!"

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Lois squeezed his hand. He glanced down at her, looking so happy, the conscientious leader was lost for a moment in the sunshine of his smile.
I sometimes forget Kal smiles so much now and so naturally, little details like that are lovely. Even though he is struglling to get Lois to agree to marriage, his life is still so much brighter just having her around. He'd never even had a companion before.

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While they had been speaking, Kal’s eyes had dropped to her mouth and moored there. His fingers zeroed in on her chin and tipped her face towards him. Then, he slowly closed the distance between them and kissed her. With unhurried deliberation, he savoured her.
Lovely imagery!

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His hand in her hair felt more like a caress than a mission. His turned off his translator and smiled on a happy breath. “Thank you trust me.”
There's something so romantic about the act of turning off the translator!!

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Kal slipped his arm along Lois’s shoulder and pressed her into the warmth of his side. They continued walking along the rough white sand until the rising water threatened to rush their feet. Kal led them from the beach, through a field and back to the more densely housed area. As they walked, Lois chatted, giving him words for the things they saw.
I love this snippet of normality for Lois and Kal.

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“I told them I wanted anything I hadn’t had before,” Kal said. “I’d never had beverage; there might be other things I haven’t tried.”
I thought so! In some ways it's as if his life is only just beginning, his appreciation of the finer things anyway!!

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Tek didn’t smile, but there was a slight crinkling in the corners of his eyes – enough to tell her he had enjoyed her compliment.
I love that you can also see flashes of what Lois is teaching Kal rubbing off on Tek. Though of course it is likely he is not quite so lacking in emotion as a lot of the Kryptionians, with his happy homelife.

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Lois chuckled and bit from the ‘toast’. It was sweet, despite the lack of a spread. “Why did you ask me to come with you to the beach this morning?”

Kal sipped from their coffee. “Because you said you wouldn’t marry me.”
There's someting so endearing about Kal's gaps in logic!

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“I asked you to marry me and seven times you said you wouldn’t, so I researched Kryptonian Law and discovered there is no rule preventing me from taking you as my wife.”
Bless him that he's keeping count!

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“How very convenient,” Lois snapped. “You have your cake and eat it too.”
Uh-oh, a flash of old Lois, forgetting the saying would be more than a litttle lost on Kal!

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Kal recoiled at her tone. “I don’t know what cake is, Lois,” he said evenly. “But I can see you still don’t want to marry me, so I will continue to work through my plans.”
I love Kal's straightforward thinking. I know why Lois is angered (temporarily) by it, but it's so well-meaning.

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“How many dates did you think it would take for me to capitulate?” she demanded.

“I don’t understand dates.”

Lois was in no mood for a language lesson. “You’re married, Kal,” she said coolly. “Whatever your plans are, unless they involve me being your only wife, they won’t work.”
Much as Kal was taken aback by this exasperated Lois, I think it was time for her to spell out to him the fundemental reason she can't agree to marriage. I also like that she calmed quickly, reminding herself of the situation, and that Kal isn't being scheming, he's just desperate to find a way to be with her properly.

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Lois shook her head. “I know you don’t love her.”

“Who do I love?”

She stared into the coffee. “Me,” she mumbled.
Awww! This was so sweet. Lois was easily won over, out of her anger anyway.

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“Drinking beverage with you. Ordering more interesting food for us to share. Learning to speak your language – without the Translator. Planning things for us to do together. Showing you that I don’t intend to hide my feelings for you.”
I just love it!! His simplistic view of 'courting' is so adorable.

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“I thought I should kiss you ... and hug you.” He glanced away, before turning back with a small smile. “Although that isn’t just because I want to marry you - that is also because I really like doing that with you.”
laugh I love his honesty. I've said before, the refreshing honesty of this realationship is one of the best things about this fic. Of course, there are still things to come out, but mostly L&K are honest with each other.

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The possibilities filtered through Lois’s mind. Was he going to tell her he had never slept with his wife? “Why are you going to tell me?”
I think he's as good as admitted that already!

