After it has been lurking for years on my hard drive, this story is being submitted finally, at the convincing of my husband. It is complete, but I will still post it in parts, probably one every other day. This story is a "what-if" based on Big Girls Don't Fly. I have posted the beginning of this story before, but never posted more than a few pages. Now, the story is complete and I am going to post all of it. No more procrastination on my part!

For those of you who are curious: yes, I am still working on Zenith, but it is very much a work in progress. I do not yet have enough to post the next section. As soon as I do, I will put it online.

Please let me know what you think of this, and feel free to provide constructive criticism.

Thanks in advance...
Clrgard

And now...
Zoe Meta – Life After
By zebraclrgard

May 12, 1996 – Big Girls Don’t Fly original airdate

“It’s over, everything’s over…” Lois cried as she felt her world falling down around her. “I shouldn’t have let him go…”

Four years later…
Lois slammed the lid of her laptop shut in aggravation. Perry had sent her there to investigate a possible scandal at the Tulsa branch of the Williams Company. This "scandal" was supposedly the cause of the imminent collapse of the company. Now, here she was in Tulsa, Oklahoma with no partner and no story. She sent Perry an email telling him what she had found: nothing. The Tulsa office had as much to do with the Williams Company's current state as the Easter bunny had to do with Santa Claus.

Lois flipped through the latest edition of The Daily Oklahoman. She was about to give up hope on it containing anything of interest when she saw the front page of the next section. “Tinker Air Force Base in Jeopardy Again” by Jerry Click. ‘Great’ she thought, ‘the military is closing bases again. I bet Metropolis is on the list, too.’ She read the article, then stopped and reread it. She looked at the byline: Jerry Click. Who in the world was that? She’d never heard of him.

And why did his writing remind her so much of her partner?

‘He’s gone and you’ve just got to accept that.’ A voice in her mind told her.

No. I won’t accept it. I can’t accept it. I just can’t.

Soon she found herself in tears, again. It seemed like all she did these days was cry. And here she was, crying again. When will the pain go away?

Never.

Never doesn’t have an ending. It continues forever.

I don’t want to feel this way forever.

She threw down the paper in aggravation. She came here for a story, and didn’t get it. It had been years since she had last seen Clark. It still hurt to even think of him, to think of how good it felt to be in his arms, flying over the Earth, soaring above the clouds.

She stopped.

To be in his arms period. That would be a wonderful thing.

Dwelling over the past wasn’t going to get her anywhere, except more depressed. She stood and began to get her things collected. Since there was no story, there was no need to remain in Oklahoma any more. Perry would be upset that the Planet had spent the money to fly her out here for nothing.

She was upset again. Now she was mad at herself. She couldn’t remember the last story she’d felt good about.

Yes, she could, but she didn’t want to. It was the last story she’d worked on with Clark. To even think about it made her want to cry again. She’d lost her edge when she lost Clark. What had happened to her? She was a good reporter before Clark Came into her life, so why wasn’t she now? She tried to refocus on the task at hand: packing.

‘Not just packing’, the voice reminded her. ‘packing to go to Smallville’.

She was going to Smallville to visit Clark’s parents. She was going to wait and go during the weekend, but since there was no longer a story, she decided to drive up there early. Lois had called Martha when she found out about the story in Tulsa and Martha had suggested that she drive up. Lois quickly jumped on the idea. Clark’s parents had been like a rock during this whole thing.

‘Take care of them… please’

She could still hear Clark asking her, no begging her, to take care of his parents for him. ‘Funny,’ she thought, ‘I’m supposed to be taking care of them, but they’re the ones that have taken care of me. When did I become so weak?’

She realized that she had yet again been diverted from the task at hand. “At this rate, I’ll never make it to Smallville.” She mused aloud.

She was about to begin packing, again, when the phone rang.

“Lois Lane”

“Hi, Lois, it’s Martha.” Martha’s cheerful voice poured out of the receiver. ‘How can she be so cheerful all the time?’ Lois wondered.

“Hi, Martha, how are you?” Lois asked, trying to be upbeat.

“I’m fine. I was just calling to see if you were still coming out this weekend.”

“Yes, I am. As a matter of fact I was packing when you called. If it’s okay with you I am going to drive in tonight.” Lois said, silently hoping Martha wouldn’t reject the idea.

“Your story is already finished?” Martha asked, amazed.

Lois sighed. “No, it fell through.” ‘Again’ she thought to herself.

“Oh, honey.” Martha said sympathetically. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay. I’m sure that the next one will be good.” Lois said, half-heartedly. “So, can I go ahead and drive in tonight?” She asked again, trying to change the subject.

“Of course you can! You know you’re always welcome here. Especially if you bring new pictures of that boy with you.” Martha answered, in an attempt to cheer Lois up.

