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#47079 10/08/07 08:49 PM
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Chapter 4 and I'm already screaming KERTH!

You are really something special, Terry. After years of being told by various scriptwriters and fanfic authors what a snake Lex Luthor is, you finally show it to us in full techni-color. The stunt in the courtroom was so brilliantly and convincingly written that I found myself being rather charmed before having to remind myself sharply that the man was a mastermind CRIMINAL despite all appearances. Which necessity rather shocked me, mind you. blush


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But other aspects of Lex’s character didn’t seem to fit with his being a criminal mastermind. She discovered that he’d been funding a cancer research wing of the New Troy Children’s Hospital for the past four years, and there hadn’t been one peep about it in the press. There was also an endowment for the state’s Veteran’s Hospital which paid for two surgeons and fifteen nurses, two fire stations in Metropolis’s inner city that he’d bought and refurbished and donated back to the city, an elementary school completely remodeled and fully stocked with books and desks and other equipment, and a large anonymous annual gift to the Policeman’s Survivors fund.

All of it was anonymous. Even the cops on the street didn’t know that Lex Luthor had provided a measure of security for their families in case the worst happened to any one of them.

She sat back in her chair and pondered. If Lex was dirty, these activities would make a good cover for him, but only if it was public knowledge. This was all done in secret. His behavior didn’t fit her image of a bloodthirsty criminal mastermind.
Which got me thinking, since you decided to treat Lana very differently than we are familiar with in LnCverse, maybe you were also going to portray Luthor more as Micheal Rosenbaum than John Shea. Which thought necessitated another sharp smack to the head. blush Still, that's just how damn good your writing is!

Hardly a quarter of the way into the story and I already, finally am beginning to see how Lois could have fallen for this facade - the guy's a magician! And the greatest magicians LIVE their tricks and lies just so they can pull off their least illusions. I am reminded of Alfred Borden in The Prestige.

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“Are you okay? You look a little thin.”

“I don’t get thin. I don’t get heavy, either, or at least not so far.”

She loosened up a little and grinned. “I wish I had that kind of metabolism.”

“Sorry. It’s genetic.”
That's right. She is now the only person in the world apart from his parents who KNOWS. Thus effectively replacing Lana as his primary female confidant. What a subtle setting.

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he nodded. “Good.” She broke eye contact and reached for a business card beside her phone. “If you feel like you need to talk to someone else, here’s the number for my therapist.”

Clark took the card with raised eyebrows. “You’re seeing a therapist?”

She shrugged. “Survivor’s guilt. I made it out, Lana didn’t.”

Lois watched him to see how he’d react to any mention of his wife. He didn’t bat an eye, which she suspected was not as good as a slight reaction would have been.

He nodded. “I understand. Maybe I’ll give her a call.”

“If you do, make sure you tell her who gave you the card.”

He almost grinned. “Why, do you get a referral fee?”

She almost grinned back. “No. So we don’t meet each other between sessions. Dr. Friskin says that it’s not always a good thing for people who know each other to meet in their therapist’s outer office.”

He glanced at the card again, then tucked it in his shirt pocket. “Thanks.”
Oh thank the gods! No angsty drama. Very matter-of-fact and methodical. Almost chillingly so, I thought.

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She glanced at the scar on her hand and tried to defuse the memory by being flippant. “I’m a woman. I can change either my mind or my identity any time I want to.”
Now there's a quotable quote if I ever heard one! thumbsup

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She pushed the thought away as soon as she realized what she was thinking. She couldn’t ask Superman to do legwork for her! Not only would it be demeaning, it would be – she couldn’t think of a term to describe how awkward that conversation would be.
And there come the rub. clap


“Is he dead, Lois?”

“No! But I was really mad and I wanted to kick him between the legs and pull his nose off and put out his eyes with a freshly sharpened pencil and disembowel him with a dull letter opener and strangle him with his own intestines but I stopped myself just in time!”
- Further Down The Road by Terry Leatherwood.
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Hi,

Great part! grumble They probable record their call.


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Lois stared. “La Bamba? You have reservations there?”

Cat grinned conspiratorially and held her index finger up in front of her mouth. “Not so loud! Everybody in the building doesn’t need to know.” She held her hand up and crossed two fingers. “The manager and I are like this. Besides, all the ‘A’ list people in Metropolis eat there. Lunch is a great time to pick up some juicy gossip.”

