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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Mar 2006
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Hi Elisabeth. Yeah, I know. This kind of story isn't for everyone. But in all fairness, when I started posting it, I put in a warning that it was going to be a lot darker than my usual stories. LOL - but I'm glad it wasn't yucky enough to quit reading. Isn't it gross that Lex would want someone to rape his fiancee? I know he wants Lois broken; I know he wants Superman out of the picture, but this is beyond the pale. What a sicko, psycho... Yes. I guess the real question would be - if Lex is the one actually programming him, would he have actually programmed him to go "that far"??? Yes, you are correct, Clark is shaken and you'll see that very soon. Lois... hmmm, Lois is a different matter. I think this would no doubt shake her - it would anyone. But one thing I learned from the show is, that as special as Superman is, Lois is special in her own way as well. Nothing gets her down completely, she rebounds pretty fast, and so far, nothing has shaken her faith in her hero. Let me explain... In Illusions of Grandeur, she saw Superman do some pretty awful things - kidnap a kid for one and almost kill her at the end, for another. Superman locked her in that cage and was going to kill her. Also, we've seen her get almost murdered several times on the show... while I won't pretend that being raped isn't one of the most scary things that can happen to a woman, I can't play down how I would feel about nearly being murdered, either. And, yet, somehow Lois always manages to put it behind her and move on - almost as it it never happened. So all I'm saying is she has a strong character and a strong sense of loyalty to her hero... and she knows that something isn't right - that Superman wouldn't act that way... Will she blame him? Will she find a way to move past it? We'll see. Yes, Luthor has proposed in this story, Lois just hadn't accepted yet. I will do my very best to tie this story up in 3 parts or less. I thought perhaps 2, but now I think maybe 3. Thanks for your fdk, Elisabeth. Hi Ann! LOL - glad you took a look at the photo. Putting aside what he was going to do to Lois in my fic, I just thought that pic was yummy. And yes, you were beginning to dig a hole for yourself here Ann - LOLSSS! Heh. Hi Terry! Wow, I didn't know you were reading. Yes, he did stop himself. I want to make sure that's clear to everyone. I got some private fdk and there was some confusion because he thought the line "He had to show her who was in control". I realize now that can be taken two different ways. The way I really meant for it to be taken was that he was still fighting what was happening. However, it could have also been seen to mean that he had lapsed back and he was now gonna show Lois "who was in control" - and then we faded to black. So someone asked me - did he rape her during the fade to black. The answer is NO. We faded to black to change POV. We faded to black once to get inside his head, show you what was going on. We had been in Lois's POV before that. I merely faded back out to get back to Lois's POV and then "merge" the two POV's together. Clark was still fighting what was happening. Terry, sometimes you downright give me the chills with your postulations on what's happening. <g> I think you'll see what I mean later. Heh. Sue can vouch for me that I've had the ending sketched out for some time now... And I'm LOL <snorting> at your *dreams* - too funny, Terry. Thanks for the fdk! Hi Anna! Thanks. I'm glad to know that you've been reading. And very glad to know you've been adoring it. Awww, I'm totally blushing at your compliments about my writing. Thank you. [Shock] This part just made me cry out at the computer (something that doesn't happen often), 'No, Clark! No, don't!' DJ, you're spinning your web of emotion far too well... Nice. I always feel like I accomplished something if I can get people so into a scene that they begin talking to the characters. <g> You do. <g> Thanks for the fdk, Anna, I'm glad I was able to coax you out of lurkdom to post. Thanks again everyone! What if I told you that part 7 might be here sooner than I anticipated? I've sent it to beta's once and I've tweaked it now a couple of times. I'm just trying to decide whether to send it out to my poor overworked betas yet again, or just post it as is... Could be soon... -- DJ
Smile and the world smiles with you ... frown and you're just giving yourself wrinkles.
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Joined: May 2006
Posts: 1,065
Top Banana
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Top Banana
Joined: May 2006
Posts: 1,065 |
I want to read this but I have so many on my list ahead of this.  I may cheat and read it ahead of some others.
