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#39632 02/25/07 06:38 AM
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ShayneT Offline OP
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We're in the home stretch now. Let me know what tyou think!

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Hack from Nowheresville
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Hack from Nowheresville
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I feel like I'm on a roller coaster in the dark--all these twists and turns and I haven't seen any of them coming! Wow!

I'm sorry I haven't commented on the last few parts--life's been busy.

At any rate, here are some comments/observations on the three most recent chapters of a terrific story.

1. I'm really surprised Martha never told Lois about Clark/Superman. Surely she could have trusted her with the secret, especially after Clark was dead.

2. I love how you play up the "my younger self is an idiot" idea, then give a plausible explanation for it--she's trying to help her grandmother.

3. What a great scene with Lois and Clark on the couch. smile All those years of anguish are definitely coming out here. Of course, now it's Lois who is completely sure of her feelings and Clark who doesn't know what to make of anything.

4. I love the idea of the older and younger versions of Lois battling for control. On one hand, young Lois has every right to her own life. However, the reader easily identifies with the older Lois' plight. It really brings up all sorts of philosophical questions about the nature of self...very intriguing. Plus, the line about Lois being her own "other woman" is terrific.

5. Poor Clark. He's obviously in love, yet they're doing the friends bit again. I'm very curious to find out what's really been going on with them in the three years since Lois' last appearance.

6. Since she's changed the future, why hasn't her memory shifted? Is she linked to a particular moment in time, an newly created alternate universe, etc.?

7. TEMPUS! mad I should have known it was him! I'm still not sure I "get" his plan, but I'm looking forward to seeing it foiled once again!

Excellent work!


"Women frustrate men because they're too complicated. Men frustrate women because they're not complicated enough."
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Merriwether
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Merriwether
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Ah, crud. Not Tempus. Come on, Lois, beat him!


"You need me. You wouldn't be much of a hero without a villain. And you do love being the hero, don't you. The cheering children, the swooning women, you love it so much, it's made you my most reliable accomplice." -- Lex Luthor to Superman, Question Authority, Justice League Unlimited
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J
Merriwether
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Merriwether
J
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Wow, what a ride! You've kept me on the edge of my seat in every part. Will Lois be able to stop him Tempus? Can't wait to find out.

Jackie


Superman: I hear you've been looking for me.
Lois: All my life.
Joined: Aug 2006
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Beat Reporter
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Ooh, Tempus I should have known. mad I cant wait to see what happens now. clap
Kate laugh


Come on Lois you havent said a word since 1866!

Thanks for the avatar, Hana.
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Features Writer
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Truthfully, most of the twists and turns that Shane has taken in this story have taken me by surprise, but Tempus has been just about the only thing that I did expect (after reading the mention of Templeton in an earlier part)! You're doing a terrific job, as always, Shane, and I'm really enjoying this. I'm trying to figure out what is going to happen next... eek

Kathy


"Our thoughts form the universe. They always matter." - Babylon 5
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
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Aw, I lost my post because my internet blows, but I am loving this story! Of course Templeton is Tempus; don't know why I didn't see that earlier!

Keep it up!
JD


"Meg...who let you back in the house?" -Family Guy
Joined: Feb 2006
Posts: 144
Hack from Nowheresville
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Hack from Nowheresville
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Quote
“That’s all she is to you…just a body to take over when you want!” Clark said. “She’s a person with feelings too. She hated having you butting into her life. There wasn’t a day that she didn’t dread your coming back.”
It´s good to hear something about the feelings of young Lois regarding her older self. How would we feel if we were taken over by an older self? It´s really interesting.

Quote
“A recruiter from Metropolis University got me an even better deal than I had at Midwestern. Also, Lois tipped me and my family off about investing in Lexcorp and Nanosoft. Wow…those stocks are amazing.”
Nanosoft? rotflol

Quote
“Call me by my real name.” He said. “Tempus.”
shock Wow. I didn´t see that one coming!

Quote
“Oh right…the version of you who knew me by that name is gone forever.” Tempus grinned. “I erased her with that.”
Noooo! Will she - in her younger self - without knowing what she´s dealing with, be able to defeat Tempus?

Please, don´t leave me hanging on this cliff for too long! grovel

Joined: Jul 2003
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Blogger
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Blogger
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Shayne, I don't post often but had to after this episode. I am really enjoying this story and its twists and turns. I must admit I was thinking Luthor all the time and never saw Tempus coming. I'm just wondering if, when this is all over, we will return to the original timeline and Lois won't remember any of it especially that Clark is Superman. After all Tempus did tell her he had interrupted the original timeline.
Quote
“In the original timeline, he managed to escape on his own. Used his cape to grab the key, which was left in plain sight. But I changed everything, and it was so easy…Of all the places in his life, this was the easiest place to change it all. No big schemes or elaborate traps. No sticking my neck out…All I had to do was pick up a key and wave it at him. The irony appealed to me. Killed by his own biography, written by Lois Lane.”
Keep up the excellent work, I can't wait for the next chapter.
Annette


~aks
"Reading gives us someplace to go when we have to stay where we are." - Mason Cooley

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