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Features Writer
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Wow! Yes, I know that almost everyone before me has said that, but it most certainly bears repeating. This was the first part of an absolutely incredible story, Lynn. I was completely caught up while reading it - I literally had tears in my eyes while Lois was watching the video. Your portrayal of Lois' grief is so poignant and heartwrenching. [Linked Image]

I loved the transformation that Lois went through as she watched the video and figured the whole thing out. It's interesting, because with as many TOGOM stories as we have out there, I don't think anyone has written it with the "no blood" twist, and yet when my husband walked into the room last week and saw a few minutes of that particular scene (he's *not* a fan), that was what he commented on...

And I loved the rapid gamut of emotions that Lois ran through once she realized the truth. Certainly they were all the emotions that we *know* that she would experience at the revelation, no matter how it came about, yet she quickly realized that the most important thing was to talk to him, and that he was still alive.

The imagery and introspection is wonderful. I was going to quote some of my favorite sections, but I realized that I would be pulling out way too much, so I'll just say that I loved it all...No, wait, I have to quote something, I found this a particularly bittersweet moment for Lois...
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Suddenly, on the screen, Clark glanced upward in a swinging arc. She gasped, for in doing so, he must have discovered the camera’s existence. As if in a dream, he looked directly at her, the camera’s eye her own as it recorded his face in a permanent magnetic code. The glare of the lights was absent, and through the frames she could see the eyes that haunted the few hours of sleep she managed each night. As sweet as the richest chocolate and more precious to her than anything on earth, the brown orbs stared back at her, lingering for the briefest pause. Then, a slow grin lifted the corners of his mouth, the sensuous lips parting to reveal a smile that lifted her for the smallest second out of the depth of her anguish and back into the light. Her heart pounded so painfully that she clutched her chest. As quickly as it happened, he looked downward again, turned and strode off the screen. The sunlight vanished, hidden once again by storm clouds heavy with salty raindrops.
My impression was that Perry had indeed figured it out, and given the tape to Lois so that she could do the same. And I liked that idea, for the same reasons that Kaethel mentioned in her earlier post.

I know that Kaethel and Wendy suggested posting every other day in order to garner lots of comments on your story...but lots of authors post a section each day - that's kind of a nice compromise between being evil (like K&W smile ) and appeasing anxious readers. goofy

But no matter what you do, you've definitely got readers waiting for the rest of this one, Lynn, and you'll have us nagging you for the next story too. Welcome to the boards, and what a way to introduce yourself! dance

KathyM


"Our thoughts form the universe. They always matter." - Babylon 5
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Nice beginning! thumbsup

Just one day and you've picked up over 20 comments to your story. That's an unusual number so quickly so it shows a lot of people really enjoyed your story. Seems like a lot of the best parts have already been mentioned so I'll just add that it's great to have another new writer around. Look forward to part 2.


-- Roger

"The Constitution only gives people the right to pursue happiness. You have to catch it yourself." -- Benjamin Franklin
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Lynn

WOW, WOW, WOW! smile1
Please post the next part soon.

Tricia cool

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goofy

Looking forward to that small nuclear explosion in Kansas. wink

LabRat smile



Athos: If you'd told us what you were doing, we might have been able to plan this properly.
Aramis: Yes, sorry.
Athos: No, no, by all means, let's keep things suicidal.


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As everyone else has said...WOW!

When we think TOGOM has been done everyway, you come up with Lois figuring it out for herself clap I'm looking forward to what she has to say to one Superhero!

Hope you are well into writing your next story too laugh

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I know this is off topic but I am anwsering a question from malu

Quote
quote:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
PS: Some parts of this post have been taken from Superman I but I don't intend to take credit for it
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Huh?

LoisLaneWannaBe, which parts? I didn't notice anything related.
I'll show you smile

Quote
(who hopes nobody raps her in the mouth for speaking her mind)
Said by Lex's girlfriend in Superman I

Quote
You are blessed with a writers gift for invention.
Said my Lois Lane's mother in the train scene (only on the special edition DVD). Hope that clears things up and to quote one more person...

Quote
Oh, btw, as you've probably noticed, your readers will plead with you to post right away - ignore them. <g> A little suffering is good for the soul and won't kill them. Besides, as you'll probably come to discover (most of us have) torturing your readers is almost as much fun as torturing your characters.
Ah Lab Rat being the voice of reason wink . Once again, well done Lynn.

~L.L Wanna Be


"Live with intention.
Walk to the edge.
Listen Hard.
Practice wellness.
Play with abandon.
Laugh.
Choose with no regret.
Continue to learn.
Appreciate your friends.
Do what you love.
Live as if this is all there is."
~Mary Anne Radmacher
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grumble laugh

More please!

Thanks for sharing!
Merche.
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Hey can we compromise and agree that you'll post part 2 now????

I agree with everyone else, this rocks! You have given amazing depth to Lois's thought process and the choice to have her realize that he "gave up his life", at least metaphorically, is a brilliant one.

Well done...please please please post one part today and one part tomorrow!

Best,
Sherry


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Wonderful story, Lynn! I love all the introspection from Lois, how she finds out the truth. And the way she watches that video over and over just to see Clark again, to find the blood and to realize the truth.

And I have to say, it's good to wait a few days between posting the next part. It keeps the suspense, and I don't mind that torture. Of course, it also makes sure I can easily catch up. wink

So great start. You can post more now!

Saskia


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Since everyone has already pointed out how great your story is so far, I'm just going to say that I'm one of those who begs for the next part! Post soon please! hyper


*Blayne*

Clark: You are really high maintenance, you know it?
Lois: But I'm worth it.

Clark: Not exactly what you had in mind, huh?
Lois: Let's see. So far I've been given a glimpse of ritual crop worship, been treated as your girlfriend, and insulted your parents. No, I couldn't have planned this.
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