“Good. You want to drive or shall I?”

“Drive? Sorry, but in your car? Ooh, Lois, Jeeps are so last year. We simply have to take a cab.”

Lois sighed. “Lunch with a sexy gossip columnist at the city’s top lunch spot and a classy cab ride to boot. I don’t know if my tattered psyche can stand this.”

Cat reached out and patted her hand. “We’ll work on the psyche later. Today is for your ego.”
hyper


Maria D. Ferdez.
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Don't like Luthor, unfinished, untitled and crossover story, and people that promises and don't deliver. I'm getting choosy with age.
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Quote
She nodded. “Careful’s my middle name.”

He frowned. “Thought your middle name was Dangerous.”

She glanced at the scar on her hand and tried to defuse the memory by being flippant. “I’m a woman. I can change either my mind or my identity any time I want to.”
This would be hilarious if it weren't such a fragile, melancholy scene--okay, it's hilarious anyway.

I'm not sure I feel about how casual Clark has become about his big secret. He's obviously not up to snuff if he doesn't mind confirming guesswork.

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Cat reached out and patted her hand. “We’ll work on the psyche later. Today is for your ego.”
Touche, Cat.

I like the way the story is progressing.

BTW, I'm so far out of pop culture that I don't even understand Luther references when I hear them. I could never win "Who Wants to be a Millionaire" since I wouldn't be able to answer the first four easy questions.
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Which got me thinking, since you decided to treat Lana very differently than we are familiar with in LnCverse, maybe you were also going to portray Luthor more as Micheal Rosenbaum than John Shea.
Michael Rosenbaum? Who? huh

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I am reminded of Alfred Borden in The Prestige.
Alfred Borden? The Prestige? huh


Elisabeth

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Quote
Originally posted by Elisabeth:
</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Which got me thinking, since you decided to treat Lana very differently than we are familiar with in LnCverse, maybe you were also going to portray Luthor more as Micheal Rosenbaum than John Shea.
Michael Rosenbaum? Who? hyper

Sorry for the OT post, Terry! blush


“Is he dead, Lois?”

“No! But I was really mad and I wanted to kick him between the legs and pull his nose off and put out his eyes with a freshly sharpened pencil and disembowel him with a dull letter opener and strangle him with his own intestines but I stopped myself just in time!”
- Further Down The Road by Terry Leatherwood.
Joined: Aug 2005
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It took me long enough to respond to this, Terry. Part of the reason is that chapter four of your story focuses on Lois rather than on Clark, and your Lois so rarely provokes me. And when I don't feel the least bit provoked, I don't feel the same urge to write "thoughtful and incisive" feedback, as you so kindly called it!

Which, however, prompts me to try to explain why I so much like your Lois. It's because you - how do I put it? - take her so seriously.

There are a number of humorous stories posted on these boards, which occasionally take advantage of the fact that Lois sometimes appears galactically stupid, and that she can babble both herself and others into a state of total confusion. I tried to look for pictures illustrating this kind of an energetic female bird-brain, but the best I could come up with was this:

[Linked Image]

Of course, the woman in this picture is not Lois, but a blond bimbo with silicon implants and, which is worse, an uninterested attitude. That is most certainly not Lois, but this image was the best I could find. Anyway, what sometimes pains me about the humorous Lois in some of the stories on these boards is that she can come off as an antifeminist's dream. She makes a lot of noise, but she is wrong more often than she is right, and when she is right her babbling makes no sense, so it's no use listening to her anyway. You can get a good laugh at her expense, but taking her seriously is just a waste of time. Votes for women, anyone? (Of course there haven't been any recent stories here that have painted Lois as that stupid.)

Your Lois, however, can never been "brushed aside" with a laugh. Your stories never trifle with her. Your Lois is never this size, certainly not in comparison with men:

[Linked Image]

You always take Lois seriously. Your Lois isn't always right, far from it. But on some level she always makes sense. Your Lois is driven, vulnerable, wounded, brave, tenacious, loyal, angry, witty, and, when the opportunity is there, warm and loving. She cares. She cares so much, and she sure as heck gives a damn! And, thanks to your amazing ability to write fantastic dialogue, Lois will send fireworks of witty or dead-pan remarks flying in the reader's direction. It's a wonderful pleasure to spend time with your Lois!

