|
|
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 527
Columnist
|
OP
Columnist
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 527 |
Very interesting premise... let me see if I read some of the clues right... New Krypton was more or less a penal colony/insane asylum?  Back to the real story... I can't wait to see what happens to Lara in Arizona and what she'll do when she sees Superman...
Sara "Lieta"
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,764
Pulitzer
|
|
Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,764 |
/cries/
She refuses to put my fave ship in this one.
/pout/
/more pout/
Queenie is EVIL!
Carol
|
|
|
|
Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 85
Freelance Reporter
|
|
Freelance Reporter
Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 85 |
Dangit - I was trying not to get hooked on a story during finals!! Oh, well. C'est la vie! Great premise! I can't wait to see where this goes. . . I'm especially awaiting a confrontation between Lara and Martha - that should be interesting! Does Lara know anything about Kryptonian reproduction, hmm? 
I have heard there are troubles of more than one kind.
Some come from ahead and some come from behind.
But I've bought a big bat. I'm all ready you see.
Now my troubles are going to have troubles with me!
~Dr. Seuss
|
|
|
|
Joined: Feb 2008
Posts: 2,823
Pulitzer
|
|
Pulitzer
Joined: Feb 2008
Posts: 2,823 |
Holy cow! Jor-El thought for a moment, then walked over to a shelf and retrieved a small globe. “We can tell him the planet has been destroyed. If he knows where he is from, but believes we no longer exist, then there will be no reason for him to come here except perhaps to honor our memories. By that time, what with the planet’s crude technology, it will still be too inconvenient for him to travel here for such a trivial purpose.” Is this heresy? *gasp* You're tampering with the central tenet of the Superman mythology! All kidding aside, congratulations on your originality. “So then we will lie to him, just like the council lied to the insane when they were all exiled, telling them that they were to found a colony.” Tee-hee! This explains why the New Kryptonians were so wack! Given the way the NK's acted on the show, the backstory that the founders were insane is so believable. “Oh, my son,” she whispered. “My son, my little Kal-El. I am so sorry. Please forgive us. If circumstances were different, we would gladly keep you and raise you!” Her eyes became misty. “Jor-El and I both love you.” Even though I've accused you of "heresy", you still have the basics of the legend. The reasons may be different but the outcome (at least in terms of Kal-El ending up on Earth) is the same. Of course, exploring those different reasons will make this fic fascinating! What you are doing with Lara and her POV is extremely interesting. Already she has had a great trauma in her life (having to give up a child, and not just give it up for adoption - she had to send it across galaxies!) I'm assuming that she was never able to have another child, that she miscarried: The image of his wife lying in blood, screaming in pain and crying that Rao was punishing her for what they’d done. You never hear stories about Superman's mother because it's assumed that she perished in the destruction of Krypton. And now, Krypton isn't really destroyed! And Lara is alive - and now she's on Earth! She'll know that she will have super-powers - how will she choose to use them? And of course she'll know who Superman is, right away - who else could it be but Kal-El? And how will Clark react to meeting his biological mother? As he said once before, "It's the not knowing that kills you." What will it be like, to talk with his bio-mother, and find out the true story? (Assuming that Lara wants to tell him.) Lois? Martha and Jonathan? What will they feel about Clark meeting his biological mother? What will the Lara/Martha interaction be like? Wow, QotC, what a great premise you have for this story! I'm hooked already. Please post more soon!
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 1,371 Likes: 1
Top Banana
|
|
Top Banana
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 1,371 Likes: 1 |
Wow! I love the premise. I love the opening. And I REALLY love that New Krypton is an insane asylum. That would explain SO much. On a slightly more serious note, I thought you did a very nice job with Lois and her feeling of loss/depression after having to give up the baby.  Bob
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,627
Pulitzer
|
|
Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,627 |
Hugely interesting beginning! I'll have to keep an eye on this to see where it goes!
