Rac, since I'm pressed for time as usual, and since I loved Terry's feedback, I'm going to quote pretty much all of his feedback and comment on that. (Thanks, Terry!)
Great chapter, Rac! I love you you've captured the ambience of the courtroom, the ebb and flow of the dueling attorneys using the witnesses as weapons to bludgeon each other. And Clark did manage to respond in a manner which preserves both his dignity and the public's perception of his ability to do his job while relating the horrors he was forced to undergo.
I absolutely agree! The courtroom scene was excellently done, not least "the ebb and flow" of the proceedings. I loved how you showed us Clark fighting against his wish to give in to his emotions. In the end, when he did give in to them after all, it was incredibly effective:
"You had every reason to twist my client's political opposition to your leadership into these scurrilous charges, didn't you?"
"No," Clark replied, trying desperately to keep his voice steady. He closed his eyes. It was almost over. He just needed to get through this. Then he could go home. He could be with Lois again. He needed to do this so he could finally keep his promise to her.
"Your client's opposition to my leadership was hardly limited to the political. He had me shot, thrown in chains, and nearly starved to death. He personally beat me unconscious so many times I can't remember them all. And he threatened to kill me. Over and over again." By the time he finished, his voice was barely above a whisper, but it didn't matter. The entire courtroom was silent. Every pair of eyes was focused on him.
You make us feel Clark's anguish, Rac. And you definitely made the entire courtroom feel it, in a way that was not unseemly and did not damage Clark's dignity or the legal usefulness of his testimony.
Well, back to Terry's feedback:
And Lois's diary/journal/article/confession/communique was wonderful! You've presented her as a woman who has been on the brink of complete breakdown for quite some time, but since she's found this outlet for her pent-up frustration I think she may be okay. Everyone needs at least one release valve (I know I use fanfic at times) and committing her worst pain to paper (virtually speaking) should work for Lois.
Can't say that I use fanfic to get rid of my frustrations, but otherwise I love how Terry put this, and I couldn't agree more. Writing down everything she feels, bombarding the poor sheet of paper and/or computer screen with her blackest, angriest feelings, should do so much to help Lois put things in perspective. Writing everything down will always be a relief, and knowing she hasn't burdened Martha and Jonathan with the full brunt of her anger and frustration will feel so good, too. And if she dares to read what she herself has written, she will get a clearer idea of what she really needs to talk about and try to solve, probably with the help of others, and which of her reactions are merely gripings, so that she needs to get over them.
Thanks for the snapshot (pun intended) of Jimmy. He's grown, he's matured, and he's taking care of his own business now. He should be around twenty-five or so by now, so his continued maturity is a natural step.
I, too, loved that part with Jimmy. The portrait of Jimmy itself is quite moving, how this extremely good but previously very young and somewhat childish boy has grown into a caring, compassionate, insightful young man.
I loved this:
On the page was one photograph, larger than the others, and centered. It was her, sitting on the porch swing, her eyes closed, holding her sleeping toddler in her arms. His cheek was pillowed on her shoulder, her hand cradling the back of his head.
This reminds me of our Western culture's iconical images of tender motherhood: it might have been a photograph of the madonna and the child.
(My only complaint is this:
"They're beautiful," she whispered reverently. The black and white photos of her son
Black and white? No! I fail to see how the removal of colour can make a picture better or more beautiful.)
Back to Terry's feedback again:
Clark's examination of his wedding ring was so insightful. He saw the ring as still strong, still powerful, still his tie to home, yet it's damaged and scarred, much as Clark himself is. He's got to wonder just how badly damaged their relationship is, and how hard they'll have to work to repair it, and just how much Lois is willing to work with him.
I love how Terry sees Clark's somewhat battered wedding ring as a metaphor for the state of his relationship with Lois. But instead of focusing on the scratched surface of the ring, I prefer to see that the ring is, indeed, still strong, as Terry put it. The essence of it is undamaged:
Its inscription – 'I have loved you from the beginning' – was still clear despite the slightly weathered condition of the metal.
I see this ring as very hopeful. Yes, the surface of Clark and Lois's relationship
has been permanently scratched and nicked. Lois and Clark will not be able to just pick up their relationship where they left it. But the essence of their love
is undamaged.
Well, up until now I have quoted
all of Terry's feedback. Unlike Terry, however, I hope that the third part of this trilogy will
not be a true angst-fest!
Thanks for providing me with so much structure and well-put thought for my feedback, Terry, and thank you for a great chapter, Rac!
Ann
