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Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 5,797
Nobel Peace Prize Winner
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Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 5,797 |
Well, wow! What an intense chapter! I don't know when I've last seen everybody being so ragged and raw. First, there's Jimmy: “How's about I try to figure out the answer to that one, Chief?”
Perry slapped him gently on the shoulder. “You do that. But keep your head down, okay? I don't want anyone getting hurt.”
Jimmy's eyes turned to stone. “You mean anyone else, right?” And he turned away. Then there's Cat: The signal cut off and Cat put away the phone by reflex. I helped kill more than fifty people, she moaned to herself. And I set up Clark and Lois to die with them.
It was too much to think about and she fainted.
One of the research interns found her a few minutes later and called for help. Cat spent that night and most of the next day in the hospital, recovering from shock and from the concussion she'd suffered when she'd fallen to the hard tile floor. Then there's Lois: “Clark?”
Her tone was flat and she still wasn't looking at him. “Yes?”
“Why did you ask Bob if he could remove my powers?”
He frowned. “Because I wanted to know, and I thought you needed to know. Besides, I wasn't sure if you wanted to keep them.”
“You should have asked me if I wanted to keep them.”
“But you'd already said – “
“Doesn't matter what I said before. You should have asked me.”
He sighed. “Fine. I should have asked you.”
“Yes. You should have.”
He didn't respond. He didn't know what to say or do.
She finally turned and looked at him. “So when do we tell your parents?”
“What?”
“I said, when do we tell – “
“I heard you the first time!”
Her eyes narrowed. “Don't yell at me, Clark. I'm just now getting to where I don't want to take your head off below the shoulders.” Wowzers. I can sympathize with her, at least a little, but she is just too short-tempered here. She wants to take off his head below his shoulders? Then there's Jonathan: Jonathan burst out, “Oh, my heavens, you're pregnant!”
Lois jerked and stared at Jonathan. “What?”
“You're pregnant, aren't you?” He turned to his son. “Clark! Why didn't you at least use some protection?”
“What? Dad, wait, this isn't – “
“You've got to be kidding! Lois! Are you two going to get married or adopt out the baby or do you plan to raise our grandchild on your own?”
She leaped to her feet. “Wait a minute! I never said I – “
Jonathan stood also. “This is just crazy!” He stomped each foot once and waved his arms aimlessly. “You couldn't wait to get your hooks into him, could you? You took advantage of – of – his – “ Whoa!! Don't jump to conclusions, Jonathan! And there's more to come from Jonathan: “So what is she going to do with these powers? Are we going to have another costumed super-hero flying around saving people? Or is she going to schedule her fine, unselfish acts and then bill her clients? How will the press see this? What will they say about Superman's relationship to – to whoever she's going to be?”
“I don't know that she's going to "be' anyone – “
“And what about us?” Jonathan stood and his voice also rose. “Are we going to be in more danger now that we know about both of the super-powered people in the world? Will other people try to copy your powers? Can other people copy your powers? Maybe only one other person can have them at one time! Maybe copying your powers again will leave you helpless and vulnerable! Maybe Lois will join up with this new person and start her own crime syndicate and look at what you will have created!”
Clark stood and faced his father. “Dad! Lois isn't – “
“And if you were going to give your powers to someone, why in God's name didn't you give them to Lana?” Aaah gaaah. Being mean to Lois isn't a good way for anyone to make himself or herself my favorite person. I don't like Jonathan a lot right now. I can understand that Lois is having a breakdown: Lois felt her bowels turn to water. She stood and walked back into the kitchen and pushed through the door. She jogged across the field and stopped at the base of the tree housing the Fortress of Solitude, where she floated up to the wooden platform Clark had showed her just days before. She sat down and looked across the brook into the meadow glimmering in the fading twilight.
Then she put her head in her hands and wept her heart out.   Even Martha is helpless: Martha was the only one in the living room who'd seen Lois leave. Her husband and son stood almost nose to nose, staring at each other, barely breathing. She thought about saying something, anything, but couldn't come up with any words which wouldn't make the whole situation far worse. I don't think I've ever seen Martha so out of her depth before, Terry. When has she ever been unable to talk to Jonathan and Clark before? Is it possible that Lois is being affected by her link to Clark? Is that making her more emotionally brittle and short-tempered? What about Jonathan? Is he just being, well, disagreeable? I guess Jonathan has always come through as more more frightened of Clark's sheer alienness than Martha. Perhaps he loved Lana so much because she never encouraged Clark's "difference"? The show certainly portrayed her as someone who didn't want Clark to show his powers in public. Now that Lois has become super-powered, Jonathan is perhaps afraid that Clark will embrace his alienness more than before in response to her. This was a very intense, fascinating chapter, Terry! Ann
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Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 1,483
Top Banana
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Top Banana
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 1,483 |
Ooh, this situation is so stressful for everyone.
Perry's the only one in the newsroom who knows Lois and Clark aren't dead. Jimmy thinks he's lost his two best friends. Cat thinks she's an accessory to mass murder (which she is but that's beside the point.)
