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#43845 06/22/07 05:16 AM
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ShayneT Offline OP
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Well, what do you think?

#43846 06/22/07 06:37 AM
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Pulitzer
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Still with you. I liked the hug but of course it was just a tease. Alien Intervention! LOL She should only know. Now both of them are freaks but in a good way. It will be interesting to see who tells who first about their unusual abilities. Keep going! Laura


Clark: “If we can be born in an instant, and die in an instant, why can’t we fall in love in an instant?”

Caroline's "Stardust"
#43847 06/22/07 09:01 AM
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Kerth
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Lois is still in a bit of a state of denial about her powers smile1 And Clark is being a tease...

The only survivors of the Knights I can recall had their sanity stolen by Glory, and may not be able to answer many questions. Unless someone managed to get away somehow.


Marcus L. Rowland
Forgotten Futures, The Scientific Romance Role Playing Game
#43848 06/22/07 10:06 AM
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Pulitzer
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OH, moving in to a double revelation!
cool
Artemis


History is easy once you've lived it. - Duncan MacLeod
Writing history is easy once you've lived it. - Artemis
#43849 06/22/07 11:40 AM
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Never been a Buffy fan, but the only way to not have gotten some familiarity with the show and the accompanying mythos is to have been shut away without a television for the last ten years (or has it been longer). You'd get some just from seeing the commercials for Buffy and Angel.

I'm enjoying this story mainly because it centers around Lois (and I guess you also say Clark), and Shayne is a very talented writer. Even without being fully knowledgeable of the Buffy backstory the 'mystery' and 'problems' that Lois and Clark are confronted with make for interesting reading.

Looking forward to more.

Tank (who thinks it will be interesting to watch Clark's reaction to the more 'bloodthirsty' Lois as her changes take hold)

#43850 06/22/07 12:18 PM
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Hack from Nowheresville
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I'm enjoying your story and am looking forward to the next part.

As I said in my review for section 7:
Quote
Ok--Clark NEEDS to tell Lois, and Lois NEEDS to tell Clark. They need to work togeather if everyone else is going to survive.
Please make it soon!! devil It should be intresting--because if I'm correct, this is "pre" globe Clark who is only guessing about where he came from and doesn't really know. Right?

Vonceil


Johnny was a chemist,
Now Johnny is no more,
For what he thought was H two O
Was really H two S O four.
--Lab safety limrick--
#43851 06/22/07 03:29 PM
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I wouldn't call Lois 'bloodthirsty,' Tank, just a whole lot more capable (and far more lethal) than she already was. And I'm waiting for the double revelation, too. That should be a very interesting conversation.

Keep it coming, Shayne! I'm hooked but good.


Life isn't a support system for writing. It's the other way around.

- Stephen King, from On Writing
#43852 06/22/07 04:00 PM
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ShayneT Offline OP
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Thanks for you guys continuing support.

One of the things about most crossovers is that if you haven't seen both shows, you can't enjoy the story.

Also, inept writers often get so excited to have people from x show meet Y show that they skip over things in order to get to the "good parts."

The good crossover fanfic I've seen didn't skip anything. It kept a good pace.

Still, I wanted to write a story that would be accessible even to people who had never seen the other show. The only way I could see to do that would be to keep the focus on Lois and make it her story. She's clueless about this other world, and the story is at least in part about her efforts to learn about it.

As she learns about it, the reader does also, and hopefully in manageable chunks.

Hopefully I'v e accomplished my goal.

Laura, the pacing of the romance is a difficult thing. This story isn't romnce focused, like most of the stories on Lois and Clark are. This makes it a little harder to juggle. How fast is too fast?

I think Lois's growing admiration for Clark is going ok. We all know how he feels about her. He tends not to vary much on this one issue from universe to universe.

Marcus (and thanks for the comments on both sites), I'm keeping mum. We'll see next chapter. evil

Vonceil, I had forgotten the very point that you just made. I'll have to go wih the assumption that Clark is only assuming he's an alien, but doesn't really know. Hmmm....might be some interesting plotting for the future smile

Thanks Terry. The bloodthirsty thing is up in the air now. Whether you or Tank is right...we'll see. evil

Thanks again for all the feedback!

#43853 06/23/07 12:09 AM
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Sneaking a very few minutes...

Shayne, I read and very much liked part eight, but I have had no time to comment. Let me just say two things... I knew it! I knew that Angela was on the side of the bad ones, or that that was where she was going to end up. It's nice to be right... *cough* wink

I really, really liked seeing Lois use her newfound strength to fight the evil vampires! Yay! And no matter how much I love a Clark/Lois romance, I think it is perfect to have this new, changed Lois just increasingly comfortable in Clark's presence. I loved how she just felt so relieved when Clark showed up at the end. Of course, I want to see Clark join the fight against the vampires, and I want to see Clark and Lois fight the forces of evil together.

Ann

#43854 06/23/07 08:35 AM
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Shayne,
I continue to enjoy this story immensely. I think you have the pacing down perfectly, and it's a brilliant idea to use the Lois POV to slowly bring L&C fans who don't know the BtVS universe into the fold. I love the build up of all of the forces-- the story of the Sunnydale aftermath, the expat Sunnydale baddies making their presence known, Clark's powers, and Lois's powers. I love being along for this ride. Keep up the good work!

Hutch

#43855 06/23/07 01:23 PM
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Freelance Reporter
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I definately think the pacing is going at the right speed, and I think you're introducing the BtVS elements of the story in a way that someone with no familiarity can learn about it from Lois point of view.


From Pheremone, My Lovely:

Clark: Lois! Please! Get a grip!
Lois: Believe me, I’d love to!
#43856 06/23/07 02:10 PM
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Top Banana
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Loving the story tremendously ... know nothing about Buffy-verse but am hooked... drool


If she had to move heaven and Earth, perhaps come back to haunt Perry and explain the story after they'd killed her, she would do it.

Waking a Miracle by Aria
#43857 06/23/07 08:10 PM
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I'd expect that if either of them used their full abilities to study the other they'd notice that they are not a normal human. Which has interesting possibilities.


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