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#29743 05/07/06 04:10 AM
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Another brilliant part, Sara. I love how you force me to stop and think before I really understand what is going on. Like in the beginning, Lois glares at her coffee, and - it starts to bubble??? What? How? Oh - right - heat vision, and out-of-control heat vision, too! I love it that you didn't just tell us that the coffee started boiling, because Lois just noticed that the coffee was bubbling, and she was as momentarily lost as I was. Brilliant! (And I loved it that Lois poured the boiling coffee into the potted plant. That must be the first time ever I've seen Lois throw away coffee! And poor plant! Lois, how are you going to explain what happened to it?)

And I loved the way Lois was trying to write the article about Superman putting out the fire in Hobbs Bay. I loved all her furious typos - "Spuper-" and "Hobbs Bat" were my two favorites. The really interesting thing about what Lois was trying to write, however, was that she couldn't bring herself to even write down the word "Superman". Whenever she tried to do that, she got lost, furious and distracted again.

Well, I guessed last time that you'd make Lois see how difficult it really is to be superpowered, so that she'd feel more empathy with Clark. I had expected, however, that you'd make Lois carry out a rescue or two. But there is none of that here, but instead all those scary and inconvenient little freak-things like breaking off all door knobs she touched, or involutarily X-raying Perry's polka-dotted boxers. (LOL! lol That was adorable!!!) And, not least, being so scared, being scared of being caught, of being found out, and being scared of being dissected like a frog.

You really made Lois see a some important things about Clark in this part, Sara. I loved the photos, particularly the one that Clark wasn't really showing, or rather, he had it stapled behind another one so that people wouldn't see it by accident if they happened to find the two pictures. But he had brought it to work so that he could look at it. That was so hugely interesting. And Lois saw what she had never paid enough attention to to see before: that Clark's eyes and face simply shone with love for her. I wasn't going to quote much here, or at all, but I guess I must quote that little photo description:
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And the photo... was stapled to another one. She flipped it over and instantly felt like somebody had dealt her a blow to the solar plexus.

The self-timer... he'd been trying out the self-timer, she'd been teasing him so much about his bashfulness in front of the camera. She'd wrapped her arms around his neck, laughing up into his face as the tips of his ears turned red.

She looked at it. Her grin was wide and impish, her eyes dancing, comfortable in the embrace of her best friend. And he... he was looking down at her with such emotion in his dark eyes and his bright smile, such... depths of feeling. She couldn't think why she had never noticed it before.
What do they say, Sara? *hearts*?

And the text goes on, and becomes no less interesting:
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Never noticed it before. But then she couldn't have, could she? He'd never shown it to her before. He'd obviously seen how obviously... he looked, and had hidden it.
*hearts* again, I think. But *curiosity* too. Because where had he hidden it?

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In his *drawer? His desk drawer?

She felt a sudden pang. He'd taken it to work with him...
This is so hugely interesting. Clark loves Lois and wants Lois to love him. Here he's snapped a picture of himself and Lois that speaks volumes of his own love for her. And he brings it to work so that he can look at it every day at work. But he has never shown it to Lois? Clark, if you want her to love you, why can't you show her your true feelings for her? And why can't you show her your true self?

You know, Sara, the thing I dislike most about Clark, hands down, is the way he's lying to Lois while at the same time trying to have a relationship with her. I think, bottom line, that this is unforgivable. Or at the very least, that it is so, so wrong. Seems to me you must choose between being a good guy and being a pathetic liar, because you can't be both at the same time.

And I hate it - hate it!! - when he's trying to justify those lies. You know, when he says that he lied to her to protect her. Or when he's saying, like you make him do, that he had to lie to her because he was afraid of losing her entirely if he told her the truth. Or when he is blaming her for forcing him to lie to her, because she is so shallow that she'd have loved him for all the wrong reasons if she'd known the truth about him. And I hate it when he says that he is really just plain old ordinary Clark Kent, and Superman is not who he is at all. Every time he says something like that, I want to yell at him or shake him.

