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Pulitzer
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OP
Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
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CJ rocks. Very nice introduction for him. And UltraWoman's not doing too badly, either Clark's going to be disappointed to come home and find he's missed all the fun Unless of course Ben's dad shows up and Lois & the kids could use a little backup... Personally, I hope they "accidentally" drop the creep off a high-rise. Using Kryptonite on his own son! That's even worse than the whole kidnapping-and-locking-in thing. PJ
"You told me you weren't like other men," she said, shaking her head at him when the storm of laughter had passed. He grinned at her - a goofy, Clark Kent kind of a grin. "I have a gift for understatement." "You can say that again," she told him. "I have a...." "Oh, shut up."
--Stardust, Caroline K
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
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Glad I wasn't drinking water when I read this... "I guess Superboy is probably all right," CJ said. "This way. I went in through a window, since the side door is locked, and I can't go into the cocktail lounge." SNORT!! The rest was grade 'A' as well. Go Lois! James
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
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Only have a second ot say...
GET BACK HERE!
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Hack from Nowheresville
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Hack from Nowheresville
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Get back here. You can't leave it like that. More please? Janine
I Do Whatever My Rice Krispies Tell Me To
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Kerth
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Kerth
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He's going to HATE being called Superboy a few years down the line!
Marcus L. Rowland Forgotten Futures, The Scientific Romance Role Playing Game
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
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Great part. We need more! Artemis
History is easy once you've lived it. - Duncan MacLeod Writing history is easy once you've lived it. - Artemis
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Kerth
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Kerth
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Delightful. Just great fun.
Framework4
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Blogger
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Blogger
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"I can't go into the cocktail lounge." Mr. Law and Order, Jr. Can't wait for Clark's reaction. I smell a press conference in the near future. More soon! I'm dying to see Lois and Ally get rescued by Wyatt...
CJ
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 3,145 Likes: 3 |
It is funny that Superboy said he couldn't go into the lounge, but it's important because it tells his listeners that he's as law-abiding as Superman and is just as conscious of his legal and moral limitations as is his old man. Not only is Superboy (yeah, he's gonna hate it when he's nineteen) unwilling to break the law, he's going to uphold it wherever he can.
The story is moving a little slow for my tastes, but the characters all have depth and this new telepathic link between Clark and Lois will have some very positive consequences. All in all, this is a good story, especially with all the kids involved.
I'm puzzled, though, why Lucy seems to be such a dope here. Her sister has been married to Superman for almost two decades and she's never figured it out? Either Lucy is dumber than a box of rocks or Clark and Lois are extremely good at pulling the wool over her eyes.
Keep them coming, Nan! And shame on you for leaving Lois in a position which will guarantee that your readers will flock to your next chapter! You've been taking evil lessons from Carol, I see. They're working.
Life isn't a support system for writing. It's the other way around.
- Stephen King, from On Writing
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Freelance Reporter
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Freelance Reporter
Joined: Jul 2004
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There must be some mistake. The post got cut off right after "The lock was easy to pick. Lois got it open within less than a moment and she eased the door open." Nan, I know you're busy, but please remedy this as soon as possible. We have kryptonite, a bunch of wanna-be-superheroes, and LOIS LANE (a.k.a. the original trouble magnet) breaking and entering. This doesn't bode well. I can't imagine you'd leave us hanging like that deliberately. Jackie
Jackie N. jacalynsue@zoominternet.net
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Boards Chief Administrator Nobel Peace Prize Winner
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Boards Chief Administrator Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 8,990 Likes: 28 |
Great part, but the end sort of bummed. Half the post was missing Michael
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
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Queen of the evil cliffhanger, I implore you to post more soon!
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Kerth
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Kerth
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The wails of agony tell me I've done my job well However, I assure you I'm working on the next part as we speak. I'll post it as soon as I'm happy with it. Nan PS: Seriously, thanks for all the great feedback. I really will have the next part up soon.
Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
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Are you happy with it yet?
How about now?
PJ
"You told me you weren't like other men," she said, shaking her head at him when the storm of laughter had passed. He grinned at her - a goofy, Clark Kent kind of a grin. "I have a gift for understatement." "You can say that again," she told him. "I have a...." "Oh, shut up."
--Stardust, Caroline K
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Merriwether
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Merriwether
Joined: Jan 2004
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I love all of the references to how much Superboy is like his old man. He looks so much like a kid, though, that they forget that he not only can fly but he's allowed to go out by himself. And the part about not going into the lounge is first rate.
Elisabeth
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