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Top Banana
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OP
Top Banana
Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 1,006 |
This is all Laura S’s fault. We were chatting the other day about teachers we had a crush on, and I told her the story about my (very yummy) eighth grade English teacher. She mentioned something about how that would make an excellent Lois and Clark story, and yesterday was a slow day at work, and so… Voila! Hah! We were trading delicious teacher stories and she ranted on about her 8th grade teacher in such a way that this story nearly complete! It definitely needed to be written, it was so funny. The night ended with Lois, who was by this point more than a little tipsy and pleasantly full, snuggled in the crook of Clark's arm snoring softly. Squee. I loved when Lois is so comfortable with Clark she gets cuddly with him. After a brief moment of wishing he was a bunch of chicken fluff instead of her 'love you like a brother' partner, Clark headed for his own bed that suddenly seemed far too cold and way too empty. I'm having this mental image of Clark submerged in chicken fluff. Hehe.  Lois stumbled her way towards his kitchen in search of a glass of water when she realized that the tiny jackhammers were actually Clark's shower running in the other room.
Inconsiderate bastard. How dare he use his own shower. Carefully, she opened the door before closing it quickly again. She had forgotten that he only had a clear glass door shutting his shower off from the rest of the room. Granted there was a towel strategically draped on a bar to cover all the important bits, but it was still quite disconcerting to see him like that. ‘And pleasantly so!’ her inner voice couldn’t help but add. *Melts* Such a beautiful mental image. Unbidden, she let out a slight moan of pleasure as a sensation of cleanliness washed through her and she suddenly felt rejuvenated.
The sudden scuffle in the shower made her remember where she was. Concerned, she turned to see her partner hopping on one foot as his hand rested on the shower wall. It seemed to her that there was a crack in the porcelain and she wondered how long it had been there and when he planned on getting it fixed.  “Clark!” she cried out frantically, turning to go get him when she bumped into his chest. I don't know why this line sticks out with me so much. I can just feel her bumping into him. *shakes head* I think it's because I'm used to turning around and running headlong into my massive, always afoot older brothers, lol. But I totally know that feeling. “Don’t you have any towels around this place?” EEE!!!!! Do it! Do it! Do it! Before she could react, there was a towel in his hand. He began to beat at the flames just as they were about to finally reach their tasty goal. Lois could only gape as she realized exactly where the towel had come from, and before she could stop herself, her eyes traveled downward.
Hot damn.
Flustered, she tried to look away from the sight of her partner beating out the flames in his altogether, but her eyes seemed to have a boomerang effect on his body. !!!! Gorgeous naked Clark! Flustered, he hopped about as he stumbled out several apologies and exclamations of disbelief before he all but hopped back towards his bedroom. *giggles* poor baby *laugh* “Gee, I didn’t think I looked that funny.” The sulky exclamation she heard from the bedroom did nothing to ebb away her laughing fit. It only served to add fuel and feed her humor until she was practically howling. Mm... She's laughing with you Clark, not at you.  “I only offered her some Pop-Tarts!”
Clark’s face was instantly red as he stammered about needing to get something from the supply closet. He was gone in a flash, leaving an even more confused cub reporter in his wake. And the perfect punchline. Sigh, I absolutely loved this story. Though you might want to edit it so it has a blue arrow next to the post. I nearly missed it. This story had me in fits of laughter though. It was just so sweet (them falling asleep together) and hilarious (the entire rest of the story). Wonderful, wonderful job, --Laura.
Thanks to CapeFetish for the awesome icon.