Angry Clark: CLARK SMASH!
Lois: Ork!
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Posts: 320
Beat Reporter
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Beat Reporter
Joined: May 2003
Posts: 320 |
Okay, I went back to read this again, and I hereby cast my future vote on the best revelation, based on this... “What?” Confusion and disbelief jolted through her body. No. No, it couldn’t be. But as she looked at his face again, into his eyes, she realized it was the truth. She didn’t know how she had never seen it before, but there it was, staring her in the face. Clark Kent was Superman. She knew it like she knew the grass was green or the sky was blue. It suddenly just was. A thousand different moments became clear. A hundred different memories abruptly wove themselves together into a fabric that encompassed both of the men now standing before her. That was beautifully written! quick the next post, quick the next post, quick... doublel
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Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 910
Features Writer
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Features Writer
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 910 |
So I promised more fdk and given my predilection for deviancy...well, I feel compelled to carry out what I owe to this awesome part. Here we go... She had hurt him, she knew she had. And if she was truthful with herself, she felt guilty about it.
But honestly, did that really give him the right to go off and sulk about it? Um. I think so. I mean it's tough to be rejected. No, I don't think it was a wise choice to tell her then, but do I think he should just smile and be like "'OK!'  " That's a no. I always give Clark a free pass to sulk. If you ask me he doesn't do it nearly as much as I'd want him to  So Lex is behind it all...I'm still wondering if the whole thing is his generic excercise to make Supes into a criminal or if there's some sort of specific attachment to the cardinal sins. Is Lex the devil? *thinks back to that horribly cheesy snake scene* Meh. I'm thinking this has a scientific answer and that it has to do with red K? Loss of inhibitions? *shrug* I'm still waiting to see all of it fall into place. neon light had been put up across the street and she was still trying to get used to the unnatural red glow that now filtered in through the window. Hmm. I sense sketch factor just from this. Neon is cheap...and skanky. Someone was getting up out of her chair. Sitting in the dark waiting for her? Ohhh, the things I could say if we weren't in gfic... The question was soft and hesitant, but held an underlying tension. Mm. I like this a lot. “Why did you ask me here, Lois?” he murmured, his voice low and unexpectedly different... Was it her imagination or was there longing in his tone?  He feels strangely vulnerable to me here. It makes me a little sad. This is desperate too in a way, just like the declaration. Re: Outfit Aww, I totally expected him to be wearing the jeans on the picture, but sure, I'll take the suit. The red lighting from outside was casting a surreal glow to his features. His hair was tousled from its normal slick appearance and his eyes were dark and intense. Oooh. I like this too. Very much in fact. I can see how the picture played into it as inspiration. “Clark?” he asked, sounding amused. “You think Clark’s going to save you? Clark’s not coming.” No, he's definitely not. That was intense, poor Lois--I think it's got to be worse since she was so hung up on Superman being good. Now not only is she traumatized by the near rape, she has to deal with the deceit from Clark. Only three more parts? Wow, I have no idea how they can get over this in just that amount of time (and have the A-plot sorted out!). I mean, she's not going to let Clark so much as touch her after something like this. Anyway, I liked being in Clark's head and seeing what was happening. I knew he'd stop himself, because Lois was clearly not into it (and I find it unlikely that there be a resolution to the trauma of rape in three parts--I think there is a vast difference between near rape and the actual violent physical assault). Had Supes convinced her to let go of her own qualms and go for it the whole thing might have taken a stranger turn. Not to say there might not have been bad consequences as well, it just would have been different. Excellent part! I thoroughly enjoy gripping pieces and this was just stellar.  alcyone
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Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 2,667
Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 2,667 |
