From Part 3:
"It’s about time you showed up. Where the heck have you been? It’s past midnight."
"What..." he stammered out as his mental processes came to a complete halt at the sight before him. Lois Lane was sitting on his couch with her legs curled up under herself. Dressed in a simple white blouse and jeans with only sparse makeup on, she had never looked more beautiful to him. Making no move to stand up, she merely watched him with a questioning look on her face.
She shook him out of his reverie by saying, "Clark, pick your jaw up off the floor and close the door. It’s getting drafty in here."
Unconsciously, the hand holding the door pushed it shut. But cognitive thought returned slowly for Clark. With great difficulty, he managed to say, "What are you doing here, Lois?"
Lois stood and slowly approached him. "What do you think I’m doing here? I’m here to save you from all your foolishness in leaving Metropolis. I came here to get you to come home." She seemed to hesitate at that moment as if uncertain of her next words. With seeming reluctance, she continued, "And I wanted to come here and apologize to you."
****************************
Now Part 4:
Lois was a bundle of nerves. It had been so long since she had seen her ex-partner that she didn’t know what kind of reception she would get. She knew that Clark had left Metropolis because she had wounded him grievously. Despite the fact that the wedding had failed to take place and that Lex Luthor was dead, Clark had left town. That meant he was still hurting and was unlikely to forgive her. Why else would he have left since he had to have known that she did not marry Lex?
It was that fear that Clark could not forgive her that she carried with her all the way to Juneau. She had finally found him after accidentally running across a reference to a new online editor for the Juneau Empire. A quick call by Henderson on official police business to the newspaper confirmed that she had indeed found her Clark. The same call also provided her with an address and phone number for the new editor in town, information Lois would have had difficulty obtaining on her own since Clark’s phone was unlisted. Having found him, she was delighted initially. That wonderful feeling had quickly given way to fear. But Lois Lane would never let something as simple as fear stop her from doing what she felt she had to do.
Within a day, Lois was on a plane to Seattle, where she changed planes to Juneau. All along the way, she thought of what she would say to him when she saw him again. She knew she had to be very careful of what she said or else Clark would never let her back into his life. She had a terrible burning urge to tell him she loved him immediately but knew that would be a terrible idea. He would never believe her after the events of the last two months.
And who could blame him? Clark’s accusation that she had chosen a relative stranger over her best friend still tore at her soul, mostly because it was true. With her behavior, she didn’t deserve Clark’s friendship, let alone his love. But here she was trying to get him back anyway. Standing in front of Clark now, Lois began to panic. What she said in the next few minutes would determine the course of both of their lives. If she failed to win him over, somehow she knew that neither of them would ever find happiness with another person. With every ounce of discipline under her command, she willed herself to concentrate on the most important conversation of her life.
**********************
"Apologize?" Clark finally managed to stammer out after a few moments.
"Why don’t we sit down, Clark. I think we’ll be more comfortable talking on the couch."
Clark nodded. Still in a daze, he moved to the couch and plunked himself down on it. Lois sat down next to him and grabbed his right hand in both of hers.
After a pregnant pause Lois finally managed to start speaking, though to Clark she seemed incredibly nervous, something he didn’t normally equate with Lois Lane. "Clark, I know I’ve treated you badly over the last few months, and I wanted to apologize for it. First, I know you’re not the type of person to say, ‘I told you so,’ but you were right about Lex. You did tell me that Lex was an evil man. I didn’t believe you, and I should have. I am so sorry about that. Everything you said to me in our last conversation was right.
"And then I got engaged to Lex even though I wasn’t in love with him after turning down your incredibly sweet offer. Thinking from your point of view, it was incredibly callous of me to do that. I can see how I made you feel like you weren’t important to me. But Clark, you are the most important person in my life. I want you back in my life, and I want to ask you to forgive me for the way I’ve treated you. It’s not the way someone should behave towards her best friend.
"I’ve thought long and hard over the last few weeks about why I behaved so appallingly. What I found out about myself isn’t very flattering. I was afraid. I was afraid of being alone, but at the same time I was desperately afraid of being close to someone. I know it doesn’t make any sense, but I chose Lex over you because I knew deep down that I couldn’t love Lex and that I couldn’t ever be close to him like I was with you.
