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Joined: Mar 2007
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Hack from Nowheresville
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OP
Hack from Nowheresville
Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 252 |
Ahhhhh.....
Wonderful writing but now I want to go hide under the bed.
Ahhhhh.....
*brain has shut down due to fear*
The Little Tornado.
Post edited by admin: Just correcting the header to read 1/2 instead of 2/2
The Little Tornado is .... .... Marisa Wikramanayake Freelance Writer & Editor, Board Member of SoEWA and Writing WA http://www.marisa.com.au
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Posts: 1,437
Top Banana
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Top Banana
Joined: Feb 2006
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Oooooh! Even more chilling than the first story!
Hurry and post part two, before I have a nightmare or something.
Darcy
*who would post an emoticon, but they're all too happy*
"You take turns, advise and protect one another, even heal or be healed when the going gets too tough. I know! That's not a game--that's friendship!" ~Shelly Mezzanoble, Confessions of a Part-Time Sorceress: A Girl's Guide to the Dungeons & Dragons Game Darcy\'s Place
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Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 1,006
Top Banana
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Top Banana
Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 1,006 |
He was still there. So friendly, so helpful, so very, very far away. Great line! And YES that was even more chilling than the first one!!! Ahh torture... and I liked how you sort of merged that scene in with Perry watching it on video. Very seamless and neat. And may I just ask you to UPDATE UPDATE!? Please? It was awesome. Laura
Thanks to CapeFetish for the awesome icon. 
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Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 5,797
Nobel Peace Prize Winner
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Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 5,797 |
She wasn't dead. He would know it - somehow - if she was dead. Wouldn't he? Wouldn't he feel something that momentous, that life-changing, in his soul? Wonderful lines. And great writing. But the torture is close to the limit of what I can take. Ann
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Merriwether
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Merriwether
Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 1,763 |
This is so hot! My jaw dropped open and made myself read slow to soak it in. When she started to read the letter, my hope of Superman coming was starting to diminish. "Read this," Burly instructed, holding up a note as he took hold of her left wrist. Shorty wrapped his fingers around her right wrist at the same time Reading that this man can hold her wrists with one hand shows how strong he is. I panic when I'm restrained even in the safest of situations so this really got to me. Good job!  Burly took hold of her ring finger and she let out an involuntary whimper. "No," she whispered, more as a reflex than anything else. The whimper quickly became a moan and then she was screaming...
Perry turned off the television, unable to keep watching. He glanced out the window of his office in time to see Clark coming down the ramp into the newsroom. He knocked on the window, gesturing Clark into his office. I did a double take to see that we switched to Perry's office. Part of me was relieved to have left that situation. With Perry, I know that something beneficial for Lois will hopefully occur. Well at least I hope that will happen. The other part of me wanted to stay and be with her. How can anyone go ahead and hurt someone like that? Finger breaking is sooo gross, so painful. Hopefully that is the main worry here (in regards to bodily harm). He pushed away the possibility that they might have killed her after they had stopped taping. She wasn't dead. He would know it - somehow - if she was dead. Wouldn't he? Wouldn't he feel something that momentous, that life-changing, in his soul?
'Right,' he tortured himself, 'just like you knew when they were torturing her.' Poor Clark. Don't dwell man. Of course this is Clark so he will go there. Please find her! I need more!
I've converted to lurk-ism... hopefully only temporary.
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Top Banana
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Top Banana
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  BJ
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Joined: Feb 2006
Posts: 1,437
Top Banana
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Top Banana
Joined: Feb 2006
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She's left-handed," Shorty said. "Her watch is on her right wrist Eh, actually, she's right handed. Wasn't that the big give-away to the doppleganger in "Madam Ex"? OMG! I never realized that connection! I just thought maybe the Lois in this story was one of those right-handed people who wear their watch on their right hands! So maybe the Lois in front of the camera ISN'T Lois? Maybe she's Marie--the girl who Arianna made have plastic surgery so she could LOOK like Lois?
