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Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 3,145 Likes: 3
Pulitzer
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OP
Pulitzer
Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 3,145 Likes: 3 |
I really like this story! It definitely is going on my list of Kerth nominees next year. It's got a revelation, it's got a solid A-plot, it's got angst, it's got Bill Henderson, it has Kryptonite - man, it's got just about everything!
If this is really your first attempt at writing a story of this length and complexity, you're an natural. I'm not a writing teacher, but I can't imagine any teacher giving this story anything but an A+. The characters were true, the action was not only believeable but compelling, and the plot held my attention all the way through. The mystery elements were well-planned and well-executed, and the romantic elements were touching and heart-warming.
Thank you for such an excellent narrative, even when you made me suspect (just for a moment) that Clark would die and Lois would spend the rest of her life regretting. But I forgive you for that, because the payoff was great! I expect your next effort to top this one, since you've gotten so much more experience now.
Life isn't a support system for writing. It's the other way around.
- Stephen King, from On Writing
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Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 1,999
Merriwether
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Merriwether
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 1,999 |
Nicely done. It was a fun, well written story. I enjoyed the change of pace of the first person narrative, though I may be biased because it was Lois' point of view. First fic, huh? It's nice to know that the supply of writers for this fandom continues to replenish itself. Tank (who thinks the story could have been a little bit better if Lois hadn't been able to wash the kryptonite paint out of her hair and would have had to cut it out.  )
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Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 1,587
Merriwether
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Merriwether
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 1,587 |
Can I just copy and paste Terry's post? This fic is AWESOME! And since I was offline for a few days (and you post parts quickly -- which I heartily approve of!), I got to finish it up all at once. *happy sigh* A spectacular, tight A-plot; a lovely B-plot (with a great revelation! and Lois' stages of reaction -- so realistic!); and so many memorable, wonderful lines! Thanks again for making this fic available to gfic readers! 
Do you know the most surprising thing about divorce? It doesn't actually kill you, like a bullet to the heart or a head-on car wreck. It should. When someone you've promised to cherish till death do you part says, "I never loved you," it should kill you instantly.
- Under the Tuscan Sun
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Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 454
Beat Reporter
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Beat Reporter
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 454 |
WOW! This is definitely Kerth material.  Thanks for making this available for PG readers, Sue.  Ursie
Lois: Well, I like my quirks. I think they make me unique.
Clark: You certainly are unique.
Clark: You're high maintenance, you know that?
Lois: But I'm worth it!
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Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 2,367
Kerth
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Kerth
Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 2,367 |
Au contraire, Ursie... He lets out a dramatic yawn and stretches. His arm comes to rest on top of the couch behind me.
I roll my eyes. "That's real smooth, Clark. I suppose that works in Kansas."
"There's a difference between just being friendly and putting the moves on you." I'm glad you liked it! Sue
Lois: You know, I have a funny feeling that you didn't tell me your biggest secret.
Clark: Well, just to put your little mind at ease, Lois, you're right.
Ides of Metropolis
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Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 454
Beat Reporter
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Beat Reporter
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 454 |
Mea culpa!  I clearly missed that one. :rolleyes: Comes from reading all the parts in a hurry. I was so curious to know how the story would unfold that I guess I rushed through it a bit. Will definitely read it again when your edited version hits the archive, Sue. And slowly and thoroughly this time. Ursie
Lois: Well, I like my quirks. I think they make me unique.
Clark: You certainly are unique.
Clark: You're high maintenance, you know that?
Lois: But I'm worth it!
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Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 2,667
Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 2,667 |
Sue I was busy writing when you were posting this story so I missed out on it. But after finding out later what an awesome writer my beta reader is, I had to go back and read this just as soon as I found the time. Wow, Sue. Just wow.  After beta reading for you on the PG "Revisionist History", I knew you were talented, awesome... But wow! This was incredible. I loved every second. Thank you for doing the PG version of this. I wish I had been around to beta this for you too. Anytime you want a PG beta just let me know. 
Smile and the world smiles with you ... frown and you're just giving yourself wrinkles.
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Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 1,200
Top Banana
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Top Banana
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 1,200 |
Ok, so I'm new to the boards, and just stumbled on your story. Really excellent work! I just read it start to finish, you had me on the edge of my seat! I even laughed aloud in appropriate moments and felt all the angst! I love the idea of them being distracted by yumminess on each other's lips, too. I have only one little nitpick... I speak French, and there's no 'e' at the end of pain au chocolat itty, bitty, tiny, nitpick. But great, great story!!!
Reach for the moon, for even if you fail, you'll still land among the stars... and who knows? Maybe you'll meet Superman along the way.
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