Lois & Clark Forums Forums Fan Fiction Lois & Clark Fanfic fdk:Separate Lives or Till Life Do Us Part 2/15 (?)

Nice part. I liked the way you used Clark's POV to help us see how confused he really is.

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I enjoyed the way you got the Kents out of the way, leaving it to Lois & Clark to muddle through.

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I will nitpick on the call to Henderson and the Police response.

An area like suicide slums is simply too large for Henderson to even consider a search without more detail.

A reporter like Lois would have included her location no matter how shaken up she is.

I'd suggest that when you ready it for the archive you have Lois give Henderson her location and the direction Clark came from and tried to get her to return to. This would still leave a huge area for someone to search and allow for whatever time and confusion you need in the tale.

Not much time - but ditto.

Can't wait to see why Clark's got amnesia.

Think it's great that Jonathan just knows that something's wrong. Wish they were able to help from there...
Carol

I think it's interesting how Clark is always hiding a secret from Lois. Looking forward to see how this will play out.

Michael

Yeah, he's always having a secret, isn't he? I wonder how he knows that he is supposed to have one

I'm glad you liked this part. Thanks for the nice feedback!

Patrick, I'll follow your advice. I honestly didn't think about how large Suicide Slum would be. Anyway, I changed the sentence instead of waiting until I will get this to the archive... I hope it's better now.

I think it is the character which screams secret. It is like an everlasting shadow. Glad to see you posting so soon again.

I want more.

This story could be taken right out of a black-and-white creepy mystery movie from the forties.



These two people here clearly aren't Clark and Lois. The picture doesn't look quite the way I wanted it, either, regardless of whether the people in question look like Lois and Clark. I wanted the woman to look stronger, less scared, and focused in her worry on the man. I wanted the man to look confused. I wanted the two of them to be alone in a creepy "alley-scape" where the light of streetlamps still left some parts of their surroundings in deep shadow. But this picture was the best I could find.

There is also something haunted and almost supernatural about this fic. Clark's obsession with the injured man is hypnotic and strange. And why does his side hurt? His side?

I once talked to a theologian who said that there is an alternative way of interpreting the story of how God created Eve from Adam's rib. The alternative, said the theologian, is that God literally "cleaved" Adam and "broke off" one half of him. According to this interpretation, the original human being was sexless, but when it was broken into two halves it turned into a man and a woman who are forever incomplete without one another and long to be reunited with each other again. It is possible to turn this idea into a very beautiful love story. But when it comes to your story, Barbara, it is more as if Superman has been "broken off" from Clark's side. The man who used to be Clark and Superman is now Clark only, and he no longer has Superman's powers. Superman, on the other hand, doesn't necessarily have Clark's humanity. Clark desperately longs to be whole again, which is why he is so obsessed with finding the part of him that was broken off. That is why he so badly needs to find the injured man in the alley. And he has completely forgotten that he himself reacted with pain and shock when he touched that other man. This frightening experience has not only not scared him off, but he doesn't even seem to really remember it any more. All he knows is that he needs to find that other man and help him - and the only way he can help that man is to reintegrate him into himself.

This is a spellbinding tale, Barbara.

Ann

Wow, thank you, Ann. I've always been looking forward to getting your feedback. There's a reason for your being one of the most famous feedback writers on these boards, really.

And the way you interpreted this story, it sounds so fascinating that I'm afraid I'll spoil your idea by posting the real story. Unfortunately, you're way, way off the truth. I hope you'll like it anyway, because Lois will be a strong character in this fic.

Anyway, your analogy to the book of genesis is interesting - something I didn't actually think of. Maybe you'll come to think of another story in the book of genesis that is rather famous...

As the others have said, you write a compelling, intriguing tale.

I have my own little nitpick though. I wondered why Lois would have thought, even for a moment, that Superman might have hurt Clark. She has always been his crusader, never doubting in his goodness. Even though she changes her mind, it seems out of character for someone so unswerving.


Elisabeth

That puzzled me as well. Lois knows that Clark and Superman are close friends.

What has caused Clark's memory loss, again? Where did he head to before she could get to his apt. four days earlier?