And it's so interesting to see fanfic writers try to explain this lying Clark Kent. Many of them apparently side with Clark and say that it really was Lois's fault in the end. Fortunately, though, you don't give us such an unsatisfactory explanation. I was so fascinated, and also moved, by this:

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He couldn't sit there with her when his head was spinning like a merry-go-round. He couldn't be so close to her, let her see who he was, when he didn't really know himself.
Fantastic, Sara. You show us a Clark Kent who is not crazy, but who nevertheless suffers from a rather severe case of split personality. I'm thinking of those documented cases of people with multiple personalities. People with this kind of psychiatric condition compulsively compartmentalize their personalities. They don't know how to be a whole person. Isn't that what we see in Clark? If I'm getting you correctly, plain-old-Clark is Clark Kent's dominant personality, but superhero-Superman regularly, inexorably, takes over. When that happens, plain-old-Clark can offer Lois nothing more than lame excuses and maddening absences. When the crisis has been dealt with, plain-old-Clark comes back and wants to resume his plain-old-life with Lois as if nothing has happened.

And maybe he can't talk about his double identity because it is really a case of split personality, and he doesn't feel comfortable with this psychiatric condition of his? And he is just so scared that anybody will find out? Being found out about this is as bad as being outed as Superman to the world, and being brought to a lab and dissected like a frog? Maybe these two revelations amount to the same thing to him? Panic, loss of self? Somehow utter defeat?

In some ways, you have shown us Clark as the scaredy-cat in this story and Lois as the tenacious bulldog. It was Lois, after all, who ultimately went in search of Clark after they couldn't find a way to reconnect after Clark had "died". And whatever happened at the cemetery, I think it's fair to say that it was Lois who was the driving force there. Here in this chapter, you show us how Clark hands in his notice rather than fight for his love. He doesn't come to work, so Lois leaves the Daily Planet - admittedly partly so that she won't have to look at Perry's polka-dotted boxers - and comes home to Clark. Finally, in the end of this chapter, Clark wants to fly away in sheer panic rather than talk to Lois, and it's only Lois's determination that makes him stay.

But Clark has many reasons to be afraid, and Lois is beginning to understand many of them, when she has to deal with having superpowers herself.

Fantastic, Sara. The complexities of this story are wonderful. And all your wonderful imagery certainly sticks in my mind, too. I think my favorite this time was Lois's "pulsing soul". How perfect. Wow.

Looking forward to the conclusion of this brilliant story!

Ann

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Oh wow . . . /me drops to knees and prays for the gift of FDK-ing so she can give the story the proper adoration it's due.

I loved the argument between Lois and Clark, particularly, how she managed to turn it around on him. *Very* clever logic--really liked that.

And . . . my brain is giving up on FDK-ing for the moment. I'll leave the detailed fdk to the experienced ones, like TOC above there. (g)


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HUGE part. It's amazing the way Lois has to come to terms with all the scary parts that come with Clark's powers.

And then there's this:

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He couldn't sit there with her when his head was spinning like a merry-go-round. He couldn't be so close to her, let her see who he was, when he didn't really know himself.
Brilliant. When you have to hide who you are for so long, do you even know who you still are when you finally get the chance to let it out?

JD


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Wow this is really great! Laura


Clark: “If we can be born in an instant, and die in an instant, why can’t we fall in love in an instant?”

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Aww, thanks for the credit. I don't think I did that much, but glad to help. smile

Great job with the edits, though. And, of course, with the original part.

I love the paragraph about the box under Lois's bed. That'd just beautiful.

Taking the picture... Really WAFFy. Wonderful touch.

"pulsing soul." I still don't know what that means, exactly, but I still love it.

lol about the X-ray vision! Poor Lois...

... Then again, it does have its advantages, at times. The key, Lois, is to X-ray the right people...

Speaking of which... poor young Clark!

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"What could you *possibly* need that's more important than this?" he bawled after her as she raced towards the stairwell.

<Clark.>
Woo! Love this, too. It wasn't what she was originally thinking, but it's so much more true.