"You know my past. All my relationships have always been federal disasters, so I thought that if I married someone I didn’t really care for, I could keep from being hurt again. Instead, I ruined everything for all the people I did care for: you, Perry, Jimmy, all the Planet gang. Especially you. It was all because of me that Lex did what he did. And Lex turned into the worst federal disaster of all."
At the unreadable expression in Clark’s eyes, Lois’ panic increased, wiping out her carefully prepared speech and launching her into full babble mode. "Oh, god. I’m not very good at this. You might have guessed I’m not very good at this apologizing thing. I practiced this all the way here, and I sound stupid even to myself. I know you’ll probably never forgive me, but I really wish you would. I don’t know what I’d do if you didn’t forgive me. It’s not fair for you to have to leave Metropolis because of me. I should be the one to leave since I’m the one who messed up so badly. Tell you what. Why don’t you go on back to Metropolis while I stay here? It’s nice up here. I’ve always wanted to visit. I'll probably learn to love it up here if I stayed. It’s a bit cold, but I think I could learn to love the penguins or whatever it is they have here..."
Without warning, Clark’s lips closed over Lois’, stopping her in mid-babble. Clark had missed her so much over the past few weeks. Seeing her again and listening to her vintage Lane babble, Clark was irresistibly drawn to her like a moth to a flame. Though he knew it was wrong, he couldn’t help himself. Somehow instinctively, he knew it was the only way to stop her.
From the moment their lips met, Clark was overwhelmed. Feelings he never knew existed surged through him. His free hand wrapped itself around her waist of its own volition. At the same time, Lois released his other hand, wrapping both arms around his neck as she began to respond eagerly to his kiss. Before either one knew it, they were in a tight embrace, their lips nibbling and their tongues seeking and being granted entrance. Their hands roamed freely, exploring each other urgently but tenderly. Lois moaned quietly as Clark detached his lips from hers and began exploring her throat with open-mouth kisses.
"I love you, Clark," whispered Lois in a moment of unguarded passion.
Clark froze, his eyes suddenly seeing red. All the hurt he had been nursing for the past few weeks hit him all at once. He pulled back and quickly disengaged from their embrace, moving off the couch and towards the front door. Lois, still partially in a passion-clouded haze, called out to him. "Clark!"
Clark’s hand stopped just short of the door knob and clenched itself into a fist. He silently berated himself for his lack of control and for temporarily deluding himself that there could be something more between them than friendship. He tried to push the pain away, but after suffering for so long, it proved impossible. He whirled around angrily, now facing Lois again. "Don’t you dare say you love me when I know it isn’t true," he said in a voice full of misery.
Now fully emerged from her fugue, Lois cried out, "Clark, please! I do..."
"Don’t," said Clark, cutting her off with wave of his hand. "I think it’s best if you leave now and never come back."
"No."
"What?" The last thing Clark expected was an outright refusal by Lois. Her reaction was so surprising that it shocked him out of his anger.
"I wasn’t lying when I said I loved you, Clark."
"Come on, Lois. How can I possibly believe you after everything you’ve done to me...to us?"
"Well, I’m not leaving until I’ve explained. If after that, I haven’t convinced you, then I’ll leave. But not a moment sooner." Lois stood and put her hands on her hips and jutted her chin out mulishly.
Clark sighed. He knew when he was beaten. Mad Dog Lane had made an appearance. Once that happened, he knew it was pointless to argue. Even if he still had his invulnerability, it wouldn’t protect him from the wrath of Lane.
Resigned, Clark moved back into his living room and plopped himself down in an arm chair directly opposite the couch, separated by a coffee table, purposely putting as much distance between them as possible. "Fine. Talk. Then get out."
Lois sat back down on the couch, pulling her legs up and folding them under her. "Thank you, Clark. I guess I can understand why you won’t believe me when I say ‘I love you.’" She paused, gathering her thoughts. "You didn’t come to the wedding, did you?"
"Of course I didn’t. You know that."
"Well, I didn’t come to the wedding either."
Clark practically fell out of his chair at her matter-of-fact statement. Today certainly seemed to be a day for surprises. "What do you mean you didn’t go to the wedding?"
"It means exactly that. I couldn’t go through with it. You probably thought that Perry and Bill Henderson stopped the wedding, didn’t you?"
Clark nodded.
"There wasn’t any wedding for them to stop. I wasn’t even in the building when they showed up." At Clark’s confused expression, Lois continued. "When I was looking in a mirror standing in my wedding dress, I started thinking about you and how much you mean to me, and how much you looked out for me and supported me over the last year. I remembered all the times we watched videos together and cuddled up on your couch. I remembered all the times we kissed each other and how your kisses made me feel. Even if they weren’t real to you, they were always real to me."
