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[Sorry about the delay between posts, got distracted by kids and the stupid flood protection...]

FDK goes here smile .

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Thursday, either before 9am or 1-3pm ET

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[/i]Chapter 106[/i]
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~*~Lois~*~

"We're going to the cabin?" I asked.

Clark nodded. "You're cashing in your dinner night."

"What?"

He rolled his eyes. "Remember? I promised you your favorite dinner at the cabin as one of your anniversary presents. But it snowed the weekend we were going to go and then you got sick."
Chapter 107
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~*~Clark~*~

She nodded. "I'm ready for my cake now."

I zipped to the kitchen and back, sitting on the floor next to her. I filled the fork with just a taste of cake. "Open up." My elbow rested on the couch, fork poised to feed her.

She glared at me. "Put enough on there for me to actually taste it."

I laughed and put more on the fork. "Better?"
Thanks smile .

Carol

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I wanted to feel loved.
Ohmygod, don't we all. My heart breaks for her just a little. frown

And ohmygod, you're such a mess, Clark LOL and I can't help but laugh. I'm glad he brought up the Lana thing, and I'm also glad Lois tacked this:

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and not just because you have no place better to go
because I kind of feel like this is where Clark is right now...if not Lana, then who else?

And just for kicks:

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"I don't know. You keep making sure that neither one of us forgets about the temporary nature of this marriage. Is that some way of trying to protect yourself or something?"
Well, duh! Of course she's trying to protect herself. She doesn't have a reason *not* to; you even say you aren't planning on being in this marriage after the five years are up, bro.

Great parts,
JD


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*Relaxed sigh* Coming in here is like taking a spa break from end-of-term papers, presentationa, exams... and all that jazz.

These were fun parts. I love that Christopher is so demanding. He's sweet and funny and seriously protective of Jack Jack, lol.

How about that uncooperative little newt that wouldn't let us see his/her gender on the ultrasound! So not fair. We need to know what color to paint the nursery. Hmmm, I suppose we'd better go with the standard blue and yellow (with a few red accents thrown in).

So, Clark made a rescue. I wonder how these incidents are going to build as we go, especially given the fact that Navance is due a check-in. Lois's worries are not heedless, I fear.

I'm glad that they had that talk at the end. Lois was quick to claim not to know why she keeps bringing Lana up when Clark asked if it was a defense mechanism--methinks he hit it on the head, but will he realize that he got it right? I'm with Sara in wondering just *what* it's going to take for Clark to change his attitude about loving Lois. (I'm almost afraid to find out).

I mean, she wants to be loved, he wants to experience love, but something is holding him back. It could still be his internal/emotional commitment to Lana, but he's admitted to thinking of her less and less in that way. I do think Lana is a factor, but there's something else going on that I can't identify. It's almost as if he's not ready to love anyone... huh

BTW- The New Adventures of Batman, lol. Nice. Clark has all kinds of superhero examples in this universe. It will be interesting to see what he comes up with.

Back to the grind, thanks for the respite!
~s


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I knew it was at least partly my own fault. I was sure I wasn't sending off 'please love me, stay with me, have a family with me' vibes.
Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper
They talked
hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper

Michael


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Loved this part. Lois and Clark are - once again! - talking. Am I seeing a trend here or what?

And, wow, Clark finally admits that he isn't all that fixated on life with Lana any more. Good for him.

I loved the scene with Chris and Jack-Jack Superbaby. Like him, I love the movie, ahm, both movies (the long and the short one). Especially the fact that both Jack-Jack parents are sure that "Jack-Jack doesn't have any superpowers." Until he floats around, teleports, fires up, changes shape, increases his body's density (I think that's what he does when this bad guy tries to fly away with him) and so on. Maybe Chris will suprise us (and his parents) just like Jack-Jack?


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God, Carol, this is breaking my heart. I know what it is like to be in love with someone who doesn't love you back, but I also know how it feels when you get past it and they realize that they made a mistake but you don't want to be with them at that point.

When it happened to me, I was 20ish and had a very friable ego. He flaunted his new "love" in my face every chance he got. She was tall, thin, and beautiful. I used his maliciousness as strength to get past him. Ultimately, she turned out to be his worst nightmare for 18 years (if you get my drift)! He tried for months to get back with me and I really felt bad about hurting his feelings but I just couldn't give him another chance, especially after I was starting to get my self esteem back.