“You know I will.” Lois responded. “I’ll leave here as soon as I get finished packing. How long of drive is it?”

“Probably two or three hours I guess.”

“Okay,” Lois said, glancing at her watch. “It’s seven now, so I’ll try to be there around ten or eleven, okay?”

“Sounds good. You have your cell phone with you, right?”

“Yeah, you still have the number?”

“Yes.”

“Okay, I’ll see you tonight then.”

“Be careful.”

“I will.”

“Bye.” Martha said, and then hung up the phone.

“Bye.” Lois answered quietly, as she slowly returned the phone to its cradle.

She took a deep breath, stood up and then continued packing. It was 7:45 when she finished. She gathered her things, paid the hotel bill, then loaded her rental car and headed toward the only place she called home now, Smallville, Kansas.

She pulled into the Kent’s driveway a little before 10:00. Martha was waiting for her when she pulled in.

“Hi, honey.” Martha said as she welcomed Lois with a hug.

“Hi, thanks for letting me come early. I was about to go crazy in that hotel room.”

“Anytime.” She said as the two women walked to the farmhouse.

“So, how has your trip been so far?” Martha asked, as the women sat down at the kitchen table.

“Okay, I guess. It’s frustrating because yet another one of my leads fell through. That’s the fourth one in a row. I don’t remember having a streak this bad.”

“I’m sure it will be alright soon. Everyone goes through a slump now and then.” Martha said, trying to comfort her.

Lois laughed cynically. “A slump… If this continues much longer, it won’t be a slump, it’ll be a crisis.” Lois sighed as she stood up. “You’re only as good as your next story. Right now I don’t have a next story. I wouldn’t be surprised if Perry let me go soon.”

Martha stood up and moved to be by Lois. “You know he’d never do that.”

Lois began pacing in frustration. “I don’t know, Martha. It never seemed this hard when I was working with Clark. Stories seemed to just fall in our lap. Now I have to dig to find something that comes close to resembling a story. I don’t understand.” She turned to face Martha and stopped. “Am I a bad investigator? Did I just ride on Clark’s coattails?”

Martha enveloped her in a hug. “No, sweetie, of course you didn’t. You’d been a reporter long before Clark got there. You’re just in a slump that’s all. It will end eventually, just be patient. Okay?”

“I hope so. If not, I’m afraid I may be looking for a new line of work.”

Martha took her hand and led her to the table and sat down. “Now tell me how my grandson is doing. Do you have any new pictures?”

Lois smiled. “He’s good, getting into more stuff every day. I swear. That boy is going to be the end of me yet. He’s so feisty. Was Clark like that when he was little?”

Martha laughed. “Oh, Lord, yes, honey. It’s called ‘being a boy’. I hate to break it to you, but they’re all like that. It doesn’t get any better. The older they get the worse it gets.”

"Great." Lois said, sarcastically.

Martha laughed again. "Oh, sweetie. Boys are fun to raise. Just give it time. You'll see."

Lois smiled. "I know, Martha. It's just... oh, I don't know... I guess... I guess I feel like I'm not being the parent he needs. I wish Clark were here. He would be a much better parent than me. He's so patient and kind and loving... I'm impatient, hard-nosed, and difficult to get along with. Who would want a mother like that?"

"I think you're doing a fine job with Jerome." Jonathan said as he entered the back door. "Sorry, I didn't mean to eavesdrop." He told her as he gave her a hug. "But, I was on the back porch taking my boots off and heard you two talking."

"It's fine, Jonathan." Lois said, as she returned his hug. "I guess I'm just moody."

He reassuringly patted her on the back as he continued the hug. "I know it must be hard, raising Jerome on your own like you are. But, we'll always be there for you. You know that, right? You're our daughter and the only link we have left to our son."

Lois nodded silently. "I know." She finally backed away. "I've been doing good here lately, but... Oh, I don't know... maybe it was this article I saw today... it was just so Clark...and I miss him so much...I just feel empty inside." She said, her voice quivering.

"Oh, Lois. Now, you've got your little boy and your job at the Planet and you know you're like family to us. I'm sure that you're just being hard on yourself." Martha said, trying to reassure her.

"I know. And I love my son, I love my job and I love you guys. I just feel like a total failure right now and I don't know what to do to change it." Disgusted, she turned and plopped down at the kitchen table.

"Lois, it will okay. You just need to give it time.”

“How long does it take?” She asked, pleading. “It’s been four years. How much longer does it take?”

Martha shook her head slightly. “I don’t know.” She replied softly.

Jonathan joined them at the table. “It’s late. Why don’t you go take a shower and get a good night’s sleep. You’ll feel better in the morning.” He suggested quietly.

Lois nodded slowly. “Your right.” She said as she stood from the table. “Thank you for everything. I’ll see you in the morning.”

