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#44345 07/10/07 09:11 PM
Joined: Aug 2005
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Nobel Peace Prize Winner
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I can't belive that there is apparently so little interest in this story! I think it's absolutely fascinating. Do other people think that your story is "too similar" to the episodes, perhaps? Because that is something that wouldn't bother me, obviously. But really, there are some very major differences from the show here, the biggest one being that in this case, Lois knows right from the Messenger incidence that Clark is Superman, but Clark doesn't know that she knows.

This important difference makes me wonder about Lois's reaction to Clark's "death" and "resurrection" in this part of the story, though. But maybe Lois is so devastated by Clark's "death" because she grieves for the death of his persona, not for the death of his invulnerable body, which she knows to be alive. That makes sense, of course. But then her reaction to his "resurrection" should perhaps have been more mixed. Shouldn't she think that Clark was about to blow his secret identity and admit that he is Superman, and shouldn't that worry her?

Oh well. This is not a major criticism. I'm sure you can come up with a reasonable explanation for it - heck, even I can do it. This is a part of this chapter that particularly struck me:

Quote
“You were right last night. I haven't always been my self around you. I've just, well, worshipped you from afar. I can't believe I even found the courage to tell you how I felt. Don't take what I said the wrong way. I *love* you, Clark, but I don't think I've ever seen myself as your equal.”
That's it, isn't it? Lois knew that Clark wasn't physically dead, but she couldn't work up the courage she needed to try to contact him (by yelling for Superman, perhaps? wink ) and admit to him that she knows that Superman is Clark Kent, and that they needed to figure out a way to either bring Clark back or, at worst, to make it possible for "the man who used to be Clark" to find another way to lead a moderately normal life and be together with Lois. Because frankly, she hasn't the guts to tell Clark what he ought to do.

I loved this, too:

Quote
“Well, thanks for the ride, Lois,” he said a little awkwardly. He needed to say so many things, but he was exhausted, and so was she. Now was just not the time.

“I'm coming in with you.”

“You are?” Lois had already turned off the Jeep and was headed towards his front door. “I guess you are.”

He unlocked the door and opened it so that Lois could enter. She grabbed his tie as she passed him to go through the door and pulled him in, slamming the door shut. She grabbed his face in her hands and began to kiss him frantically, hardly allowing him time to recover from the shock and respond. When she showed no signs of stopping her assault on his mouth, he took her by the shoulders and set her away from him.

“Lois, what is this?”

“Clark, you almost died!” her voice broke. “I want you to make love to me *now*.”
Even though Lois knew that Clark wasn't physically dead, she still thought that she had lost him. I love that she won't let herself be sent away, and I love that she kisses him so passionately and asks him to make love to her. I love that she is letting him see her desperate need for him.

Clark doesn't give in to her demands. The secret that he thinks he has been keeping from her and the way that he thinks he has been deceiving her is weighing heavily on his mind, and his own honesty and self-respect won't allow him to become intimate with her before he has come clean with her and taken her into his confidence. Good. I like that. However, in typical Clark fashion, he decides that he can't tell her now, because the time isn't right. Lois is too emotional now. Oh Clark, when will there ever, ever be a right time?

Personally, I think Lois should consider telling him that she knows. I guess there are two possible reasons why she hasn't done it. One is that she may want him to tell her, if only because she needs to give him the satisfaction of knowing that he told her himself, voluntarily. She probably wants him to know that he did work up the courage to cross that terrifying threshold. She wants him to know that he wouldn't have kept lying to her forever, just because he was too chicken to tell her the truth.

The second reason why Lois isn't telling Clark that she already knows his secret may well be her lack of confidence in herself. Just like she told Clark in this chapter, she doesn't feel like his equal. She is too much in awe of him. She can't find it in herself to stand up to him and confront him and ask him to stop lying to her. She can't even find it in herself to gently tell him that he can stop lying now, because she already knows his secret.

So Lois and Clark have several bridges to cross before they can really get together. I don't know if Lois really needs to learn to be Mad Dog Lane to Clark, but she does need to learn to stand up to him when necessary. Actually, she needs to work up the courage to be honest with him, just like he needs to do the same thing with her.

Anyway, I loved the sweetness of Lois and Clark's chaste but tender togetherness that night. I enjoyed seeing Clark use his superpowers to overpower the dangerous clones. And I had a lot of fun at this:

Quote
“Cloning is not really my area of expertise. Actually, I don't have an area of expertise. . .” he mused distractedly as he read.

Clark tried to remember what he had read about Dr. Klein. Thanks to his photographic memory, he recalled that Dr. Klein was considered a genius by his peers. Unfortunately, he dabbled in so many different fields that many of his theories would lie unproven for years because his focus had drifted to another subject.
In my opinion, it's simply not possible to be such an "all-purpose expert" as Dr. Klein is made out to be. But I love that he is portrayed that way! I think we should be gently reminded now and then that LnC is a fantasy, almost a fairy tale, and I absolutely don't mind seeing Dr. Klein cast as the traditional kind wizard and techno-sci-fi miracle worker in the fariy tale fantasy of Lois and Clark!

I love your story, Rachel(?)!

Ann

#44346 07/11/07 12:34 AM
Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 185
Hack from Nowheresville
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Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 185
This chapter was really good. I enjoyed it and the addition of Dr. Klein--one of my favorite charicters.

So. . . does Lois realize that Clark is Superman? It sure sounds like it but Clark didn't seem to catch what she was saying (maybe he wasn't awake enough?)

I'm looking forward to the next chapther. BTW--I didn't notice this post until the FDK thread started--it would help me find your posts if you use the Little Blue arrow to show your stories.

Vonceil


Johnny was a chemist,
Now Johnny is no more,
For what he thought was H two O
Was really H two S O four.
--Lab safety limrick--
#44347 07/11/07 02:11 AM
Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 120
Hack from Nowheresville
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Hack from Nowheresville
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Posts: 120
I have been totally remiss in not posting FDK on this story, or its predecessor Smallville Style. I *LOVE* this story - the entire premise is so different, that I've been hooked from the very first post.

Please don't think that there isn't a lot of interest in this story - I imagine that there are a lot of other people out there that are overwhelmed with RL!

Please keep writing - You're doing an *amazing* job!

Shells


You must be the change you wish to see in the world.

- Mahatma Gandhi
#44348 07/11/07 03:20 AM
Joined: May 2003
Posts: 244
Hack from Nowheresville
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Hack from Nowheresville
Joined: May 2003
Posts: 244
*slinks in - looks around - smiles a bit uneasily*
Uhm hi...!? wink

I just wanted to let you know that I have been following this story as well as its predecessor avidly. I love your premise: things are still quite similar and yet completely turned around as well.

It's very well written and captivating. But, like Ann, I didn't get the impression that Lois knew Clark was well... But maybe that's just how Clark perceived it, since this is basically more from his POV than Lois'. *thinks a bit on that* Yes! That's it! Clark never really saw Lois grieving, right? He mostly just assumed that she must have been desolate - because he doesn't know that she knows!

Anyways, keep the chapters coming and know that we read them, even if we don't leave feedback. *looks around guitily* I read lots stories without leaving feedback... Bad habit, but hard to break. laugh

Sira - your avid reader.

#44349 07/11/07 10:45 AM
Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 21
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Posts: 21
I love this story, and the previous one, Smallville style. Unfortunately, I'm french, hyper


Que serais-je sans toi qui vins à ma rencontre ...

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