I guess, like Lois, I didn't want to be the default. She just wants to be Clark's first choice. I think that in spite of Navance, I would probably start divorce proceedings. The longer she stays with him, the harder it will be and his constant rejection can only push her into a deeper depression.

I would like to think that you will put your toys back as they are supposed to be, but if not, I wish Lois the opportunity to turn Clark down when he realizes that he is in love with her after he hurts her by divorcing her. He is being such an ass by planning to ask someone else to take him and his two children when there is no reason for him to leave the good thing that he has. I guess the grass looks greener with anybody else, who isn't Lois. What will Jonathan and Martha say?

Nice job, Carol! Any chance you'll post agin tonight? LOL!

wallbash

~Sheila


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Sonia said:

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I mean, she wants to be loved, he wants to experience love, but something is holding him back. It could still be his internal/emotional commitment to Lana, but he's admitted to thinking of her less and less in that way. I do think Lana is a factor, but there's something else going on that I can't identify. It's almost as if he's not ready to love anyone...
I remember that Clark thought to himself not so long ago (but I don't have the strength to look it up, sorry, so I'm going to sort-of-quote it, sorry):

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If Lois was the one, wouldn't I know it by now?
To me this is interesting. Clark expects love to be romantic, magical, all-consuming.

Maybe like this:

[Linked Image]

Or maybe like this:

[Linked Image]

But in any case, I think Clark is waiting for the love that will sweep him off his feet. That will transform his world. That will fill him with elation and certainty. Or, to use another expression, he is waiting for the love that will make him be 'in love'.

Lois isn't doing that for him. She doesn't make him fly. Maybe it's symbolic that he doesn't want to go flying with her.

Perhaps Lana did make his soul take flight. Or he thought she did. I don't think she really did, because Clark has also thought to himself that it was hard to resist Lana's erotic advances, but it was impossible to resist Lois's. If Lana was so much 'the one' for him, then how could he resist her but not Lois?

Perhaps Clark is thinking of Jonathan and Martha's love for each other. Jonathan loved Martha so much that he wanted to be Clark's father because of his love for Martha. Clark decided right away that he would protect Lois's child and maybe be some sort of father to it, but his mind has kept insisting that he hasn't done it because he loves Lois. And doesn't he deserve to meet the kind of woman who makes him love so much? Who makes him want to do everything for her child and who welcomes him into her arms and her heart every night?

This quote from part 105 was interesting and somehow heartbreakingly sad:

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"For us to have more babies, we'd have to make love and that's not going to happen. You don't want to be close enough to me to touch me most of the time – unless I'm puking or you're being all nice about the pregnancy – so how exactly would I manage to get pregnant again in the next three years?"

He looked incredulous. "You don't want me anywhere near you most of the time. I've tried to respect that; to not intrude on your space."
Clark complains that Lois is avoiding him. They can't make love, because she doesn't want to.

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"But you aren't planning on this marriage lasting past Navance's death or Christopher's fifth birthday."

"No," I said, as gently as I could. "Do you want it to?"
And he still doesn't understand that Lois needs to protect her heart because he is still counting down the days until he can leave her, so he can go looking for his real love, who will make him fly.

What a birthday gift to give to Christopher on his fifth birthday, by the way. Say good-bye to Mommy or Daddy, bud, because one of them is going to leave you.

I'd like to see Lois and Clark's wedding license. It should say 'Best before ... ... ... (fill in a suitable date) or Expires by ... ... ...

Seriously, Clark. You are too romantic for your own good. And you are being really selfish, too.

[Linked Image]

Can't you stay with Lois unless she makes you feel like this all the time?

Ann

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While, I understand the other reader's perspective that Clark is selfish, I don't agree. (I suppose that doesn't surprise anyone by now. smile )

Do I understand this situation is tearing Lois's heart apart? Of course. I've never been rejected, so I can't empathize, but I can undrstand that.

I also agree that Clark IS expecting his feelings for Lois to be "all consuming" like fireworks, or something. I have to say that was part of my problem when I was "looking for love" with my boyfriend. It wasn't so I assumed I wasn't in love with him.

BUT this is why I don't agree that Clark is selfish.

