Hi, Ann! I’m here (finally!) Hopefully my thoughts will be semi-coherent, considering what time it is here . . . but you shouldn’t have to wait any longer.
Hmmmm, that reminds me - I'm sure Clark did the same thing a while back. He looked at his very pale face in the mirror, which reinforced to all of us how bad he felt. Lois isn't feeling too great either, as she has woken from a nightmare.
I love to reuse similar situations and thought patterns throughout DD, and it tickles me when people pick up on them. Just for a little “gee, whiz,” one example is from Lois’s thought process in one of the more recent chapters—34, I believe. She’s thinking about fate, and about how lucky she always turned out . . . which is very similar to the very, very first chapter, even to the wording, though I didn’t actually mean to do such a thing and I only noticed it later. Anyway, I’m glad you noticed that. <takes a deep breath and reminds herself not to blabber on too much despite the hour>
Lois is stuttering, as bad as Clark ever did.
She’s just better at cover it up, that’s all.
She's telling herself that everything is all right, but she's crying. Because Lois is not all right. It's like she told Superman two chapters ago - the two of them are both wrecks.
But there’s the difference between Lois and Clark. Lois makes things all right because she often refuses to openly recognize how *not* right things are. Clark is more hopeful rather than stubbornness, but no matter how strong the hope, there’s always room for doubt there. Poor guy.
I'm so moved by how she keeps wrapping herself in Superman's cape. Right now, because Superman basically keeps avoiding her, his cape is the best comfort she can find. I feel so sorry for her.
Me too! <sniffles> It really is such a lonely, desperate act. She doesn’t have anyone or anything to comfort her but this old, dirty, torn piece of cloth. Poor girl!
I love it! Of course there would be such a site if Superman had really existed!
<waves> *I’d* be there!
Who can doubt that Lois would find a picture of Superman attractive?
Mmmmmm…
Hmmm. Yes, I can easily imagine that kind of homepage. Better yet, it would list each of Superman's known rescues according to time, place, type of emergency and numbers of people rescued.
…
Ah yes - of course it would be there....
I figure that if he can have such a fandom without being real . . . can you imagine if he *was* real?
Was that when Superman was in the Arctic, watching his Fortress building itself? It had nothing to do with Clark camping outside Lois's door, then? (My own sense of the timeline here is getting a little confused.)
….
No, I guess it was the Fortress thing. Clark waited outside Lois's door after sunset, didn't he?
Clark rescued her around 9, hung around and did 3 rescues during the next 3 or so hours, then took off and worked like mad for about an hour and a half, then took off north with his ship. He’s busy with that for three hours, then comes back and gets back to work. Hope that helps! 
I love how you make me feel Superman's gentleness.
<gives Clark a hug>
Considering how horrified Lois is at the thought that Superman might possibly die during an ordinary rescue, how will she be able to bear watching him do his ordinary hero stuff in the future? Particularly if the two of them get into a relationship?
That’s definitely something that will need to be covered if that bridge is ever come to.
Love the image of how Lois's coffee tastes like ash to her, when she is thinking of the possibility that Superman might die.
I’m glad you appreciate the imagery, Ann!
Oh, I love it! I always loved it when Superman saved cats.
Me too. <she thinks about the earlier chapter “Stray Cats”> <happy, bittersweet sigh> It’s so tiny and simple, but I just love it. It says a lot about him, I think.
Like Lois, I can see how sweet Superman's wave is. But I can also see how pure Lois's love for Superman is, and how it has nothing to do with thoughtless hero worship.
……..
This isn't any kind of shallow hero worship. This is true understanding - yes, even though there is so much that Lois doesn't understand about Superman, this is nevertheless true understanding, as well as wonderful respect and deep love. Lois sees and marvels at how Superman not only rescues people's bodies and lives, but how he keeps giving so many people new hope and keeps lifting up the spirits of others.
………
But Lois understands a lot about the strength of Kal-El's spirit, and she loves him so deeply for it.
Indeed. We, in Lois’s mind, can certainly see that Lois loves him. Even if she doesn’t keep repeating the words to herself, her every thought about him just breathes the realization of how much she really *cares* for him. She knows him, she watches over him, worries over him . . . it all goes to engrave the words: “I love you” on Lois’s thoughts deeper than simple words could ever do.
It is so ironic when Lois is talking about Superman's mask. Yet she isn't totally, totally wrong about what she knows about his mask. She did see him, after all, with every last trace of a mask well and truly off in that white room.