Well, Jojo, I hope you found time to read the part... because... well, um... I've got part 7 done and ready to post it. Although I really probably shouldn't post it quite yet because I really don't have part 8 written yet at all. It's all sketched out, but I haven't written any dialog yet or filled in the details <sigh> So it looks like it will be at least a week before I can post part 8. I really should probably hold on to part 7 and not post it yet... but, well, patience isn't one of my virtues. <g> Hi doublel! More fdk! Wheeeee! Awwww, I'm totally blushing. Thank you for that wonderful compliment. I'm so glad you enjoyed the revelation. Thanks! And I am posting quick... just about to... in the next 30 minutes or so. <g> Thanks! Alcyone! You came back! I was really hoping that you of all people would enjoy this part. <g> I laughed at you saying Clark didn't sulk enough. Heh - I'll remember that for my next HoL rewrite. He sulks quite a bit in that one... at least he has so far... I'm glad you're still stumped, but I hope the ending lives up to expectations <chews nails> Now not only is she traumatized by the near rape, she has to deal with the deceit from Clark. Only three more parts? Wow, I have no idea how they can get over this in just that amount of time (and have the A-plot sorted out!). You know... if I had wanted to, I could have probably drug this out for several parts (and bored everyone to death, most likely) with a lot of introspection and mistrust and what not... But, I've written that before... and I try to do something just a little different, each time that I write. I also try to let the characters write themselves... and well, I think you'll see after the next part that they went in a different direction. I hope it doesn't seem out of character. They really did seem to be speaking to me... and my betas seemed to like it. We'll see what you think. Feel free to throw rotten tomatoes if you're unhappy. I'm a big girl, I can take it. Thanks for the fdk and I'm so glad you enjoyed this part. Thanks again everyone and here comes part 7! -- DJ
Smile and the world smiles with you ... frown and you're just giving yourself wrinkles.
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Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,764
Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,764 |
Originally posted by MetroRhodes:
I've got part 7 done and ready to post it.
Although I really probably shouldn't post it quite yet because I really don't have part 8 written yet at all. It's all sketched out, but I haven't written any dialog yet or filled in the details So it looks like it will be at least a week before I can post part 8.
I really should probably hold on to part 7 and not post it yet... but, well, patience isn't one of my virtues. No. Don't wait. Post now.
in the next 30 minutes or so.
No. Too long. Post now. Carol [who finally has a fic of her own doneish and is waiting for Missy to get it back to her ]
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Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 9,362
Boards Chief Administrator Emeritus Nobel Peace Prize Winner
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Boards Chief Administrator Emeritus Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 9,362 |
Part Six! Part six was up all along and I didn't know! How did I miss this fact? No, don't answer that. I came in hoping the next part was up and thought, "What? 7? Wait, that's not right, what happened to six? Oh. Duh."  Okay, off to read part six and part seven...happy days! FDK for both to follow... LabRat
Athos: If you'd told us what you were doing, we might have been able to plan this properly.
Aramis: Yes, sorry.
Athos: No, no, by all means, let's keep things suicidal.
The Musketeers
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Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 9,362
Boards Chief Administrator Emeritus Nobel Peace Prize Winner
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Boards Chief Administrator Emeritus Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 9,362 |
Okay, I'm only at the recap of last time and already I'm tearing up. "It was over." <sob> I love your Bobby Bigmouth. So wonderfully in character. Plus, I have to admit, I always had a soft spot for Bobby, so I really enjoy it whenever he makes an appearance in fanfic. Lois rolled her eyes. “No, first of all, *I* already know the limo was there. I saw it myself. Secondly, *you* don’t know that it was ‘Lex’s’ limo. And thirdly, I’m not so sure *that* was Superman.” No real reason for quoting this. No deep insight. I just thought it was cute. <g> It wouldn’t do for her uncle to find out she got her brownies elsewhere. LOL! Lois glanced around the newsroom – still no Clark. She had hurt him, she knew she had. And if she was truthful with herself, she felt guilty about it.
