Am I the one to start this comment thread, too? Well, Sara, Dave, and others, let me start by thanking everybody for telling me not to be afraid of this brilliant story!!!
The first chapter of this story was so
amazing. It was amazing because it didn't make sense intellectually to me, which is to say I couldn't figure out what had happened. But it did make the most exquisite sense emotionally. I was inside Lois's head, finding myself on board a roller coaster of grief, hurt and confusion. It was like having the floor pulled away from me, not understanding where it had gone, but clearly understanding the feeling of tumbling helplessly down, falling and falling and falling....
This second chapter did a lot to clear up what had actually happened, where the floor had gone and so on. Clark had died, yes, and he had come back safe and sound, yes. But then he hadn't called for a week, not come and seen her once, not talked to her. And they hadn't been working that week, so they hadn't seen each other at work, either. And Lois understood it: It didn't matter that he was back, if he was not back as her friend. If he was not back as the bedrock of her existence. The way he seemed to have ignored her was what was driving her into grief and confusion, literally driving her mad. And it was this apparent cold shoulder from his side that made her question everything about the way she had behaved towards him. And when she took a cold hard look at what she had done, what she had said, she was literally losing it. Losing herself. Because she couldn't go on like before, because she couldn't live without him, and it was her fault that he had died in the first place.
So in this chapter, Lois is sitting so desperately forlorn and tongue-tied in Clark's kitchen. Because she doesn't know how to reach him, how to make him understand, now that she has lost the woman who used to be her and doesn't know how to make the pieces of herself speak to him properly. So that he understands, so that he really understands, how desperately, desperately she loves him.
And Clark doesn't understand, not right away. He, too, has been wondering why there has been no contact between them for a whole week. Why hasn't she called? Tried to reach him? Isn't she at all interested in him?
And Clark still thinks that Lois loves Superman. Sara, you showed it so brilliantly how Lois brought up Superman precisely because she wanted to explain that the superhero didn't matter to her, that it was Clark she loved, but Clark, typically, believed she was asking him to find the superhero for her so she could throw herself at him
again. I loved the way Clark pulled away from Lois when she brought up Superman.
However, former brilliant reporter Mad Dog Lane, who used to have such a way with words, finally manages to express her feelings verbally so that Clark understands her: He is, and will forever be, the center of her existence and her world. Even if he dies or otherwise disappears from her world she will still keep orbiting the memory of him like a satellite. She will keep orbiting the memory of him, and the memory of what she herself used to be in his company, when life, universe and everything made sense to her. Finally she manages to say it, and finally he believes her, and finally she is in his arms, basking in his embrace and giving love back to him.
As usual, there is such an absolutely delightful collection of screaming-out-to-be-quoted sentences and passages here. I'm such a miser, so I'll just quote a precious few of them:
He'd been out on patrol earlier, and he'd flown by her apartment to check on her - just to make sure she wasn't being clobbered by runaway microwaves or strangled by houseplants or anything
LOL!!!!
So Lois!!! So Clark!!!
Or this:
Trying to act like he wasn't ready to break down in the middle of his living room and beg her to love him, he smiled back at her gently and nodded in the direction of the door. His heart took another dive as she rolled her eyes at him - She Rolled Her Eyes At Him! - and disappeared through the archway.
Oh, oh, so, so Clark... (give me the "love and cry" icon here, please....)
Or this - so incredibly heartbreaking:
How could he be dead, and then be good? Dead and then good? Good and dead?
And this:
Her eyes on his, looking up at him fearfully - wanting and needing a reaction, and getting none. Suddenly he was as unresponsive as a plank of wood, standing stock-still there with his arms tight around her back and his eyes as blank as the first page of her novel.
His eyes as blank as the first page of her novel.... Sara, how can I not
adore this?
Your story is totally, incredibly fascinating, but inside this incredible, powerful narrative also flows numerous wonderful little gems of imagery. It's so, so, so beautiful, Sara!
Ann