Exactly. <stops herself before saying more>
I find Lois so - I don't know, little-girl moving? - when she will spend hours cleaning her apartment to make it nice enough for Kal-El to pay a visit to it.
And not only will she clean her apartment....
She has bought a new couch! And paid extra to have it delivered in time for Kal-El's arrival, to boot!
I love to see the softie, self-conscious, loving girl come out in hard-hitting Lois Lane. She really isn’t as heartless as she likes to pretend she is, at times.
So moving - she's been with Superman the only way she knows how all morning, never letting her mind wander far from Superman's rescues on the TV screen.
And half of that shows how scared she really is. I think she’s half afraid that if she lets him out of her sight for more than a minute, she might wake up and realize that his return is nothing but her imagination.
In this relatively short space, you use the words "two weeks" no less than six times and the word "since" five times. It's hypnotic. It certainly reinforces how the horror of the white room is with Lois all the time, hardly ever letting go of her.
One thing writing this fic has taught me about writing is the power of line breaks, space, and repetition. I’m glad it worked. I’m always worried that it might get too . . . repetitive . . .
Here the "two weeks" get mentioned for the seventh time. But this whole sentence is so depressingly, painfully ironic. Because while it is true that Lois has been driving herself almost to a mental and physical collapse trying to make sure that the people who tortured Superman in the white room will never get their hands on him again, her utter frustration at Clark Kent may cause exactly what she most wants to avoid - that Lex Luthor and Bureau 39 may indeed capture Superman once again. Because in her frustration at Clark Kent Lois may very well unknowingly tell Superman's enemies precisely that which she wants to make sure they must never learn - namely, how to find Superman again and capture him. I have not forgotten how Lois ranted about Clark to Melinda, and how Melinda was blackmailed to tell someone, probably Luthor, what Lois had told her about Clark Kent.
<pauses to go peer out the blinds into her darkened backyard> Gosh, Ann! You’re going to make me get twitchy and nervous over here!
I so hope that this is true, and that Lois's frustration at Clark Kent won't be the final undoing of Superman.
<crosses fingers>
Oh wow, Rachel. How wonderfully you describe the rain.
It’s funny. It hasn’t rained here for a number of months, since it’s been too cold. But last night when I posted this chapter . . . it started raining. It was slightly odd, but I thought it was pretty cool anyway.
I love this - how Lois turns off the TV before she lets the men with her new couch into her apartment. As if she didn't want to share Superman with anyone. As if she didn't want anyone to know how much Superman means to her.
I love this! Lois the horrible cook is going to treat Kal-El to the fanciest of the frozen dinners she could find at the supermarket!
<giggles>
I love how you make the rain such a powerful presence here, and how strongly it influences Lois. I simply love the haunting, poetic way you describe the rain, too.
Those are the kind of things that are always added that last read through. It’s the last edit that I sit down and try to read it and make myself sit right beside the characters the whole while. And, if you haven’t picked up on it yet . . . I love rain
Wow. I can just hear Clark's friendly voice. But the fact that Clark isn't at home is makes even more - haunting? ominous? sad? - when his "bodyless" voice is heard against the backdrop of the rain, whose presence is so overwhelmingly persistent.
I’m glad you caught the whole sound thing going on there. Brilliant!
This is so moving. Indeed, why is Lois so shaken by the fact that Clark Kent doesn't keep his key under the potted plant outside his door any more? Perhaps because Lois needs to hold on to Clark's trust in the goodness of the world in order to be able to hold on to some measure of hope herself. If not even Clark Kent believes that the world is a good place any more, how can you find the trust you need yourself in order to keep on living?
It’s funny to see how much Lois *knows* without actually *knowing*, if you follow me.
Was it Alcyone who said she didn't like Nietzsche? I agree. The way he defined "Superman" is enough to make you shudder. Another philosopher I personally dislike quite a lot is Aristotle. He regarded women as creatures lower than slaves and as beings that existed solely for the comfort and pleasure of men.
Of course, the fact that Clark Kent has read these books doesn't mean that he has to sympathize with Nietzsche's or Aristotle's views. He might simply be interested in finding out what those views were, and he might very soundly reject them.
My theory exactly. Besides, I’ve always hated those people who throw a book away without ever actually trying to understand why others like it. You don’t have to like it, but I think by *disagreeing* with philosophies, etc., is how I get a firmer idea of what *I* really believe.