"You take turns, advise and protect one another, even heal or be healed when the going gets too tough. I know! That's not a game--that's friendship!" ~Shelly Mezzanoble, Confessions of a Part-Time Sorceress: A Girl's Guide to the Dungeons & Dragons Game Darcy\'s Place
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Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 941
Features Writer
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Features Writer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 941 |
Eh, actually, she's right handed. Wasn't that the big give-away to the doppleganger in "Madam Ex"? Yes, that's true. But these guys may not realize that. Since most RH people wear their watch on their left wrist and vice versa, they may be just assuming that Lois falls into the majority. Very nicely written, taut and suspenseful. I'm on the edge of my seat, willing Clark to find her NOW! Kathy
"Our thoughts form the universe. They always matter." - Babylon 5
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Joined: Feb 2007
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Blogger
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Blogger
Joined: Feb 2007
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Ah - but Lois (who is right handed) wears her watch on her right wrist. It's always made me wonder if maybe Teri Hatcher is left handed.  Thank you to everyone who has left me feedback! I was worried that I might be crossing a line by actually stating what they did to her. I found it more chilling when it was left to the imagination myself.
Perry: Jimmy, do you know what a man needs at a time like this?
Jimmy: A baseball bat and an alibi?
Church of Metropolis
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Joined: Feb 2006
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Top Banana
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Top Banana
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Ah - but Lois (who is right handed) wears her watch on her right wrist. It's always made me wonder if maybe Teri Hatcher is left handed. Other places in the series, we see Teri holding pencils and things in her right hand though, so she's probably really right-handed. I think she might just be one of those people who wear their watches on the "wrong" hand. Like my sister--she's a lefty, and she wears her watches (when she wears one at all) on her left hand, and my brother (who's a righty) wears his watches on his right hand.
"You take turns, advise and protect one another, even heal or be healed when the going gets too tough. I know! That's not a game--that's friendship!" ~Shelly Mezzanoble, Confessions of a Part-Time Sorceress: A Girl's Guide to the Dungeons & Dragons Game Darcy\'s Place
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Joined: Feb 2007
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Blogger
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Blogger
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It was just a little detail I tossed in - because I didn't want poor Lois to have her dominant hand broken and because it upped the creep factor to have them ask her.
Perry: Jimmy, do you know what a man needs at a time like this?
Jimmy: A baseball bat and an alibi?
Church of Metropolis
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
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Oh, I was soooo hoping that they were not going to cut off her hand/fingers...  James
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Beat Reporter
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Beat Reporter
Joined: Mar 2007
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Ooh, this story is gooooddd... One of my favourite parts: He saw Superman's jaw clench, a muscle jumping in his cheek, as they broke her first finger. I can picture that in my mind so clearly. Please tell me there'll be more? Soon? ~Anna.
Lois: Jimmy, give me back my dress.
Clark: Now there's something you don't hear around the newsroom everyday.
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Posts: 3,145 Likes: 3
Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 3,145 Likes: 3 |
The best scary stories, in my own humble opinion, are those which don't tell everything but leave a great deal to the reader's imagination. That was a tool of both Edgar Allan Poe and H. P. Lovecraft, and they wrote some pretty scary stuff. Kinda like this story. This is excellent! It's tense, it's tight, it flows smoothly, and I liked the transition from the torture scene to Perry's office. You were able to go from Lois's pain to Perry's and Superman's pain without any difficult jumps. And the casual brutality of the two men, treating Lois not as a human being but as an impersonal means to an end, is quite chilling also. Darcy confessed a dark family secret: Like my sister--she's a lefty, and she wears her watches (when she wears one at all) on her left hand, and my brother (who's a righty) wears his watches on his right hand. Having read and enjoyed your stories, Darcy, we know what kind of family you must have. I'm sure it's weird and unpredictable but fun to be around.
Life isn't a support system for writing. It's the other way around.
- Stephen King, from On Writing
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Merriwether
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Merriwether
Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 1,763 |
More? I wondered about the who left/right hand thing. I wondered where you were going with that or I was just reading too much into it. More?  (side note -sorry- when I search 'scream' in fanfic, this FDK comes up still as "FDK: Scream or OMG! OMG! 2/2" I know this has nothing to do with the poster...I'm just confused.)
I've converted to lurk-ism... hopefully only temporary.
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Joined: Jul 2004
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Hack from Nowheresville
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Hack from Nowheresville
Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 130 |
I hope that this story will get finished--so creepy! Plus, then there can be lots of angst after Superman rescues Lois. We are going to get a happy ending after all this, right?
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Features Writer
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Features Writer
Joined: Jul 2006
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I want more of this too! *poke* *poke*
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Posts: 2,687
Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 2,687 |
Oh, yes.. please post the end of this? ![[Linked Image]](http://homepage.mac.com/carot/icons/please_by_bad_blood.gif)
Superman: Why is it that good villains never die?
Batman: Clark, what the hell are good villains?
=> Superman/Batman: Public Enemies
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