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 2,687 |
This is one of those cute little stories that I really love to find on the boards while I'm having my morning coffee. Granted, I sometimes end up spilling some of the liquid while I read 'em, but it starts off the day on a wonderful note and usually guarantees I'll be smiling at least through lunch time. The night ended with Lois, who was by this point more than a little tipsy and pleasantly full, snuggled in the crook of Clark's arm snoring softly. *happy sigh* I love it when they end up like that. It's all cute and sweet and generally waffy. After popping two into the toaster she found behind dust-covered pots in one of the floor level cabinets, she headed for the bathroom where Clark was undoubtedly all soapy this very minute. and this is where I'm sorry I'm at work because I'd love to pop in the DVD with "It's a Small World...." on just so I can get a nice good look at one my of absolutely favorite shritless scenes. *dreamy sigh* “Uh, it’s alright!” His voice sounded a wee bit higher than usual, and she wondered if she was just imagining the shocked expression on his face when she had opened the door. “You can still brush your teeth, if you’d like. I promise I won’t peek!” Ok, this is so, soooooo very cute! He's saying he won't peek when he pretty much knows there's nothing to for him to see (let's forget about x-ray vision for a sec!) but she could easily get an eye-full. The sudden scuffle in the shower made her remember where she was. Concerned, she turned to see her partner hopping on one foot as his hand rested on the shower wall. It seemed to her that there was a crack in the porcelain and she wondered how long it had been there and when he planned on getting it fixed. too darn funny!! Was the man really that blind? hehehe. No, you're the one who's blind, Lois. And you're about to be really, *really* blinded real quick. Heeee! I would have liked to be a fly on the wall in this story, you have noooooo idea! “Clark!” Lois exclaimed as she slapped her hand against his damp back and she could practically see him rolling his eyes. “This isn’t a birthday cake!” Lois... Lois... Clark is Superman. So, I mean, you know... SuperBreath and all that. *giggles* Of course, I like the idea of him using the towel a whoooooooole lot better anyhoo. “Gee, I didn’t think I looked that funny.” awww! there, there. *pats him on the back* Funny-looking is definitely not what I would use to describe you. Not at all!! [...]when he saw Clark strolling out into the bullpen whistling an odd tune that sounded strangely familiar. la la la la, la la laaaaaaaaaaaa... *giggles* “I only offered her some Pop-Tarts!” Still choking with laughter at that line.  Way, way too funny for words! Yay for another really great Brucie-fic *dances*
Superman: Why is it that good villains never die?
Batman: Clark, what the hell are good villains?
=> Superman/Batman: Public Enemies
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Kerth
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Kerth
Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 2,082 |
Truly hysterical!
You can find my stories as Groobie on the nfic archives and Susan Young on the gfic archives. In other words, you know me as Groobie. 
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Joined: May 2004
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Columnist
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Columnist
Joined: May 2004
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That was so hilarious! I'll never eat another pop tart again without thinking about this story--or a naked Clark--which really isn't such a bad thing! Thanks for sharing, I really needed a good laugh.
Silence is golden.
Duct tape is silver.
~Saw it on a T-Shirt.
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Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 346
Beat Reporter
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Beat Reporter
Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 346 |
This was wonderful! I was laughing so hard at Clark. Since when had Clark's apartment transformed into the teacup ride? I particularly liked this line. And this: It seemed to her that there was a crack in the porcelain and she wondered how long it had been there and when he planned on getting it fixed. And this: Before she could react, there was a towel in his hand. He began to beat at the flames just as they were about to finally reach their tasty goal. Lois could only gape as she realized exactly where the towel had come from, and before she could stop herself, her eyes traveled downward.
Hot damn. And this: “I only offered her some Pop-Tarts!” Okay, I lie. I loved the entire thing! Such a cute concept! Thank you for putting a smile on my face first thing in the morning, Catherine! ~Anna.
Lois: Jimmy, give me back my dress.
Clark: Now there's something you don't hear around the newsroom everyday.
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
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ROTFLMAO! Very amusing little story! Loved it. Laura
Clark: “If we can be born in an instant, and die in an instant, why can’t we fall in love in an instant?”
Caroline's "Stardust"
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Nobel Peace Prize Winner
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Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 5,797 |
Oh geeez, Brucie!!!  “Well, I figured that her blood sugar was probably a little low, because sometimes she gets really crabby when she doesn't eat, so I offered her something for breakfast.”
“What did you offer?” Jimmy was surprised at the accusing undertone in the man's voice, and wondered if Lois had any idea just how protective of her Clark was.
“I only offered her some Pop-Tarts!” Brucie, you're killing me!!! Clark's face was instantly red as he stammered about needing to get something from the supply closet. He was gone in a flash, leaving an even more confused cub reporter in his wake. Supply closet... supply closet... after reading Sue's Faustian Bargain (the nfic version) there is only one thing I can think of when I hear that Clark is rushing off to the supply closet... damn, you are distracting me from your own story, Cat! (Or maybe not? What not to wear around Lois in the supply closet when there are Pop-Tarts nearby? ) Ann
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Merriwether
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Merriwether
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 1,864 |
Great story... Although I am now quite worried about what exactly you were doing with your 8th-grade teacher that inspired this whole nonsense. Hmmm...