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"Your *dad*?" Her eyes were incredulous - probably trying to reconcile the image of Jonathan Kent, Kindly Small-town Farmer, with the image of Jonathan Kent, Paranoid Parent with Debatable Methods of Preaching his Beliefs to his Only Son.
You know, it's not often that Clark's parents are included in the revelation shock, but I love it when they are. And this is just really well done.

(Hee. Roald Dahl. laugh )

(Perry's boxers. laugh )

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She shook her head. "How did you manage it?" she asked, her voice a whisper. "I saw the LNN footage of that... and of you. You looked... destroyed. How did you come into work after that? How did you not... fall apart?"

"These," he said softly, and reached over to pick up his glasses. "I hid behind these."
So not what I was expecting him to say, yet so right...

And the scene that follows it... Who Clark is, what Superman is, what they showed Lois, etc... Familliar territory, but you have this fresh way with it. I don't know how you do it, but I'm glad you do!

And then, just as we seem to be settling into a familiar groove... *pow* Kryptonian soul mates telepathy! Brilliant! It's out of nowhere, but it makes so much sense, and it cuts through so much potential... stuff, and... brilliant!

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"There's nothing out there." Her voice sad. "Sit down. You're not getting out of this."

He looked at her, his jaw hanging open.

"Sit!"

He sat.
Good Clark! Now roll over! Okay, Lois, scratch his tummy...

Sorry.

But... wow. I am so looking forward to seeing more of this. (What do you mean, there may only be one more part?? *pout*)

Paul


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WOW...this is one of the best things I've read in a good long while. The emotion, the sadness, the desperateness...

You have both characters down perfectly and I feel so intensely for both of them because they are both hurting and at a loss as to what to do about it.

I love the telepathy angle. It's going to be very difficult for them to guard themselves when it's obvious they feel so deeply for one another. I can't wait to see where this is going! Keep it up!


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Wow! that was awesome. clap
I loved how the telepathy kicked in clap
And then Clark's excuses
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//Hmm... fire? Building collapse? Terrorist strike? Bank robbery? ... giant asteroid heading for Clinton Avenue? ...//
rotflol

Oh and this was great too
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"There are some things that I'd be... so much healthier not knowing, you realise that?"

"Such as?"

"Such as... Perry wears polka-dotted boxers!" she blurted, and clapped her hand over her mouth as her cheeks deepened even further.

A shocked bark of laughter escaped his throat before he could choke it back, and she glared.
Poor Lois blush


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smile1 Well, not so cool if you don't want the other know all your thoughts, expecially when Lois doesn't know what to think about their relationship right now!
Probably speaking about 'uncomfortable' situation is an understatement!
I can't wait to read how you're going to fix this difficult moment!

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Sara

This is amazing. Beautifully written! smile1 Please post the next part soon.

Tricia cool

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Really marvelous.

When do we get the next part? hyper


I do know you, and I know you wouldn't lie... at least to me...most of the time...
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Yes, please, Sara. I, too, am eager for more!

Ann

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Please, Sara. Give us part five of this. Pretty please?

Ann

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Gah... I'm so sorry for keeping you all waiting like this, guys frown I saw the thread topic just now and it was like a douse of icy water!

I'm sorry to say that part 5 is going to be a little while more in coming frown I've been landed in the middle of some family stuff, and at the moment I'm trying my hardest to prepare someone for a round of exams [in fact, I shouldn't even be doing this], so I haven't been able to wrap it up properly yet peep

I'm hoping to get a break sometime next week, though, so I'll have it out to everybody as soon as I possibly can - and I'm so sorry to everybody for appearing to bail like this frown The story is so nearly done that it's driving me nuts, but as soon as I get some time to myself I'll be able to finish it off. Any day now.

My sincerest apologies, again!

Sara


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Please don't apologize Sorcha and take your time but I thought this was scary good.
When I started reading the installment section I assumed that L&C fanfic had had it's glory days so it's was amazing to stumble upon Caroline's and your stories in progress the first time I went over it, both stories IMO in line with the best that was ever written.(Considering what exists in the archive that just blew me away.)
Well you did write "Made to be broken" so that is hardly surprising, but I didn't know your alias then.

Anyway..next part? smile1


I do know you, and I know you wouldn't lie... at least to me...most of the time...

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