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Joined: Mar 2006
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Kerth
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Kerth
Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 2,367 |
Tank!!! I have absolutely no time since I'm supposed to be getting ready for work right now, but I couldn't resist reading this. And then I couldn't speed read through it because I was completely sucked in. It seemed impossible that no one had yet started a thread, so I'm starting one with the promise that I'll come back at lunchtime and lavish the praise and adoration that the story deserves then. (And that will give me time to consider the ending  ) Until then, this will have to suffice:  [Just adding part no. to header - LabRat]
Lois: You know, I have a funny feeling that you didn't tell me your biggest secret.
Clark: Well, just to put your little mind at ease, Lois, you're right.
Ides of Metropolis
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Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 1,791
Merriwether
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Merriwether
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 1,791 |
When I read the title and the name of the author, my first thought was "Oh no". And sure enough, you didn't disappoint. Though I do hope that Superman came to save her from the brink of death, as usual. Please?
"You need me. You wouldn't be much of a hero without a villain. And you do love being the hero, don't you. The cheering children, the swooning women, you love it so much, it's made you my most reliable accomplice." -- Lex Luthor to Superman, Question Authority, Justice League Unlimited
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Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 177
Hack from Nowheresville
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Hack from Nowheresville
Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 177 |
Oh Tank, You know how we want it to end. What would really be funny is if she was only trapped by her hair. Then you could have her cut it to get herself free. But really, we need good ole Superman to show up right about now.
Sue
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Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 2,994
Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 2,994 |
Tank, you must really be desperate to offer up a "Tank/?" challenge.
So, is the 'retired author' coming out from behind the saxophone again?
James
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Joined: Jul 2008
Posts: 581
Columnist
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Columnist
Joined: Jul 2008
Posts: 581 |
Tank, it's my birthday! You can't kill Lois!
But it's a great story so far.
Amber
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Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 3,145 Likes: 3
Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 3,145 Likes: 3 |
My vote? Superman rescues Lois as she is drifting off to her last sleep. But even though she sees Superman's bright costume and knows he's ripping her Jeep apart to get her free, she hears Clark's voice comforting her, feels Clark's arms cradle her, feels Clark fly her to the hospital.
Two days later - because her doctors have kept her sedated due to the extent of her injuries - Clark arrives to take her home and she starts putting the pieces together as he tells her how desperately Superman was searching for her. She figures "it" out but doesn't tell him she knows, then spends the rest of the day figuring out how to tell him.
And end it there, awaiting the followup challenge completion.
Unless there's another Lois from some other dimension waiting in the wings, you can't kill her off. Clark would be bereft forever. He might even seek some meager comfort in Mayson's arms (since this is after TOGOM but apparently before "Resurrection"), and wouldn't that just upset the universe's applecart?
Life isn't a support system for writing. It's the other way around.
- Stephen King, from On Writing
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,764 |
You're evil.
Don't deny it.
Everyone says I'm evil but no. You are.
Though I must say that the muse is interested - which is good as I haven' written a word in almost a week...
Carol
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Joined: Dec 2008
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Freelance Reporter
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Freelance Reporter
Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 76 |
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Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 76
Freelance Reporter
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Freelance Reporter
Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 76 |
You simply cannot kill off Lois - Superman WILL save her! I love that she leaves the Jeep to Jimmy. I also love Terry's "sequel", it becomes a Revelation story, AND Clark will at long last know that Lois loves him. (I have got to have the happy ending!) 
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Joined: Jul 2003
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Blogger
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Blogger
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 24 |
On-Star?  snarla2
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Joined: Jan 2004
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Merriwether
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Merriwether
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 1,864 |
Who in their right mind would vote for the tiger?
Lois annoys me in this one, though. She doesn't fight the way she normally does. Yes, she knows that it would take the jaws of life to free her, but she still doesn't try as much as I would expect her to. She doesn't honk the horn. She doesn't yell for Superman. She doesn't try opening a back window for cleaner air. She doesn't shut the engine off once an adequate amount of heat has been reached. She doesn't try very hard at all.
It was a nice will, but since she has inexplicably lost her will it doesn't balance out.
Elisabeth
who normally enjoys the bass players work
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Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 397
Beat Reporter
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Beat Reporter
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 397 |
I don't want Lois to die!!!
LOVE the ficcie, btw. I was laughing at Lois' last will and testament - too funny!
please have Superman (or Clark) save her! PLeeeeeeeeeze!
LOIS:I don't like you.
MAYSON: Really? Oh god, that is such a relief - I don't like you either.
LOIS: That makes me feel so much better
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Joined: Jun 2003
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Top Banana
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Top Banana
Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 1,384 |
For the record, here's my vote: My preference would be for Lois to live. My distant second is to leave the vignette as is. Ix-nay on a part II dealing with Clark's or anyone else's reaction to Lois's death. FDK: Very nicely written. I enjoyed reading this. 
"Hold on, my friends, to the Constitution and to the Republic for which it stands. Miracles do not cluster and what has happened once in 6,000 years, may not happen again. Hold on to the Constitution" - Daniel Webster
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Joined: Apr 2008
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Beat Reporter
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Beat Reporter
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 377 |
I don't remember hearing a "Help Superman"!!!!
hmmmm...
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Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 1,371 Likes: 1
Top Banana
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Top Banana
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 1,371 Likes: 1 |
Please don't kill Lois. But her realization of how she feels toward Clark, especially under these circumstances, presents some interesting opportunities.
Clark should rescue her!
Bob
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Joined: Apr 2003
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Merriwether
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Merriwether
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 1,999 |
I have to admit that Elizabeth brought up some interesting points. Upon reflection, I agree that Lois seems a bit passive. Of course, anyone who has experienced extreme cold will tell you that you don't function very well. You have a hard time thinking about anything except how cold you are.
Still, I have added a few paragraphs and sentences that address some of Elizabeth's concerns.
I have incased them in @paragraph@.
It isn't much, but I think it does give Lois back a little of her personality.
Tank (who is old, but never too old to 'steal' a good idea)
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Joined: Jun 2003
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Columnist
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Columnist
Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 652 |
Well if Tank won't write it I vote for Terry to continue his idea. I saw pretty much the same thing as Terry.
Someone keep going with this storyline!
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Joined: Oct 2003
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Top Banana
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Top Banana
Joined: Oct 2003
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Aww, Tank, you're killing me! Of course I want Lois to live!
~Sheila
I'm a firm believer in the fact that God doesn't put any more on us than we can bear. He does however make us come to Jesus every so often.
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,764 |
Erm, well, I have about 9 pages done... We'll see if it ever makes the light of day... Carol [who everyone thinks is evil so doubts anyone will want to read it ] [Edit: Tis off to beta... Nancy read most of it already but it wasn't quite done when I sent it and I knew she'd be headed to bed soon so I sent it anyway. Will see when she's done with it and will post...]
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Joined: Feb 2008
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Feb 2008
Posts: 2,823 |
Aargh! How can you leave Lois like that! (Of course, we know you love to put her in situations.) Right now I don't think I could bear it if she died. Face it, Tank, I'm a hopeless romantic and I really want Superman to come and save the day. Sorry if I'm raining on your angst parade.
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