Elisabeth
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Joined: Sep 2006
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Columnist
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Columnist
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Oh. My. God. Granted there was a towel strategically draped on a bar to cover all the important bits, but it was still quite disconcerting to see him like that. ‘And pleasantly so!’ her inner voice couldn’t help but add. Although, she did manage to have a very nice image of his back burned permanently into her retinas. *Sigh* some girls get all the fun... The sudden scuffle in the shower made her remember where she was. Concerned, she turned to see her partner hopping on one foot as his hand rested on the shower wall. It seemed to her that there was a crack in the porcelain and she wondered how long it had been there and when he planned on getting it fixed. Poor guy. “Clark!” Lois exclaimed as she slapped her hand against his damp back and she could practically see him rolling his eyes. “This isn’t a birthday cake!” Taking a quick glance around the kitchen, she groaned. Typical bachelor. “Don’t you have any towels around this place?” Hm, possible revelation vs. nekkid Clark.....Yep, nekkid Clark wins! Before she could react, there was a towel in his hand. He began to beat at the flames just as they were about to finally reach their tasty goal. Lois could only gape as she realized exactly where the towel had come from, and before she could stop herself, her eyes traveled downward.
Hot damn. Woohoo!!! Finally the flames were out, and breathing heavily he turned towards her. She tried to look away - honestly she did - but there was another image that was burned permanently into her brain. Yeah, she definitely gets to have all the fun. “Can you um… Can you put your towel back on, please?” Spoilsport. Though I guess this is the G board... He was redder than she remembered ever seeing him, towel wrapped snuggly around his waist. Flustered, he hopped about as he stumbled out several apologies and exclamations of disbelief before he all but hopped back towards his bedroom. *Giggle* “I only offered her some Pop-Tarts!” This fic was so, so awesome. You'll have to supply us with more awesomeness soon! Jessi
"Lois Lane is Clark Kent's Superman." - Brian Miller
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Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 3,145 Likes: 3
Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 3,145 Likes: 3 |
I don't know how many of you are aware of it, but this vignette is based on solid scientific studies. Here's one link to one such experimental summary. More are available by Googling the keywords "flaming Pop-Tart toaster" and perusing the results. Science geeks rule!
Life isn't a support system for writing. It's the other way around.
- Stephen King, from On Writing
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Merriwether
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Merriwether
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TOtally scientific. That site rocked the charts!
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Jul 2006
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OMG! *laughs herself silly checking out that website* Ah, Terry, what would we do without you? Thanks!
Superman: Why is it that good villains never die?
Batman: Clark, what the hell are good villains?
=> Superman/Batman: Public Enemies
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Joined: Aug 2005
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Nobel Peace Prize Winner
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Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 5,797 |
Dr. Roger A. Hunt failed to inform you, Terry, that he is the nephew of Dr. Klein. Dr. Klein wishes to suggest that Dr. Hunt should probably perform the experiment a third time and use a wet towel as a fire extinguisher, since that might affect the flavor and quality of the smoke (and steam?) being released by the toaster.
Ann
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Kerth
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Kerth
Joined: Mar 2006
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Bwahahahaha! I love that he toyed with the idea of just blowing the fire out. But in the back of my mind I was thinking "use the towel, Clark!". And then he did! Squee! Very funny, Cat.
Lois: You know, I have a funny feeling that you didn't tell me your biggest secret.
Clark: Well, just to put your little mind at ease, Lois, you're right.
Ides of Metropolis
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Merriwether
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Merriwether
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 1,883 |
Unbidden, she let out a slight moan of pleasure as a sensation of cleanliness washed through her and she suddenly felt rejuvenated.
The sudden scuffle in the shower made her remember where she was. Concerned, she turned to see her partner hopping on one foot as his hand rested on the shower wall. It seemed to her that there was a crack in the porcelain and she wondered how long it had been there and when he planned on getting it fixed. This gave me a lot of giggles. Turning back around, he seemed to take a deep breath, as though he were about to blow out the flames.
“Clark!” ... “This isn’t a birthday cake!” Dying, I'm absolutely dying with laughter. My co-workers will be in here in a minute! The image of Clark beating out those flames buck nekkid is now burned in my brain, too! She gave a burst of near manic giggle I know what she means! I like the ending with Jimmy. Great touch. Oh, Brucie, this story made me laugh harder than I have in days. Thank you for that.
lisa in the sky with diamonds
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Columnist
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Columnist
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Oh god. I just bout died with laughter! I Love this! Good job, Cat! Rach
Me: what are you looking at *Snatches pic* OMFG! Dean smeared in peanut butter?! WTF?!
Sara: LMAO it was chocolate!! smeared in chocolate!
Me: LMFAO chocolate smeared in chocolate!
Sara: LMAO the *chocolate* isn't smeared in chocolate!
Me: that's the way i read it. was trying to picture chocolate smeared in chocolate
Sara: ROTFLMAO
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