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Could we live together and parent our kids and be friends and such like we had the last year? Without the being in love part? Being platonic partners in a marriage?

Maybe.

No.

It wouldn’t be enough for me, I didn't think, and even before Lois said what she said, I don't think it would have been enough for her.
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Both of us wanted the kind of relationship we'd seen played out in my parents' relationship, in Nana and Pop Pop and even Sam and Ellen before she'd died.
In other words, Clark doesn't think it would BE FAIR TO LOIS to remain in the marriage after the five years. Even though she loves him, she wants him to be in love with her.
Not to say with her because he feels sorry for her or something.

Clark believes Lois deserves someone who IS REALLY IN LOVE WITH her.

And all things aside, I agree. Lois would not WANT Clark to "settle" for her, just because of the kids.

Furthermore,
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After last night, I had the impression that – for now at least – Lois wanted that kind of relationship with me.
It sounds to me like Clark believes Lois loves him, but it's not true love. It will be something she will have a hard time getting over, but she'll be able to do it.

Personally, I believe (and I'm sure most of the readers believe) that it IS true love for Lois.
But I don't think Clark understands that.

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Again, Sara, you are stating your point so well, and I'm not arguing with you... not exactly! wink Ah, but I thought that this snippet from part 105 was interesting:

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But she could stop loving me?

Where did that thought come from?

Did I want her to?

The answer was... yes. I thought.
Clark realizes that Lois loves him. (And right now I'm not going to debate what sort of love she is actually feeling for him.) But for the first time he asks himself what it means to him that she loves him, and what it would mean to him if she stopped loving him. To Clark, that is a startling thought.

I believe that Clark realizes, although he doesn't want to admit to himself, that he would miss Lois's love for him if she stopped feeling that love.

It could be that Clark wants someone else to be there for Lois and *really* love her. But it could be that he is rationalizing his own wish to leave her and find 'real' love for himself.

On the other hand(!), I think it is absolutely true that Clark cares for Lois. He doesn't want her to be unhappy. He just wants both of them to find real love with other people.

Ann

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carolm Offline OP
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Thanks guys smile .

JD - yes, we all want to be loved smile . And yes she's trying to protect herself...

Sonia - LOL! Think you're the first one to find this relaxing wink . I hadn't planned on writing so much Christopher but it was a blast. I remembered my niece had brought my SIL crackers when she was pregnant and there we go...

Michael - it's hard to send off those vibes when you're puking half the time wink .

Lara - talking? Hmmm... will have to fix that. I'm not sure what all Jack Jack's powers are...

Sheila - will post in the morning, hopefully. Though I did make some real progress today! And I think that's all I'm going to say wink .

Ann - you have some interesting points - ones I've considered. One of my favorite book series is Love Comes Softly and the first book talks about just that - that it's no always fireworks and sunsets, sometimes it sneaks up on you - kind of like Lois in canon I think, though they definitely had fireworks [and Christmas lights wink ] too.

Sara - ditto what I said above. And I think you've hit it at least partially. He wants both of them to have the 'love is who you can't live without' kind of love and, right now at least, he doesn't see them having it with each other, but he does want that, not only for himself but for her too. He wants her to be happy. I think Clark feels like Lois loves him like he doesn't quite realize he loved Lana [or how you guys are interpreting it anyway wink ]. He wondered at one point what it meant that he'd been able to live without Lana even though it hadn't been easy at first. He thinks it's something she can deal with *relatively* easy - as in not like Nana dealing with Pop Pop's death [relative is a relative term there wink ].

Ann [again] - I think he wants both of them to find real love but *thinks* it *has* to be with other people eventually. He thinks that he'd have some sign by now that he's in love with Lois, but it's always possible that he's looking for the wrong signs...

More tomorrow smile .
Carol

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I'm still reading and loving it and thinking how possibly Clark could realize it's Lois he truely loves and for it to have be circumstances where she might even believe him...

Here's my scenario:
Navance! The way to happily ever after. He somehow kidnaps Lois (after the pregnancy), the Sceeves save Chris and Clark just has to realize that with the kids in safety and Lois missing, that he can't live without her. Enter rescue mission and heartfelt confession afterwards.

...*grins* It'll probably be something completely different. But if the big lunkhead doesn't come around, I'll whip out the K-bat. *nods*

~Sira.


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