But honestly, did that really give him the right to go off and sulk about it? I like that she felt guilty about it - because I always had real issues with her on the show about this one. I'd have liked to have seen more of her guilty thoughts on that one. But how like our S1 Lois to instantly push aside her guilt and blame the other party instead. “Listen, Lois, I don’t know what’s going on here, or why you had me run that plate. But Lex Luthor is pretty much a hero in my book, right now, for saving my job and all. I don’t really want to jeopardize that job by doing things like -” he pointed at the paper she was holding “- that.”  Perfectly understandable point of view from Jimmy here. But still... A nice hot bath sounded like a good idea. Yes, that’s what she would do. She would go home and take a long, hot bath – try to clear her mind – and then she’d try Clark again later. I like the sound of that. Sounds like something Superman could interrupt... The voice was as dark as the room, but familiar. Ooooooooh. Shivers up the spine. Seriously, DJ, this opening to the scene was so atmospheric, full of brooding and almost menace. She turned towards the lamp beside her to click it on, but she was prevented when a large hand came from behind and caught hers. Eeeep! “You like me, don’t you, Lois?” he asked softly. His hand pulled gently, coaxing her to turn around. Oh oh... Her stomach fluttered nervously. Wasn’t that what the clone had asked her? I'm with Lois. He's making me awfully nervous, too. He... he wasn’t wearing his Suit! OMG. For a moment there I had a vision of a naked Superman...  I was right! <looks smug> Then, as if reading her thoughts, his free hand strayed to the buttons on her blouse. Oh, bad boy, Clark. “You will succumb – even if I have to force you...” He forced his tongue between her lips, impatiently seeking her inner depths. He relinquished her mouth long enough to growl, “I won’t be denied.” And then his actions became suddenly voracious, no longer tempered with tenderness or love but, instead, demanding and greedy. Grrrrr. But, again, such wonderful use of language here, DJ. I just love the whole internal struggle in Clark. Excellently portrayed! Brilliantly written! Wonderful! Oh, wow! What a brilliant way to end this segment, DJ. Well. Phew. Honestly, I feel as though I've been wrung out like a wet rag after reading this segment. I think it has to be one of the most powerfully written, atmospheric story segments I've read. Masterfully handled throughout, not a jarring note in there. From the steam of the seduction <more whimpers>, to the intense, brooding menace, to the chilling turn into almost rape, Clark's battle, Lois's faith in Superman and Clark even in the midst of her struggles that he would never hurt her willingly, to the final, terrible realisation from Clark as to what he's been doing... (I sense a massive guilt trip coming on <G>)... ...plus an amazing revelation . Well...wow. Just. Wow. LabRat
Athos: If you'd told us what you were doing, we might have been able to plan this properly.
Aramis: Yes, sorry.
Athos: No, no, by all means, let's keep things suicidal.
The Musketeers
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Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 2,667
Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 2,667 |
Hee hee... Hi Labby! Ooooh, look at the fdk!  Heh, I always had a soft spot for Bobby too. <g> Ooooooooh. Shivers up the spine. Seriously, DJ, this opening to the scene was so atmospheric, full of brooding and almost menace. <blush> Thanks! Wow, what a compliment. <g> OMG. For a moment there I had a vision of a naked Superman... [Dizzy] LOLSSS!!!  Brilliant paragraph. Again, so atmospheric and vivid.
Okay, I can't quote anything from the seduction because I'd be quoting every danged line. But I'm afraid to touch the screen in case it sizzles. Whoa - talk about steam! And heat! And...yowsa! [Shock] SQUEEEEEEE! Thank you! Thank you! <bg> Har! /me takes a small time out from being thoroughly absorbed in the segment to do a victory dance around the room. [Dance] I was right! <looks smug> Yes, you were right.  Ooooh, I just love all the wows and how much you loved it. Eeeeeee! I'm ecstatic. Thanks so much Labby! Now I'm off to see what you thought of the next part. Thanks again everyone! -- DJ
Smile and the world smiles with you ... frown and you're just giving yourself wrinkles.
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Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 1,864
Merriwether
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Merriwether
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 1,864 |
I'm re-reading the last part to get a feel for the story before I go back for the next part. I also realized I only read half of the feedback for the last part. Anyway... Terry, sometimes you downright give me the chills with your postulations on what's happening. <g> I think you'll see what I mean later. Heh. Sue can vouch for me that I've had the ending sketched out for some time now... I remember Terry guessing exactly where I was going with No, In Any Language. It's scary when he gets intuitive. Elisabeth
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