Lois & Clark Forums Forums Fan Fiction Lois & Clark Fanfic FDK: Smallville Style Part 2/12

*snicker*

I'm seriously hooked now. More soon please! (But not too soon, I suggest give everyone a couple days to catch up before posting the next chapter)

Lisa

Oh, Clark... :rolleyes:
:p

No!

Yes!

NO!

YES!

YES!!!!


~C Noetal (still want more!)

This is a very fascinating glimpse into the lives of, primarily, teenaged Lois and Clark. I very much like how you show things happening and changing, going back and forth: Lois and Lucy go to Smallville for a summer, become much happier, and go back home again. Clark dates Lana, she breaks up with him, she wants him back and he takes her back. (But he is not seriously in love with her, I think.) And Ellen Lane goes to a clinic and is treated for her alcoholism, things are fine in the Lane household, Sam comes back, Sam leaves Ellen again, and Ellen hits the bottle again. And Lois is seventeen, old enough to leave home and be treated as an adult in the eyes of the law, but she can't leave Lucy with Ellen.

I very much hope that Lois will leave home and that Lucy will be taken care of by the Kents!

Come back with more soon!

Ann

Hi,

I've just read the first two parts of this story and I'm very eager to read more.

New beginnings are different and you've made yours very interesting. I'm already hooked on the lives of this Lois and Clark and wonder how you're going to treat the creation of Superman.

Lois already knows something is unusual about Clark, though she's had too many distractions to figure out just what... yet. Will this Lois help Clark create our super hero? I'm sure she'll certainly put two and two together when Superman does appear.

Looking forward to seeing how your story plays out... and a sequel. That's even better. I'm kinda into sequels.

Yours Jenni

Oh, this is just wonderful. I'm all tied up in the lives of these charicters. You have made young Lois so engaging.

Please post more soon.

Vonceil

This is, indeed, a powerful story. It's interesting how you've chosen to show how destructive alcohol can be to the lives of both children and adults. I have to wonder if you're simply using something already established in the canon of the show (Ellen's drinking problem) or if there's something partially autobiographical in there. You don't have to tell us, of course, which it is, or if it's simply something that has come to your attention. Or, maybe it's just a handy plot device. Whatever it is, you're handling it well.

I, too, like the way you're portraying young Lois and young Clark. And I think you've nailed Lucy as a child perfectly. Her actions and reactions are age-appropriate, and she's cute as two buttons! Lois's overwhelming desire to 'take care of her sister' is so very appropriate, too. You're doing a marvelous job with this story, and don't be concerned with the length! Sometimes it takes a while to tell a particular story.

The only suggestion I have is that you might consider breaking up some of the longer narrative paragraphs into shorter ones. It would make it easier for the readers to grasp the vital information you're giving us. And I'll be looking for the next chapter!

And you're already mulling a sequel? Wonderful! I want to read it, too, but not until this story is finished. Keep up the good work, okay?

And let Clark keep dropping subtle little hints about his abilities where Lois can see or hear them, so she can figure out some of the things he can do that are so special, and so she can help him understand that his abilities aren't a curse but a blessing. Maybe she can help Jonathan realize how positive Clark's powers are, too.

deleted

Yep, this story definitely has me hooked! I really like the friendship that is starting to develop between the young Lois and Clark. And it's so nice to get so many glimpses into what Lois' life was like and what it could have been like if someone would have intervened in her mother's drinking problem. I'm glad this Lois is getting out (even if it is temporary) and going someplace much happier. After all, you can't get much better than Smallville.

I'm really interested to see how long it will take before either Lois figures Clark out (the car door was a HUGE clue) or Clark spills the beans on his secret. Now that Clark can fly, I think it's going to be a lot harder for him to hide it. I also wonder if Lucy will play some sort of role in that or if she'll be kept in the dark. You've definitely given me a lot of food for thought.

I loved this part because it is so incredibly Clark. All he wants to do is try to fix the problem in any way he knows how, even if it means flying all the way to Metropolis to keep Lois company. This is definitely a huge clue for Lois and I think it'll help her to put everything together. At least that's what I'm hoping.

Can't wait for the next part!

Really enjoying the story, but I do have one nitpick. A new calf is a big deal. Martha would definately know if they had a new one.

Too funny! And, of course, we know that Clark didn't wear his glasses, because he didn't need them in KC where he didn't need a cover story.

By the way, give a girl a break. I just started reading the story and I'm hopelessly behind. I started reading because I saw that the first post was only about a week old. I figured you had only posted one or two parts--three max. Now I see that you're almost done. I promise to leave feedback on each and every part, but slow down for me. Okay?

Elisabeth