Lois paused briefly with a dreamy expression on her face. Then she continued with a much more serious look. "Like any bride, I tried out some combinations of my married name, and out of nowhere the name Lois Lane-Kent popped into my head. It just sounded so right. That’s when I knew I couldn’t marry Lex. I love you, Clark Kent. I think I always have, but just couldn’t admit it to myself."
Her face then took on a look of concern. "I went looking for you after that. You weren’t at your apartment, so I went back to the LexCorp building, hoping you were there. You weren’t, but Perry and half the cops in Metropolis were. I was so scared something terrible had happened to you. Over the next few weeks, I looked everywhere for you, thinking you were dead. It wasn’t until yesterday that I found out you were hiding out here. So here I am, hoping to get you to come back to Metropolis with me, and hoping that you’ll still love me even after all I've done."
Clark sat in his chair utterly stunned by the events of the last few minutes. Could Lois really love him after all that had happened? Had she really fallen in love with plain old Clark Kent? Hope started to rise in him at Lois’ declaration, but something else occurred to him which cast doubt within him. "Uh, Lois. What about Superman?"
******************************
Superman.
Lois had practically forgotten about the missing Man of Steel in her eagerness to find Clark. Old emotions of friendship and loss emerged but not the deep sense of love she used to believe she felt for him. But now that she knew how she felt about Clark, she realized that dreams of Superman were just that, dreams.
Lois glanced at Clark and saw a very nervous expression on his face. She realized that she had to handle this issue very carefully. She was aware of the jealousy Clark had always felt when she talked about Superman. But she had to be honest as well.
"You know what happened to Superman, right?" Lois asked him. Clark seemed to get a rather odd expression on his face at that question, as if he looked guilty. But why would Clark feel guilty over what had befallen Superman? She wanted to pry but resisted the temptation, somehow knowing that any questions in that direction wouldn’t be received very well.
So Lois pushed on with her train of thought. "He disappeared at about the same time you left Metropolis. I don’t know if you were aware of the details since Henderson kept them under wraps, but we don’t even know if he’s alive or dead."
"I know all that, Lois," Clark interrupted. "I wasn’t referring to that. When I told you I loved you in the park, you essentially told me you were in love with Superman. I want to know how you feel about him now. I have a hard time believing that you could love me, as you claim, after you turned me down, then told Superman you loved him, and then nearly married Lex Luthor. If this is just a game to try to convince me to come back to Metropolis...?"
While Clark was speaking, Lois looked downward in shame. Her head popped up, though, on his last question. "No, Clark!" Lois exclaimed. "I would never do that to you. I was working my way up to how I felt about Superman. I know I told Superman that I loved him. I gather he told you all about it." Without waiting for an answer from Clark, she continued. "When both of you disappeared, I realized it was you I couldn’t stop thinking about. I was worried for Superman, but I realized he was right.
"I don’t know how much Superman told you about our talk a few weeks ago, but he basically told me that he didn’t believe I loved him. He said I didn’t know him well enough to love him." She looked at Clark with a wry smile. "I was actually mad at him for not believing me, but looking back now, I have to admit that I don’t really know him. Oh, he’s a wonderful person who does so much for us without asking anything in return, but I don’t know his name or where he lives or what his likes or dislikes are, or what his favorite color is. Now listen to me. I’m starting to talk like a video dating service.
"I have to be honest with you, Clark. I still love him, but I think I’m more in love with his ideals than I am with the person. It wasn’t his super powers that attracted me to him, though they’re pretty great, or the fact that he has a body to die for." Lois grinned at that, while Clark turned beet red. "It was what he stood for: his caring and his goodness. In fact, he’s a lot like you. If he were an ordinary man with no powers at all, he’d be you..." Lois trailed off while staring directly at Clark’s face.
She noticed that Clark’s face had suddenly turned white as a sheet. Lois flashed back to the last argument she’d had with Clark. Immediately, she recalled what he had said to her during his very impassioned speech just before he had run away.
<Sorry, Lois, but I’m just an ordinary man who loves you and wants you to love him back.>
That was what had sounded so familiar to her back then. Clark had echoed the same words she had used when trying to convince Superman that she loved him. Now either Superman had told Clark about the details of their conversation or...