JD
"Meg...who let you back in the house?" -Family Guy
|
|
|
|
Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 2,445
Kerth
|
|
Kerth
Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 2,445 |
I'm trying to imagine Lois coping with two mothers-in-law (or is it mother-in-laws) but I don't think my brain is quite up to the task. Maybe Lara knows something Clark doesn't about Kryptonian biology, which would help to solve the child thing.
Marcus L. Rowland
Forgotten Futures, The Scientific Romance Role Playing Game
|
|
|
|
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 573
Columnist
|
|
Columnist
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 573 |
Very interesting! I've always wanted a story about one or both of Clark's parents surviving and coming to Earth. Can't wait to read more!
Jessi
"Lois Lane is Clark Kent's Superman." - Brian Miller
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 3,145 Likes: 3
Pulitzer
|
|
Pulitzer
Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 3,145 Likes: 3 |
First - Marcus, it's "mothers-in-law" because the mothers are plural, not the law. Second - Zowie! Queenie, this is a brilliant story. I really liked the original setup vignette, but this is even better. The code between Jor-El and Lara - the experiment in Kandor which produced some unexpected results - is so very like two indiscreet lovers who are facing the consequences of their actions. And I really liked Lara's pondering the meaning of the markings on the hard path. The glimpse of the strict Kryptonian societal structure was also very enlightening. It's ironic that the New Kryptonians were crazy in this story, since Clark (and the rest of the world) now thinks they're representative of Superman's home planet. I wonder if Lara will reveal her origins any time soon? If that rusty old wheeled conveyance strikes her and injures her, she'll end up in a hospital with no ID and no way to tell them where she's from. And does she even speak English? Or is Kryptonian like Navajo or Comanche or Cheyenne? They might think she's wandering off the reservation. I only hope this isn't a prelude to Lara ending up in a hospital in Tempe or Kingman with real amnesia, although that would be interesting in and of itself. The physical trauma combined with the psychological stress might make her amnesia longer-lasting than Clark's was in the Nightfall incident. Why Arizona? I like the Southwestern part of the US. It has an austere beauty not found anywhere else in the Western Hemisphere (that I know of, anyway). And it has the added advantage of being thinly populated, so she won't get dumped unprepared into some big city. But I can't help but think that there's more to it than that. You have that evil reputation, after all.  Great beginning, Queenie! I think I might just quit writing for a while until you and Carol finish your epics, or I'll be too much in awe of both of you to put fingers to keyboard. Looking for the next forty-eight chapters tomorrow!
Life isn't a support system for writing. It's the other way around.
- Stephen King, from On Writing
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 289
Hack from Nowheresville
|
|
Hack from Nowheresville
Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 289 |
Wow. What a unique twist! I don't like Krypton and their barbarian laws. But New Krypton as a lunatic asylum is priceless.  Oh Lara, I feel for you. And I hope you survive! Memo to self, step aside when some old machine comes heading your way. Will she have superpowers too once she spent more time in the sun? Will she meet Clark soon? I doubt Lara is adept to life on earth. Looks like she will need all the help possible. Reproductions problems plus a visit from a mother from the home planet equals fertility. I know it somehow.  Natascha
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 652
Columnist
|
|
Columnist
Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 652 |
I am pleasantly hooked on this tale. I say that because I am not a fan of Krypton or AU stories. This one however is really peaked my interest.
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 921
Features Writer
|
|
Features Writer
Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 921 |
I'm having concentration issues such that it's been difficult to get into new stories recently. But the premise of this is so interesting, I'm already hooked.
I can't wait to see where you go with this. Will Lara be invulnerable to the truck/car already or has she been in the dark too long for that to kick in yet. Plus, I'm wondering about her dress. I imagine she's dressed in a way that will make her look odd to the person in the vehicle.
|
|
|
|
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 2,292
Kerth
|
|
Kerth
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 2,292 |
I can't believe it. This is supposed to be a longer-than-24-kB Queenie fic?  No kidding, I'm already hooked. Interesting premise, really. I especially love the idea of New Krypton as an insane asylum. (Maybe Batman will take a hint from the Kryptonians?  ) Can't wait to find out what Lara is going to do. Does she even speak English? After all, she didn't say a single word in the messages from Clark's globe...
