Chapter 3: ApologyClark looked up as Jonathan thundered down the steps.
"Hey, Dad. Mr. Cushing asked me to come in early today, so I'll be back around 3."
"Okay. Do you have time for breakfast?" Clark asked.
"Sorry, I think I should grab a breakfast bar and run," Jon said apologetically.
"Okay. I'll see you at 3 then," Clark said, lightly tossing him an oatmeal one.
Jon smiled and headed out before Clark heard Jordan hesitantly go down the stairs.
Taking a sip of his coffee, Clark really wished Lois was up, but then, perhaps this would be a good opportunity?
Jordan shuffled into the kitchen, his head down.
Clark put his mug aside, deciding to give Jordan the chance to initiate things.
Jordan inched to the table before tentatively sitting down. He risked a glance up.
"Um. I, uh." Jordan looked down at his hands. "I shouldn't have done what I did yesterday. None of it. Especially the last thing. I'm . . . I'm sorry."
Clark stared at him, knowing the 'last thing' Jordan was referring to was when Jordan had lashed out at him with his powers. Clark could not recall ever being more emotionally hurt by someone he loved than in that moment.
"I promise, I'll
never do anything like that again. I don't know why I did that . . . or the other stuff," he whispered, now looking up at him earnestly. "But I was wrong. I was beyond stupid."
"I'm glad to hear what you're saying, but what brought this about?" Clark asked, allowing his hearing to extend, to hear Jordan's whole being. "Last night, you were extremely unapologetic."
Jordan winced. "Something Jon said."
Clark blinked. "Jonathan said something?"
"Last night. It just made me think, which is something I realize I haven’t been doing lately. I’ve actually been avoiding it.” He looked back down, deflated.
Clark nodded slowly. “I can see you really mean what you’re saying and I accept your apology. However, while I’m glad you’ve decided to really begin thinking again, Jordan, it’s going to take a great deal of time and effort for you to earn back the privileges and trust you've lost.”
Jordan sighed, resigned. “Yeah, I get it.”
Clark stood up and went around the table before clasping his hand on his son’s shoulder and locking eyes with him. “I know how it feels to have your heart broken, and, as I’ve told you before, I know how intense emotions can be, but you can’t let them rule you. Unfair or not, for you and me, this is even more important to remember. As you know, we can do a lot of damage before we even realize. . . .” He trailed off gravely, glancing at Jordan's hand.
The same hand that had caused damage before.
Jordan flinched as he remembered what he had done to Jonathan’s hand and arm because he had tried to punch a bully in the face. Knowing what he knew now, he knew Jonathan had likely saved that kid’s life. Jordan fought back tears, true and deep realization dawning. His dad was right.
Clark went on. “Sometimes when people are hurt, they lash out or seek ways to smother what they’re feeling, but when you do that, it doesn’t help anything and you end up just hurting yourself more, not to mention other people.”
Jordan nodded shakily. “I get that now. It’s just . . . it was easier to do.”
Clark smiled sadly, understandingly. “In the short term, it definitely is.”
Jordan exhaled, knowing what Clark was getting at. “But easier doesn’t mean right.”
“Right. But I will tell you something. Really wanting to help people, wanting to make a difference in the world – if that’s your true north – making the right decision will become easier and easier, and you’ll discover that all the other stuff . . . attention, glory . . . you don’t need any of it.”
“I know,” Jordan said half-heartedly.
“I hope you do, because seeking attention is addictive, and like most addictions, it easily becomes destructive and eventually escalates to the point where you can never get enough. The craving is never sated. And for this . . . if people were to discover our secret, especially right now, a lot of things would change, and not for the better. Much of our time would be devoted to keeping an eye out for threats and protecting our family, Jordan. We wouldn’t have time to do much else. I don’t want that for our family, especially if it came about due to you or Jonathan seeking attention,” Clark said. "Fame almost always ruins the lives of the famous. As I told you and Jon, I saw that on the alternate earth.”
Jordan bit his lip, and Clark saw he was finally, truly beginning to get it.
"One day, the world will find out the truth. It's inevitable. But I want it to happen when we're ready, and when the world is ready. We’re not there yet,” Clark said.
“I-I’m sorry. I wasn’t thinking,” Jordan breathed, closing his eyes and realizing what his actions could have brought to them all.
What they still could if someone looked closely enough.
Jordan felt tears burn behind his eyes.
His actions had risked so much. And for what? His ego?
He had been so petty.
Clark stepped back, knowing there was nothing more to be said on the topic and Jordan needed space.
“I’ll talk with your mother about everything when she wakes up. In the meantime, think about what you want to do this summer. Something that can be your thing, just like how Jonathan has the firehouse.”
Jordan took a deep breath and quickly wiped away his tears. “Okay, Dad.”
“Good.” Clark gave his shoulder a squeeze before Jordan leaned in for a hug.
They embraced and relief swallowed them both for a long moment.
Clark pulled back. “So, eggs?”
Jordan smiled nervously. “Sunny side up?”
“Heat vision style?” Clark asked, going to the stove.
Jordan blinked, confused. “Heat vision style?”
Clark grinned. “The best way to cook an egg.”
“Okay, sure,” Jordan said, relaxing.
Clark turned away and got to work, feeling much better than he had in a long time.
Everything was going to be okay.
~The End~
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