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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
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Joined: Aug 2003
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I'm supposed to be writing a paper right now... but I couldn't resist starting the feedback thread for this story! That said, I don't really have time for proper feedback, so I'll have to come back later. wink

Meantime, go check out mine and Paul's trailer for this story over here.

Sara (who actually squeed out loud when she saw this first post blush )


Kerth nominations are opening on March 3!
🏆2024 Kerth Award Posts 🏆.

Join us on the #loisclark Discord server! We talk about fanfic, the show, life, and more!

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Avatar by Carrie Rene smile
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Columnist
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Freaking net is laggy!! ...

Anyway, I LOVEEEEEEE this story. It's so unique and it blows your mind away with the writing. I love this, Paul! Keep it up. I can't wait for the next part. wink


Rach laugh


Me: what are you looking at *Snatches pic* OMFG! Dean smeared in peanut butter?! WTF?!
Sara: LMAO it was chocolate!! smeared in chocolate!
Me: LMFAO chocolate smeared in chocolate!
Sara: LMAO the *chocolate* isn't smeared in chocolate!
Me: that's the way i read it. was trying to picture chocolate smeared in chocolate
Sara: ROTFLMAO
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Merriwether
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What an intriguing beginning! I'm looking forward to more. smile


lisa in the sky with diamonds
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Paul, this is brilliant! I love how you're weaving together characters from so many different A-plots, and I can't wait to see where you take it. Tommy's narration is wonderfully engaging, and as a reader, I feel like I'm really starting this journey with him.

And this bit absolutely cracked me up:

Quote
"Welcome," he said grandly, "to the Fortress of Sewertude."
smile1

Caroline

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Okay, I know Caroline just quoted it, but how can I not repeat it? I've been repeating it to myself all day!!

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the Fortress of Sewertude
goofy

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There was a strike, and I had to go with it. By the time it was resolved, I'd gotten rusty. Literally.
Ouch!!! *creak*

So funny, Paul! And what a great take on one of the humourous, magical mystery characters of LnC - Bobby Bigmouth. Are you going to let Bobby meet Bibbo, by the way? laugh

Ann

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Paul,
I'm really enjoying this story. You always have such and interesting perspective on L&C. I never would have thought of using the tertiary charcaters this way. So, will we get to see every character from the series join the exclusive club (at least, those not in prison)?

I never really liked the Smart Kids episode, but you've written them very well. And I LOVE how you explain Bobby's almost supernatural ability to ferret out information. clap

I look forward to the next installment.
BJ

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Nan Offline
Kerth
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I read this story on the DVD and it's good. You really ought to write long stories more often, Paul. Your humorous little short stories are always wonderful, of course: you have a tremendous talent for comedy, but something like this showcases your talent for other kinds of writing.

Nan


Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.
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Pulitzer
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Thanks for the FDK, everyone! And thanks for the trailer, Sara!

So glad to see you guys are enjoying the story. It's just getting started, but I'm proud of this one.

Nice to see some of the gags and throwaways are doing well, too. "Fortress of Sewertude" just kind of popped to mind, but once it did, Phillip and I couldn't resist it.

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quote: After our fight, I picked myself up, dusted myself off, and set about trying to do the right thing.

Makes me want to sing. Wonder why?
You know... I honestly don't remember if I was thinking about the song at the time. (That's actually next entry...) But hey, if it gets you singing, I'm not going to object. wink

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Are you going to let Bobby meet Bibbo, by the way? laugh
Well, you'll have to see... but don't expect too much on this score. Sorry. Bibbo is more of a background character, even in this story.

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So, will we get to see every character from the series join the exclusive club (at least, those not in prison)?
lol, not quite. But there are some more recruits still to come.

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And I LOVE how you explain Bobby's almost supernatural ability to ferret out information. clap
Thanks. To me, that's a lot of what this story is about: filling in a lot of the little gaps in the series. There's more to it than that, but I did set out to answer every question that I could think of.

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I read this story on the DVD and it's good. You really ought to write long stories more often, Paul. Your humorous little short stories are always wonderful, of course: you have a tremendous talent for comedy, but something like this showcases your talent for other kinds of writing.
Wow. Thanks, Nan. High praise, indeed.

Unfortunately, I'm not really in control of what I write. It all depends on what ideas occur to me. Each story is exactly as long as it needs to be.

Anyway, thanks again to everyone who commented! Part 2 is coming right up! smile

Paul


When in doubt, think about penguins. It probably won't help, but at least it'll be fun.

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