Lois & Clark Fanfic Message Boards
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
#51549 04/23/08 06:22 AM
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 76
S
Snave Offline OP
Freelance Reporter
OP Offline
Freelance Reporter
S
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 76
Wow, BJ!

This story is extremely expressive, especially reviewing all of the history, the discovery, the recognition of all the past clues, from both Lois's and Clark's POV.

But, gee -- did you have to use so much dialogue? wink (monologue, actually, since only two(!) words were spoken in the whole story, and both were Clark's -- does that qualify as a soliloquy, since he might as well have been just talking to himself?).

Who would have dreamed that so much could be conveyed with so little spoken aloud?

*VERY* well done. clap clap

Snave

#51550 04/23/08 07:21 AM
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 67
Freelance Reporter
Offline
Freelance Reporter
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 67
That was amazing!I love it.

#51551 04/23/08 07:26 AM
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,764
C
Pulitzer
Offline
Pulitzer
C
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,764
This was great. I loved it. The POVs worked well!

Thanks for sharing it smile .

Carol

#51552 04/23/08 10:34 AM
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 27
Blogger
Offline
Blogger
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 27
I loved the beginning where Clark knew Lois was watching him, even though she pretended to be sleeping. We all have that creepy feeling once in a while of being watched, and I can imagine how it must feel to *know* you're being watched but forced to ignore it. Especially when the watcher is Lois Lane....


Two wrongs don't make a right. But three lefts do.
#51553 04/23/08 11:01 AM
Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 700
Columnist
Offline
Columnist
Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 700
I really enjoyed the POV switches. Along the same lines as Snave was saying, it was like a conversation between the two of them.

#51554 04/24/08 04:46 PM
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 4,058
Pulitzer
Offline
Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 4,058
Wow that was very well written. I loved the silent communication from both sides of the coin. I think it is interesting how you captured so much with them never saying a word. Beautifully done. Laura


Clark: “If we can be born in an instant, and die in an instant, why can’t we fall in love in an instant?”

Caroline's "Stardust"
#51555 04/27/08 05:33 PM
Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 446
Beat Reporter
Offline
Beat Reporter
Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 446
Well done! I like the idea and how you laid it out. The POV switches work very well, and I like the insight into how differently they think about the same things as the story unfolds. I found myself thinking, "Now if only she said that to him..." (or vice versa), "the misconception could be corrected." And then by the end of the story, they've managed to correct quite a few of their misconceptions - without a word spoken.

'Toc


TicAndToc :o)

------

"I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three."
-Elayne Boosler
#51556 04/28/08 05:07 AM
Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 53
H
Freelance Reporter
Offline
Freelance Reporter
H
Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 53
This was a great peice BJ. I apologize for not leaving FDK sooner, but work and the boards being down delayed me.

Theres a million things I loved about this, but my favorite part has got to be the kiss laugh . I'm just a sucker for romance. Great job...maybe you could favor us with a sequel or an expansion wink


New Rule: Don't call me when you're stuck in traffic. It's not my fault radio sucks. And did it ever occur to you that there wouldn't be so much traffic if people like you put down the phone and concentrated on the road? Besides, I can't talk now--I'm in the car behind you, trying to watch a DVD.~Bill Maher

Moderated by  Kaylle, SuperBek 

Link Copied to Clipboard
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.7.5