Lois’ mind rebelled at the crazy idea that popped into her head. Superman is Clark. Clark is Superman. It wasn’t possible. She stared at Clark and saw the resemblance to the now formerly missing superhero. She had been so blind. <How could I possibly have missed it? How could I be fooled by just a pair of glasses?> she wailed to herself. <It’s so obvious, now that I’m looking closely.> In hindsight, Martha's seemingly misplaced question about Superman suddenly made sense.
"You...you...you’re Superman!" she accused him.
She then noticed Clark’s expression, which resembled a trapped animal. No, she corrected, a cornered RAT! <Ooh! He is SO dead.>
A shudder went through her as she realized what she had just thought. That was Clark who had been trapped in a kryptonite cage. He almost did die. It was Clark who had been lured to Luthor’s lair and had been trapped like an animal inside a cage, tortured for such a long time. And it was all because of her. The anger completely disappeared to be replaced by shame.
In answer to her unspoken question on why he had never told her, incidents from their past made it very apparent. She had treated Clark so abominably when they had first met. And she had thrown herself at Superman for so long, never realizing that her fantasy was usually no more than twenty feet away, sitting at a nearby desk. Memories of past things she’d said to Clark or Superman tormented her.(*)
<Clark is the before. Superman is the after. Make that the way, way after.>
<Hey, everybody! Clark’s alive! And if Clark's alive, that means Superman’s alive!>
<I mean I love you...like a...brother.>
<Companionship for Superman, right? That's no problem. I’m available.>
<I'm sorry. I just don't feel that way about you...romantically. You're my best friend. And the only partner I could ever stand to work with. I admire you, and I respect you, and I do love you...as a friend.>
<I haven't said yes, yet. And I won't, until I've talked it over with someone else...If you see him, will you tell him I'm looking for him?>
<I’m so completely in love with you that I can’t do anything else without knowing.>
<I know *you*. And I don't mean you the celebrity or you the superhero. If you had *no* powers at all, if you were just an ordinary man leading an ordinary life, I would love you just the same. Can't you believe that?>
The last one was the worst. No wonder Clark had never told her about his other identity. She wouldn’t have done so in his place, either. She didn’t deserve to know this incredible secret. What she had done to Clark in the last couple of months now took on even more significance as she realized the full impact of her behavior. With the cruelest irony, she had turned him down in Centennial Park only to throw herself at him just a few hours later in his other guise. She knew at the time that it was terribly unfair to ask him to contact Superman for her just minutes after turning him down. Now she realized how much sheer agony she must have inflicted upon him. It clearly explained why Superman had been so rude at her apartment a few hours later.
To make matters worse, she had turned right around after Superman’s rejection and had gotten engaged to his archenemy. Knowing now what she did about Lex made her understand Clark’s anguish even more. She was certain Lex had used her as bait to lure Clark into his trap. She had nearly destroyed her best friend and the man she loved without knowing it, and she had nearly cost the world its only superhero.
It was no wonder that Clark had left Metropolis. She had hurt him in every way possible. She could have avoided all of it, though, if she had not been such a fool. If only she had listened to Clark at the beginning about Lex. If only she’d known how she felt about Clark when he declared his feelings for her.
Tears came flowing down her cheeks as she turned her back to him, unable to stifle the sobs coming from deep within her. All she wanted to do now was to run away from here and never come back. He probably hated her for what she had done to him. No wonder he could barely stand to look at her when he first came home.
Before she knew it, though, she felt strong arms surround her. Clark’s arms. He turned her around to face him and hugged her tightly. She clung to Clark desperately as if he were a lifeline.
"Hey, why are you crying? You know I can’t stand it when you cry," he whispered to her. With Lois encircled within his arms, he tried to convey as much love and comfort to her as he could muster, ignoring his own feelings. He pulled away slightly to wipe her tears tenderly with his hand, then pulled her back to him.
She turned her head to look at his shoulder, still unable to look him in the eye.
Clark continued, "If anything, I thought you’d be yelling at me or hitting me with a 2x4 rather than crying. Talk to me, Lois. Please?"
After a long silence broken only by the occasional sound of her quiet sobs, Lois glanced up at Clark to gauge his reaction. What she saw astounded her. Instead of the hatred he should have felt for her, she saw love shining in his eyes. That caused her to break down and cry harder, grabbing onto him even tighter. Clark said nothing more, but just continued to hold her until the tears subsided.