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“Because I am very concerned about how you will react ... what you will think of me when you know, so I hope that by telling you in your language ... maybe you will understand.”
I hope she does understand straight away. I get the feeling she will. It may not be as bad or as shocking to Lois as Kal percieves it to be. Of course, we aren't in on this particular secret so I imagine we will find out when Lois does - can't wait!!

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“I will always like being with you,” Kal said. “But I will never stop wanting to marry you.”
Kal has become fixated on Lois' description of the ideals of earth marriage. He can't give up on the idea of what she described they would have. Thankfully, as this is a beautiful love story, I'm sure one day, somehow, they will find a way.

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“I will ask you to tell me about Earth Marriage Ceremonies,” Kal said. “I will ask Tek to officiate and try to make it as close to your dreams as I can. Then ... I will do everything I can to make you happy for as long as I live.”
Awww again! It would be so easy for Lois to give in, but I can see why she doesn't.

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Did you see the diagram? “Didn’t you know?”

“I was instructed to read the entire Law in the months before my Investiture – and I thought I had - but I didn’t remember that bit and I haven’t looked at that part of the Law since.”

Did you understand the diagram? “Because you weren’t interested in a second marriage until now?”

“Yes ... and because there are no Disputes requiring me to research the part of the Law dealing with marriage of the Supreme Ruler.”

Have you thought about doing that? “How many wives are you allowed?”

Kal looked uncomfortable. “More than one,” he admitted.

Have you thought about doing that with me? “How many more than one?”
rotflol I know this has been quoted before, but this passage was just perfect. Showing what Lois was thinking behind what she was saying. It's what we were thinking also! Wherever they go in talking about marriage etc, it always comes back to the diagram and the question she still hasn't quite had the courage to ask!

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“Lo-is,” he said on weary sigh.
This was very Clark!

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“But any time you’d like to agree to marry me, please tell me and I will ask.”
shock I could just feel Kal's shock!! He must feel so relieved but so embarrassed. And most of all, it doesn't take a second for him to realise he wants to do it with Lois. I agree, as it is a natural act, it isn't surprising that he realises it is sonething he wants to do with the one he loves. It will also make sense of some of the reactions he's been having around her no doubt! wink

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*That* was how he could get closer to her.
Well yes, in a sense that's true!!

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*That* would be ... there just weren’t words to describe how incredible *that* would be with Lois. The inherent intimacy shattered his mind. Would she want to do *that* with him?
That's the key - intimacy!! He already knows how wonderful it is to hug Lois, so it's no wonder he sees a diagram of a hug (and more besides!) and is certain that would be wonderful. I just wonder if he is meaning he just wants to be close to her, or if he means he wants to get her pregnant at this time.

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Had she even thought about it?
Oh Kal, she's thought of little else!!

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If she married him and slept in his bed every night, would they do so much more than hug and kiss?

He hoped so.

Because that would be beyond incredible.
Again, I love how you get us inside Kal's head and portray his thoughts, so we can see the simplicity of his thought processes.

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Kal could feel his face heat as he recalled telling Lois about having to give the sample each month. She had not been able to hide her surprise. Had she been surprised by the method, or had she comprehended his lack of knowledge and been surprised by that?
blush

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Was that why she wouldn’t stay in his bed? Because she was scared he would do that to her?

But, he was sure it wasn’t supposed to be something one person did to another; it had to be something two people did together.
I can see why it would be a little scary for Kal too, but his conclusions are well thought out. He isn't stupid after all, it's easy to confuse naivety with a lack of intelligence. And he's considerate enough to realise it has to be a mutual thing.

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If she deduced that he hadn’t known about this, she was going to suspect his secret.
Hmm - so intrigued!!! So don't have a clue what it could be!!

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It was vital that he tell her the secret before she worked it out for herself. Then, at least he would have the opportunity to try to explain.
Sounds familiar - get in there quick Kal!

On the edge of my seat for part 18. Hope you're still having an amazing time out there Corrina.

Em


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Carol Thanks for you comments. Re Kal not noticing - he hasn't had to come to this part of the Law for 10 years - there are no disputes about the S.R's right to marry and take concubines.