“Don’t think anything of it. We love having you.” Martha reassured her. “Now, get a good night’s sleep, alright?”

Lois nodded again. “I’ll try. Goodnight.” She said, then ascended the stairs to Clark’s room.

The next morning, Lois descended the stairs refreshed. During the night she had thought of the perfect plan and couldn’t wait to share it with Martha and Jonathan. They were sitting at the kitchen table when she walked in.

“Morning.” She said brightly as she grabbed a cup of coffee.

“Well, good morning.” Martha said. “I guess that a good night’s sleep helped.”

Lois turned with a smile. “It did. I came up with the perfect idea last night.” She said as she joined Martha and Jonathan at the table.

“What?”

“I’m going to move to Tulsa and work at the newspaper there.” Lois happily told them.

“And leave the Planet?” Jonathan asked, unbelieving.

Lois looked at her coffee cup as though it held all the answers. “I’m not happy there anymore. And I don’t want Jerome to grow up in Metropolis. I want him to have the same raising that Clark did. In the country.” She answered softly.

“Why Tulsa? You could go to work at the Smallville Post.” Martha asked.

“I know. But there are all of the memories of Clark here and I would be immersed in them. There are enough in Metropolis as it is. But, here in the home he grew up in, the town he grew up in. I just don’t think I could handle it. Besides, I’m not ready to completely leave the city yet. I just think somewhere smaller than Metropolis would be better. Tulsa is a nice sized town that is still close enough to Smallville for Jerome and me to drive up here whenever we want.”

“Don’t you think that the Tulsa World would find it a little odd for Lois Lane to want to work there?”

She nodded. “I thought about that, too.”

“I’m going to change my name and start from the beginning. I don’t want any ties to Lois Lane anymore.”

“Why in the world would you do that?” Martha asked, shocked.

“Every time I hear Lois Lane, I automatically think Clark Kent. There was no Lane only since Clark. It was always Lane and Kent. And, I can’t take it anymore. I can’t even hear my name without it bringing back memories of what I am missing. How can I move on with that constant reminder?” She looked to Jonathan for understanding.

“What would you change it to?”

“I hadn’t really decided on anything yet. I was thinking about Karli Kent. Jerome’s last name is already Kent and it would be easier for him to not have to explain why his mommy’s last name is different when he starts school. Besides, in my heart, Clark is my husband.”

“I know, but leaving every symbol of your life behind? You can’t run from the pain, honey. It will catch up to you.”

“I know. But, I think this is the best move for me right now.”

“We’ll support you whatever you do.” Martha assured her.

“It would be nice to have Jerome so much closer.” Jonathan supplied.

Lois called the editor of the Tulsa World the following Monday to set up an interview as Karli Kent. It was scheduled for the coming Friday at 4:00. She printed some of her early stories, changing the by-line to read “Karli Kent”. The editor hired her as a junior reporter and told her to start in two weeks.

She went into Perry’s office first thing Monday morning to tell him the news.

“Perry, I need to talk to you.”

“Ah, not now, Lois, I need you to get down to Hobbs Bay, there’s a standoff going on.” He said, shooing her out the door.

Lois did not move from her spot. “I’m giving my two weeks notice, Perry.”

The old newspaper man stopped dead in his tracks and turned to face her. “Now, Lois…” he began, but she interrupted him.

“I’ve got a job at the Tulsa World as a junior reporter. Jerome and I are going to move down there.”

“Lois, are you sure you know what you’re doing?” Perry asked questioningly.

“I’m sure that I can’t stay here anymore. I haven’t written a good story in… well, I can’t remember the last good story I wrote.”

“You’re doing fine, honey. Now, get down to Hobbs Bay and stop talking this nonsense.”

Lois held her ground. “I’m taking the job, Perry. I start two weeks from today.”

“Lois.”

“You can’t talk me out of it. I’m going.”

“Okay.” Perry finally acquiesced. “If you’re sure that’s what you want to do.”

“It is.” She replied confidently. “I’m headed to Hobbs Bay.”

“Be careful down there, there’s no one to watch your back now.” As soon as he said the words, he immediately regretted it. Lois looked as though someone had just slapped her.

One year later…

“Lois, we must speak with Clark.” Ching said forcefully.

Lois stared at them blankly. “Lois, please, we are short on time. We need to speak to Clark.” Zara said softly.

“Why are you asking me? He’s still with you.” She said, her voice filled with venom.

“What?” Zara questioned quietly.

“I haven’t seen Clark in six years. Not since the day he flew off with you and left everyone he loved.” There was fire in her words.

“You must be mistaken.” Ching said rigidly. “Clark left New Krypton over a year ago.”

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

That's all for now... PLEASE let me know what you think thus far.

Thanks,
clrgard wink


"Everything is okay in the end... If it's not okay, then it's not the end." ~Anonymous