The only known quantity that moves faster than
light is the office grapevine. (from Nan's fabulous Home series)
|
|
|
|
Joined: May 2006
Posts: 478 Likes: 2
Beat Reporter
|
|
Beat Reporter
Joined: May 2006
Posts: 478 Likes: 2 |
That was ... wow! I just wanted to take a look at this because I really have no time to read at all and now I'm hooked and I have to force myself to leave my laptop at home to get anything done. In other words great beginning. I'm looking forward for more ... soon 
Kathryn
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 2,994
Pulitzer
|
|
Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 2,994 |
Alright, I admit that I was going to wait until after I caught up on OTOH before starting this...but I read the first paragraph...then the second...third...end of part 2  Very interesting premise. So, how are you handeling the existance of Green K and Red K? James
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 2,979 Likes: 11
Pulitzer
|
|
Pulitzer
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 2,979 Likes: 11 |
Hi guys! Yay!! Feedback!! Thanks!!! I'll admit, I'm a bit nervous, because this is such a departure from my usual fare, and (mostly) because there are so many contradicting ways I could have handled the premise. Incidentally; if this inspires ANYONE to write a fic with the same starting point, then by all means GO FOR IT! I'll be honest, it's been so long that I forgot. But I'm 90% sure that it was mostly due to the low population. Plus, she couldn't just start off in Kansas. (Jor-El was giving her a choice, after all.) You have that evil reputation, after all. ...what? Evil? Me??? You really think so?! EEE! I have arrived! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!!  So, how are you handeling the existance of Green K and Red K? That does come up, but I don't want to give a lot away just yet. ... Or at all, come to think of it. Most of your questions, though, will be answered soon enough in the next few parts. ^_^ Thanks for reading and commenting, everyone!  See you next week. 
~•~
|
|
|
|
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 5,797
Nobel Peace Prize Winner
|
|
Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 5,797 |
Yay Queenie-fic!!!  Ann
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 3,145 Likes: 3
Pulitzer
|
|
Pulitzer
Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 3,145 Likes: 3 |
So, how are you handeling the existance of Green K and Red K? That does come up, but I don't want to give a lot away just yet. ... Or at all, come to think of it. Most of your questions, though, will be answered soon enough in the next few parts. ^_^ I'm guessing that either bits of matter put in orbit by experiments on one of Krypton's moons or some local micrometeorites were pulled into the wake of the ship's warp field and were bombarded with all kinds of subatomic particles and weird radiation. And they slowly followed Kal-El's ship and peppered the landing area not long after he arrived. That means that Lara's ship might be lethal for any Kryptonians who got too close, too. Ooh, more intrigue! Come on, Queenie, where's the next chapter?
Life isn't a support system for writing. It's the other way around.
- Stephen King, from On Writing
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 8,948 Likes: 28
Boards Chief Administrator Nobel Peace Prize Winner
|
|
Boards Chief Administrator Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 8,948 Likes: 28 |
 And now onto part 2. Or well, as soon as I take another break, that is Michael
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 8,948 Likes: 28
Boards Chief Administrator Nobel Peace Prize Winner
|
|
Boards Chief Administrator Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 8,948 Likes: 28 |
If she closed her eyes, she could imagine him walking beside her, turning to her with that brilliant smile and...
Cursed root!
Lara rubbed her ankle for a moment before standing and brushing the dirt from the cloak and her deep blue dress. How much farther to the entrance? Oh that was good. You really have a talent for comedy, Mary. But I guess you already know that, huh? Whether they were trying to make their wish come true or consoling each other because they knew it couldn’t, neither was sure. Whether they were trying to make their wish come true or consoling each other because they knew it couldn’t, neither was sure. Interesting way of saying it. And awwwwww. The blood screams miscarriage to me  You know, I had no idea that Lara would get a one-way ticket to Earth. Very intriguing. Michael
|
|
|
|
