Lois & Clark Forums Forums Fan Fiction Lois & Clark Fanfic Comments: Listen

Hmmm. Writing an entire story in the voice of a hallucination is certainly avant guarde. It's unfortunately realistic (well, Dad probably can't fly) and something that some people have to go through on a daily basis.

Schizophrenia is an ugly disease.

The thought of someone with Superman's power not in their right mind is frightening.

Hopefully the voice ending is because the meds are working and not something else.

Anyway, thanks for an interesting, if grim piece of work.

Yikes.

This one gets the Kerth "can't go to sleep for two days after reading it" award for this year and every year. Brrr!

We don't know if this was Clark and Lois's child, one of their descendants, or maybe a very young Jason Trask. And not knowing adds to the spine-tingling quality of the piece. This is a real eye-opener, and as Shayne already mentioned, a super-being who is not in his or her right mind is a terrifying thought.

Brava to the author. And brava for having the courage to post such an interesting and disturbing piece. It was scary how the voice jumped from "you're worthless" to "they're going to kill you" so quickly. I was (and am) afflicted with Asperger's syndrome (a mild form of autism which makes the sufferer unaware of social niceties such as personal space and unable to make small talk at parties), so I have a very, very, minuscule glimmer of a hint of understanding of what is going on this unfortunate person's mind.

I have nothing else to add except: Wow.

It's amazing really that Clark didn't turn out like that once he realised just how different he was. I'm pretty sure I would be VERY strange...

I once read a fic where Clark himself got schizophrenia, real, true schizophrenia. I was upset for days afterwards. What should the world do if Superman - Superman - starts hallucinating? What if he gets paranoid? I remember thinking that they - we - should kill him. How can you - we - leave someone alive if he's got such awesome powers and such a deranged mind?

(And what does it do to us if we kill someone because we decide that this person is too dangerous to be allowed to live? We become Jason Trask, that's what.)

Horrible. And this, I gather, was Superman's son. It's no wonder if someone like him would go crazy trying to fit in.

Horrible, Queenie. But very good, too.

Ann

Wow. This is very powerful and so incredibly sad.

You are an extremely talented writer. The voice's comments allow us to appreciate the effect of the disease not only on the child, but on his parents as well. Lois (I assume), worried down to skin and bones, making pancakes in the kitchen, while Clark trys unsucessfully to convince his son that they want to help him. Then literally dragging his reluctant, superpowered boy into StarLabs(?) for yet another painful, but necessary, Kryptonite treatment.

I have to believe that. For my own sanity. The voice peters out, rather than ending abruptly, which lets me comfort myself with the thought that the meds are kicking in.

Difficult piece! I mean that as both difficult to write and difficult to figure out. I, too, imagine this is Lois and Clark's kid.

The voice is haunting, scary. Very good work with that!

I hope so too! At first I thought the kid was dying, which would have been so horrible But maybe he(?) found peace of mind after all.

Kudos on a very touching, emotional piece of writing!

~AnnaBtG.

Thanks for the comments, guys.

I've taken down my fic for a while. I'm hoping to get a non-super version of it published. Maybe after I do, I'll put the original back.

Thank you for reading and commenting! (and yes, I did mean for the meds to have kicked in. Sorry to everyone I freaked out )

Best of luck.

One question: why do you want to change it to a 'non-super' version? I thought the fact that the protagonist was Superman's son was crucial to the whole piece.

Apart from the fact that the entire trip with his dad revolves around his Kryptonite treatments, there was the paronoia related to his mom cooking for him when he doesn't need to eat, the fact (not explicitely stated in the piece, but which we, the reader, intuitively know) that his dad *had* to be the one to take him for his treatments, because he was the only one physically strong enough to drag him in the building when he balked, the notion that the voice emphasizes his differences as a means of tormenting him, not to mention the reader is forced to ponder what the consequences of a super-powered person not in control of his faculties could be. I don't know if the piece would be as powerful or effective, if you took the "super" aspect out.

Just my two cents worth.

I agree with Vicki. The story would not be as powerful without the super aspects of both Clark and the protagonist.

Would you please post the story again? I don't stop by the boards every day and I often make my decisions about what to read based on the fdk threads. Now I'm deeply disappointed I won't get a chance to read this one.