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Top Banana
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OP
Top Banana
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Well this part sure does clear up a lot of stuff. It essentially sets up an alternate beginning with some backfilled story. I like it a lot! She cough violently again before continuing. "Had someone come back to get his money. I guess you weren't scary enough, Kansas. " Knowing that she had only a moment left, her eyes grew very sad. "You know, I wish I could have really been Lena for you. If I could have loved ... anyone... it would..."
But she expired before she could finish. Tears were running down Clark's face freely, and he cradled her in his arms, oblivious to the blood. She may have lied to him, but she didn't deserve this. He had left her here, unprotected, never thinking about the danger she could have been in. How sad! Bring out the tissues. My only complaint is that I'll have to wait for the next part. Post more soon, please!
-- Roger
"The Constitution only gives people the right to pursue happiness. You have to catch it yourself." -- Benjamin Franklin
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
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Hi, Wow! Great part.
Maria D. Ferdez. --- Don't like Luthor, unfinished, untitled and crossover story, and people that promises and don't deliver. I'm getting choosy with age. MAF
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Hack from Nowheresville
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Hack from Nowheresville
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I absolutely love the way this left off!
Great part - more soon please!
You must be the change you wish to see in the world.
- Mahatma Gandhi
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Top Banana
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Top Banana
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Ditto the others..that last line had me cracking up. GO for him Lois! I really like this story and I'm looking forward to more! ~Liz
Lois: Can I go? Clark: No. Lois: Oh come on, Clark, why do we go through this? We both know I’m going to go. Clark: Then why do you ask? Lois: I’m trying to be nice.
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Merriwether
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Merriwether
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What they said! This is really good, and getting better! Keep it coming!
Do you know the most surprising thing about divorce? It doesn't actually kill you, like a bullet to the heart or a head-on car wreck. It should. When someone you've promised to cherish till death do you part says, "I never loved you," it should kill you instantly.
- Under the Tuscan Sun
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
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Taivas WOW! This is wonderful. I'm enjoying this immensely and look forward to reading the next part. Tricia
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Freelance Reporter
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Freelance Reporter
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I'm going to quote the same line here: Lois looked to the ceiling and whispered, "Please God, I promise, if he's not married, engaged, or an idiot, I'll start attending church regularly again." Clark's not married, not engaged...as for not being an idiot, well, we all know what a lunkhead he can be, don't we? But I digress. More soon please! --meclone2--
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
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"Please God, I promise, if he's not married, engaged, or an idiot, I start attending church regularly again." ROTFLMAO! Laura
Clark: “If we can be born in an instant, and die in an instant, why can’t we fall in love in an instant?”
Caroline's "Stardust"
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Blogger
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Blogger
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Thank you for your comments. I didn't realize that people would like that lastline so much, I kind of threw it in at the last second.
Part Five is halfway done, so I hope to have it out soon.
-- Taivas
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Features Writer
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Features Writer
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Taivas wonderful part ditto others more soon please merry
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Beat Reporter
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Beat Reporter
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Wow, how did I miss this? I won't bother quoting the last line, since everyone else already did. But Taivas, you should definitely throw in more lines at the last second. As others have said, I'm fascinated by the role reversal here. Lois is more confident and less scarred. Clark is more confident re his reporting abilities (at least, I get that impression) and his role as Clark (better clothes, at least!), but much less so in his role as Supes. Sooo, they'd met before in the Congo! It's going to be fun to have them work around that - consciously for Clark as Clark, and Lois around Superman. I can tell this is still going to be great fun! Two questions for you, Taivas. Thanks for your clarifications in the comments folder of the last section, but I'm still unclear as to why the tabloids in Metropolis haven't yet dubbed Clark with some moniker. He's clearly been around for a few weeks, so why is he still being called "the superhero" or "that guy"? *Someone* must have come up with *something* before Lois' brainstorm! And that leads to question two: why did Clark wait so long to apply at the DP? Was he just trying to make up his mind whether or not to stay in Metropolis? This is one of the most enjoyable elseworlds I've read in a long time, Taivas, so give us MORE, soon! Hazel
Lois: You know the deal. Clark: Superman gets the guys in capes, Lois and Clark get the guys in suits.
-- Action Comics 827
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Kerth
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Kerth
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Good part!
"Practice up your shielding spells...and remember to duck if you see green light coming your way." Harry Potter to Wizengamot in OotP trial A Bad Week in the Wizengamot
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Blogger
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Blogger
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Thank you again for the comments, it's helps me know if I left anything out in my writing. It's my first attempt at this, so I probably need all the help I can get Hazel I saw your questions: Originally posted by Hazel: Two questions for you, Taivas. Thanks for your clarifications in the comments folder of the last section, but I'm still unclear as to why the tabloids in Metropolis haven't yet dubbed Clark with some moniker. He's clearly been around for a few weeks, so why is he still being called "the superhero" or "that guy"? *Someone* must have come up with *something* before Lois' brainstorm!
And that leads to question two: why did Clark wait so long to apply at the DP? Was he just trying to make up his mind whether or not to stay in Metropolis? Hazel [/QB] I tried to be subtle when explaining those things so here goes: Why he didn't settle in Metropolis at this point in the story: (From Part 1) He still hadn’t settled on what to do in the next couple of weeks about living arrangements. He had been so busy the last month playing superhero, that he had neglected his writing. Staying in Metropolis for this long was not in his plans, but the city seemed to cry out for help. Being the largest city in the world, it naturally had more that its fair share of crime and disasters.
Normally he liked to spread his time out among many places in the world, never staying in one place for too long. Not only so he could share his abilities around the world, but he didn’t want to stay in one spot too long and be recognized by anyone. So Clark hadn't planned on spending a lot of time in Metropolis, he just kind of got stuck here. On his name up until Lois names him at the end of Part 4 I wrote (again in Part 1) Though he really needed to give some thought to giving himself a name when he was in the suit. A variety of names had been assigned to him around the world, but even after all the good he had done, there were still many people nervous about him because of his distant and mysterious nature. I probably should have thrown in a couple of references to some of the names the other papers had assigned to him, or referred to him as. I think I will fix that if I ever rewrite this. Thanks Hazel Thanks all, Taivas
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Beat Reporter
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Beat Reporter
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Taivas, thanks again for your clarifications. I don't think you need to re-emphasize Clark's first days in Metropolis; after all, once this wonderful story hits the archive, the reader will be getting it all at once. Chalk it up to my faulty memory forgetting what was in the first section. I do think, though, that it might be fun if you added in a few (ridiculous?) names that the tabloids dubbed Clark. Lois' is different, of course, because Clark is going to accept it. Right? BTW, you wrote: I think I will fix that if I ever rewrite this. Good grief! You weren't planning on just leaving it, were you? Of course this story has to hit the archive! It's already in my folder for Best Elseworld next year. MORE soon, okay? Hazel
Lois: You know the deal. Clark: Superman gets the guys in capes, Lois and Clark get the guys in suits.
-- Action Comics 827
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