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#29001 04/09/06 06:09 AM
Joined: Dec 2005
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Hack from Nowheresville
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Caroline, this was just ... I loved it. It was such a heartbreaking insight into Clark's psyche.

This line got me right *there*:
Quote
... he had simply stayed close and listened for her call, and when she called, he had always come, in one guise or another.
That's Clark at his most base. Lois' eternal savior with a heart of gold, whether he's in the Suit or not.

And by the end of the chapter, I was just stunned by Clark's sudden and completely unexpected reaction:
Quote
Bitterness had lodged itself in his heart like a shard of glass, and suddenly he wanted to return some of the pain and embarrassment she’d dealt him that day. “You’re not in love with me, Lois,” he spat, stepping backwards, moving away from her soft touch, her sweet scent. “You’re in love with an actor. A guy who dresses up in a spandex suit his mother made for him. And without the flashy suit, you wouldn’t give me a second look.”

“That’s not true!” she cried. “It’s not true!”

Without stopping to think about it, he spun into a whirl of color before her astonished eyes, and when he stopped, he stood before her as Clark Kent. “Tell me again that it’s not true, Lois,” he said softly.
Ack, my heart constricted for both of them here. Your writing conveys Clark's emotions so well — his hurt, his anger are *tangible.* I love this surprising revelation, and I can't wait to see how this plays out. Please post your next part soon!


~ Crystal

"Not all those who wander are lost." — JRR Tolkien
#29002 04/09/06 06:47 AM
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 192
Hack from Nowheresville
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Your first post on this board and your immediate start is such a fantastic chapter! Welcome Caroline sloppy

Your 'Clark' looks a little out of character, as he'd never lose his cool like that by revealing his deepest secret AND talking so harsh towards Lois. But this makes that story all the more interesting and you end this chapter devoid of any reaction to his final goodbye.

I can't wait for Lois' reaction to all of this!

#29003 04/09/06 07:32 AM
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Top Banana
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Caroline!

Your plunge was just fantastic! Please continue with this...soon. I can't wait to see which direction this one will lead. I love stories based on BatP/HoL! Don't take too long to post the next installment! hail


I'm a firm believer in the fact that God doesn't put any more on us than we can bear. He does however make us come to Jesus every so often.
#29004 04/09/06 07:37 AM
Joined: Mar 2006
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Freelance Reporter
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Hi and welcome to the MB. It's nice to have another newbie. thumbsup It's so heart wrenching

I look forward to more. Keep it up

FinLi


Clark: "Can I have a rat chief? Can I, huh? Please?"

Perry: "Clark, do you want me to send you to the dark room?"

Clark: "The dark room?"
#29005 04/09/06 07:40 AM
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This is very, very interesting, Caroline. I've always found it very irritating that Clark would put up with almost anything, and also create almost any kind of problems, rather than reveal his secret identity to Lois. What a perfect time this was to tell her that she surely didn't know him as well as she thought, and that she had hurt him more than she realized. (On the other hand, shouldn't he accept part of the blame too, for lying to her?)

Can't wait to see where this is going, Caroline. I have to echo everyone else's opinion and say that you have made a fantastic start on these boards! smile

Ann

#29006 04/09/06 09:21 AM
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OH. WOW! eek

Caroline... wow.

You have *no* idea how many times I've watched this very scene. For one, because I'm a sadist and like to watch their pain. whinging

I cannot wait to see where this goes!! What a debut! Welcome to the boards, Caroline! dance

... when do we get the next part? wildguy wildguy wildguy

Sara (who really hasn't the time to be reading on the boards, but *has* to make an exception here smile )


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#29007 04/09/06 01:44 PM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 271
Hack from Nowheresville
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You're off to a good start here, Caroline. Looking forward to read more! hyper

#29008 04/09/06 10:50 PM
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Welcome to the boards, Caroline! mecry

I can't wait to see what happens next. Please post more soon. wildguy

Tricia cool

#29009 04/10/06 03:53 AM
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YES!!!

A Superman-tells-Lois-that-he's-Clark story! I so love these, mostly because its usually Clark who tells Lois that he's Superman or Lois figures it out on her own or something. While those are generaly good I think I like the idea of Superman telling her he's Clark. And ouch! So heart breaking!

*sits tight and waits for more*


Mmm cheese.

I vid, therefor I am.

The hardest lesson is that love can be so fair to some, and so cruel to others. Even those who would be gods.

Anne Shirley: I'm glad you spell your name with a "K." Katherine with a "K" is so much more alluring than Catherine with a "C." A "C" always looks so smug.
Me: *cries*
#29010 04/13/06 02:10 PM
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Hi,

Great start. hyper


Maria D. Ferdez.
---
Don't like Luthor, unfinished, untitled and crossover story, and people that promises and don't deliver. I'm getting choosy with age.
MAF

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