Now for some actual feedback on this part. Do you mind if I repeat most of what Hasini already told you, Terry? She nailed many things so perfectly, such as when she described your Luthor here. Like Hasini said, rarely has Luthor been so charming and appealing, and rarely has he seemed so deadly dangerous. (But please remember that I'm with Maria, too, Terry: I hate it when Luthor gets to wreak too much terrible havoc.)

Hasini is also right that your description of Lois and Clark's relationship here is so interesting. There is so much between them here, because both of them may feel that Lois caused the death of Clark's wife (Lois certainly does), and whether or not Clark actually blames her, her very presence reminds him of his loss and his pain. And to complicate matters further, Lois knows about his secret identity. The part that Hasini quoted underscores how unsettled Lois and Clark both are, and how they both need to move on. (But whether or not they will do so with each other remains an open question.) It was priceless how Lois gave Clark her own shrink's business card and told Clark to inform Dr. Friskin who recommended her if he decides to call her - not because she wants a referral fee from Dr. Friskin, but because she doesn't want them to run into each other during their therapy sessions!

And Hasini was so totally right about this, too:

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&#8220;No, I just want you to be careful. Two victims have been seriously injured already, and I don't want you to add yourself to the list, okay?&#8221;

She nodded. &#8220;Careful's my middle name.&#8221;

He frowned. &#8220;Thought your middle name was Dangerous.&#8221;

She glanced at the scar on her hand and tried to defuse the memory by being flippant. &#8220;I'm a woman. I can change either my mind or my identity any time I want to.&#8221;
Wow. Oh, wow. Lois is so brilliantly witty here - and at the same time, there is such a feeling of bleakness, of lacking roots or an identity, of being alone in a world that she has made her mission to fight, and where no one except Perry will much care if she dies.

I should have commented on this before:

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&#8220;Are you okay? You look a little thin.&#8221;

&#8220;I don't get thin. I don't get heavy, either, or at least not so far.&#8221;
I love this. No, Clark doesn't get thin. But for all of that, I bet he looks thin here. Grief and loss can do that to a person.

It's interesting that Perry knows that Clark is Superman. For the most part I think that is good. But there was something about how Perry had described Luthor's behaviour at the courthouse that made me feel that maybe, just maybe, Perry had been somewhat taken in by Luthor. And if he has, now that he knows that Clark is Superman, that could be a very bad thing.

It's interesting that Lois and Cat seem on their way to becoming friends again, just like they were fast friends in your previous fic, Rebuilding Superman. But I find it just a tad unlikely that you would give us such a repeat performance, which leads me to believe that in this fic Lois and Cat's friendship will come with a twist. Don't tell me. Clark will fall in love with Cat rather than with Lois this time, and he will move on with Cat instead?

Ann

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This feedback is as high quality as a lot of the stories on the boards! Y'all are just terrific.

Hasini, I'm glad you're keeping up. Luthor will, I think, be somewhat closer to Rosenbaum than Shea. You'll have to let me know what you think later. Jackie Michealson is indeed Michael Jackson in the alternate universe. (Actually, I stole the character from one of my other unfinished non-L&C stories.)

Is Rebecca gullible or is Nigel a superb actor? Or has he reformed (somewhat) since Uncle Mike knew of him?

Snarky and acerbic Lois is coming up soon. Right now she's got a lot on her mind.

Maria, thank you for picking up on Clark's weak attempts at humor. And I think his parents would be happy that he's talking to a professional. After all, they could use some therapy too.

Lisa, that comment as Lois looks at her scar is intended to go either way, towards humor or pathos, depending on the reader's perspective. I think it did what I wanted it to do. And right now Clark needs Perry's support. I'm not sure he could take the added pressure of doing his job under the editor's disapproving eye, plus this shows that Perry isn't the goofy bumpkin he sometimes acts like.

Oh, Hasini, thanks for answering Lisa's questions. I'll bet there were some others who didn't know the actors' names either.

Ann, thanks for liking my portrayal of Lois so much. That blond bimbo is so far from Lois Lane that I can't calculate the distance. And there will be a twist where Cat is concerned, but I doubt you'll anticipate it.

Next chapter up soon! Thanks for reading, everyone!


Life isn't a support system for writing. It's the other way around.

- Stephen King, from On Writing

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