Kathy I'm so glad you think the fic is holding up. With everything else going on in my life, I was worried the fic would slip. Thanks!

Kathryn Hi Kathryn! Great to hear from you. Glad to hear you're on holiday. Thanks for leaving FDK.

Vicki So glad the story is still holding your interest.

Yes - I went through Kingston, although it was an overnight bus and I was either writing or asleep because I missed it blush . But it wasn't your Kingston anyway, was it?

We are now in Montreal for a couple of weeks, so there will be more time to write and more opportunity for internet access. Yes - I'm having a great time with my daughter!

Sarah Thanks - I know the feeling of 'should' vs 'want to'!!

Laura Thanks for your FDK. As for an nfic section, I'm still undecided ... maybe a add-on part after I've finished this fic. goofy

Thanks for all your FDK, Michael.

Emma Thanks for your in-depth FDK!

I loved this bit
Quote
I can see why it would be a little scary for Kal too, but his conclusions are well thought out. He isn't stupid after all, it's easy to confuse naivety with a lack of intelligence. And he's considerate enough to realise it has to be a mutual thing.
I have tried so hard not to portray Kal as stupid - in fact, he is far from it. There are gaps in his knowledge certainly, but he doesn't lack intelligence.


Part 18 grew to 5500 words - so I've adjusted my chapter breaks. 18 will still include Kal's secret and hopefully will be posted soon.

Thanks again.

Corrina.

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Lois quickly [...] finger-combed her hair [...]
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Riz went to a drawer, then turned and offered Lois a large, thick-toothed comb. “Barter,” she said.
What must she have looked like, after over a week with no comb? I'd bet anything that Kal never even noticed, but Riz apparently did! laugh

Quote
18 will still include Kal's secret and hopefully will be posted soon.
Soon like tonight? hyper Or soon like in the next few days?


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Ha! Now Kal's mind is the one in the gutter. But he's so darn sweet and thoughtful that he's not really in the gutter. Excellent part, lots of progress. I'm looking forward to more!

Regards,

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So much has already been posted, I won't repeat it except to say "Amen to all that."
thumbsup thumbsup

I do wonder what makes Kal think that knowledge of his sexual ignorance would lead to the suspicion of his secret. If it's an obvious jump, it isn't obvious to me. Maybe it's something that would be obvious to a Kryptonian, but not to Lois.

I do hope that Kal and Lois think to bring Tek in on the water problem soon. They've got their own little cheering section and co-conspirators in Tek and Riz.

One detail that hasn't yet been mentioned: I'm assuming that you meant the word "pudding" to be a parallel to "meat," "vegetable," and "beverage." In that case, the word which Lois's American brain would have provided would be "dessert" rather than "pudding." A sweet muffin can be a dessert in America, but it can't be a pudding. That's because in America pudding is a specific type of dessert made from milk. It's like a custard. It's served in a bowl and eaten with a spoon like chocolate mousse.

Hmm...sweet toast for breakfast; I wonder what's for lunch.


Like everyone else, I'm on the edge of my seat.

So forget seeing the wonders of Canada. Just get back here soon! wildguy wildguy wildguy


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One detail that hasn't yet been mentioned: I'm assuming that you meant the word "pudding" to be a parallel to "meat," "vegetable," and "beverage." In that case, the word which Lois's American brain would have provided would be "dessert" rather than "pudding." A sweet muffin can be a dessert in America, but it can't be a pudding. That's because in America pudding is a specific type of dessert made from milk. It's like a custard. It's served in a bowl and eaten with a spoon like chocolate mousse.
Excellent point. I did not understand the word "pudding" to be generic, but as referring to a specific dessert. I was surprised when the "pudding" turned out to be a dryish muffin. But then I just assumed "pudding" on Krypton was different than "pudding" on Earth. huh "Dessert" would, indeed, be Lois's word to parallel "meat", "vegetable", and "beverage", if that's what was intended.


"Hold on, my friends, to the Constitution and to the Republic for which it stands. Miracles do not cluster and what has happened once in 6,000 years, may not happen again. Hold on to the Constitution" - Daniel Webster
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