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Joined: Apr 2003
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,764 |
/me bites lip nervously
Not the story so much that bothers me as who it was and what she admitted about their relationship pre... revelation of who he really was.
Thoughts?
/me runs and hides
Carol
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Joined: Apr 2003
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Merriwether
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Merriwether
Joined: Apr 2003
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Well, that's a different take on Lex. And we know he's out of the picture.  I can see why Lois is a bit gun-shy.
"You need me. You wouldn't be much of a hero without a villain. And you do love being the hero, don't you. The cheering children, the swooning women, you love it so much, it's made you my most reliable accomplice." -- Lex Luthor to Superman, Question Authority, Justice League Unlimited
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Joined: Apr 2007
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Boards Chief Administrator Nobel Peace Prize Winner
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Boards Chief Administrator Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 8,946 Likes: 28 |
"He was my first," she finally said, rushing through the statement. Nononononnonononononononononono nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo I wanted to keep dating and he gave me an ultimatum. Said that was fine and he was okay with me turning him down, but if I wasn't going to sleep with him then obviously this relationship wasn't going anywhere and maybe we'd both best move on. Erm... What? Bad, Dan. Bad. Can he get beaten up a bit by Trask. Just a little instead of Clark? Please? Pretty please? /takes a deep breath/ Okay. The prose was good. The rest... Well, suffice to say, I feel a bit 
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Hack from Nowheresville
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Hack from Nowheresville
Joined: Apr 2006
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Cool! I mean, sure her history sucks but excellent background information and Clark is very perceptive! I can overlook Lex being her first, I will just ignore it. Bad Dan (which is good though).  Keep writing! Natascha
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Merriwether
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Merriwether
Joined: Apr 2003
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Ooooo, that's how Lex fits in! I can't believe I'd forgotten about him, LOL. (Wishful thinking? ) I don't see anything in here to be nervous about. I actually like the spin on Lex.  Oh, and mad props to the Dairy Freeze hickeys, LOL!
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Top Banana
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Top Banana
Joined: Aug 2007
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Hi Carol 
This *is* my happily ever after.
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Features Writer
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Features Writer
Joined: Jul 2004
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SO Lois likes them bad boy types, ya?The girl's a gangsta at heart.
"I'm red-eyed, tired and drunk" Teri Hatcher
"Fun will now commence" 7of9
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Blogger
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Blogger
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Poor Lois, she can't escape troubled relationships in any universe. 
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Columnist
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Columnist
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Lois's story works for me - seems like you got all the right elements. Lex is nuts and Dan is a jerk: check and check. Other than that, I can't wait to find out what happens next! (You'd think everyday posting would be enough for some people...) Amber
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Joined: Apr 2003
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Pulitzer
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OP
Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,764 |
/me peeks in nervously but doesn't see anything TOO bad... Karen - depends I suppose. Any idea who his doctor is . Michael - see my response to Kathy [I think] below re Lex. I'm not sure I got Dan across right. His thinking was that her reluctance to sleep with him was a symptom of something more wrong in their relationship - and he was right in a sense at least. Natascha - see below. Kathy - /whews as Kathy's okay with it/ Was worried about everyone, but you in particular for some reason . Is it the Dairy Freeze thing that was deleted? It's been YEARS since I've seen the non-extended version of the pilot [and I always based fic on the extended version too] so I'm not sure what's deleted and what's not - though if it's something in script but not in either version then... um yeah. That's exactly what I meant . Um, the pissing match is all your fault and that's all I'm saying about that . HG - That's exactly what i was thinking - he's an early Lex. He's not as evil as the show - yet. I'll edit to make it clearer - I'm seeing him running around campus leading the police on a merry chase and that they were already closing in on him even before the call from Lois - maybe they already suspected him of what she did and more - forced ODs etc maybe. He 'rabbits' and ends up in a building with the bell tower on it and in the end decides that 'Lex Luthor will not live in a cage'. Yeah, Dan's not always the sharpest tool in the shed . SJH - LOL! Blue-ROMan - nope, not usually. Amber - hehe. You'd think it would be wouldn't you? More posted in a few... Carol
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Merriwether
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Merriwether
Joined: Apr 2003
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Carol, the deleted scene I was referring to isn't in my copy of the Pilot script, darn it, so I can't quote it verbatim. But originally, I recall there was supposed to be more to the "I've got you all figured out" "Didn't take you very long" conversation when L&C are eating Chinese take-out in the newsroom. In the snip I recall seeing (an early script version?), Lois says something very much like what you have Clark say in this chapter -- describing what she thinks he was like as a younger man. It was something like, "You were the kid in the back of the classroom who knew all the answers, but never raised your hand. You read Jack Kerouac over and over, and always dreamed of going on the road yourself." Fortunately, though, the Dairy Freeze line was in the show. From the Pilot, when Lois asks Clark to be her escort to Lex Luthor's ball: LOIS
Are you crazy? This is _the_
social event of the season.
Everyone who's anyone will be there
and you're just lucky that I'm
being stood up-and _you_ want to go
to bed early?
CLARK
So.... is this a date?
LOIS
(appalled)
Date? Oh, you mean like in Kansas
where you meet my parents and then
try and give me a hickey in the
vacant lot behind the Dairy Freeze?
No, this is not a date. It's
business. I'm going to land Lex
Luthor's first one-on-one interview
if it kills me. And I will not
walk into his party unescorted. Of course, the great thing about it was the parallel description just a year and a half later, when Clark asks Lois out in "The Phoenix": LOIS (CONT'D)
(guarded)
You're asking me out?
CLARK
Yes! You know.... like on a date?
LOIS
(beat, then)
A date? You mean a real date? Like
where I take out my best perfume,
the one I bought after seeing 'Love
Affair', the good one not the
remake, and put a dab behind my
knee, even though I have no idea
why?
CLARK
Yeah... I guess that's what I'm
saying. Awwww. 
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