Finally, Lois mustered the courage to face him. She pulled away slightly and wiped viciously at the tears staining her face. "I’m sorry, Clark. I think I understand now. I'd understand if you hated me for all that I did to you. I...I’ll just go now. If it’s any consolation to you, I hate myself for everything that’s happened."
Lois turned to go, but found herself still held securely in Clark’s arms. She looked at him with a questioning look in her eye.
Clark smiled at her, the first smile he’d had for what seemed like forever. "Do you really think you can get away from me that easily? I love you, Lois. I always will. If you really mean it when you say you love me, and I believe you, then I’d be a fool if I let you get away again." He paused and, with a gleam in his eye, continued, "Okay, a bigger fool."
Lois laughed and felt her insides melt. Returning his smile, she said, "I do mean it, Clark. I love you, too. And I don’t really want to leave."
"We’ve both made a lot of mistakes. I could have tried harder to stop you from marrying Luthor. I could have even come to you as Superman to try to convince you that Luthor wasn’t who he seemed."
"I’d have believed you, too, I think. I’m so ashamed, Clark. I was so horrible to you as Clark and made a fool of myself with Superman. Do you think you can ever forgive me? It’s a lot to ask because I don’t think I could ever forgive myself."
"Only if you can forgive me. I kept acting like a jealous idiot every time Luthor’s name came up. If I hadn’t, maybe you would have believed Clark. The real problem, though, was that I was jealous. I was jealous that I was losing the one person I’d been looking for all my life. I was jealous because Luthor would be able to do all the things I wanted to do with you. Including this..."
Clark bent down and kissed her. At first, it was just a gentle brushing of his lips against hers, but the passion quickly grew. The second their lips touched, she was lost. She couldn’t believe any man could make her feel this way. The sensations quickly drove all away all cognitive thought. She was drowning in desire, and the only one who could save her was the man who, beyond all hope and reason, had forgiven her and continued to love her through everything that had happened.
***************************
Clark was in heaven. Nothing compared to being in love with Lois Lane and having her love him in return. Her kisses were a drug he could easily become addicted to. For a brief moment, he thought about the pain Lois had caused him over the last several months but decided quickly that thinking was highly overrated. No longer filled with bitterness, he realized that he had already forgiven her. He had seen in her eyes the sincere regret she felt for the nightmare that had transpired between them and saw, beyond doubt, the love he had always hoped to see one day shining in her face. With eagerness, he reopened his heart to love and gave himself to the woman of his dreams.
Clark’s head came up momentarily as something Lois said earlier suddenly struck him. "Lois Lane-Kent?" he asked in an amused tone?
Lois smiled and in a teasing tone replied, "Don’t get ahead of yourself, buster. I need to give you something to look forward to, don’t I? And if you’re good - I mean really, really good - I just might consider it."
Then Lois pulled Clark’s lips back to hers and all was forgotten as they lost themselves in each other’s embrace.
Lois suddenly pulled away from Clark, surprised at a different sensation. Looking around her, she gasped, "Clark! We’re floating!"
Clark looked at her with a surprised and delighted expression on his face, as if he hadn’t expected that to happen.
"What is it, Clark?"
"Oh nothing. It’s a long story. We’ve got a lot still to discuss, so I’ll tell you later." They did indeed have much to talk about. They needed time together to heal the wounds they had inflicted upon each other. And then there was Superman. With Lois back in his life, there was no question that Superman would soon be back in action. Together, they had to come up with a way to reintroduce Superman to Metropolis without connecting that to the reappearance of Clark Kent as well. ‘Together’ sounded very nice. With Lois, Clark felt there was nothing they couldn’t do.
Most remarkable was that Lois had restored his belief in true love. And maybe he had done the same for her.
While it was important for them to have their talk, Clark had more urgent things on his mind. With a lop-sided grin on his face, he told her, "In the meantime, I’ve got something better to do."
"Oh?" asked Lois coyly, with a twinkle in her eye. "What would that be?"
"Have you ever kissed anyone on the ceiling before?"
THE END
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Footnotes: (*)
* The quotes Lois thinks of immediately after realizing Clark is Superman are taken from (in order):
"Neverending Battle"
"Strange Visitor (From Another Planet)"
"All Shook Up"
"Vatman"
and the final four:
"Barbarians at the Planet"