Lois and Clark are trying to get a handle on what's happening with her powers and Jonathan's distrust of Lois has just exploded. (As I recall he was still blaming her a little for Lana's death.)
It just gets better...
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Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,846
Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,846 |
Hi, Great part! 
Maria D. Ferdez.
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Don't like Luthor, unfinished, untitled and crossover story, and people that promises and don't deliver. I'm getting choosy with age.
MAF
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Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 1,864
Merriwether
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Merriwether
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 1,864 |
The way you end your parts reminds me so much of the classic Nancy Drew stories. Cliff-hanger, chapter end. Repeat.
Elisabeth
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Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 1,999
Merriwether
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Merriwether
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 1,999 |
Let's see, Lois is more than a bit touchy, and quick to anger. Clark is a jerk. Jonathan is an even bigger jerk. And Martha has no clue what's happened to her family.
Doesn't exactly sound like a typical Lois and Clark tale.
And now we have the former in-laws coming to complicate matters.
Looking forward to more.
Tank (who can't wait unitl Clark trys to show Lois how shave and cut hair)
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Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 3,145 Likes: 3
Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 3,145 Likes: 3 |
Please forgive me for not responding to the excellent feedback like I said I would! I'm very sorry. I can only plead real life intrusions.
Again!
Ann, I agree that Jonathan's reaction isn't reasonable, but he's still grieving for Lana. I don't think he's "frightened of Clark's sheer alienness" at all. I haven't written him in that way - at least, not deliberately - and I have to believe that it's your own anti-male bias sneaking through here. And even though the show portrayed Lana as someone who was repulsed by Clark's extra-human abilities, I tried to portray Lana as sympathetic to him. Remember, she's the one who helped design his costume, and she helped come up with the name "Superman" in the "The Road Taken." She wasn't a perfect person, and in many ways wasn't the ideal woman for Clark, but in my previous story she really did love him.
Dandello, you're right about Perry being the only one to know they're still alive (and he doesn't know about Lois's powers yet). If Cat were to cooperate with the authorities at this point, I doubt she'd be charged as an accessory to murder, but she certainly wouldn't get off lightly. And if she doesn't come forward, she would become an accessory after the fact. We'll see what happens with her.
Maria, I needed to bring Dennis back in for some kind of closure. And this was the most evil point in the story I could think of. And I'll get back soon, I promise!
Cliffhangers, Lisa? I prefer to think of them as "reader incentives."
Tank, I just bought a new bass, too. It's an Ibanez 5-string with onboard active electronics, and it's significantly lighter than the Peavy T-40 I traded for it. I appreciate the visual of your new instrument. And no, this isn't a typical Lois and Clark tale, at least not at the moment. I think, however, that when the ending finally does arrive, it will satisfy most of the reading public.
Sure hope so, anyway.
Life isn't a support system for writing. It's the other way around.
- Stephen King, from On Writing
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Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 700
Columnist
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Columnist
Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 700 |
Whew! As others have said, this was a very emotional chapter.
But I guess with a story over 40 parts long, you have to have a certain amount on angst, huh?
And of course your "reader incentive" has worked perfectly. I'm waiting anxiously for the next part.
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Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 67
Freelance Reporter
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Freelance Reporter
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 67 |
This was very well done. The Jonathon in this world seems so unlike the Jonathon Im used to. He really has his knickers in a knot over lois's 'relationship' with clark. There was one sentence I found unusual Lois felt her bowels turn to water. Eeek, that sounds kinda disgusting.  Anyways, I am looking forward to seeing whether Jonathon's attitude to Lois will or won't change. Is there anyway lois can earn his respect or does he just have to work through his feelings about Lana. Maybe Dennis Lang can help with some of those issues. Cheers, back to theatre for surgery I go. (hmm, like yoda, I sound) Em
Lois: Clark, you don't have to be embarrassed. That's what friends are for. Just tell me how much.
Clark: Lois, I want you to go out with me!
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Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 3,145 Likes: 3
Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 3,145 Likes: 3 |
Cheers, back to theatre for surgery I go. (hmm, like yoda, I sound) All right it is, Em, as long as lightsaber you do not use as scalpel, yes? Jonathan is, as I've already stated, still grieving over Lana's death. He still feels as if he lost a daughter when that freighter exploded. Grief is a process, and there are five recognized stages of grief, but not everyone works through grief the same way or at the same pace. Maybe it's not smart to refer one's readers to another story while yours is about to start building to a climax, but an excellent story about processing grief - or not processing grief - is M.L. Thompson's The Second Stage of Grief . I thoroughly enjoyed it when I read it, and I heartily recommend it (after you finish reading this beast, of course). A comment about Lois's bowels turning to water. Yes, it's a bit gross, but it's supposed to convey abject disappointment and despair. At this point, she's just about decided that Jonathan will never accept her as a person in her own right and will always compare her to Lana with negative results for Lois. We'll see if that's true as time goes by. As always, thanks for reading and commenting!
Life isn't a support system for writing. It's the other way around.
- Stephen King, from On Writing
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