Hmmm. Clark Kent read Brothers Karamazov in Russian and wrote comments in the margins in Russian. I really like it.
Hehee. Nerd moment there. I couldn’t help it.
Oh, so funny! And can't we sympathize?
How did you know I was thinking of all the “books” *I* read on the internet? Lol. Isn’t it so true, though? It’s sad how little recognition fanfiction gets in the real world, but we can still enjoy it anyway, even if we hide it behind our copies of Shakespeare (like I do
)
Oh, so exquisitely lovely. I read The Scarlet Pimpernel long, long ago, and in Swedish. I don't remember much of it, except that I did love the story. I loved the hero's secret identity and double life, too. I actually don't remember this wonderful description of the hero's love for his wife - a love that he seems quite unable to really show to her. Oh, how poignantly fitting it is that Clark Kent, the man who is secretly the hero and who can't show his loved one what he feels for her, should love this book, too.
Aaarrghh! It's so painful that Lois understands that Superman may indeed have been reading this very book, this very physical copy of The Scarlet Pimpernel, Clark Kent's own personal copy and one of his favorite stories... and yet she can't see that Superman and Clark Kent are one and the same person.
Yeah, Lois! It doesn’t matter if Superman has touched it or not. *Clark* has touched it. So gimme here! <grabs for the book> (Wow. It must be getting late . . . )
Please, Lois. Please understand what Clark's mom is saying here. She is asking her son to "be careful out there" and not "overdo it" - and you have just spent hours and hours watching TV and listening radio reports about Superman performing all kinds of rescues.
Ann! You’re not supposed to be telling Lois that!
Hehee
There is something about the fact that Lois is going crazy over Clark Kent that moves me so. Lois has no idea that her utter frustration about Clark Kent may already have caused her to do what she wants to avoid most in the whole world - it may have caused her to betray Superman. And Clark doesn't realize that his own secret identity game with Lois is indeed driving Lois crazy and may be causing her to unknowingly give his secret away.
<peers over shoulder suspiciously> Hm . . .
I absolutely love those voices in Lois's head.
Me too. Their jolly fun to talk to when a class is passing too slowly. Lol.
Amazing. Wonderful. Lois's doubts and self-recrimination and her guilt at belittling Clark Kent are warring with her still strong, well, belittling of him, as well as with her need to take comfort in her belief that Clark Kent really is just a naïve, trusting farm boy (and therefore the world is still a place you can believe in).
In your own words, Ann: “Think, Lois! Think!” She clearly knows more than she is letting herself realize, and it’s *that* which is driving Lois crazy!
Wow. The way you write this. The way you make Lois admit to herself that yes, indeed, Clark Kent is one of a kind, he is absolutely wonderful, but she has been treating him awfully, and he might just have had enough of her.
Hopefully that realization will help her shape up a bit towards him, eh?
What? Lois's guilt makes her throw away the pictures she has taken of Clark's things in a public trash can. I have a bad feeling about this. What if someone else finds the pictures and takes a good look at them?
Oh, Lois! The way you keep doing things that put Superman at risk! Just because you so stubbornly refuse to understand who Superman is!
Thus the dangers of miscommunication. I don’t think we can blame either Lois or Clark, even at this point, but the consequences are still there.
[QUOTE]Oh, groan. Lois, please understand that Clark and Superman are more than just alike. /QUOTE]
Lol. Sorry, Ann. I know it drives you crazy, but I just can’t help it!
And I am sooo glad to hear more from you! To tell you the truth, a big reason I didn’t reply earlier is because I didn’t know what to say exactly to your points about Clark not telling Lois, because for all intents and purposes—he *should* have told her right away. There’s no defense for him. It’s not a rational decision, but just something he does out of the plain, simple humanity of his naturally imperfect mind, and Clark’s confidence was so shaken that he didn’t feel comfortable doing *anything*--least of all with Superman. But when I finally figured out what I was going to write, I come back to find that you had already said everything I wanted to say, and probably better than I could have said it, if that makes sense. That’s what I love about your reviews!
Anyway, it is faaar past my bedtime, but I enjoyed going through this review again anyway. But with your most amazing review (as always) you deserve the extra time. Valar, they are so amazing! I need to print them out, bind them, and make a book called “Ann’s Reviews.” More than just flatter me, they actually make me think and force me into expanding and exploring my plot and the characters just a little deeper. Don’t underestimate your influence on this, seriously!
Thanks again, Ann! I hope you have a great day!
<staggers off to bed>
SmirkyRaven
